krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
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Bachelor parties: YAY or NAY?
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Posted by krysrenee7
What is your opinion on men having Bachelor parties?
1. Do you agree with the statistics that claim men who engage in Bachelor parties are 86% more likely to cheat during and/or after the party, OR
2. Are you leaning more towards the creed that says most women should have no worries?
If you are FOR Bachelor parties:
1. What are the limits/boundaries you'd establish with your man/fiance, if any at all?
2. Would it matter WHERE the bachelor party was OR WHO was attending? (For example, would it matter if the party was at a strip club vs. a hotel room or pool hall?)
3. Would your comfort level depend on what all you know/details about the bachelor party?
If you are NAY for Bachelor parties:
1. Why not?
2. Have any of you had any bad experiences yourself or known anyone, with whom this kind of party backfired on them/their relationship?
And lastly, what do you guys feel is the DIFFERENCE b/w men having Bachelor parties & women having Bachelorette parties, if there are even any difference?
1. If someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat. Them NOT having a bachelor party is (in my opinion) not going to stop them from cheating in their marriage if that's something they are determined to do.
2. If I had 200 worries on my mind, I would not worry about a bachelor party, in the sense that no matter what, whatever is going to be is going to be; therefore, me worrying about it isn't going to change the outcome.
If you are FOR Bachelor parties:
1. I'm working under the assumption that if we are two adults, then we will both act accordingly. I'm not his mother; therefore, he's going to need to deal with the ramifications if he does something that is inappropriate.
2. Again, I don't worry about stuff like that. Whether it's his best friend or whatever giving him a party in state or in Vegas, that's really not going to change the outcome of events. If someone wants to do something, they are going to do it; regardless of the venue.
3. I wouldn't want to know anything about the bachelor party except for, "Did you have fun?" And I'm certain he wouldn't want to know anything about my bachelorette party for the same reason. I'm a firm believer of "never ask a question you don't want to hear the answer to."
My ONLY problem with some Bachelor parties is that there is this creed that a person is about to do something for the LAST time. My question is, what exactly is a man/woman doing for the last time? People can never answer this question.
-I hope they're not referring to the man hanging with the boys for the last time, b/c marrying someone shouldn't warrant the end to a person's social life.
I keep hearing people say, "This is your LAST TIME to.." & my question is, what exaclty is someone doing for the last time? THAT is the only thing that provokes skepticism about some men/some bachelor parties. If what he/she's doing for the "last time" is approriate, then why would it be the LAST time? I'm assuming that if whatever it is they are doing is okay/appropriate, that doing so any other time shouldn't be a problem.
-I hope they're not referring to the man hanging with the boys for the last time, b/c marrying someone shouldn't warrant the end to a person's social life.
I keep hearing people say, "This is your LAST TIME to.." & my question is, what exaclty is someone doing for the last time? THAT is the only thing that provokes skepticism about some men/some bachelor parties. If what he/she's doing for the "last time" is approriate, then why would it be the LAST time? I'm assuming that if whatever it is they are doing is okay/appropriate, that doing so any other time shouldn't be a problem.
I agree, the "last time" thing doesn't make sense to me either. In my mind, the marriage ceremony doesn't change anything. The commitment to the relationship changes what behavior is acceptable or not and hopefully both parties are committed before the actual ceremony. As for the question "for or against bachelor/bachelorette parties"... I say to each their own. I see nothing wrong with the party itself regardless of the venue.
Posted by krysrenee7
My ONLY problem with some Bachelor parties is that there is this creed that a person is about to do something for the LAST time. My question is, what exactly is a man/woman doing for the last time? People can never answer this question.
-I hope they're not referring to the man hanging with the boys for the last time, b/c marrying someone shouldn't warrant the end to a person's social life.
I keep hearing people say, "This is your LAST TIME to.." & my question is, what exaclty is someone doing for the last time? THAT is the only thing that provokes skepticism about some men/some bachelor parties. If what he/she's doing for the "last time" is approriate, then why would it be the LAST time? I'm assuming that if whatever it is they are doing is okay/appropriate, that doing so any other time shouldn't be a problem.
Every bachelor/bachelorette party is different, and whatever they are referring to could be a variety of things as simple as: "This is the last time you'll be out as a single man/woman" to "This is the last time you can get some a $ $ from another woman/man" (which we clearly know from the cheating statistics is NOT the case).
Long and short, I've known both men and women who had sex at their bachelor/bachelorette parties, but it's fewer than those that I know who haven't. I've been to both bachelor and bachelorette parties, and quite honestly (barring like one mad crazy bachelor party I went to), the bachelorette parties have been just as (or even more) raunchy as the bachelor parties. I have a lot of guy friends, and unfortunately, I'm invited ALL the time; but I've only gone to 4 of them!
I had one male associate whose fiancee' demanded that he not have a bachelor party. He said he wouldn't - which of course, he did. She doesn't know about it (yet). They've been married for about 2 years. I don't know him or her that well, so I can't speak on their relationship, but I think it's always a losing proposition when one adult tries to "demand" that another adult not do something.
Let's say my fiance decided to have his bacherlor party at a strip club. Well here's the problem..Trust my asz! I wouldn't want my man doing anything at a Bachelor party that he wouldn't ordinarily do on any other random day of the week. Bachelor parties shouldn't be "get out of Jail FREE cards." Even if the woman knows NOTHING about the party & its details, I would still expect for my man to know the rules/boundaries regardless of whether I'm there to watch or not.
This creed that a man/woman is doing something for the "last time" is what bothers me about some people's perception of marriage and/or bachelor parties. And the stress/tension is often even HIGHER since men decide to do that questionable "something for the last time" the freakin' day BEFORE the wedding, when emotions & nerves are ALREADY running wild as it is.
I agree that marriage marks the beginning, not the end. My man will still be able to "hang with the guys" after we're married. And if the point of the party is to symbolize his last night being single, I'd assume he would've had that party the day after we entered into a relationship (not the marriage). It's very important that a man/woman gets all of that promiscuity out of their systems not only BEFORE they get married, but even moreso before they jump into a relationship to begin with, that way they won't feel like they're "missing out on" or "giving up" anything for the quote on quote "last time."
Just in case something goes horribly wrong at/after the Bachelor party, I'd prefer it NOT be right before my wedding. If my man is going to have that kind of party, he better have that party wayyyyy before we commit to eachother period. I'm not okay with my man "getting it all out of his sytem" at MY expense.
This creed that a man/woman is doing something for the "last time" is what bothers me about some people's perception of marriage and/or bachelor parties. And the stress/tension is often even HIGHER since men decide to do that questionable "something for the last time" the freakin' day BEFORE the wedding, when emotions & nerves are ALREADY running wild as it is.
I agree that marriage marks the beginning, not the end. My man will still be able to "hang with the guys" after we're married. And if the point of the party is to symbolize his last night being single, I'd assume he would've had that party the day after we entered into a relationship (not the marriage). It's very important that a man/woman gets all of that promiscuity out of their systems not only BEFORE they get married, but even moreso before they jump into a relationship to begin with, that way they won't feel like they're "missing out on" or "giving up" anything for the quote on quote "last time."
Just in case something goes horribly wrong at/after the Bachelor party, I'd prefer it NOT be right before my wedding. If my man is going to have that kind of party, he better have that party wayyyyy before we commit to eachother period. I'm not okay with my man "getting it all out of his sytem" at MY expense.
Would any of you that are FOR Bachelor parties have a problem with your man engaging in parties with their "boys" at strip clubs on any other days of the week? After all, it's about trust right? Technically, what a man/woman does on the night of their bachelor party should be something their partner knows about/is okay with persay that same person were to engage in such activities
Posted by krysrenee7
After all, it's about trust right?
Trust is a double edged sword at times.
Posted by krysrenee7
Technically, what a man/woman does on the night of their bachelor party should be something their partner knows about/is okay with persay that same person were to engage in such activitiesclick to expand
Sure but the other side of that is technically if you truly trust your partner, would the need be there to question his intentions or feel insecure about the situation?
I'm not saying you're wrong or criticizing you. I'm just shooting the shit about the scenario you described 🙂
Posted by krysrenee7
Would any of you that are FOR Bachelor parties have a problem with your man engaging in parties with their "boys" at strip clubs on any other days of the week? After all, it's about trust right? Technically, what a man/woman does on the night of their bachelor party should be something their partner knows about/is okay with persay that same person were to engage in such activities
No, I don't care if someone I'm dating goes to a strip club. I've said this before and I'll say it again, I've had guys I've dated who DIDN'T go to strip clubs and were HUGE cheaters, and I've dated guys who went to strip clubs and WERE NOT cheaters. Case in point, my ex-fiance' did not like strip clubs, and when we were engaged, he said he didn't really want a Bachelor party, even though one of his best friends wanted to throw him one in Mexico or Vegas. I told him that was fine, because I WOULD be having a Bachelorette party. But with ALL of that being said, he was a big cheater (hence our demise); therefore, I'll say it again, it doesn't matter, if someone wants to cheat, they will. Plain and simple. You can be with someone 23 hours of a day, and if they want to cheat in that 1 hour they are alone, then they will. There are people in committed relationships that barely see their SO except once or so a month because of distance/travel, etc, and some of them are in committed, monogamous relationships. Then, there are others who live with their SO, and one, or both of them are cheating. Right, wrong or indifferent, if a person is wired to cheat that's what they will do. I've lived it and seen it time and time again.
Posted by VirgoHeroPosted by krysrenee7
After all, it's about trust right?
Trust is a double edged sword at times.
Posted by krysrenee7
Technically, what a man/woman does on the night of their bachelor party should be something their partner knows about/is okay with persay that same person were to engage in such activities
Sure but the other side of that is technically if you truly trust your partner, would the need be there to question his intentions or feel insecure about the situation?
I'm not saying you're wrong or criticizing you. I'm just shooting the shit about the scenario you described 🙂
click to expand
Trust is the cornerstone of a relationship. If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship (in my opinion). That doesn't mean that I turn a blind eye to obvious stuff or that I bury my head in the sand; however, if I trust someone and they say they are doing something, then I will believe them, because I will feel they have no reason to lie to me. If they break that trust, then they have to deal with the consequences. I've told boyfriends before, "I'm not a babysitter, if you need somebody to watch your a $ $ then pay someone per hour to watch your a $ $ because that's not my job." It may not totally be black & white, but to me, it is. Either they want to be with me, or they don't. If they don't then they know the door swings both ways, and I can leave, or they can most certainly get the hell out. I'm not a prison guard.
Posted by Lauren89Posted by VirgoHeroPosted by...
Sure but the other side of that is technically if you truly trust your partner, would the need be there to question his intentions or feel insecure about the situation?
~You talk like this because you feel secure that as a woman she will be emotional and she will not do anything with another man.click to expand
Actually no! I wasn't making a judgment based anything regarding regarding her as a woman. I'm truly just talking about the concept of "Trust". There are TON'S of guys who fall into the category of being insecure when it comes to their woman and act out accordingly based on the emotion. So for me, it's not a men / women thing.
Plus I suppose I don't make that big of a deal with it comes to strip clubs. At least with my circle of friends, if the boys are heading out for fun, including a strip club, the girls were expected to ride so we all have fun. Usually our girls are the first ones we buy lap dances for. It's fun 😛
Posted by Lauren89
I don't know but for me letting my man go to a strip club it feels the same risk as putting a chocolate fudge cake in front of a person that has been on a diet for 3 months
He might or might not try a bit... but if you put it in front of his eyes he will start thinking chocolate cake!
I'm purely throwing this out there just so we can shoot the shit. So given your example, for you, would it be more of an issue of insecurity or the fact that your man isn't trustworthy?
Posted by USCTaurusGal
Trust is the cornerstone of a relationship. If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship (in my opinion). That doesn't mean that I turn a blind eye to obvious stuff or that I bury my head in the sand; however, if I trust someone and they say they are doing something, then I will believe them, because I will feel they have no reason to lie to me. If they break that trust, then they have to deal with the consequences. I've told boyfriends before, "I'm not a babysitter, if you need somebody to watch your a $ $ then pay someone per hour to watch your a $ $ because that's not my job." It may not totally be black & white, but to me, it is. Either they want to be with me, or they don't. If they don't then they know the door swings both ways, and I can leave, or they can most certainly get the hell out. I'm not a prison guard.
Winner!
I also agree with the idea that a bachelor/bachelorette party is not a free pass to do things that you wouldn't do any other time. Strip clubs are a touchy spot for some people, they don't mean anything to others. I don't see a problem with a guy going to one, while dating, for a bachelor party, or while married. Just cause you are on a diet doesn't mean you cannot look at the menu... (1/2 joking)
Posted by USCTaurusGal
Trust is the cornerstone of a relationship. If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship (in my opinion). That doesn't mean that I turn a blind eye to obvious stuff or that I bury my head in the sand; however, if I trust someone and they say they are doing something, then I will believe them, because I will feel they have no reason to lie to me. If they break that trust, then they have to deal with the consequences. I've told boyfriends before, "I'm not a babysitter, if you need somebody to watch your a $ $ then pay someone per hour to watch your a $ $ because that's not my job." It may not totally be black & white, but to me, it is. Either they want to be with me, or they don't. If they don't then they know the door swings both ways, and I can leave, or they can most certainly get the hell out. I'm not a prison guard.
Yea! That's how I see it. If you're my girl (which is not an easy feat), you tell me to believe you then I will. You break that even once, then go to f'ing hell with you! You're OUT!
Posted by ianthefish
what i wanted was a place to throw a party, (reception hall type place) with a keg of beer for the drinkers, and to have all my friends show up, girls included cause we hang with a lot of girls in our circle of friends... i wanted it to be close to home so everyone could come without having to travel far...
See. That's TOTALLY perfect
Posted by ianthefish
if you cant trust your partner for a night without you, you may as well not get married...
I couldn't have said it better myself. And for the record, I've been to strip clubs, more times than I care to admit too, because the guys WANTED me to be there. It doesn't offend me, and I have known a couple of strippers in my life. Is it something I'd chose to do, ummm, no, but who am I to say they are wrong for their selection of careers. I know it's a touchy subject for many, but again, I've met some really nice women who were strippers (and 75% of them did NOT like men). I don't know if it's an insecurity issue or not, but I know that I don't have anything to worry about from a stripper - I can take that to the bank and cash it!
Posted by ianthefish
but, my party did happen for like 19 hours straight, so it was one for the records... cause thats how we party, HARD!!
WOOT WOOT!!!!!
Posted by Lauren89Perhaps I might stay single for the rest of my life. But better single than with a cheater for a whole lifetime.
I agree with ya! I think that's what most of us are saying in our own little way.
"100% or fucking nothing at all"
I — you VH 🙂 You rock (except for your choices in Football - another topic for another thread! LMAO)
Posted by Lauren89
I can trust my man a night out without me. But a bachelor party is not a simple night out. Most of the times involves strippers and prostitutes.
Strippers and prostitutes are completely different. I understand not wanting your partner to have a prostitute.
Posted by Lauren89
The idea of a bachelor party puts me off with the idea of marriage. Perhaps I might stay single for the rest of my life. But better single than with a cheater for a whole lifetime.click to expand
Those aren't the only two options you know...
Posted by VirgoHeroPosted by USCTaurusGal
I — you VH 🙂
I know you do, babygirl. I know you do. *Cocky grin*click to expand
*smh*
Posted by USCTaurusGalPosted by VirgoHeroPosted by USCTaurusGal
I — you VH 🙂
I know you do, babygirl. I know you do. *Cocky grin*
*smh*click to expand
Hahah
Posted by krysrenee7
1. Do you agree with the statistics that claim men who engage in Bachelor parties are 86% more likely to cheat during and/or after the party, OR
2. Are you leaning more towards the creed that says most women should have no worries?
If he's a pig and he's going to do something trashy the night/week before the wedding, you should re-think marrying him.
A bachelor party doesn't have to be sketchy.
Posted by krysrenee7
1. What are the limits/boundaries you'd establish with your man/fiance, if any at all?
I shouldn't have to go over what's acceptable behavior with a man I'm marrying?!
But: Strippers, alcohol, partying, whatever - fine. He shouldn't engage in any questionable behavior that he wouldn't want me seeing and/or engaging in myself.
Posted by krysrenee7
2. Would it matter WHERE the bachelor party was OR WHO was attending? (For example, would it matter if the party was at a strip club vs. a hotel room or pool hall?)
Nope.
Posted by krysrenee7
3. Would your comfort level depend on what all you know/details about the bachelor party?
Nope. It's his bachelor party.
Posted by krysrenee7
And lastly, what do you guys feel is the DIFFERENCE b/w men having Bachelor parties & women having Bachelorette parties, if there are even any difference?
click to expand
Not really a huge difference, except generally speaking, women aren't going to go to Costa Rica and fuck a 15 year old hooker right before they get married. 🙂 Just saying.
Posted by brianafayPosted by krysrenee7
1. Do you agree with the statistics that claim men who engage in Bachelor parties are 86% more likely to cheat during and/or after the party, OR
2. Are you leaning more towards the creed that says most women should have no worries?
If he's a pig and he's going to do something trashy the night/week before the wedding, you should re-think marrying him.
A bachelor party doesn't have to be sketchy.
Posted by krysrenee7
1. What are the limits/boundaries you'd establish with your man/fiance, if any at all?
I shouldn't have to go over what's acceptable behavior with a man I'm marrying?!
But: Strippers, alcohol, partying, whatever - fine. He shouldn't engage in any questionable behavior that he wouldn't want me seeing and/or engaging in myself.
Posted by krysrenee7
2. Would it matter WHERE the bachelor party was OR WHO was attending? (For example, would it matter if the party was at a strip club vs. a hotel room or pool hall?)
Nope.
Posted by krysrenee7
3. Would your comfort level depend on what all you know/details about the bachelor party?
Nope. It's his bachelor party.
Posted by krysrenee7
And lastly, what do you guys feel is the DIFFERENCE b/w men having Bachelor parties & women having Bachelorette parties, if there are even any difference?
Not really a huge difference, except generally speaking, women aren't going to go to Costa Rica and fuck a 15 year old hooker right before they get married. 🙂 Just saying.click to expand
Hahahaaa Briana, you are too much...true, but too much! LOL.
Yes, your last point is correct, unless of course the name is Mary Kay Latourneau (spelling) who seduced her 13/14 year old student. That's just gross to me, so yes, you are correct, with some notable exceptions women typically do NOT go to Costa Rica to have sex with underaged hookers! LOL
😄
It's not always about trust as a whole. There is such a thing as boundaries & having them doesn't mean that a woman/man is insecure. The truth is, whether you trust your partner or not, there should ALWAYS be some boundary lines of respect. Part in reason why it's possible for someone to trust another person is b/c of those boundary lines not only being put into place BUT also b/c those lines are respected & NOT crossed. Every woman who establishes what is NOT okay doesn't mean she's only doing/saying so out of insecurity. Lines/boundaries/do's & don'ts have nothing to do with trust.
How much you trust your man has nothing to do with how likely he is to betray that trust and/or cheat. I agree that if a man is going to cheat, he's going to justify his own reasons in his own head; I think some women are only okay with their partners having a bachelor party b/c it's a 1 time deal/day. But once again, I wouldn't appreciate my man doing OR going anywhere the day before we get married that I wouldn't appreciate him doing/going on any other day of the year. And b/c some men/women see Bachelor/Bachelorette parties as "That 1 day/time when you get to do everything for the last time," the boyfriend/girlfriend of a person with this mindset wouldn't be insecure by setting boundaries. No, they'd be full out smart.
People love to throw in the "trust" card but let's be honest, how would half of you feel if your fiance was chatting it up with his ex every night? It's about TRUST, right? A woman that prefers her man stay away from ex's from the past isn't necessarily making that request out of insecurity. After all, there IS such a thing as certain places/situations that committed men/women should not place themselves in. There is such a thing & whether or not you trust your man doesn't take away the fact that there ARE some places the average man (since they always claim they're just "human") shouldn't be entertaining/going. Sometimes it's about establishing boundaries; pulling the "trust" card is not always necessary
How much you trust your man has nothing to do with how likely he is to betray that trust and/or cheat. I agree that if a man is going to cheat, he's going to justify his own reasons in his own head; I think some women are only okay with their partners having a bachelor party b/c it's a 1 time deal/day. But once again, I wouldn't appreciate my man doing OR going anywhere the day before we get married that I wouldn't appreciate him doing/going on any other day of the year. And b/c some men/women see Bachelor/Bachelorette parties as "That 1 day/time when you get to do everything for the last time," the boyfriend/girlfriend of a person with this mindset wouldn't be insecure by setting boundaries. No, they'd be full out smart.
People love to throw in the "trust" card but let's be honest, how would half of you feel if your fiance was chatting it up with his ex every night? It's about TRUST, right? A woman that prefers her man stay away from ex's from the past isn't necessarily making that request out of insecurity. After all, there IS such a thing as certain places/situations that committed men/women should not place themselves in. There is such a thing & whether or not you trust your man doesn't take away the fact that there ARE some places the average man (since they always claim they're just "human") shouldn't be entertaining/going. Sometimes it's about establishing boundaries; pulling the "trust" card is not always necessary
I trust my man all day but would I prefer that he spend the night with 3 naked strippers? Hell no.
I trust my man all day but would I be okay with him sleeping naked next to his ex girlfriend when I'm out of town? Hell no. Can any of you really say that I'm only saying "Hell no" out of insecurity? HELL NO! Can any of you blaim me for saying "Hell now" to these things b/c after all, it's about trust right?
There are certain times/things where the "Well if you trust your man it shouldn't matter" card isn't even valid, considering lines of boundary/respect should be there regardless. And people shouldn't start associating having those boundaries in place as being the same as insecurities.
Granted, there are plenty of men/women who have bachelor/bachelorette parties that are innocent & all in good fun. But realistically, there are alot of men/women who give these kinds of parties bad names. For some women, allowing their man to have a Bachelor party at a certain place (like the strip club or Vegas for example) is a hell no b/c they consider that kind of environment as unhealthy for a committed man, no matter what the occasion is the next day.
And it makes it even worse for these kinds of women b/c there's also this creed that says, "What happens here, stays here" as if there's some BIG SECRET to all the supposed "innocent fun" going on.
I trust my man all day but would I be okay with him sleeping naked next to his ex girlfriend when I'm out of town? Hell no. Can any of you really say that I'm only saying "Hell no" out of insecurity? HELL NO! Can any of you blaim me for saying "Hell now" to these things b/c after all, it's about trust right?
There are certain times/things where the "Well if you trust your man it shouldn't matter" card isn't even valid, considering lines of boundary/respect should be there regardless. And people shouldn't start associating having those boundaries in place as being the same as insecurities.
Granted, there are plenty of men/women who have bachelor/bachelorette parties that are innocent & all in good fun. But realistically, there are alot of men/women who give these kinds of parties bad names. For some women, allowing their man to have a Bachelor party at a certain place (like the strip club or Vegas for example) is a hell no b/c they consider that kind of environment as unhealthy for a committed man, no matter what the occasion is the next day.
And it makes it even worse for these kinds of women b/c there's also this creed that says, "What happens here, stays here" as if there's some BIG SECRET to all the supposed "innocent fun" going on.
@Fiesty..interesting. I agree with some of the points you've stated. Problem is though too that some men don't even let the thought of cheating enter their mind until they are actually in that moment/environment where it's the most likely.
I mean think about, the average guy having a bachelor party will be surrounded around a bunch of single men who don't have any reason to respect someone back at home. Plus, not all guys who cheat always pre-meditated having an affair. There are plenty of guys who will admit that b/c they were placed or put themselves in bad situations/tempting environments, that "one thing led to another." Some men are literally just caught up in the moment, either through influence of their single buddies OR the other woman. Not all guys who cheat knew they were going to cheat the minute they walked out of their houses. And with all do respect, Bachelor parties & what they usually contain is the PERFECT atmosphere for men to "accidentally" be taken down under certain influences.
Now granted, a man should be secure with/in himself, as to know NOT to fall to temptation, BUT the truth though is that some men do. And men like this, in particular don't always realize they weren't trustworthy until they are actually in the moment.
There's this untrue creed that men always pre-meditate cheating; this is NOT always true. Some men may walk out of the house one day with NO thoughts of cheating at all, BUT the minute they get to the strip club, for example, they are now surrounded by lust, temptations & a whole bunch of buddies encouraging them to "go for it." And when the man actually falters, b/c after all they love to use the line, "I'm just human," I don't see any women using the "Trust" card then
I mean think about, the average guy having a bachelor party will be surrounded around a bunch of single men who don't have any reason to respect someone back at home. Plus, not all guys who cheat always pre-meditated having an affair. There are plenty of guys who will admit that b/c they were placed or put themselves in bad situations/tempting environments, that "one thing led to another." Some men are literally just caught up in the moment, either through influence of their single buddies OR the other woman. Not all guys who cheat knew they were going to cheat the minute they walked out of their houses. And with all do respect, Bachelor parties & what they usually contain is the PERFECT atmosphere for men to "accidentally" be taken down under certain influences.
Now granted, a man should be secure with/in himself, as to know NOT to fall to temptation, BUT the truth though is that some men do. And men like this, in particular don't always realize they weren't trustworthy until they are actually in the moment.
There's this untrue creed that men always pre-meditate cheating; this is NOT always true. Some men may walk out of the house one day with NO thoughts of cheating at all, BUT the minute they get to the strip club, for example, they are now surrounded by lust, temptations & a whole bunch of buddies encouraging them to "go for it." And when the man actually falters, b/c after all they love to use the line, "I'm just human," I don't see any women using the "Trust" card then
There is temptation everywhere. Either you trust the person NOT to succumb to it, or you don't.
If a man is going to cheat, it COULD be with strippers; or, it could be with some random woman at his job who is ALWAYS available and LISTENS to him, and COMFORTS him when he feels down, and listens to him complain about HIS WOMAN. See, I'm not buying that men can't control themselves. I've seen some men in some very tenuous situations and they came out with flying colors. On the flip side, I have male friends who are complete dogs. Yes, there are boundaries in every relationship: parent & child; friends; boyfriend & girlfriend; husband & wife, but when all is said and done, at the end of the day, it's the individuals choice and responsibility to do what's right by the person they are with. So, regardless if there are 9 butt a $ $ naked women laying in his bed, or some desperate woman pushing up on him at work - he ALWAYS has a mouth to say, "No, I'm not interested." Whether he does this or not has no bearing on me, as I'm not his mom, conscious or anything else. As much energy as women put into worrying about the BS their man COULD do, they could expend their energies making themselves the flossiest, smartest, bombest woman they can be. If the man f@cks up, then his damn loss. I don't have time to be worrying about that crap, I have my own life, business and sh $ t I need to take care of versus worrying about who/what/when/where the man is. As one of my girl cousins (a Scorpio has coined) "You shouldn't be worried about where your man is, his a $ $ should be worrying about where YOU are."
If a man is going to cheat, it COULD be with strippers; or, it could be with some random woman at his job who is ALWAYS available and LISTENS to him, and COMFORTS him when he feels down, and listens to him complain about HIS WOMAN. See, I'm not buying that men can't control themselves. I've seen some men in some very tenuous situations and they came out with flying colors. On the flip side, I have male friends who are complete dogs. Yes, there are boundaries in every relationship: parent & child; friends; boyfriend & girlfriend; husband & wife, but when all is said and done, at the end of the day, it's the individuals choice and responsibility to do what's right by the person they are with. So, regardless if there are 9 butt a $ $ naked women laying in his bed, or some desperate woman pushing up on him at work - he ALWAYS has a mouth to say, "No, I'm not interested." Whether he does this or not has no bearing on me, as I'm not his mom, conscious or anything else. As much energy as women put into worrying about the BS their man COULD do, they could expend their energies making themselves the flossiest, smartest, bombest woman they can be. If the man f@cks up, then his damn loss. I don't have time to be worrying about that crap, I have my own life, business and sh $ t I need to take care of versus worrying about who/what/when/where the man is. As one of my girl cousins (a Scorpio has coined) "You shouldn't be worried about where your man is, his a $ $ should be worrying about where YOU are."
LMAO! I think Mel Brooks is awesome.
As a side note though, Gregory Hines is dead 😢 so that made me sad to see him in that clip.
@ Lauren - it's the same thing as anybody that has an addiction - alcohol, drugs, etc. It's a day to day struggle to keep away from temptation. Some people make it, and some don't, that's why it's called "recovery." But again, I am not trying to convince anybody to think the way I do. My point is for ME, I don't have time to worry about stuff like that, because either the person wants to be with me or they don't. Strippers, ex-girlfriends, bad influences by their male friends, needy women at the job...all of these are excuses to be made as to WHY someone will cheat. Some people can control themselves; some people can't. Male AND female, because men don't have a monopoly on cheating.
As a side note though, Gregory Hines is dead 😢 so that made me sad to see him in that clip.
@ Lauren - it's the same thing as anybody that has an addiction - alcohol, drugs, etc. It's a day to day struggle to keep away from temptation. Some people make it, and some don't, that's why it's called "recovery." But again, I am not trying to convince anybody to think the way I do. My point is for ME, I don't have time to worry about stuff like that, because either the person wants to be with me or they don't. Strippers, ex-girlfriends, bad influences by their male friends, needy women at the job...all of these are excuses to be made as to WHY someone will cheat. Some people can control themselves; some people can't. Male AND female, because men don't have a monopoly on cheating.
Posted by buttercupSG
infact i organized that ^^^ party 😢. it went a bit more wild than i planned :/. sometimes things have a way to progress on their own...
no one was hurt and everyone had some silly fun it seemed. one of the girls there went out with the 8 pack stripper a few times after i guess...
on the other hand, the bachelor got a lap dance, took too many shots from everyone there, fell on his face hard, and went unconscious for a short while. it took him 2 days to be able to get out of sofa (he couldn't even walk upstair to bed). he married a week later with a black eye looking like a panda :/.
Just LOL at that whole post!
Posted by krysrenee7
There are plenty of guys who will admit that b/c they were placed or put themselves in bad situations/tempting environments, that "one thing led to another." Some men are literally just caught up in the moment, either through influence of their single buddies OR the other woman. Not all guys who cheat knew they were going to cheat the minute they walked out of their houses.
Alcohol does not change who a person is. It does not make people do things they don't want to do. All it does it turns off the "what would other people say" voice and leaves them with just the "what do I want to do" thing.
Of course they say one thing led to another, otherwise they would be admitting to planning it... or at the very least not caring enough to say no. USC is right, temptation is EVERYWHERE. It's not about one thing leading to another, at any one of those things he/she could have stopped. I have had opportunities to cheat. I have gone to parties and been drunk with beautiful women who liked me. I have been to strip clubs (not that I consider this an opportunity to cheat *shudder*). Nothing goes further than we allow it to. Cheating is not an accident, it's not something that just happens, stop allowing people these silly excuses.
From The Last Boy Scout:
[Joe has just found out that Mike was sleeping with his wife]
Mike Mathews: Look Joe, it just happened.
Joe Hallenbeck: Sure, sure, it just happened. Could happen to anybody. It was an accident, right? You tripped, fell on the floor and accidently stuck your dick into my wife. "Oops, I'm sorry, Mrs. H, I guess this just isn't my week".
When did we start assuming that a guy having a bachelor party meant he was going to sleep with a stripper anyway? Just cause we like to look at boobies doesn't mean we want to motorboat them all...
🙂
@ Valeria - yeah, I don't know the reasons why people do the things they do; if I did I would be making a sh $ tload of money! It just cracks me up sometimes with things because people spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure things out that they, in fact, have NO way of controlling. I know that's just the way human nature is, but quite honestly, I have a hard enough time trying to keep myself out of trouble than having to also worry about some jacka $ $ too! I really try not to validate or make excuses for peoples behavior. People need to own their own sh $ t. If I mess up, I own up to it. I don't try to blame it on society, or any Tom, Dick, Harry, or Jane. People make their own choices in life, and sometimes they are the wrong choices. Either they will live and learn from those choices and/or mistakes, or they won't. No amount of babysitting, following around, questioning or harrassing a person is going to make them "act right."
No one should be rubbing their face anywhere.
Oh I am in 100% agreement with you @USC about how each person has to take individual responsibility for their actions. I'm in no way insinuating that men don't have "control." Ohhh yes they do but I'm thinking in terms of the mind of a cheater and/or the mind of someone that has cheated before. Yes, men are SUPPOSED to say no to temptation, but let's be honest, half of them don't & ESPECIALLY when they assume their partner will never find out about it.
Just like it's important to trust your man & live your own life accordingly, it's also just as important to not be blinded by reality. Men, themselves love to throw in the card that they are "human" or "make mistakes" even in situations when they could've taken complete control & said NO. We as women know that the "one thing led to the next" line is utter bull, but the truth though IS that some men can slip up & especially when they are vulnerable. And the day before a man's wedding is when he's the most prone to vulnerability & emotional flip-flopping. This is often the reason why a man's buddies hire the greatest temptation of them all! Even a man who respects his relationship knows better than to PURPOSELY place himself in an environment where he knows he's likely to fall to temptation persay he was having 1 of those "vulnerable days."
Sure a man can be tempted at work, BUT there is a HUGE difference b/w him being tempted at work vs. at a bachelor party. 1, it's sometimes easier for men to walk away from temptation when they can see it coming and/or have time to fight it off. At work, there aren't 100 single guys screaming at him to "get it over with & screw the secretary b/c no one will know/find out." There's this creed about Bachelor parties (since it's usually only for ONE night) that people are often doing something for the "last time," & THIS is when I start to become skeptical about Bachelor parties. It's not about worrying all day what my man is doing. It's about not purposely placing the "cake" in front of him when I KNOW good & damn well he's trying to diet. Sure he can say no to the cake all day, BUT me purposely pushing him towards something unhealthy for him is not a good move either
Just like it's important to trust your man & live your own life accordingly, it's also just as important to not be blinded by reality. Men, themselves love to throw in the card that they are "human" or "make mistakes" even in situations when they could've taken complete control & said NO. We as women know that the "one thing led to the next" line is utter bull, but the truth though IS that some men can slip up & especially when they are vulnerable. And the day before a man's wedding is when he's the most prone to vulnerability & emotional flip-flopping. This is often the reason why a man's buddies hire the greatest temptation of them all! Even a man who respects his relationship knows better than to PURPOSELY place himself in an environment where he knows he's likely to fall to temptation persay he was having 1 of those "vulnerable days."
Sure a man can be tempted at work, BUT there is a HUGE difference b/w him being tempted at work vs. at a bachelor party. 1, it's sometimes easier for men to walk away from temptation when they can see it coming and/or have time to fight it off. At work, there aren't 100 single guys screaming at him to "get it over with & screw the secretary b/c no one will know/find out." There's this creed about Bachelor parties (since it's usually only for ONE night) that people are often doing something for the "last time," & THIS is when I start to become skeptical about Bachelor parties. It's not about worrying all day what my man is doing. It's about not purposely placing the "cake" in front of him when I KNOW good & damn well he's trying to diet. Sure he can say no to the cake all day, BUT me purposely pushing him towards something unhealthy for him is not a good move either
the short version:
i agree with lauren.
true, people who want to cheat will cheat.
however, cheating is not always planned. sometimes people have no intention of cheating, but end up doing so because of the situations they put themselves in.
desire is powerful and it can overrule logic in that moment.
THEREFORE, i will never condone my S.O. putting themselves in blatantly, unusually tempting situations. so a bachelor party with lots of alcohol and (questionable) strippers would not be ok with me.
i trust him on a day to day, but would i trust him to have iron willpower in any situation? no, definitely not. i myself don't have iron willpower all the time, which is why i try to avoid potentially harmful situations.
now, if he really wanted to go to a bachelor party or have one, would i throw a tantrum and try to manipulate him into not going? not at all. i would accept it, but i would let him know how i felt about the risk involved, and if he decided to go through with it and slipped up then he would have to deal with the consequences.
i agree with lauren.
true, people who want to cheat will cheat.
however, cheating is not always planned. sometimes people have no intention of cheating, but end up doing so because of the situations they put themselves in.
desire is powerful and it can overrule logic in that moment.
THEREFORE, i will never condone my S.O. putting themselves in blatantly, unusually tempting situations. so a bachelor party with lots of alcohol and (questionable) strippers would not be ok with me.
i trust him on a day to day, but would i trust him to have iron willpower in any situation? no, definitely not. i myself don't have iron willpower all the time, which is why i try to avoid potentially harmful situations.
now, if he really wanted to go to a bachelor party or have one, would i throw a tantrum and try to manipulate him into not going? not at all. i would accept it, but i would let him know how i felt about the risk involved, and if he decided to go through with it and slipped up then he would have to deal with the consequences.
Posted by krysrenee7
Yes, men are SUPPOSED to say no to temptation, but let's be honest, half of them don't & ESPECIALLY when they assume their partner will never find out about it.
Well, for me, that's not MY problem, that's HIS problem. If he feels that he can do something one time and not get caught, then guess what, he better hope he doesn't "get caught." Me sitting around worrying and wringing my hands about it isn't going to make him NOT do it, so for me, I'd rather focus on what I HAVE control over; versus something that may or may not happen.
Posted by trifles light as air*
he would have to deal with the consequences.
Exactly, HE would have to deal with the consequences of HIS actions.
Posted by Lauren89Posted by LibraSid
No one should be rubbing their face anywhere.
yeah.. but the stripper will rub her tits on your face if you go! This is a classic! 😉
As you don't like the idea of what I said I don't want the face of the love of my life close to any other woman's tits.
Now do you get my point why I get upset with this idea? I want him all mine!click to expand
I do understand where you are coming from and honestly that would be between your man and you. If someone I was with didn't want me to go to strip clubs I would understand and wouldn't go. We are confusing arguments here. You are not against bachelor parties, you are against your man going to strip clubs and/or having naked women around (understandably). Not all bachelor parties have naked women.
Lauren I'm sure you will find someone who will not want a Bachelor party. There are some men who aren't interested in Bachelor parties, but that still doesn't guarantee they aren't cheaters. Just my .02. I've said enough on this topic.
Good night all.
Good night all.
Posted by Lauren89
I won't say anything either. I will pretend that I am ok with it and I will encourage him if he wants to... but then I will just cancel the wedding considering already as a cheater and an incompatible person with me.
And women wonder why we don't understand you... if you don't like something, please tell us.
Posted by buttercupSG
interesting. i wouldn't entertain the thought of marrying someone if i don't trust him 100% regardless what kinda temptation he faces.
so the way i feel is soley based on the fact that i cannot stand the pic of it running in my head endlessly.
you see, i'm a bit jaded. i don't trust anyone 100% . in fact, i think it's foolish to do so...and i am not saying that YOU are foolish, so don't take it that way. just that it's been my experience that people will inevitably let you down in some way or another. i just think that no one is perfect, or capable of resisting every temptation that's thrown their way.
now, if i could find someone who proved otherwise, that would be fantastic. but i haven't, and hence my slight allowance for potential error.
Posted by trifles light as air*Posted by buttercupSG
interesting. i wouldn't entertain the thought of marrying someone if i don't trust him 100% regardless what kinda temptation he faces.
so the way i feel is soley based on the fact that i cannot stand the pic of it running in my head endlessly.
you see, i'm a bit jaded. i don't trust anyone 100% . in fact, i think it's foolish to do so...and i am not saying that YOU are foolish, so don't take it that way. just that it's been my experience that people will inevitably let you down in some way or another. i just think that no one is perfect, or capable of resisting every temptation that's thrown their way.
now, if i could find someone who proved otherwise, that would be fantastic. but i haven't, and hence my slight allowance for potential error.click to expand
Letting someone down and not being trustworthy are different things. Lots of us guys are 100% trustworthy, we will still let you down though because none of us are perfect.
A guy may tell you he has a surprise for you when you get home, you may come up with all kinds of ideas what he is "planning" then when you get there he did the dishes and vacuumed... would you be let down? It depends what you got your hopes up for. Does it mean you cannot trust him? No.
Everyone will let you down at some point. Doing so intentionally is when trust issues arise.
Sure every woman/man should trust their partner to the ends of the earth in fairy tale land, but let's be realistic here. A lot of people only have CONDITIONAL trust for their partners. If their partners appear to be following/respecting the boundaries put into place, the trust will stand strong, BUT the minute something even looks like it could be crossing the line, the average person will NOT ignore that & continue to live their own little beautiful life. Let's just be honest here.
So many people love to use the "Oh I do trust my man" card all the time as if saying that warrants that she won't care whether or not he betrays that trust or not. All men who cheat knew they were going to cheat at some point in time, whether it's pre-meditated hours before OR exactly in that moment. BUT, there is nothing wrong with establishing some boundary lines for whichever that couple feels comfortable. And it's sad that people associate having certain boundaries lines as being the same as insecurity. None of us want our partners to cheat & granted, there are some women who are actually strong enough to walk away persay he actually does. But look around, so many women can't even get over their ex boyfriends or current partner's who cheat, thus this shows that it's not as easy as people in fairy tale land make it seem to just "trust" someone & ESPECIALLY someone whose with somebody who purposely puts himself in tempting environments.
Hell it's hard for the average person to control their OWN urges (whether pre-meditated OR discovered in the literal moment), thus it's only realistic to assume that on certain occasions/certain environments, your partner would be just as HUMAN too. Sure, everyone has a choice & there shouldn't be any excuses, BUT guess what? Men make these excuses all the time & in THEIR mind, they actually justify these things. We may not understand these things at all but that doesn't mean things will change. I've spoken to SOOO many cheaters & their mindset about things is that 1. They always tend to blaim their actions on the environment they were placed in (whether they placed themselves there or someone else did). Sure, it's not right & is a cop-out but that doesn't change that men are still ACTIVELY using the same lines & repeating this behavior. If half of the MEN on this planet don't even trust themsevles in certain environments, then why should I?
So many people love to use the "Oh I do trust my man" card all the time as if saying that warrants that she won't care whether or not he betrays that trust or not. All men who cheat knew they were going to cheat at some point in time, whether it's pre-meditated hours before OR exactly in that moment. BUT, there is nothing wrong with establishing some boundary lines for whichever that couple feels comfortable. And it's sad that people associate having certain boundaries lines as being the same as insecurity. None of us want our partners to cheat & granted, there are some women who are actually strong enough to walk away persay he actually does. But look around, so many women can't even get over their ex boyfriends or current partner's who cheat, thus this shows that it's not as easy as people in fairy tale land make it seem to just "trust" someone & ESPECIALLY someone whose with somebody who purposely puts himself in tempting environments.
Hell it's hard for the average person to control their OWN urges (whether pre-meditated OR discovered in the literal moment), thus it's only realistic to assume that on certain occasions/certain environments, your partner would be just as HUMAN too. Sure, everyone has a choice & there shouldn't be any excuses, BUT guess what? Men make these excuses all the time & in THEIR mind, they actually justify these things. We may not understand these things at all but that doesn't mean things will change. I've spoken to SOOO many cheaters & their mindset about things is that 1. They always tend to blaim their actions on the environment they were placed in (whether they placed themselves there or someone else did). Sure, it's not right & is a cop-out but that doesn't change that men are still ACTIVELY using the same lines & repeating this behavior. If half of the MEN on this planet don't even trust themsevles in certain environments, then why should I?
Ever heard the phrase, "Never say never, b/c you never know what you'll do in certain situations until you're ACTUALLY there." This holds true for some cheaters. Not all men who cheat walked out the door this morning & vowed to cheat on their partners. It may suck & seem like an excuse that some men use the "one thing led to another" speech but the reality though is that sometimes it does when they are placed in environments where 1. Other men are likely to encourage them to cheat 2. The chances of them getting caught are slim to none.
A survey was done back in 2008 on men who cheat & the reasons for why they cheat even if they're in happy, fulfilling relationships & 73% of them claimed that even if they didn't ever plan on cheating, that mindset changes the minute they place themselves in environments where the chances of getting caught are slim to none. THIS is why I say some men can walk out of the door with the intent to be faithful to their partners, BUT the minute they enter that stripclub, the mentality of the men around him changes, thus so do the rules sometimes. People dispute this but yet look around. People adapt to their environments, even if these changes in mindset are a result of a man/woman not being strong enough to hold true to their OWN values. We can all say all day long how things SHOULD be, but in certain cases & out of respect/protection of your own relationship, it's sometimes okay to think realistically about what actually DOES & IS happening.
IT's no different than the bullshxt creed about men only cheating b/c their partners must not be doing something right. This is bull. Sometimes a man who has it all (money, power, his career & the imperfect perfect woman & family) will still cheat, BUT not b/c he's a dog & evil person. BUT moreso b/c certain environments warrant certain changes in mindset. The same holds true for when a man is around his boys vs. around his woman. Even though a man doesn't completely change just b/c he's around his buddies, he probably does change just a little bit b/c of the change in atmosphere. Bachelor parties represent a HUGE change in environment & mindset & whether you trust your partner or not, every woman/man has to acknowledge & understand this. This change doesn't guarantee cheating, BUT there IS a reason Bachelor parties are starting to carry a bad name/stigma.
A survey was done back in 2008 on men who cheat & the reasons for why they cheat even if they're in happy, fulfilling relationships & 73% of them claimed that even if they didn't ever plan on cheating, that mindset changes the minute they place themselves in environments where the chances of getting caught are slim to none. THIS is why I say some men can walk out of the door with the intent to be faithful to their partners, BUT the minute they enter that stripclub, the mentality of the men around him changes, thus so do the rules sometimes. People dispute this but yet look around. People adapt to their environments, even if these changes in mindset are a result of a man/woman not being strong enough to hold true to their OWN values. We can all say all day long how things SHOULD be, but in certain cases & out of respect/protection of your own relationship, it's sometimes okay to think realistically about what actually DOES & IS happening.
IT's no different than the bullshxt creed about men only cheating b/c their partners must not be doing something right. This is bull. Sometimes a man who has it all (money, power, his career & the imperfect perfect woman & family) will still cheat, BUT not b/c he's a dog & evil person. BUT moreso b/c certain environments warrant certain changes in mindset. The same holds true for when a man is around his boys vs. around his woman. Even though a man doesn't completely change just b/c he's around his buddies, he probably does change just a little bit b/c of the change in atmosphere. Bachelor parties represent a HUGE change in environment & mindset & whether you trust your partner or not, every woman/man has to acknowledge & understand this. This change doesn't guarantee cheating, BUT there IS a reason Bachelor parties are starting to carry a bad name/stigma.
someone summarize that for me pleaseee, I'm too lazy to read it all this morning
This is simple psychology. When placed in an extreme different atmosphere than usual, the mindset changes b/c the atmosphere does. And in regards to Bachelor parties (and assuming the average man doesn't make it a daily habit to frequent certain environments), this is why it's important to understand the RISKS associated with certain atmospheres.
1. It's no different than parents & their teens. A parent knows that it's a natural human cycle for teens to start changing their ways/attitudes/behaviors the minute they are around other teens who engage in activities they aren't used to and/or are possibly curious about. Parents aren't wrong in making sure they do all they can to keep their kids away from certain atompsheres (drugs, sex, etc.) Nor are the parents always insinuating that they don't trust their kids to make the right choices. BUT, realistic parents look the hell around & realize that while yes it sucks that sometimes their teens can "follow the pack" of their friends & their environment, THIS IS human nature.
2. A woman may believe her partner is faithful & she might trust him all day long around a pack of strippers, BUT her boundary line though might be that he's not allowed to actually engage in any activities outside of the strip club with them. Is this woman insecure just b/c she won't allow her man to entertain himself with a bunch of women he's NOT committed to? Or is she smart for recognizing that it's not smart to place the chocolate cake in front of a kid whose trying to diet & whom already has enough temptations around him/her as it is?
These things are human nature/psychology. When a person is placed in an environment they are new to and/or that they see others actively following, things sometimes change. This is why I said not all men who end up cheating the night before their wedding did so in a pre-medidated manner. Sometimes a man doesn't realize he had another side until he's literally IN that moment. It's not about walking around & "worrying" about this; BUT it is wise to AT LEAST acknowledge & understand this theory of human psychology
1. It's no different than parents & their teens. A parent knows that it's a natural human cycle for teens to start changing their ways/attitudes/behaviors the minute they are around other teens who engage in activities they aren't used to and/or are possibly curious about. Parents aren't wrong in making sure they do all they can to keep their kids away from certain atompsheres (drugs, sex, etc.) Nor are the parents always insinuating that they don't trust their kids to make the right choices. BUT, realistic parents look the hell around & realize that while yes it sucks that sometimes their teens can "follow the pack" of their friends & their environment, THIS IS human nature.
2. A woman may believe her partner is faithful & she might trust him all day long around a pack of strippers, BUT her boundary line though might be that he's not allowed to actually engage in any activities outside of the strip club with them. Is this woman insecure just b/c she won't allow her man to entertain himself with a bunch of women he's NOT committed to? Or is she smart for recognizing that it's not smart to place the chocolate cake in front of a kid whose trying to diet & whom already has enough temptations around him/her as it is?
These things are human nature/psychology. When a person is placed in an environment they are new to and/or that they see others actively following, things sometimes change. This is why I said not all men who end up cheating the night before their wedding did so in a pre-medidated manner. Sometimes a man doesn't realize he had another side until he's literally IN that moment. It's not about walking around & "worrying" about this; BUT it is wise to AT LEAST acknowledge & understand this theory of human psychology
I have comments on a lot of what is going around in here but am having a hard time wording it breifly. My difficulty comes in that while I have no inherent issue with a married person going to a strip club, it's not really my thing. I understand and support the ideas of avoiding questionable situations or even the impression of doing something wrong. We are then mixing this with the question of why people cheat and the impression that cheaters are merely victims of circumstance has been thrown around a few times. Next, comes the question if you can ever really trust another person. And all of this came from a question about bachelor parties!
I have trusted someone completely before and have been burned by it. I will not trust THAT person 100% again but I still trust other people. You should not trust everyone you meet 100% right off the bat, give them some rope and see if they hang themselves. Some amount of trust is given freely, complete trust has to be earned.
They will use that line as long as people accept it as a valid response. It is an easy solution to a difficult situation. The fact that they are in the situation shows that they have integrity issues, do you really expect them to shine when it comes time to defend those issues? And if 1/2 the guys don't trust themselves you shouldn't trust them, find one of the guys in the other half who have earned our own trust. When you say "Never say never"... I trust myself enough that I am can say "I have never cheated and never will".
I have trusted someone completely before and have been burned by it. I will not trust THAT person 100% again but I still trust other people. You should not trust everyone you meet 100% right off the bat, give them some rope and see if they hang themselves. Some amount of trust is given freely, complete trust has to be earned.
Posted by krysrenee7
Sure, it's not right & is a cop-out but that doesn't change that men are still ACTIVELY using the same lines & repeating this behavior. If half of the MEN on this planet don't even trust themsevles in certain environments, then why should I?
They will use that line as long as people accept it as a valid response. It is an easy solution to a difficult situation. The fact that they are in the situation shows that they have integrity issues, do you really expect them to shine when it comes time to defend those issues? And if 1/2 the guys don't trust themselves you shouldn't trust them, find one of the guys in the other half who have earned our own trust. When you say "Never say never"... I trust myself enough that I am can say "I have never cheated and never will".
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Arg I had to bring this out somewhere... My dad went back to his country about 15 months ago. He decided to go back b
So your boyfriend cheats on you....what would u find to be the appropriate steps to be taken against thee? I would ta
I've been talking to two guys from online. Started texting them. Been on a date with one of them already. Not the most a
9 Signs You've Met The One The person you're dating is funny, kind and all around a good person. But is he or she The
Honestly how do you guys feel about it, Do you guys have success stories from it. Do you any cool maybe free dating sit
Ok, so there's this website called BEAUTIFULPEOPLE.COM & people are freakin' PISSED about it. Here's why: 1. The on
What is a slut? Is it a female who is open to sex with or without a relationship? Is it a female who has had many se
I was thinking about being too nice as a weakness, and I'm not sure that it is. I see it as taking the high road, I ju
Every guy that is involved with the Pickup Community that honestly believes the mantra of Looks aren't that important
I met a boy online. I like him a whole bunch. It's a LDR situation and will be some time before we can permanently clo
.. is what a straight man would 'say' he thinks if his woman slept with another woman. But, is this a lie? Let
1. Do you agree with the statistics that claim men who engage in Bachelor parties are 86% more likely to cheat during and/or after the party, OR
2. Are you leaning more towards the creed that says most women should have no worries?
If you are FOR Bachelor parties:
1. What are the limits/boundaries you'd establish with your man/fiance, if any at all?
2. Would it matter WHERE the bachelor party was OR WHO was attending? (For example, would it matter if the party was at a strip club vs. a hotel room or pool hall?)
3. Would your comfort level depend on what all you know/details about the bachelor party?
If you are NAY for Bachelor parties:
1. Why not?
2. Have any of you had any bad experiences yourself or known anyone, with whom this kind of party backfired on them/their relationship?
And lastly, what do you guys feel is the DIFFERENCE b/w men having Bachelor parties & women having Bachelorette parties, if there are even any difference?