Bad Relationship Advice

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CocoKat
@CocoKat
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Something Ive discovered, a reoccurring pattern Ive noticed not only on this site but on other astro (and non-astro) sites is the following scenario.... Girl is crazy about guy, Guy may or may not be interested but Girl makes it VERY clear she is interested. Once her level of interest is "out" Guy disappears. Girl is left heartbroken looking for advice. Usually other guys tell her to hold out hes probly crazy for her, some other females do the same stupidly. Meanwhile girl is left in a holding pattern till she cant take it anymore then contacts the guy, usually repeatedly. Guy disappears AGAIN... and usually resurfaces months later if at all while girl is left in some Neptunian fantasy being told "hes crazy for you, just busy" or "hes sick" or "hes confused" etc...ad nauseum.

Everyone EXPECTS the female to chase the male now and when it doesn't work she is told to chase harder with no consequence of her feelings and how bad she looks in the scenario.


Whats up with this butter?




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truecap
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Posted by PsychoAries
Posted by truecap
Crazy. Literally crazy.

And I get looked down upon because I'm one of those that constantly tell them to move on.



This. Disappearing is NOT okay. Short periods of course. Actual real life events which cause the disappearance sure. But just going in and out strategically, or because you just don't value that person enough to be up front. FUCK THAT
click to expand




Yep.
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Magenta_Azure
@Magenta_Azure
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Sounds like someones been scoping the Scorpio section? 😉

I too think its bullshit to be put on the backburner because the person youre interested in is too much of a coward to say they aren't interested . Its almost abusive to treat someone that way. "He's probably busy", "he just needs some space", "all ____ do this. Its a common trait" are all bullshit excuses to cover up the fact that the girl is dating an inconsiderate piece of horseshit. How hard is it to respond to a simple email/text/phone call? Technology has made it terribly easy for us to communicate with one another so there is no excuse as to why a guy isn't getting back to you other than him being a spineless, inconsiderate coward that uses people until he's ready to casually move onto the next with no regard for how the previous feelings. I dont even think that's astrology, that's more like sociology or something. Either way, i never think its okay to be put on hold for some underevolved asshole.


MOVE ON GURH. HE AIN'T WORF ET.
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Magenta_Azure
@Magenta_Azure
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Posted by Arielle83
Don't people date a lot of ppl when they're single? It isn't strategic to focus on one person who's a 'maybe' anyways. Plus then you've got more options and better gene pool for mate selection.

I'm not talking about sleeping with everyone. I'm talking dating.




That's the thing. Its not even about dating of having a pool of better mates. Its about respect and communication.

Respect me enough to communicate that you are dating other people and are no longer interested in me. Respect me enough to let me know you dont want to see me anymore. Its about respecting that youre involving yourself with a complex human being that has feeling that deserve to be considered before you cut them off like they never existed to being with..

RESPECT.
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Magenta_Azure
@Magenta_Azure
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Posted by Arielle83
But I'm saying, why aren't the women in these situations not dating other people as well?




A lot of men LIE. Feed women bs and convince them that dating others isn't necessary. Want to know why men lie? Because our society has created a threshold in which men CAN lie and get away with it. Thats why when a man cheats it is automatically his wife/Girlfriends fault. "You should have done more", "be sexy sometimes" blah blah blah. Society has created a culture in which men dont have to take responsibility for what they do. Women do. As a result, we have a women doubting themselves as human beings because no one holds men responsible for how they treat people. Its always some unfounded "its in our genes", "its natural for men to do that" inatead of, "how about you treat people the way you want to be treated and grow the fuck up". I do agree that women should date other men, however, i.also firmly believe that men should stop abusing womens trust and using our sexuality as a means of manipulating in or out of a relationship.
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CocoKat
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Posted by PsychoAries
Posted by truecap
Crazy. Literally crazy.

And I get looked down upon because I'm one of those that constantly tell them to move on.



This. Disappearing is NOT okay. Short periods of course. Actual real life events which cause the disappearance sure. But just going in and out strategically, or because you just don't value that person enough to be up front. FUCK THAT
click to expand




yeah, I feel like sometimes it seems like the guy likes to keep his options open in regards to attention, sex and friendship and that outweighs his option to formally, officially end things to spare the feelings of the other party... its quite abusive actually, the girl is waiting on a "hook"
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CocoKat
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Posted by tiziani
Most, if not all people, who post their problems here have already decided what they are going to do anyway.


The advice is really just incidental.


At best they will chose the posts that help them to come to terms with their own decision. But you know funnily enough not everyone who posts their problems is looking for advice, a lot of people just jump in with the assumption that advice is what's needed.



perhaps this is true...validation for wishful thinking to make the most obvious of stupid decisions seem acceptable.
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CocoKat
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Posted by Magenta_Azure
Sounds like someones been scoping the Scorpio section? 😉

I too think its bullshit to be put on the backburner because the person youre interested in is too much of a coward to say they aren't interested . Its almost abusive to treat someone that way. "He's probably busy", "he just needs some space", "all ____ do this. Its a common trait" are all bullshit excuses to cover up the fact that the girl is dating an inconsiderate piece of horseshit. How hard is it to respond to a simple email/text/phone call? Technology has made it terribly easy for us to communicate with one another so there is no excuse as to why a guy isn't getting back to you other than him being a spineless, inconsiderate coward that uses people until he's ready to casually move onto the next with no regard for how the previous feelings. I dont even think that's astrology, that's more like sociology or something. Either way, i never think its okay to be put on hold for some underevolved asshole.


MOVE ON GURH. HE AIN'T WORF ET.



haha no, not just the scorpio section but cancer, Taurus, virgo, aries....etc.

If its not spineless, its definitely deliberate mean and underevolved.
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CocoKat
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Posted by Arielle83
Don't people date a lot of ppl when they're single? It isn't strategic to focus on one person who's a 'maybe' anyways. Plus then you've got more options and better gene pool for mate selection.

I'm not talking about sleeping with everyone. I'm talking dating.



Technically I agree with your post Arielle83, but I think a lot of women (myself included) tend to get into one person at a time. Well Im partnered now so Im speaking from past experiences.
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CocoKat
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Posted by Magenta_Azure
Posted by Arielle83
But I'm saying, why aren't the women in these situations not dating other people as well?




A lot of men LIE. Feed women bs and convince them that dating others isn't necessary. Want to know why men lie? Because our society has created a threshold in which men CAN lie and get away with it. Thats why when a man cheats it is automatically his wife/Girlfriends fault. "You should have done more", "be sexy sometimes" blah blah blah. Society has created a culture in which men dont have to take responsibility for what they do. Women do. As a result, we have a women doubting themselves as human beings because no one holds men responsible for how they treat people. Its always some unfounded "its in our genes", "its natural for men to do that" inatead of, "how about you treat people the way you want to be treated and grow the fuck up". I do agree that women should date other men, however, i.also firmly believe that men should stop abusing womens trust and using our sexuality as a means of manipulating in or out of a relationship.
click to expand




Yes, I agree with this assessment 100% . Good Observation.
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Magenta_Azure
@Magenta_Azure
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Posted by Arielle83


Well don't go in blindly. Don't trust just because someone says so. Hold your heart back. I've never believed anyone right off the bat. Everyone puts their best face forward and soon weeks and months later the real person is revealed. I would never believe some guy would drop everything and just focus on me right away. Men and women can treat each other like shit, but you've got it down that it's 'MEN'. Maybe you should back off a bit and refocus yourself because it doesn't sound like you expect anything less than what you've just described. Someone you're casually dating doesn't owe you anything. If you want to know the parameters first, then ask. Some people just date to meet ppl and have a good time. A relationship isn't always the end goals.

Too many women on here seem to give theirselves away so quickly to someone that clearly isn't giving you the okay to do that. The fact that ppl are confused by behaviour is because it doesn't add up to what they expect. There are already expectations. The woman has them in this situation and the man hasn't reached that point yet. And that is when you should move on because you can't make someone feel what you want them to feel.

If some guy cheats and blames it on the woman? Well that sounds like some ignorant Steve Harvey bullshit. Who wants a man with no integrity? Just walk away. You don't owe him your anger, because a person that stupid wouldn't even see what they did wrong.




Even with this post, youre putting all the blame on women. Why should i have to hold myself back or wait? How come men (or those in question) are not being held accountable for their attitudes and actions towards women? Im not a fool, but im also not the type of person that enters a friendship or courtship assuming that the person is lying or puttting in a front. How calculated and fake is that? I go into a courtship the same way anyone, man or woman, should. I am open, up front, and honest. If a man decides to take my honesty and use it against me, that doesn't mean im naive or expecting too much out of him, it means he's a piece of shit that enjoys hurting and manipulating people's trust. All that other stuff is bullshit. If someone cant enter in to a courtship with honest intentions: FUCK THEM. Im not about to change my mannerisms to accommodate the fact that there are shitty men out there. People need to st
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Magenta_Azure
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Posted by Arielle83
You're making it about men versus women. I'm saying no person should put their trust and heart on the line for anyone they just meet.

That's the cancer in me. Listen and watch first, trust later. If you want to go all in then do it. But if someone doesn't feel the way you do then you can't demonize them. Nobody owes anyone anything until an actual commitment is verbalized.



Well I have venus in Aries and a Pisces sun. Meaning, i dont fuck around when it comes to love and how people feel. I dont have an "all ir nothing attitude" and, once again, im not naive, but im also nit about to correct myself to accommodate someone else's shitty behavior. I want honesty and respect always.
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CocoKat
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Posted by Magenta_Azure
op accommodating the fucked up ways men act and put the responsibility of being a decent, honest human being back on them. Fuck calculating a trist. Be honest or be gone!



I strongly agree with this, where I live.. men are treated like Gods (and act like morons), women are blamed for everything and shoulder the responsibility far more than necessary, its like a stagnation in consciousness birthing the current pua and seduction communities which foster this kind of hatred and abuse we see all over the forums. I waited to have sex with my partner but he wouldn't have left if I hadn't, its his level of consciousness that's what attracted me, he would NEVER blame women for having sex with him right away and wouldn't even dream to play with a womans feelings either. Im happy to have him in my life. I think I would be single forever in the current climate had I not.
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CocoKat
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Posted by Arielle83
You're making it about men versus women. I'm saying no person should put their trust and heart on the line for anyone they just meet.

That's the cancer in me. Listen and watch first, trust later. If you want to go all in then do it. But if someone doesn't feel the way you do then you can't demonize them. Nobody owes anyone anything until an actual commitment is verbalized.



Thans for verbalizing this.. I also think its important for an actual commitment to be verbalized in relationship, however there is no excuse for leading someone on, disappearing, playing with someones emotions etc.
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Magenta_Azure
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Posted by CocoKat
Posted by Magenta_Azure
op accommodating the fucked up ways men act and put the responsibility of being a decent, honest human being back on them. Fuck calculating a trist. Be honest or be gone!



I strongly agree with this, where I live.. men are treated like Gods (and act like morons), women are blamed for everything and shoulder the responsibility far more than necessary, its like a stagnation in consciousness birthing the current pua and seduction communities which foster this kind of hatred and abuse we see all over the forums. I waited to have sex with my partner but he wouldn't have left if I hadn't, its his level of consciousness that's what attracted me, he would NEVER blame women for having sex with him right away and wouldn't even dream to play with a womans feelings either. Im happy to have him in my life. I think I would be single forever in the current climate had I not.
click to expand





He sounds like a dreeeeaaaaammmmm. Youre so lucky to have found a socially concious man. Hoping ill find one in sociology class 😉


P.s. sorry for taking over your thread! Im leaving! Lol
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CocoKat
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Posted by size zero superhero
The abundance of lousy relationship advice is in part due to certain responders unconsciously projecting their own low expectations/unfortunate dating experiences onto others. The reasoning is "since I accept utter nonsense & subpar treatment in my love life, shouldn't everyone else, too?" Obvious answer is no, but a lot of the poor advisers in question seemingly lack the self-awareness and/or self-esteem to acknowledge as much.

😄



what an interesting perspective, Thanks for sharing.
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CocoKat
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Posted by Arielle83
Posted by CocoKat
Posted by Arielle83
You're making it about men versus women. I'm saying no person should put their trust and heart on the line for anyone they just meet.

That's the cancer in me. Listen and watch first, trust later. If you want to go all in then do it. But if someone doesn't feel the way you do then you can't demonize them. Nobody owes anyone anything until an actual commitment is verbalized.



Thans for verbalizing this.. I also think its important for an actual commitment to be verbalized in relationship, however there is no excuse for leading someone on, disappearing, playing with someones emotions etc.


Ya I agree a lot of women do focus on one at a time, but men don't. Or they don't as much. So the problem exists between those two variables.
click to expand




YES! Omg Yes! Very true. Most guys are dating or courting quite a few women at the same time and can carry a torch for more than one at a time, I still feel that shouldn't be an excuse as to leading someone on or playing with their emotions but it does count.
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CocoKat
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Posted by Magenta_Azure
Posted by CocoKat
Posted by Magenta_Azure
op accommodating the fucked up ways men act and put the responsibility of being a decent, honest human being back on them. Fuck calculating a trist. Be honest or be gone!



I strongly agree with this, where I live.. men are treated like Gods (and act like morons), women are blamed for everything and shoulder the responsibility far more than necessary, its like a stagnation in consciousness birthing the current pua and seduction communities which foster this kind of hatred and abuse we see all over the forums. I waited to have sex with my partner but he wouldn't have left if I hadn't, its his level of consciousness that's what attracted me, he would NEVER blame women for having sex with him right away and wouldn't even dream to play with a womans feelings either. Im happy to have him in my life. I think I would be single forever in the current climate had I not.




He sounds like a dreeeeaaaaammmmm. Youre so lucky to have found a socially concious man. Hoping ill find one in sociology class 😉


P.s. sorry for taking over your thread! Im leaving! Lol
click to expand




No, no worries.. you're not taking over my thread. I think it helps my partner isn't American lol. Thanks for the good wishes... I do feel lucky.
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FirstDecanTaurianWoman0428
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Yeah I give advice on the same shit and kick myself in the ass later. I am one of those types where I am a one man women. I don't date too many and I don't have sex with multiple guys while so called dating? I will ride whatever it is til I can't take it and I have mentioned it before. I yet to feel I need more from you to communicate to with.
Why do I have initiate everything I can't just open up, because if I do some emotions get involved.. Don't tell me I have attitude because your the social one and I am opposite of you. I am just as busy and independent as you are and why can't you make time as I do. In fact you can't handle me. I think we should be friends than enemies..There are certain people I am trying to be open minded with.. Like I don't want to fight and argee and get in your face.. I will hold all my frustrations and go smoke a cigarette and vent to myself or my brother and maybe some co workers.
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CocoKat
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Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Yeah I give advice on the same shit and kick myself in the ass later. I am one of those types where I am a one man women. I don't date too many and I don't have sex with multiple guys while so called dating? I will ride whatever it is til I can't take it and I have mentioned it before. I yet to feel I need more from you to communicate to with.
Why do I have initiate everything I can't just open up, because if I do some emotions get involved.. Don't tell me I have attitude because your the social one and I am opposite of you. I am just as busy and independent as you are and why can't you make time as I do. In fact you can't handle me. I think we should be friends than enemies..There are certain people I am trying to be open minded with.. Like I don't want to fight and argee and get in your face.. I will hold all my frustrations and go smoke a cigarette and vent to myself or my brother and maybe some co workers.




You've got a lot of deep emotions.. I sense a backstory here...lol.

It does amaze me at how guys are wired different emotionally , can be very very frustrating, I am very sensitive and though I never slept around I had my emotions played on quite a bit when I was younger. I realized that Im a highly sensitive person and instead of trying to control the other person, outcome of situations etc. I began to develop my logical thinking skills. Not to say Im not overcome by intense emotions but I try and find other ways to express them (working with abused animals, the underprivileged, charities, friendships etc) in ways where they are needed. I also exercise, do a lot of yoga and eat in non-violent ways (not too much meat or dairy, though I love both) I hope that makes sense.
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by CocoKat
Posted by tiziani
And seriously, what is a "holding pattern"?



Im not sure if this is a typical libra flip-flop following your last response, but I'll assume that you are one of those guys giving bad advice solely from this question.


.
Right, but what is a holding pattern?
click to expand


when one put's their life on hold for one person in the hopes that this one person will change and decide that they want a serious monogamous relationship.
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FirstDecanTaurianWoman0428
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Hm I did the holding pattern already back when I was 19-25 years old..never again I told myself. Hmm 8 years later another Aries but this time, he quiet, shy, and doesn't speak unless someone else does..cause he gave me that melting looking. I didn't let that bother me. Haha. Poker face..now the longer I fucking wait for one damn call and one damn date.the longer we both feel like just mutually being friends. He and I see each other personality in a professional outlook. That's all I need is all our conversation at work instead of dinner somewhere. lol another Aries
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LibraSid
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Posted by VenusStar
Posted by tiziani
Posted by CocoKat
Posted by tiziani
And seriously, what is a "holding pattern"?



Im not sure if this is a typical libra flip-flop following your last response, but I'll assume that you are one of those guys giving bad advice solely from this question.


.
Right, but what is a holding pattern?

when one put's their life on hold for one person in the hopes that this one person will change and decide that they want a serious monogamous relationship.
click to expand




It's airport lingo. If a plan is coming in to land but the runway isn't ready (another plane, weather, whatever) the approaching plane is put into a holding pattern. They basically fly in circle waiting until the runway is ready.

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rockyroadicecream
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Posted by Magenta_Azure
Posted by Arielle83
But I'm saying, why aren't the women in these situations not dating other people as well?




A lot of men LIE. Feed women bs and convince them that dating others isn't necessary. Want to know why men lie? Because our society has created a threshold in which men CAN lie and get away with it. Thats why when a man cheats it is automatically his wife/Girlfriends fault. "You should have done more", "be sexy sometimes" blah blah blah. Society has created a culture in which men dont have to take responsibility for what they do. Women do. As a result, we have a women doubting themselves as human beings because no one holds men responsible for how they treat people. Its always some unfounded "its in our genes", "its natural for men to do that" inatead of, "how about you treat people the way you want to be treated and grow the fuck up". I do agree that women should date other men, however, i.also firmly believe that men should stop abusing womens trust and using our sexuality as a means of manipulating in or out of a relationship.
click to expand




+1

I've been saying this for years. There's a shit ton of naysayers on this website who enable like the examples given in the OP.

This is why you continually see a cycle of patterns in dating generation after generation.
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CocoKat
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Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by Magenta_Azure
Posted by Arielle83
But I'm saying, why aren't the women in these situations not dating other people as well?




A lot of men LIE. Feed women bs and convince them that dating others isn't necessary. Want to know why men lie? Because our society has created a threshold in which men CAN lie and get away with it. Thats why when a man cheats it is automatically his wife/Girlfriends fault. "You should have done more", "be sexy sometimes" blah blah blah. Society has created a culture in which men dont have to take responsibility for what they do. Women do. As a result, we have a women doubting themselves as human beings because no one holds men responsible for how they treat people. Its always some unfounded "its in our genes", "its natural for men to do that" inatead of, "how about you treat people the way you want to be treated and grow the fuck up". I do agree that women should date other men, however, i.also firmly believe that men should stop abusing womens trust and using our sexuality as a means of manipulating in or out of a relationship.



+1

I've been saying this for years. There's a shit ton of naysayers on this website who enable like the examples given in the OP.

This is why you continually see a cycle of patterns in dating generation after generation.
click to expand




Yes, so true.
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Noreallynow
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I agree with most of the things that was said. Dating is dating. It's basically saying, I want to get to know you better, let's hang out. Let's fuck, too. Lol. Same shit as friends with benefits. I don't want to be in a committed relationship with you, but I want to reap the same benefits.

I think lies that men tells, depends on the type of women that she is. If I'm dating a woman and I know she's dating more than me... I'll tell her the truth, shit im doing the same thing. Why lie to her. If I know she's the serious type. She's classy, very respectful...do you really think I'm going to tell her that dating(or fucking) other people? If I actually like her and I can see myself being with her, would that ruin my chances or would it help it? And if she never asks me about the others, is that lying to her? Most of the time people assume things without asking. If you want to know something, ask him. Do this in the beginning so you won't have to deal with the bullshit.

I'm not saying it's okay for men to lie and bullshit women. I absolutely hate it.
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CocoKat
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Posted by Noreallynow
I agree with most of the things that was said. Dating is dating. It's basically saying, I want to get to know you better, let's hang out. Let's fuck, too. Lol. Same shit as friends with benefits. I don't want to be in a committed relationship with you, but I want to reap the same benefits.

I think lies that men tells, depends on the type of women that she is. If I'm dating a woman and I know she's dating more than me... I'll tell her the truth, shit im doing the same thing. Why lie to her. If I know she's the serious type. She's classy, very respectful...do you really think I'm going to tell her that dating(or fucking) other people? If I actually like her and I can see myself being with her, would that ruin my chances or would it help it? And if she never asks me about the others, is that lying to her? Most of the time people assume things without asking. If you want to know something, ask him. Do this in the beginning so you won't have to deal with the bullshit.

I'm not saying it's okay for men to lie and bullshit women. I absolutely hate it.



All valid points here... I think that lying IN relationships and not taking accountability or responsibility is what the convo was referring too. I think there is nothing wrong with dating around and being opened to new possibilities as long as you're not leading on the other person (male or female). If you really like someone that doesn't mean they really like you in return. A lot of confusion happens on this board when the guy isn't really sure about HOW he feels so he does nothing and keeps the girl chasing and then maybe he likes the attention so it keeps going or he maybe he gets sex and he does it with a few women at a time, spinning plates. A real man would never lead a woman on like that he would be upfront. Im all for respectful behavior. And until you have a committed relationship SPOKEN then you're free to do as you choose.
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CocoKat
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and then there are the lying manipulative types rockyroadicecream pointed out above which this culture is so saturated with.. Im beginning to not care though, I just avoid them at this point in my life. they end up attracting dumb women with low self esteem they don't like all that much anyways they can practice their games and blameshifting techniques on. Water sinks to its own level.
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CocoKat
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Posted by Arielle83
Exactly. Don't assume anything. That's the issue. Men and women aren't the same. And don't put your all into something when someone doesn't value you as much as you value them. Why give someone that power?



yes, this is the problem a lot of young women put their emotions ALL on one person instead of being smart. Sadly usually that one person isn't doing the same back.
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FirstDecanTaurianWoman0428
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Sadly your right. And totally get the if he is interested in you, he will ask you...a guy knows what he wants, they just have to mess around beforehand. Testing the boundaries.. A women know what she wants and doesn't like the beforehand type. They like me and only me type right there.

I don't like spinning plates. I like hold still plates.
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Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Sadly your right. And totally get the if he is interested in you, he will ask you...a guy knows what he wants, they just have to mess around beforehand. Testing the boundaries.. A women know what she wants and doesn't like the beforehand type. They like me and only me type right there.

I don't like spinning plates. I like hold still plates.



Ive seen people who mess around beforehand.. testing boundaries like that is so disrespectful. I know a lot of ladies who do it too, its just so mean to lead someone on when you're not actually interested.
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AgentP911
@AgentP911
11 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by CocoKat
Posted by Magenta_Azure
op accommodating the fucked up ways men act and put the responsibility of being a decent, honest human being back on them. Fuck calculating a trist. Be honest or be gone!



I strongly agree with this, where I live.. men are treated like Gods (and act like morons), women are blamed for everything and shoulder the responsibility far more than necessary, its like a stagnation in consciousness birthing the current pua and seduction communities which foster this kind of hatred and abuse we see all over the forums. I waited to have sex with my partner but he wouldn't have left if I hadn't, its his level of consciousness that's what attracted me, he would NEVER blame women for having sex with him right away and wouldn't even dream to play with a womans feelings either. Im happy to have him in my life. I think I would be single forever in the current climate had I not.
click to expand




Awwww sounds like you have a nice fella there! Where are you that men are treated like Gods??
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P-Angel
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20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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Posted by CocoKat

Something Ive discovered, a reoccurring pattern Ive noticed not only on this site but on other astro (and non-astro) sites is the following scenario....

Everyone EXPECTS the female to chase the male now and when it doesn't work she is told to chase harder with no consequence of her feelings and how bad she looks in the scenario.






When in reality, the female is told the opposite, and there are no patterns as you have stated.


Posted by CocoKat

... communities which foster this kind of hatred and abuse we see all over the forums.

click to expand





Again .... this isn't seen.



You also went on to describe how you're a doormat, and instead of owning that you're fucked up, you make a whole deceptive scenario as a place for you to rant about how it's his fault because you're fucked up.

In reality ... women are NOT told or counseled to be a dumb ass. If you want to discuss an issue, then why not address it as such, rather than creating a false scene in where you say that ALL women are as stupid as you are.

Because they're not. It's just you.
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mz
@mz
11 Years

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Posted by Gobshite
Here's my take...

Most decent men have become sick and tired of becoming interested in one woman, dating her and (very soon) having to deal with her fickle nature (e.g. the 'I still can't get over my ex' syndrome, the female 'I've discovered one thing about you that doesn't meet my expectations' phenomenon, the 'because you're a man, you're supposed to do X and Y for me' attitude).

Such men will play the field and, very often, achieve more intimate success than if they've placed all their eggs into one basket (i.e. by being interested in just one woman and concentrating on her).

So, who's to blame? It's certainly not the men, on most occasions. Men have cottoned onto how cruel and fickle many women can be and are simply adapting to the situation. I would say that a majority of such men are actually wanting a stable relationship but, at some point, have said, "Fuck it!"

If you want things to change, look closer to home (preferably in a mirror).



you are perfectly right...
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
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(cropped to make room)
Posted by Gobshite
Here's my take...

Most decent men have become sick and tired of becoming interested in one woman, dating her and (very soon) having to deal with her fickle nature (e.g. the 'I still can't get over my ex' syndrome, the female 'I've discovered one thing about you that doesn't meet my expectations' phenomenon, the 'because you're a man, you're supposed to do X and Y for me' attitude).

....So, who's to blame? It's certainly not the men, on most occasions. ....





Most decent men fall for the Disney mindset, just as many decent women do.

Men are raised in a society that if they do x,y,z, that they WILL get the woman that they want. Not the woman that is most ideal for him, but the one he wants. So keep on being nice and be as appealing as you can be- she's what YOU want! Same goes for women- oh that guy you're into- poor thing is so complicated and needs understanding. Be his therapist and second mommy and he surely will see the light and realize you're the one?

Reality? A lot of decent guys are morons who fall for that fairytale bs that society tells guys. "You behave this way, you get what you want." One, there's blatant manipulation going on here. Two, ...some guys just chase after the wrong effing woman despite all the red flags. But he doesn't care. He wants this chick because she's hawt and makes his penis hard. He HAS to have her!! Nevermind she's a nutjob that should be avoided like the plague.

Oh, but he's burned. Boo hoo, he turns into a jaded ass and starts sleeping around until his penis falls off. But it's not his fault. It's HERS! He was entitled to the woman he wanted because he did certain things for her. Nevermind he ignored all the obvious signs she was bad for him.

With women, we're constantly told to tolerate stupid shit from guys. Society always implies there's some secret, deep seated reason why the guy is being a dick toward her. Poor thing just needs some understanding!! ...nevermind HE should be avoided like the plague. Guy is no good for her. BUT SHE MUST FIX HIM AND BE HIS SECOND MOMMY OHNOES.

Both just need to be ...smarter in dating, tbh. It's cute you think guys have no accountability and it's all women's fault. Both genders hold accountability in a lot of varying ways.

People just need to quit being fucking stupid about these types of things.
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