Bad Relationship Advice (Page 2)

Posted by tiziani
^Interesting. I'd never thought of it like that before.

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by rockyroadicecream

It's cute you think guys have no accountability and it's all women's fault. Both genders hold accountability in a lot of varying ways.

I don't ever recall saying that...

Most of the bullshit that goes on in dating is perpetuated by women, plain and simple. Both sexes need to choose carefully but it's the women who need to be extra careful, as they are the ones who usually allow a relationship to progress to one of intimacy. Women know this only too well, hence the mind games, cherry picking and 'buyer's remorse'.

Also, in my experience, women have a tendency of hiding their flaws better than men, hence why many men only see the red flags when it's too late. With most men, the red flags are usually apparent right away but women choose to ignore them (because he's funny, exciting, sexy, has a nice house, seems very popular, has many contacts, is wealthy, etc.).

The less jadded men there are, due to women's poor choices, the less doucebags there are for women to avoid. It's not rocket science. If men were still bashing women over their heads, with their clubs, and dragging them into their caves, your argument would've made a lot more sense. In most cases, a man can desire a woman but, ultimately, it's the woman who decides if the man is going to 'get some'.

And btw, most decent men aren't jadded after not getting ONE woman. This happens after continuously being disappointed and messed around by them, in one way or another.

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Posted by Gobshite

I don't ever recall saying that...

Most of the bullshit that goes on in dating is perpetuated by women, plain and simple. Both sexes need to choose carefully but it's the women who need to be extra careful, as they are the ones who usually allow a relationship to progress to one of intimacy. Women know this only too well, hence the mind games, cherry picking and 'buyer's remorse'.

Also, in my experience, women have a tendency of hiding their flaws better than men, hence why many men only see the red flags when it's too late. With most men, the red flags are usually apparent right away but women choose to ignore them (because he's funny, exciting, sexy, has a nice house, seems very popular, has many contacts, is wealthy, etc.).

The less jadded men there are, due to women's poor choices, the less doucebags there are for women to avoid. It's not rocket science. If men were still bashing women over their heads, with their clubs, and dragging them into their caves, your argument would've made a lot more sense. In most cases, a man can desire a woman but, ultimately, it's the woman who decides if the man is going to 'get some'.

And btw, most decent men aren't jadded after not getting ONE woman. This happens after continuously being disappointed and messed around by them, in one way or another.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Gobshite

I don't ever recall saying that...

Most of the bullshit that goes on in dating is perpetuated by women, plain and simple. Both sexes need to choose carefully but it's the women who need to be extra careful, as they are the ones who usually allow a relationship to progress to one of intimacy. Women know this only too well, hence the mind games, cherry picking and 'buyer's remorse'.

Also, in my experience, women have a tendency of hiding their flaws better than men, hence why many men only see the red flags when it's too late. With most men, the red flags are usually apparent right away but women choose to ignore them (because he's funny, exciting, sexy, has a nice house, seems very popular, has many contacts, is wealthy, etc.).

The less jadded men there are, due to women's poor choices, the less doucebags there are for women to avoid. It's not rocket science. If men were still bashing women over their heads, with their clubs, and dragging them into their caves, your argument would've made a lot more sense. In most cases, a man can desire a woman but, ultimately, it's the woman who decides if the man is going to 'get some'.

And btw, most decent men aren't jadded after not getting ONE woman. This happens after continuously being disappointed and messed around by them, in one way or another.

No. Just no. You clearly didn't comprehend anything I said. You're proving to be a great example of what I stated. Way to be a product of a patriarchal society, honey.

And it's "jaded." ...Not understanding why you continually misspell it when it's written correctly above.

Also, your experience does not trump something that has been observed on a general scale in dating and relating.

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Posted by size zero superhero
IMO those ~jaded~ men, that continuously chase chaotic dramatic women and/or cite them as the cause of their cynicism against women in their entirety; rarely if ever realize they keep encountering crazy females because they're ATTRACTED to said qualities. They thrive off the excitement, whether they know it or not, and don't object to it until the insanity backfires & turns on them(as opposed to turning them on!).

Posted by Gobshite
Here's my take...

Most decent men have become sick and tired of becoming interested in one woman, dating her and (very soon) having to deal with her fickle nature (e.g. the 'I still can't get over my ex' syndrome, the female 'I've discovered one thing about you that doesn't meet my expectations' phenomenon, the 'because you're a man, you're supposed to do X and Y for me' attitude).

Such men will play the field and, very often, achieve more intimate success than if they've placed all their eggs into one basket (i.e. by being interested in just one woman and concentrating on her).

So, who's to blame? It's certainly not the men, on most occasions. Men have cottoned onto how cruel and fickle many women can be and are simply adapting to the situation. I would say that a majority of such men are actually wanting a stable relationship but, at some point, have said, "Fuck it!"

If you want things to change, look closer to home (preferably in a mirror).

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
That's the problem with me..one man women. And I always tell my people that are interested this.. maybe that's the mistake...then now I am still the delusional one. Because they just might have the advantage.. but I won't change I'll still be who I represent that's a one man women.

Posted by mz

Posted by Gobshite
Here's my take...

Most decent men have become sick and tired of becoming interested in one woman, dating her and (very soon) having to deal with her fickle nature (e.g. the 'I still can't get over my ex' syndrome, the female 'I've discovered one thing about you that doesn't meet my expectations' phenomenon, the 'because you're a man, you're supposed to do X and Y for me' attitude).

Such men will play the field and, very often, achieve more intimate success than if they've placed all their eggs into one basket (i.e. by being interested in just one woman and concentrating on her).

So, who's to blame? It's certainly not the men, on most occasions. Men have cottoned onto how cruel and fickle many women can be and are simply adapting to the situation. I would say that a majority of such men are actually wanting a stable relationship but, at some point, have said, "Fuck it!"

If you want things to change, look closer to home (preferably in a mirror).

you are perfectly right...

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Posted by P-Angel

Posted by CocoKat

Something Ive discovered, a reoccurring pattern Ive noticed not only on this site but on other astro (and non-astro) sites is the following scenario....

Everyone EXPECTS the female to chase the male now and when it doesn't work she is told to chase harder with no consequence of her feelings and how bad she looks in the scenario.

When in reality, the female is told the opposite, and there are no patterns as you have stated.

Posted by CocoKat

... communities which foster this kind of hatred and abuse we see all over the forums.

Again .... this isn't seen.



You also went on to describe how you're a doormat, and instead of owning that you're fucked up, you make a whole deceptive scenario as a place for you to rant about how it's his fault because you're fucked up.

In reality ... women are NOT told or counseled to be a dumb ass. If you want to discuss an issue, then why not address it as such, rather than creating a false scene in where you say that ALL women are as stupid as you are.

Because they're not. It's just you.

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Posted by aurora

Posted by CocoKat
Something Ive discovered, a reoccurring pattern Ive noticed not only on this site but on other astro (and non-astro) sites is the following scenario.... Girl is crazy about guy, Guy may or may not be interested but Girl makes it VERY clear she is interested. Once her level of interest is "out" Guy disappears. Girl is left heartbroken looking for advice. Usually other guys tell her to hold out hes probly crazy for her, some other females do the same stupidly. Meanwhile girl is left in a holding pattern till she cant take it anymore then contacts the guy, usually repeatedly. Guy disappears AGAIN... and usually resurfaces months later if at all while girl is left in some Neptunian fantasy being told "hes crazy for you, just busy" or "hes sick" or "hes confused" etc...ad nauseum.

Everyone EXPECTS the female to chase the male now and when it doesn't work she is told to chase harder with no consequence of her feelings and how bad she looks in the scenario.


Whats up with this butter?

are we on the same site? i noticed quite the opposite. most of the advices are down to earth and imo sometimes too much. what i mean is sometimes people give me the impression that they can't wait to say dump him for whatever reason. like he talked to his ex, dump him, he is friends with her on fb dump him... but ok that's not the topic.

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Posted by lisabethur8
just be yourself.

don't allow those influences to tell you how to "act" and "do",

once you get into a REAL relationship, and you can't hold it "Up",

the jig is up.

you really need to just be yourself and the person that falls in love with you fell in love with you because of who you are, not what you're pretending to be.

but please, who listens to this bullshit anyway— it's like listening to your grandparents who mean well and wise in their ways. you'd think that because of the great WISDOM and seeing how others have been through out the decades that you'd listen—?


the reality is, people have DESIRES. so the words are like blowing in the wind constantly.

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by rockyroadicecream

It's cute you think guys have no accountability and it's all women's fault. Both genders hold accountability in a lot of varying ways.

I don't ever recall saying that...

Most of the bullshit that goes on in dating is perpetuated by women, plain and simple. Both sexes need to choose carefully but it's the women who need to be extra careful, as they are the ones who usually allow a relationship to progress to one of intimacy. Women know this only too well, hence the mind games, cherry picking and 'buyer's remorse'.

Also, in my experience, women have a tendency of hiding their flaws better than men, hence why many men only see the red flags when it's too late. With most men, the red flags are usually apparent right away but women choose to ignore them (because he's funny, exciting, sexy, has a nice house, seems very popular, has many contacts, is wealthy, etc.).

The less jadded men there are, due to women's poor choices, the less doucebags there are for women to avoid. It's not rocket science. If men were still bashing women over their heads, with their clubs, and dragging them into their caves, your argument would've made a lot more sense. In most cases, a man can desire a woman but, ultimately, it's the woman who decides if the man is going to 'get some'.

And btw, most decent men aren't jadded after not getting ONE woman. This happens after continuously being disappointed and messed around by them, in one way or another.

click to expand

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Gobshite

I don't ever recall saying that...

Most of the bullshit that goes on in dating is perpetuated by women, plain and simple. Both sexes need to choose carefully but it's the women who need to be extra careful, as they are the ones who usually allow a relationship to progress to one of intimacy. Women know this only too well, hence the mind games, cherry picking and 'buyer's remorse'.

Also, in my experience, women have a tendency of hiding their flaws better than men, hence why many men only see the red flags when it's too late. With most men, the red flags are usually apparent right away but women choose to ignore them (because he's funny, exciting, sexy, has a nice house, seems very popular, has many contacts, is wealthy, etc.).

The less jadded men there are, due to women's poor choices, the less doucebags there are for women to avoid. It's not rocket science. If men were still bashing women over their heads, with their clubs, and dragging them into their caves, your argument would've made a lot more sense. In most cases, a man can desire a woman but, ultimately, it's the woman who decides if the man is going to 'get some'.

And btw, most decent men aren't jadded after not getting ONE woman. This happens after continuously being disappointed and messed around by them, in one way or another.

No. Just no. You clearly didn't comprehend anything I said. You're proving to be a great example of what I stated. Way to be a product of a patriarchal society, honey.

And it's "jaded." ...Not understanding why you continually misspell it when it's written correctly above.

Also, your experience does not trump something that has been observed on a general scale in dating and relating.

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Posted by Damnata
Just reading through it makes me tired. Simplicity is key for me.

That being said..the dynamic between two people is still the dynamic between them. We can't look in it from an observer point of view and understand everything. We give our opinions, right or wrong and whatever hits close to home..they take on board. Their right to do so. So I don't see it as good/bad advice..rather things that make one think vs things that are easily discarded.

What we perceive is slanted and not to the heart/essence of things.

Sometimes that dynamic takes a shape of its own..where you see unconventional mindsets and lifepaths and relationships. As long as the rapport between two people is genuine, whatever happens between them in the spectrum of variables..cannot be controlled by either party. Genuine people find each other in the end and even if it ends..they do not part with hatred or anger or anything. They cherish the life experience for what it was. An open heart will embrace possibility, no matter how many times it has gone astray/deluded. I'd rather approach with that than draw on my past behavior and strategize everything. I'm prone to overthinking so whatever keeps me from overthinking is a breath of fresh air.

If someone wanders into my life and I learn something from it or I have fond moments to link to them..even when they part, their company was valuable for me and I'm happy I had the opportunity to walk with them for a while.

We place so much emphasis on who chases whom and in the big picture..I don't see it as important. Logistics of dating

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by Magenta_Azure

+1,000,000,000

You dont get to treat women any ol type of way cuz your coward ass has been hurt or played in the past. Women arent toys that you judge and play with until you're done. We're people that deserve respect (even if you dont think so). If a guy doesn't like how a woman acts or doesnt think shes "classy"/respectable it doesn't give him the right to mistreat her, it gives him the opportunity to move the fuck on.

Some motherfuckers need to grow up!!!!

Someone needs to take their medication...

Don't make me laugh! Women are just as bad, if not worse, usually up to the point when they're fretting over their biological clocks.

Watch out! Shards of glass are raining down on you...

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Posted by CocoKat

Posted by size zero superhero
IMO those ~jaded~ men, that continuously chase chaotic dramatic women and/or cite them as the cause of their cynicism against women in their entirety; rarely if ever realize they keep encountering crazy females because they're ATTRACTED to said qualities. They thrive off the excitement, whether they know it or not, and don't object to it until the insanity backfires & turns on them(as opposed to turning them on!).

YESSSSSSS!!!!!! Thank You.. Madonna/w---- complex.

its not OK abuse the chaotic, dramatic women, just because you are attracted to that bullbutter doesn't give you a right to be an asshole to them.

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Posted by size zero superhero
IMO those ~jaded~ men, that continuously chase chaotic dramatic women and/or cite them as the cause of their cynicism against women in their entirety; rarely if ever realize they keep encountering crazy females because they're ATTRACTED to said qualities. They thrive off the excitement, whether they know it or not, and don't object to it until the insanity backfires & turns on them(as opposed to turning them on!).

Posted by CocoKat

Posted by size zero superhero
IMO those ~jaded~ men, that continuously chase chaotic dramatic women and/or cite them as the cause of their cynicism against women in their entirety; rarely if ever realize they keep encountering crazy females because they're ATTRACTED to said qualities. They thrive off the excitement, whether they know it or not, and don't object to it until the insanity backfires & turns on them(as opposed to turning them on!).

Or perhaps these are the "typical irrational women" that Gobwhatever referred to...lol.

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Posted by Magenta_Azure

Posted by Arielle83
But I'm saying, why aren't the women in these situations not dating other people as well?

A lot of men LIE. Feed women bs and convince them that dating others isn't necessary. Want to know why men lie?

Because our society has created a threshold in which men CAN lie and get away with it.


Thats why when a man cheats it is automatically his wife/Girlfriends fault. "You should have done more", "be sexy sometimes" blah blah blah. Society has created a culture in which men dont have to take responsibility for what they do. Women do. As a result, we have a women doubting themselves as human beings because no one holds men responsible for how they treat people. Its always some unfounded "its in our genes", "its natural for men to do that" inatead of, "how about you treat people the way you want to be treated and grow the fuck up". I do agree that women should date other men, however, i.also firmly believe that men should stop abusing womens trust and using our sexuality as a means of manipulating in or out of a relationship.

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Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by CocoKat

Posted by size zero superhero
IMO those ~jaded~ men, that continuously chase chaotic dramatic women and/or cite them as the cause of their cynicism against women in their entirety; rarely if ever realize they keep encountering crazy females because they're ATTRACTED to said qualities. They thrive off the excitement, whether they know it or not, and don't object to it until the insanity backfires & turns on them(as opposed to turning them on!).

Or perhaps these are the "typical irrational women" that Gobwhatever referred to...lol.

Dude, some guys are just total morons in the women they choose. I say this having seen many guy friends do this and then turn right around and go on this victim rampage like Gobshite has been doing.

They chase easy girls, dumb girls (who were easy), strippers, drug whores, etc. None were really what most sane people would consider quality dating material. But because this is who they chased after and kept getting ditched or burned by, they get all cranky and blame all of them for their lack of foresight in these situations.

It all boils down to them leading with their dick (hormones) and not with logic. Hell, go check out that tool in the Aries forum. He's bitching that he's not getting the pussy he thinks he's entitled to because of some drivel a girl told him when she was drunk. Because she doesn't remember/won't follow through on such a stupid, inebriated comment, he's pissed and feels misled. Nevermind she's in a relationship. But he's downright angry and saying bad things about her because she won't fuck him. Pure and utter entitlement. THAT is the bs that I see too often with some of these blameshifting whiner dudes. Use some common sense and take some accountability. It's absolutely disturbing that this behavior is coming in waves from the under 25 crowd. Utter entitlement to women's bodies. This is that whole Disney bs I was referring to with guys.

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Posted by size zero superhero

Posted by rockyroadicecream
YES, THERE ALSO ARE WOMEN WHO ARE EQUALLY STUPID IN DATING.

Indeed.
The parallel version of men doggedly pursuing obvious unstable loons mainly 'cause they perceive it as a guarantee of uninhibited, insane sex; are women who get dragged thru the mud & ultimately lose themselves in the name of aspiring to be The Chosen One to ~tame a player~(AKA promiscuous guy without any apparent intent of submitting to misguided gal's "plan" to tweak his sexual habits to her liking).

Dude might play along for a minute, but once the inevitable happens & the revered piece of Community D!ck gets caught indulging in their typical pattern of, well, servicing the community...then it's "oh no he's running game on ME? How COULD he!?" meanwhile in reality, others knew exactly what was in store.
On the rare occasion that an aspiring hopeful succeeds in reforming a notorious manslvt, it's safe to reason that the ex-sexhound in question settled down on their own accord--rather than because someone came along & magically converted them with their exquisite charm & superior abilities. LOL.

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Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Magenta_Azure

Posted by Arielle83
But I'm saying, why aren't the women in these situations not dating other people as well?

A lot of men LIE. Feed women bs and convince them that dating others isn't necessary. Want to know why men lie?

Because our society has created a threshold in which men CAN lie and get away with it.


Thats why when a man cheats it is automatically his wife/Girlfriends fault. "You should have done more", "be sexy sometimes" blah blah blah. Society has created a culture in which men dont have to take responsibility for what they do. Women do. As a result, we have a women doubting themselves as human beings because no one holds men responsible for how they treat people. Its always some unfounded "its in our genes", "its natural for men to do that" inatead of, "how about you treat people the way you want to be treated and grow the fuck up". I do agree that women should date other men, however, i.also firmly believe that men should stop abusing womens trust and using our sexuality as a means of manipulating in or out of a relationship.

Sure men lie-- but I don't buy this ^ rationale.




Women encourage (or create) the "culture in which men don't

have to take responsibility" because they either aren't holding

them accountable or they aren't behaving responsibly, themselves.


I think it's mostly the latter, tbh.

~

takes

two

to

TANGO

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