CocoKat
@CocoKat
10 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 1295 · Topics: 10

Posted by truecap
Crazy. Literally crazy.
And I get looked down upon because I'm one of those that constantly tell them to move on.

Posted by PsychoAriesPosted by truecap
Crazy. Literally crazy.
And I get looked down upon because I'm one of those that constantly tell them to move on.
This. Disappearing is NOT okay. Short periods of course. Actual real life events which cause the disappearance sure. But just going in and out strategically, or because you just don't value that person enough to be up front. FUCK THATclick to expand


Posted by Arielle83
Don't people date a lot of ppl when they're single? It isn't strategic to focus on one person who's a 'maybe' anyways. Plus then you've got more options and better gene pool for mate selection.
I'm not talking about sleeping with everyone. I'm talking dating.

Posted by Arielle83
But I'm saying, why aren't the women in these situations not dating other people as well?
Posted by truecap
Crazy. Literally crazy.
And I get looked down upon because I'm one of those that constantly tell them to move on.
Posted by PsychoAriesPosted by truecap
Crazy. Literally crazy.
And I get looked down upon because I'm one of those that constantly tell them to move on.
This. Disappearing is NOT okay. Short periods of course. Actual real life events which cause the disappearance sure. But just going in and out strategically, or because you just don't value that person enough to be up front. FUCK THATclick to expand
Posted by tiziani
Most, if not all people, who post their problems here have already decided what they are going to do anyway.
The advice is really just incidental.
At best they will chose the posts that help them to come to terms with their own decision. But you know funnily enough not everyone who posts their problems is looking for advice, a lot of people just jump in with the assumption that advice is what's needed.
Posted by tiziani
And seriously, what is a "holding pattern"?
Posted by Magenta_Azure
Sounds like someones been scoping the Scorpio section? 😉
I too think its bullshit to be put on the backburner because the person youre interested in is too much of a coward to say they aren't interested . Its almost abusive to treat someone that way. "He's probably busy", "he just needs some space", "all ____ do this. Its a common trait" are all bullshit excuses to cover up the fact that the girl is dating an inconsiderate piece of horseshit. How hard is it to respond to a simple email/text/phone call? Technology has made it terribly easy for us to communicate with one another so there is no excuse as to why a guy isn't getting back to you other than him being a spineless, inconsiderate coward that uses people until he's ready to casually move onto the next with no regard for how the previous feelings. I dont even think that's astrology, that's more like sociology or something. Either way, i never think its okay to be put on hold for some underevolved asshole.
MOVE ON GURH. HE AIN'T WORF ET.
Posted by Arielle83
Don't people date a lot of ppl when they're single? It isn't strategic to focus on one person who's a 'maybe' anyways. Plus then you've got more options and better gene pool for mate selection.
I'm not talking about sleeping with everyone. I'm talking dating.
Posted by Magenta_AzurePosted by Arielle83
But I'm saying, why aren't the women in these situations not dating other people as well?
A lot of men LIE. Feed women bs and convince them that dating others isn't necessary. Want to know why men lie? Because our society has created a threshold in which men CAN lie and get away with it. Thats why when a man cheats it is automatically his wife/Girlfriends fault. "You should have done more", "be sexy sometimes" blah blah blah. Society has created a culture in which men dont have to take responsibility for what they do. Women do. As a result, we have a women doubting themselves as human beings because no one holds men responsible for how they treat people. Its always some unfounded "its in our genes", "its natural for men to do that" inatead of, "how about you treat people the way you want to be treated and grow the fuck up". I do agree that women should date other men, however, i.also firmly believe that men should stop abusing womens trust and using our sexuality as a means of manipulating in or out of a relationship.click to expand

Posted by Arielle83
Well don't go in blindly. Don't trust just because someone says so. Hold your heart back. I've never believed anyone right off the bat. Everyone puts their best face forward and soon weeks and months later the real person is revealed. I would never believe some guy would drop everything and just focus on me right away. Men and women can treat each other like shit, but you've got it down that it's 'MEN'. Maybe you should back off a bit and refocus yourself because it doesn't sound like you expect anything less than what you've just described. Someone you're casually dating doesn't owe you anything. If you want to know the parameters first, then ask. Some people just date to meet ppl and have a good time. A relationship isn't always the end goals.
Too many women on here seem to give theirselves away so quickly to someone that clearly isn't giving you the okay to do that. The fact that ppl are confused by behaviour is because it doesn't add up to what they expect. There are already expectations. The woman has them in this situation and the man hasn't reached that point yet. And that is when you should move on because you can't make someone feel what you want them to feel.
If some guy cheats and blames it on the woman? Well that sounds like some ignorant Steve Harvey bullshit. Who wants a man with no integrity? Just walk away. You don't owe him your anger, because a person that stupid wouldn't even see what they did wrong.


Posted by Arielle83
You're making it about men versus women. I'm saying no person should put their trust and heart on the line for anyone they just meet.
That's the cancer in me. Listen and watch first, trust later. If you want to go all in then do it. But if someone doesn't feel the way you do then you can't demonize them. Nobody owes anyone anything until an actual commitment is verbalized.
Posted by Magenta_Azure
op accommodating the fucked up ways men act and put the responsibility of being a decent, honest human being back on them. Fuck calculating a trist. Be honest or be gone!
Posted by Arielle83
You're making it about men versus women. I'm saying no person should put their trust and heart on the line for anyone they just meet.
That's the cancer in me. Listen and watch first, trust later. If you want to go all in then do it. But if someone doesn't feel the way you do then you can't demonize them. Nobody owes anyone anything until an actual commitment is verbalized.

Posted by CocoKatPosted by Magenta_Azure
op accommodating the fucked up ways men act and put the responsibility of being a decent, honest human being back on them. Fuck calculating a trist. Be honest or be gone!
I strongly agree with this, where I live.. men are treated like Gods (and act like morons), women are blamed for everything and shoulder the responsibility far more than necessary, its like a stagnation in consciousness birthing the current pua and seduction communities which foster this kind of hatred and abuse we see all over the forums. I waited to have sex with my partner but he wouldn't have left if I hadn't, its his level of consciousness that's what attracted me, he would NEVER blame women for having sex with him right away and wouldn't even dream to play with a womans feelings either. Im happy to have him in my life. I think I would be single forever in the current climate had I not.click to expand

Posted by size zero superhero
The abundance of lousy relationship advice is in part due to certain responders unconsciously projecting their own low expectations/unfortunate dating experiences onto others. The reasoning is "since I accept utter nonsense & subpar treatment in my love life, shouldn't everyone else, too?" Obvious answer is no, but a lot of the poor advisers in question seemingly lack the self-awareness and/or self-esteem to acknowledge as much.
😄
Posted by Arielle83Posted by CocoKatPosted by Arielle83
You're making it about men versus women. I'm saying no person should put their trust and heart on the line for anyone they just meet.
That's the cancer in me. Listen and watch first, trust later. If you want to go all in then do it. But if someone doesn't feel the way you do then you can't demonize them. Nobody owes anyone anything until an actual commitment is verbalized.
Thans for verbalizing this.. I also think its important for an actual commitment to be verbalized in relationship, however there is no excuse for leading someone on, disappearing, playing with someones emotions etc.
Ya I agree a lot of women do focus on one at a time, but men don't. Or they don't as much. So the problem exists between those two variables.click to expand
Posted by Magenta_AzurePosted by CocoKatPosted by Magenta_Azure
op accommodating the fucked up ways men act and put the responsibility of being a decent, honest human being back on them. Fuck calculating a trist. Be honest or be gone!
I strongly agree with this, where I live.. men are treated like Gods (and act like morons), women are blamed for everything and shoulder the responsibility far more than necessary, its like a stagnation in consciousness birthing the current pua and seduction communities which foster this kind of hatred and abuse we see all over the forums. I waited to have sex with my partner but he wouldn't have left if I hadn't, its his level of consciousness that's what attracted me, he would NEVER blame women for having sex with him right away and wouldn't even dream to play with a womans feelings either. Im happy to have him in my life. I think I would be single forever in the current climate had I not.
He sounds like a dreeeeaaaaammmmm. Youre so lucky to have found a socially concious man. Hoping ill find one in sociology class 😉
P.s. sorry for taking over your thread! Im leaving! Lolclick to expand

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Yeah I give advice on the same shit and kick myself in the ass later. I am one of those types where I am a one man women. I don't date too many and I don't have sex with multiple guys while so called dating? I will ride whatever it is til I can't take it and I have mentioned it before. I yet to feel I need more from you to communicate to with.
Why do I have initiate everything I can't just open up, because if I do some emotions get involved.. Don't tell me I have attitude because your the social one and I am opposite of you. I am just as busy and independent as you are and why can't you make time as I do. In fact you can't handle me. I think we should be friends than enemies..There are certain people I am trying to be open minded with.. Like I don't want to fight and argee and get in your face.. I will hold all my frustrations and go smoke a cigarette and vent to myself or my brother and maybe some co workers.

Posted by tizianiPosted by CocoKatPosted by tiziani
And seriously, what is a "holding pattern"?
Im not sure if this is a typical libra flip-flop following your last response, but I'll assume that you are one of those guys giving bad advice solely from this question.
.
Right, but what is a holding pattern?click to expand




Posted by VenusStarPosted by tizianiPosted by CocoKatPosted by tiziani
And seriously, what is a "holding pattern"?
Im not sure if this is a typical libra flip-flop following your last response, but I'll assume that you are one of those guys giving bad advice solely from this question.
.
Right, but what is a holding pattern?
when one put's their life on hold for one person in the hopes that this one person will change and decide that they want a serious monogamous relationship.click to expand

Posted by Magenta_AzurePosted by Arielle83
But I'm saying, why aren't the women in these situations not dating other people as well?
A lot of men LIE. Feed women bs and convince them that dating others isn't necessary. Want to know why men lie? Because our society has created a threshold in which men CAN lie and get away with it. Thats why when a man cheats it is automatically his wife/Girlfriends fault. "You should have done more", "be sexy sometimes" blah blah blah. Society has created a culture in which men dont have to take responsibility for what they do. Women do. As a result, we have a women doubting themselves as human beings because no one holds men responsible for how they treat people. Its always some unfounded "its in our genes", "its natural for men to do that" inatead of, "how about you treat people the way you want to be treated and grow the fuck up". I do agree that women should date other men, however, i.also firmly believe that men should stop abusing womens trust and using our sexuality as a means of manipulating in or out of a relationship.click to expand

Posted by CocoKatPosted by tiziani
And seriously, what is a "holding pattern"?
Im not sure if this is a typical libra flip-flop following your last response, but I'll assume that you are one of those guys giving bad advice solely from this question.click to expand
Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by Magenta_AzurePosted by Arielle83
But I'm saying, why aren't the women in these situations not dating other people as well?
A lot of men LIE. Feed women bs and convince them that dating others isn't necessary. Want to know why men lie? Because our society has created a threshold in which men CAN lie and get away with it. Thats why when a man cheats it is automatically his wife/Girlfriends fault. "You should have done more", "be sexy sometimes" blah blah blah. Society has created a culture in which men dont have to take responsibility for what they do. Women do. As a result, we have a women doubting themselves as human beings because no one holds men responsible for how they treat people. Its always some unfounded "its in our genes", "its natural for men to do that" inatead of, "how about you treat people the way you want to be treated and grow the fuck up". I do agree that women should date other men, however, i.also firmly believe that men should stop abusing womens trust and using our sexuality as a means of manipulating in or out of a relationship.
+1
I've been saying this for years. There's a shit ton of naysayers on this website who enable like the examples given in the OP.
This is why you continually see a cycle of patterns in dating generation after generation.click to expand
Posted by Noreallynow
I agree with most of the things that was said. Dating is dating. It's basically saying, I want to get to know you better, let's hang out. Let's fuck, too. Lol. Same shit as friends with benefits. I don't want to be in a committed relationship with you, but I want to reap the same benefits.
I think lies that men tells, depends on the type of women that she is. If I'm dating a woman and I know she's dating more than me... I'll tell her the truth, shit im doing the same thing. Why lie to her. If I know she's the serious type. She's classy, very respectful...do you really think I'm going to tell her that dating(or fucking) other people? If I actually like her and I can see myself being with her, would that ruin my chances or would it help it? And if she never asks me about the others, is that lying to her? Most of the time people assume things without asking. If you want to know something, ask him. Do this in the beginning so you won't have to deal with the bullshit.
I'm not saying it's okay for men to lie and bullshit women. I absolutely hate it.
Posted by Arielle83
Exactly. Don't assume anything. That's the issue. Men and women aren't the same. And don't put your all into something when someone doesn't value you as much as you value them. Why give someone that power?

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Sadly your right. And totally get the if he is interested in you, he will ask you...a guy knows what he wants, they just have to mess around beforehand. Testing the boundaries.. A women know what she wants and doesn't like the beforehand type. They like me and only me type right there.
I don't like spinning plates. I like hold still plates.

Posted by CocoKatPosted by Magenta_Azure
op accommodating the fucked up ways men act and put the responsibility of being a decent, honest human being back on them. Fuck calculating a trist. Be honest or be gone!
I strongly agree with this, where I live.. men are treated like Gods (and act like morons), women are blamed for everything and shoulder the responsibility far more than necessary, its like a stagnation in consciousness birthing the current pua and seduction communities which foster this kind of hatred and abuse we see all over the forums. I waited to have sex with my partner but he wouldn't have left if I hadn't, its his level of consciousness that's what attracted me, he would NEVER blame women for having sex with him right away and wouldn't even dream to play with a womans feelings either. Im happy to have him in my life. I think I would be single forever in the current climate had I not.click to expand


Posted by CocoKat
Something Ive discovered, a reoccurring pattern Ive noticed not only on this site but on other astro (and non-astro) sites is the following scenario....
Everyone EXPECTS the female to chase the male now and when it doesn't work she is told to chase harder with no consequence of her feelings and how bad she looks in the scenario.
Posted by CocoKat
... communities which foster this kind of hatred and abuse we see all over the forums.
click to expand

Posted by Gobshite
Here's my take...
Most decent men have become sick and tired of becoming interested in one woman, dating her and (very soon) having to deal with her fickle nature (e.g. the 'I still can't get over my ex' syndrome, the female 'I've discovered one thing about you that doesn't meet my expectations' phenomenon, the 'because you're a man, you're supposed to do X and Y for me' attitude).
Such men will play the field and, very often, achieve more intimate success than if they've placed all their eggs into one basket (i.e. by being interested in just one woman and concentrating on her).
So, who's to blame? It's certainly not the men, on most occasions. Men have cottoned onto how cruel and fickle many women can be and are simply adapting to the situation. I would say that a majority of such men are actually wanting a stable relationship but, at some point, have said, "Fuck it!"
If you want things to change, look closer to home (preferably in a mirror).

Posted by Gobshite
Here's my take...
Most decent men have become sick and tired of becoming interested in one woman, dating her and (very soon) having to deal with her fickle nature (e.g. the 'I still can't get over my ex' syndrome, the female 'I've discovered one thing about you that doesn't meet my expectations' phenomenon, the 'because you're a man, you're supposed to do X and Y for me' attitude).
....So, who's to blame? It's certainly not the men, on most occasions. ....
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Everyone EXPECTS the female to chase the male now and when it doesn't work she is told to chase harder with no consequence of her feelings and how bad she looks in the scenario.
Whats up with this butter?