Being Strung Along

I was dating someone and it seems he was doing the classic sting along. Always wanted to talk on the phone or Facetime but never had time to see me. I believe he was keeping me around in case something else fell through. I decided it was time to let go. I didn't want to call and make a big deal of it so I just stopped calling or picking up when he called. I did not do this to play games or to get him to chase me, I just wanted to stop wanting someone that never wanted to see me.

He has not attempted to make contact and I don't think it really matters to him that we don't speak. Do you think it was wrong to not call and explain why I was stepping away? Did I do what was best?

My self esteem feels a little better since I am no longer sitting around chatting to him and waiting for him to decide he wants to see me.

yes, I'm in a similar situation and think it is better to step away. I think by saying anything they start thinking your trying to force them into a relationship but really you just want to get to know the other person. I would step back if he keeps trying then I would say why.

i don't see anything wrong with it.

Thank you ladies for your support. I think taking the first step but finally letting go and realizing he was never going to give what I need or want is a freeing experience. I am sad but at least I am no longer being delusional. The one thing that annoys me is that I'm sure he thinks I'm doing this to get attention and that is very far from the truth but I can control what others believe.

I think I made my exit a little late but I did it. Hate myself for dangling on a line as long as I did.

It is sad to think someone doesnt care that you are gone. It does hurt.

I did what you did when I realized I was being strung along and quietly bowed out. I just left him be. Less than 3 weeks later he started initiating contact all the time and saying he wanted to see me, taking me for dinner and saying out right several times, plans for the future. I was so happy. I thought he missed me.

It came out he just upped his game until he got what he wanted. He lied to keep me there and I feel so stupid.

Amarap it sucks right? A lesson in everything best way to think of it. The win is we recover and move on!!

Posted by aquagirllovesu
Amarap it sucks right? A lesson in everything best way to think of it. The win is we recover and move on!!

It does suck. But you dumped him essentially. Mine managed to get me back by lying and I fell for it. He used me until he got a gf. I am so upset.

Posted by AmaraP

Posted by aquagirllovesu
Amarap it sucks right? A lesson in everything best way to think of it. The win is we recover and move on!!

It does suck. But you dumped him essentially. Mine managed to get me back by lying and I fell for it. He used me until he got a gf. I am so upset.

click to expand

that's horrible!!

Posted by aquagirllovesu
I was dating someone and it seems he was doing the classic sting along. Always wanted to talk on the phone or Facetime but never had time to see me. I believe he was keeping me around in case something else fell through. I decided it was time to let go. I didn't want to call and make a big deal of it so I just stopped calling or picking up when he called. I did not do this to play games or to get him to chase me, I just wanted to stop wanting someone that never wanted to see me.

He has not attempted to make contact and I don't think it really matters to him that we don't speak. Do you think it was wrong to not call and explain why I was stepping away? Did I do what was best?

My self esteem feels a little better since I am no longer sitting around chatting to him and waiting for him to decide he wants to see me.

you did very good.

lots of men out there, decent men who will chase you down and want to marry you!! never fear. there's lots of them out there wanting marriage and family.

AmaraP believe me this one got the cookies the milk and the plate I just finally had enough. It happens, let it go and keep it moving. Mistakes happen and sometimes it takes time for the heart to listen to the brain. It's a part of life don't beat yourself up to much. Keep working on you and focus your energy on other stuff. Easier said than done but each day it gets easier.

@Op

Talk is cheap. It actually costs nothing. The whole, "I want to see you/ date you/ be with you forever" spiel is mostly a ploy to get from you whatever the dude is after. Usually pussy, but could also be emotional intimacy, money, etc.

Ime I've found that guys who are spending their Friday and Saturday nights taking you out are typically more serious bout it. Those are prime date nights and if your seeing them on these nights it's a pretty good indicator that your at the top of their roster.

You ABSOLUTELY DID RIGHT by you. And really, that's all you can do. Say no to the bad/lackluster and move always forward, don't dwell. You'll be entering a whole big world of yes.

I learned a lot from this. I think I am in a much better place now.

Taking a break from men, dating, and sex. Going to focus on enjoying my friends and work.

I am looking at this experience as positive. I met someone I really wanted and liked and although I was not the person for him, I learned that dating and falling in love is not the most important thing and that I need to focus on other things. Life is good.