krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts
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Bringing your friends around your S-O
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I think it boils down to your partner's own potential to cheat. It doesn't matter if you bring your friends around or not...if they got that itch in them to cheat, it's gonna eventually happen regardless. Just like you'll find men who'll cheat, you'll find ones that won't. Those are usually the ones you can leave around your friends without anything happening, or like someone mentioned above...if your friend makes a pass at him, he'll be the one that will be more than happy to let you know. Then there's the man who just ain't stupid enough to shit where he sleeps.
I think I'd be more mad at the friend if this happened lol. The couple guy friends I have are from way back. I'd trust these guys with a SO under any circumstances.
i turn my sexy DOWN when im around my friends S/O's. i dont evevn stay in the same room with them alone. i just dont put myslef in that position. i know what im capable of and what other people are capable of.
I'd actually be a little more tee-d off at my friend if she slept with my man & here's why.
Growing up, we were always told that men come a dime a dozen. If 1 betrays you, cry & then move onto the next one, BUT friends are supposed to & usually DO last a lot longer than relationships. Some men are gonna cheat & bam, you move on. But see, your friends oughta know better. They are/were the 1s to hear you crying when some Ahole does you wrong. They know exactly how you feel about betrayal b/c hey, they're your friends. So they oughta know better more than anyone.
Don't get me wrong, I'd still be upset with & hurt if my man cheated on me but if he cheated with 1 of my friends, they'd BOTH get the door, especially her. My best friend & I have been friends for over 17 years. We've been through everything. She was there when my ex cheated, she's seen my cry over Aholes that betrayed me, she's been the main 1 advising me tos tay away from those who wish to do harm against me. She was there when my relationships with exs began AND ended. So, yes if she slept with my man, she'd feel my rage the most simply b/c she should've known better.
I've had a guy hint to me that 1 of my good friends tried to hit on him while I was gone to the store. I didn't know what to think! On 1 hand, I loved him b/c hey, he was my man & I'm supposed to trust my own boyfriend BUT on the other hand, she was 1 of my good friends too & um, I'm supposed to trust my own best friends too! Long story short, it was her that hit on him but when I confronted her about it, she swore that He was the 1 who hit on her 1st. Welp, I was highly suspicious considering she conveinantly forgot to tell me that my boyfriend hit on her. Since he told me 1st, I decided to believe him. I never did find out what happend, to this day lol
Growing up, we were always told that men come a dime a dozen. If 1 betrays you, cry & then move onto the next one, BUT friends are supposed to & usually DO last a lot longer than relationships. Some men are gonna cheat & bam, you move on. But see, your friends oughta know better. They are/were the 1s to hear you crying when some Ahole does you wrong. They know exactly how you feel about betrayal b/c hey, they're your friends. So they oughta know better more than anyone.
Don't get me wrong, I'd still be upset with & hurt if my man cheated on me but if he cheated with 1 of my friends, they'd BOTH get the door, especially her. My best friend & I have been friends for over 17 years. We've been through everything. She was there when my ex cheated, she's seen my cry over Aholes that betrayed me, she's been the main 1 advising me tos tay away from those who wish to do harm against me. She was there when my relationships with exs began AND ended. So, yes if she slept with my man, she'd feel my rage the most simply b/c she should've known better.
I've had a guy hint to me that 1 of my good friends tried to hit on him while I was gone to the store. I didn't know what to think! On 1 hand, I loved him b/c hey, he was my man & I'm supposed to trust my own boyfriend BUT on the other hand, she was 1 of my good friends too & um, I'm supposed to trust my own best friends too! Long story short, it was her that hit on him but when I confronted her about it, she swore that He was the 1 who hit on her 1st. Welp, I was highly suspicious considering she conveinantly forgot to tell me that my boyfriend hit on her. Since he told me 1st, I decided to believe him. I never did find out what happend, to this day lol
Posted by krysrenee7
And spare me with all that "trust" crap.
wow
** shakes head **
I hope people realize where you lead them.
Posted by PurpleDiamond
My man has a responsibilty to me and I expect him to do his job whether it involves other women, men, whoever he's suppose to respect me. If that were me and my exboyfriend my ex would have put that clerk in her place I wouldn't have had to say anything. Women are bold but its not a battle for me to fight, he belongs to me and if he isn't letting that be known and acting in ways that reflect that, then its no longer about the other woman but him. She can only do what he allows.
I love this PurpleDiamond! I feel the exact same way. You stated it perfectly...most men don't realize how important this is...
Posted by QuietSt0rmPosted by PurpleDiamond
My man has a responsibilty to me and I expect him to do his job whether it involves other women, men, whoever he's suppose to respect me. If that were me and my exboyfriend my ex would have put that clerk in her place I wouldn't have had to say anything. Women are bold but its not a battle for me to fight, he belongs to me and if he isn't letting that be known and acting in ways that reflect that, then its no longer about the other woman but him.
Yeah, it wasn't necessary for him to say anything though because his actions said it all so I'm not worried. Plus if he would have made a scene I probably would have been embarrassed, if she was serious I'm sure he would have shut her down but she was joking, he knew it and I knew it so a big scene really wasn't necessary.
He dropped a few hundred on me and walked out the door holding my hand, I think that says more than anything he could have said to her.click to expand
Mmmm, your guy sounds like he's in love QS...good for you!
Yup. It's all about whether or not you partner is inclined to cheat anyway. So, sorry, but it does boil down to trust.
I entrust my bf to be around our female friends indefinitely no matter how great of a personality or hot they are. In fact, we still regularly hang out with 2 that he slept with in the past; one being his old, long-time FWB. Does it bother me? Meh. It used to kinda bother me in the beginning when he and i first made it official. We both knew that she was still sprung over him (classic case where she fell in love and she wasn't supposed to). However, whenever I talked to her she would drop tidbits about their new relationship (aka "platonic friendship"). She would sound annoyed because he would rarely respond to her texts anymore, he turned down any invitation out with her even though other friends would be around, and he pretty much stopped calling. Now, I try to empathize on her end and I know it would irk me if my so-called friend dropped off the face of the earth. On the other hand, we all knew his actions of cutting her off for a while was in everyone's best interest. She was borderline obsessed with him and used to tell me, before he and i hooked up, that they would be together if only he changed a few things in his life. Anyways...
In regards to the bf who actually cheated on me... he was gonna do it anyway and I should have seen the signs. I recall, after only a few months of dating, how his best friend's (male) female friends would tell me that my bf would hit on every girl at parties when I wasn't there. One in particular was very nice to me and she was adamant about making me aware of his behavior.
If any man, or woman, truly loves you for you and is serious, they won't want to risk a good thing. We can't help who we're attracted to but we can control our actions.
I entrust my bf to be around our female friends indefinitely no matter how great of a personality or hot they are. In fact, we still regularly hang out with 2 that he slept with in the past; one being his old, long-time FWB. Does it bother me? Meh. It used to kinda bother me in the beginning when he and i first made it official. We both knew that she was still sprung over him (classic case where she fell in love and she wasn't supposed to). However, whenever I talked to her she would drop tidbits about their new relationship (aka "platonic friendship"). She would sound annoyed because he would rarely respond to her texts anymore, he turned down any invitation out with her even though other friends would be around, and he pretty much stopped calling. Now, I try to empathize on her end and I know it would irk me if my so-called friend dropped off the face of the earth. On the other hand, we all knew his actions of cutting her off for a while was in everyone's best interest. She was borderline obsessed with him and used to tell me, before he and i hooked up, that they would be together if only he changed a few things in his life. Anyways...
In regards to the bf who actually cheated on me... he was gonna do it anyway and I should have seen the signs. I recall, after only a few months of dating, how his best friend's (male) female friends would tell me that my bf would hit on every girl at parties when I wasn't there. One in particular was very nice to me and she was adamant about making me aware of his behavior.
If any man, or woman, truly loves you for you and is serious, they won't want to risk a good thing. We can't help who we're attracted to but we can control our actions.
I see purplediamond's point regarding the clerk issue. Clearly he was sending out a vibe that he was available by not saying anything but women are oblivious when in love, they just make up a ton of excuses for a man's half ass behavior. Anyone with an ounce of sense would have noticed that her man didn't have her back and was encouraging the situation and yep you can be sure when that clerk see him around she's going for it and why shouldn't she go for it...He's single, that's the message and vibe he sent by saying nothing.
If the tables were turned and a man was clearly flirting and asking her out, not only would she check him and specify to him that her man is by her side but her man would make sure he know she's taken and quickly mark his scent in that territory to make sure men know she's taken and back the f*ck up or get bent but of course we women can minimize anything and make it less worse than it really is.
If the tables were turned and a man was clearly flirting and asking her out, not only would she check him and specify to him that her man is by her side but her man would make sure he know she's taken and quickly mark his scent in that territory to make sure men know she's taken and back the f*ck up or get bent but of course we women can minimize anything and make it less worse than it really is.
I somewhat agree. On 1 hand, it is absolutely your man's job to make it known that he's taken. It shouldn't ever get to the point where a woman has to mark her territory just for another woman to "get the point," b/c if she has to, the man already messed up and/or didn't send off the right signal.
Now granted, sometimes women will innocently flirt with a man whether he's with his girlfriend or not & to an extent, it does depend on the atmosphere. Why cuss out the Walmart cashier whose flirting with your man in front of you? It's not like she's ever going to see him again. Plus, no matter how hard she throws the bait, he should NOT bite anyways. You might walk away feeling slightly disrespected, but then again you have to pick your battles & remember that your man is going home with YOU tonight, not those desperate girls.
When a woman is throwing herself onto a man that is taken, I don't expect for the man to get as outraged as his girlfriend would probably be. A man's girlfriend might start doing the kneck roll, start cussing and/or cause a scene, but even men who have lots of self-discipline & don't plan on flirting back, don't really do anything more than just walk away & maybe even mention it to their girlfriends when they get home.
Men don't handle someone coming onto them the same way women do. Whereas a woman who gets hit on by a man she's not into, she might be extra dramatic and/or take rejecting the guy too far. But men, they can be kind of passive-aggressive. They may stand there, continue to entertain the other woman and/or even conversate, but in THEIR minds, they figure that it's harmless since they don't plan on taking the bait.
Now granted, sometimes women will innocently flirt with a man whether he's with his girlfriend or not & to an extent, it does depend on the atmosphere. Why cuss out the Walmart cashier whose flirting with your man in front of you? It's not like she's ever going to see him again. Plus, no matter how hard she throws the bait, he should NOT bite anyways. You might walk away feeling slightly disrespected, but then again you have to pick your battles & remember that your man is going home with YOU tonight, not those desperate girls.
When a woman is throwing herself onto a man that is taken, I don't expect for the man to get as outraged as his girlfriend would probably be. A man's girlfriend might start doing the kneck roll, start cussing and/or cause a scene, but even men who have lots of self-discipline & don't plan on flirting back, don't really do anything more than just walk away & maybe even mention it to their girlfriends when they get home.
Men don't handle someone coming onto them the same way women do. Whereas a woman who gets hit on by a man she's not into, she might be extra dramatic and/or take rejecting the guy too far. But men, they can be kind of passive-aggressive. They may stand there, continue to entertain the other woman and/or even conversate, but in THEIR minds, they figure that it's harmless since they don't plan on taking the bait.
It all depends on the signals my man is giving to the other woman. A man can't control that other women are attracted to them, BUT they CAN control what signals they're giving out to other women.
If I saw another woman flirting with my man in front of me, I'd be slightly upset b/c I'd be thinking "Oh what nerve she has!" But I wouldn't say anything or cause a scene if I could visibly see my man doing everything he can to respect me and/or let it be known that he's taken. My man doesn't & can't control the acts/taunts of desperate women.
BUT if he was being hit on & yet was flirting back, then we'd have a problem! A huge one! If I could see that my man was inappropriately flirting back OR getting a little TOO giggly with another woman that's flirting with him, I'd walk away & while walking away mention to him to call me when he's done drooling over the girl he apparently feels is more important at the time. I don't entertain men who have wandering eyes.
If I saw another woman flirting with my man in front of me, I'd be slightly upset b/c I'd be thinking "Oh what nerve she has!" But I wouldn't say anything or cause a scene if I could visibly see my man doing everything he can to respect me and/or let it be known that he's taken. My man doesn't & can't control the acts/taunts of desperate women.
BUT if he was being hit on & yet was flirting back, then we'd have a problem! A huge one! If I could see that my man was inappropriately flirting back OR getting a little TOO giggly with another woman that's flirting with him, I'd walk away & while walking away mention to him to call me when he's done drooling over the girl he apparently feels is more important at the time. I don't entertain men who have wandering eyes.
Posted by PurpleDiamond
I'm not understanding why it being at a club vs a store or somewhere else makes a difference. The same thing your ex said to the girl at the club would be the same thing he would say regardless of where you were because he knew that would be disrespectful if he did not acknowledge you being his women to her. .
I agree. To some extent, inappropriate flirting/fondling is just NOT OK regardless of the environment/atmosphere.
But we have to be realistic & take into consideration the atmosphere. I don't see these types of situations as black & white. It all depends on the environment, the circumstances, the man's level of self-awareness & self-displine.
If we're out at Walmart together & some googly-eyed cashier hits on my man, I won't be half as mad vs. had that very same woman done such at his job. 1. If I knew the woman flirting with my man had more than 5 seconds of access to him, I'd be a little bit more worried and/or feel a tad bit more disrespected.
It'd be the same as if my man were to be hit on by some 70 year old lady! I still wouldn't appreciate it, BUT her being 70 years old wouldn't spark the same reaction in me the way it would persay that very same women were 25 & very attractive.
I think the level of another woman's attractiveness counts too. Let's be honest...it's easier to not sweat things when you know that the girl hitting on your man is NOT his type. It's easier for us to quickly compare ourselves to the other woman & think, "Pst! She wishes!" But if that very same woman were his "type" & if she were to be able to get his attention, my ears/eyes would be a little more perked. I'd def. pay a little bit more attention to his responses.
@krys - this is one of the most appalling things I have heard.
A true friend would NEVER go after a friend's man.
And I'll bet the husband didn't have a gun to his head - it was his decision and choice to cheat.
No one needs "friends" like that.
I hope she has gotten lawyered up and kicked them both to the kerb.
A true friend would NEVER go after a friend's man.
And I'll bet the husband didn't have a gun to his head - it was his decision and choice to cheat.
No one needs "friends" like that.
I hope she has gotten lawyered up and kicked them both to the kerb.
Predictable reaction..devaluing everyones statement and minimizing LOL *shrugs* that's always the same reaction over and over again, oh well the show must go on...
I've found in my experience that the majority of the time when a person was being hit on .... this was an actual fabrication in place to try and make their partner jealous.
Most Scorpios do have trust issues, so don't worry about this QuietStorm.
Just keep in mind with your co-workers, and any friend you have, and especially with people in here ... you are hearing one side of the story, and people tend to embellish with intentions of coming out smelling like roses .. you know, the ego really doesn't like looking like a fool.
Your co-worker told you what she WANTED you to believe .. and this is one side, HER side.
It appears to me that most times I've encountered people who display jealous tendancies, it's because they want their partner to be jealous of them.
You know .... treat others like you want for yourself kind of thing.
Just keep in mind with your co-workers, and any friend you have, and especially with people in here ... you are hearing one side of the story, and people tend to embellish with intentions of coming out smelling like roses .. you know, the ego really doesn't like looking like a fool.
Your co-worker told you what she WANTED you to believe .. and this is one side, HER side.
It appears to me that most times I've encountered people who display jealous tendancies, it's because they want their partner to be jealous of them.
You know .... treat others like you want for yourself kind of thing.
Posted by QuietSt0rm
I can't devalue something that has VALUE. Say something valuable and I might be able to work with that, but like I said you only had your little bit to say because you don't like me and don't 'approve' of the situation I am in. I am so over it and wish you would be too.
I can't make a comment in a thread without you hopping all over my shit like a hungry little vulture. To say whether or not you would react the same is one thing, but to imply that my man (who you know nothing about) "didn't have her back and was encouraging the situation" *eyeroll* is a little dramatic. Don't let your mind paint pictures that your eyes didn't see. You're playing this situation up to me something that it clearly wasn't, and you weren't even there! But that's what you do. LOL So redundant. smh
LMAO you are so funny and predictable....Don't like you and don't like your situation LMAO!! I'd have to know you not to like you and I's have to care about you and your situation to not like the situation your in, you give yourself way too much credit....And to think I thought you had more guts and sense than Elle but it turns out that not only does she have more sense than you, she is much stronger emotionally than your simple minded ass. Go ahead and stay a slave to your poor judgment.
Calm down Tonto, I was merely adding my statement....As far as being redundant okay I can own that but your equally as redundant if not more redundant than anyone here. Ironically the more you talk the more you out yourself as insecure with little to no self esteem only to come back and clean it all up as we go along LOL...So amused by your poor ability to out your issues.
Posted by QuietSt0rm
You say you don't care about my situation but then you turn around and in the next breath, passing judgement. Let's be honest tiki, if you really didn't care, why waste the energy? Why are you so adamant about me being senseless, gutless, weaker and simple minded (all in one sentence) sounds like some pretty powerful words about someone you don't care about.
So we can nip this in the bud easily. You don't give a shit about me or my situation, I don't give a shit about you and your one-track minded ass advice or opinions. If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. I don't know why you insist on pushing your opinion off on others then get pissed and have the audacity to call THEM predictable. Nice touch though.
We have nothing left to talk about so let's both do each other a favor and not address each other anymore. Fair enough?
Great. Enjoy your night.
LOL@passing judgement....more like passing facts but okay...I wasn't wasting my energy on you, I was merely agreeing with PD and you of course come in like a wolf on a mission to minimize our statements as judgements.
I make a statement and I'm suddenly pushing my statement off on you LOL your such a child sometimes, you can't get it into your widdle bwain that it's not about you. I wasn't actually addressing you, I was saying how I felt about men not acknowledging there women in front of other women but since you wanted to address me and PD indirectly on the sly and call me a vulture and what not well me being the person I am and choosing not to covertly insult people said what I wanted to say overtly to you and I'm going to keep saying it...Hit that ignore user button, you know were to find it LOL
Oh and I don't dislike you...I never disliked you but I know you can't stand my bitchy ass LOL *shrugs* oh well, the world keeps turning.
Posted by QuietSt0rm
Will do!
Guess there's a first time for everything since apparently you don't know when to quit. LOL smh
LOL no worries I'm done
Posted by QuietSt0rm
we traveled 2 HOURS north up in Michigan to an outlet strip far away from where we live.
LOL You guys went to Grand Rapids? Or farther north, like Traverse City or Petoskey? 😉
Ahhh.. still way south of me.. guess I was thinking.. OMG Michigan? Not realizing you're from Ohio, so "2 hours north" would still be way south and barely in Michigan 😉
*smh* I realize you and Tiki have some abrasive history QS, but really, her points are usually valid, if a bit harsh on the menfolk.. unfortunately, more women bristle at her tone and her "dire warnings" than understand that she's coming from a place of loving and trying to help women... that's ALL SHE DOES, that's Tiki at the core.
Truthfully, as I read about the "cashier" exchange, even *I* was like.. uh oh.. why'd he not put her in her place? That's not the woman's job, that's HIS job to conduct himself properly and not be ambiguous, ESP with his lady present. Man, what's he like when out alone? And she laughs and says she didn't care? Wow.. a Scorp saying she's not even a LITTLE insecure and jealous and looking sideways at her man being wishy-washy around flirty women and saying, "Honey.. we need to talk.. What was that?"?? Well, we've all definitely seen a lot of women who stuff down their feelings and instincts to not rock the boat, ignore their gut to maintain the happy couple thing, but eventually they boil up in a volcano of emotion and WHOA. tsk tsk
Now, as more details were added, ESP him *not* playing along with Female Truck Driver Turned Cashier Trying To Make Witty Convo, and mostly just not reacting to her (out of politeness?).. okay, I guess I can see how one would talk one's way through that. The devil's in the details, my Momma always said... and I feel if a man is happily taken, he's eager to let people know.. he's not going to miss an opportunity to say so, even with a heavy-set cashier who flirts.. he'd jump on the chance to show off his status, ESP to YOU.
So, QS.. think about it and answer honestly.. what if the cashier WAS attractive and sexy and batting her eyes at your man, but he just stood like stone with her, and walked out with his arm around you? Exact same set up, different caliber of "flirty girl".. so.. would you leave it all on "trusting" your man who didn't do his job and put the girl clearly and decisively in her place by saying CLEARLY, "This is my woman, and no thank you."? Would you be hurt, angry, jealous? Would you bring it up? Or would you stuff all that down to be the "cool, calm, collected" woman a Cap guy wants.. telling yourself it didn't really matter.. you can't control another woman's actions.. relationships need trust.. let's not do drama? Is the deciding factor REALLY not that his behavior was ambiguous at best, but that the cashier wasn't pretty enough to trip your warning bells?
Truthfully, as I read about the "cashier" exchange, even *I* was like.. uh oh.. why'd he not put her in her place? That's not the woman's job, that's HIS job to conduct himself properly and not be ambiguous, ESP with his lady present. Man, what's he like when out alone? And she laughs and says she didn't care? Wow.. a Scorp saying she's not even a LITTLE insecure and jealous and looking sideways at her man being wishy-washy around flirty women and saying, "Honey.. we need to talk.. What was that?"?? Well, we've all definitely seen a lot of women who stuff down their feelings and instincts to not rock the boat, ignore their gut to maintain the happy couple thing, but eventually they boil up in a volcano of emotion and WHOA. tsk tsk
Now, as more details were added, ESP him *not* playing along with Female Truck Driver Turned Cashier Trying To Make Witty Convo, and mostly just not reacting to her (out of politeness?).. okay, I guess I can see how one would talk one's way through that. The devil's in the details, my Momma always said... and I feel if a man is happily taken, he's eager to let people know.. he's not going to miss an opportunity to say so, even with a heavy-set cashier who flirts.. he'd jump on the chance to show off his status, ESP to YOU.
So, QS.. think about it and answer honestly.. what if the cashier WAS attractive and sexy and batting her eyes at your man, but he just stood like stone with her, and walked out with his arm around you? Exact same set up, different caliber of "flirty girl".. so.. would you leave it all on "trusting" your man who didn't do his job and put the girl clearly and decisively in her place by saying CLEARLY, "This is my woman, and no thank you."? Would you be hurt, angry, jealous? Would you bring it up? Or would you stuff all that down to be the "cool, calm, collected" woman a Cap guy wants.. telling yourself it didn't really matter.. you can't control another woman's actions.. relationships need trust.. let's not do drama? Is the deciding factor REALLY not that his behavior was ambiguous at best, but that the cashier wasn't pretty enough to trip your warning bells?
Okie dokie, hon.. you know him better than I do LOL
And for the record, I'm not saying he's a jerk or an asshole, cuz I simply don't know.. just occurred to me that it could be something the two of you may need to sit down and openly discuss at some point.. how a taken man responds to flirting, esp in from of his woman. Some men are fairly clueless, some are from terrible or indifferent upbringings, never learned what little things REALLY show respect (or disrespect) to a woman.. those little bit clueless guys NEED our strong boundaries, so they know what behaviors are and are not acceptable, and what behaviors should be cultivated to deepen the relationship.
Hahaha don't you DARE play the "not that damn naive" card, chica.. no one's actually immune.. WE ARE ALL THAT DAMN NAIVE when the right (wrong?) person pulls the strings! We have to slowly build immunity against things that once seemed fine or normal to us, and listen to our guts more. The one who thinks she can't be fooled is usually the blindest of all.. HA! Even me, babes! LOL
And for the record, I'm not saying he's a jerk or an asshole, cuz I simply don't know.. just occurred to me that it could be something the two of you may need to sit down and openly discuss at some point.. how a taken man responds to flirting, esp in from of his woman. Some men are fairly clueless, some are from terrible or indifferent upbringings, never learned what little things REALLY show respect (or disrespect) to a woman.. those little bit clueless guys NEED our strong boundaries, so they know what behaviors are and are not acceptable, and what behaviors should be cultivated to deepen the relationship.
Hahaha don't you DARE play the "not that damn naive" card, chica.. no one's actually immune.. WE ARE ALL THAT DAMN NAIVE when the right (wrong?) person pulls the strings! We have to slowly build immunity against things that once seemed fine or normal to us, and listen to our guts more. The one who thinks she can't be fooled is usually the blindest of all.. HA! Even me, babes! LOL
Now, I'm not the jealous type.. and that's good, cuz I'm with a Libra... and that man would flirt with a rock! Young girls, old girls, fat, skinny, tall, short, black, white, green, purple.. all of them, it's like in his DNA.. and HE thinks he's just being "friendly".. but that Libra Charm is a whole 'nother category, woo! However.. the man has never, not once, ever in our relationship (aside from the VERY FIRST TIME when he used my NAME only, and we were still "skirting" if we wanted to date exclusively or not).. failed to introduce me as HIS GIRLFRIEND or HIS LOVE or MY BABY, straight up, no ambiguity. And if a girl is getting way too flirty in reaction to HIS "friendliness".. he always brings me up, HIS woman, he's NOT available. People have told me he does this when I'm not there as well, AND talks about me almost incessantly, my girlfriend this, my girlfriend that.
So he's learned through MY boundaries.. you do not disrespect your woman by being ambiguous about her, and about what she is to you. Like I said.. there was the ONE time.. and after that, we had a talk.. if I were to be with him as a couple, there would be NO introducing me by name and leaving the "Status" hanging, not to men or women, or friends or whomever.. that I expect him to be proud of our status and make it clear. This was presented to him as a non-negotiable, because there would be no compromising on it, and if he didn't feel he could follow through with this, then we would not be entering a serious relationship together. He quickly said he got it.. and he has. It's a wonderful feeling, honestly.. to know my man knows where the line is, and doesn't cross it. I wish more women knew how that felt!
So he's learned through MY boundaries.. you do not disrespect your woman by being ambiguous about her, and about what she is to you. Like I said.. there was the ONE time.. and after that, we had a talk.. if I were to be with him as a couple, there would be NO introducing me by name and leaving the "Status" hanging, not to men or women, or friends or whomever.. that I expect him to be proud of our status and make it clear. This was presented to him as a non-negotiable, because there would be no compromising on it, and if he didn't feel he could follow through with this, then we would not be entering a serious relationship together. He quickly said he got it.. and he has. It's a wonderful feeling, honestly.. to know my man knows where the line is, and doesn't cross it. I wish more women knew how that felt!
G'night, QS.. sorry if I upset you, you seem a bit defensive to me.. and that's okay. I get it.. we get tired of trying to explain situations to people who weren't there, trying to get them to see what we're saying, tired of feeling like we're defending our relationships to strangers who have a different pov. I wasn't meaning to draw parallels in my last post.. I was actually posting a working example of what discussing boundaries can get you in return. And MY boundaries are not going to be YOUR boundaries.. every woman decides for herself what those boundaries are. Some women would claw my Libra's eyes out for flirting.. me, that's not one of my boundaries, cuz he doesn't go overboard or get disrespectful with it. But one of my boundaries IS.. no ambiguity about what we are to each other.
Okay, at risk of pissing QS off (which is not my intention!!) I want to expand on "boundaries" for the rest of the people who may come read this thread... and I'm going to use the "cashier" thingy to illustrate my point. (So let's just maybe pretend that whole story was a hypothetical situation posted by a total stranger none of us know? Cuz I'm really NOT trying to coax or convince QS of doing anything differently than the way she is. Seriosuly! Her relationship is hers to handle!)
The reason our boundaries have to be so strong? Because guys tend to be linear and concrete about them, and the subtle differences between situations tend to get lost on them (if non-Waters? lol).. like the cashier story. One time, his girl doesn't react to him not saying or doing anything. Then the next time something similar happens, but it's an attractive cashier, she sees the girl as a threat and it triggers jealousy and insecurity and anger. She doesn't make a scene, silently fumes (or stuffs!) but later brings it up and he's all, "What? What's the difference? It didn't bother you last time! You never said I had to tell every stranger we're a couple, as if they can't see it for themselves! Boy, you sure are acting insecure and distrustful!" And no matter how many times the woman tries to explain the subtle differences.. prettier girl, flirtier girl, more SERIOUS girl.. or brings up the differences in HIS behavior.. this time he smiled.. this time he glanced at his woman but still didn't make their status clear.. this time he seemed more INTO the flirting.. well, he's just not going to get the differences. To him it's pretty black and white.. you were okay with it once, this time you're not... man, you sure do change a lot and can't make up your mind.. WOW you seem controlling.. way insecure and jealous cuz some girl found me cute.. please, I didn't flip out over that waiter making goo-goo eyes at you last week. And, it's likely to cause a fight. Yuck!
The reason our boundaries have to be so strong? Because guys tend to be linear and concrete about them, and the subtle differences between situations tend to get lost on them (if non-Waters? lol).. like the cashier story. One time, his girl doesn't react to him not saying or doing anything. Then the next time something similar happens, but it's an attractive cashier, she sees the girl as a threat and it triggers jealousy and insecurity and anger. She doesn't make a scene, silently fumes (or stuffs!) but later brings it up and he's all, "What? What's the difference? It didn't bother you last time! You never said I had to tell every stranger we're a couple, as if they can't see it for themselves! Boy, you sure are acting insecure and distrustful!" And no matter how many times the woman tries to explain the subtle differences.. prettier girl, flirtier girl, more SERIOUS girl.. or brings up the differences in HIS behavior.. this time he smiled.. this time he glanced at his woman but still didn't make their status clear.. this time he seemed more INTO the flirting.. well, he's just not going to get the differences. To him it's pretty black and white.. you were okay with it once, this time you're not... man, you sure do change a lot and can't make up your mind.. WOW you seem controlling.. way insecure and jealous cuz some girl found me cute.. please, I didn't flip out over that waiter making goo-goo eyes at you last week. And, it's likely to cause a fight. Yuck!
THAT'S why it's important "have those talks" to set certain boundaries about his behavior, and not "let it go" simply because THAT girl didn't trigger you.. it's not about the other girl.. it's about HIM doing something you would feel awful about in another similar situation. Now, Libra and I bumped heads a couple months ago about the "subtle differences" that HE can't see in situations... He flirts, and I don't mind. But a couple months ago, I felt he was being TOO flirty with a girl I don't trust, with a girl known to cheat on her husband. When I brought it up, he got defensive.. what? But I don't lose my mind over him being around "Leo".. or "Gemini".. why's "Cappy" any different? Subtle differences.. so hard to explain... Cap's a known cheater, she's definitely more into him than she should be, she's alll over him.. she's NOT friendly to me, she's barely civil.. Leo and Gem are my FRIENDS, and they aren't INTERESTED in you, even if they joke and flirt... And he didn't get it.. but even if I don't trust HER, I should trust HIM! So wtf?? He still didn't get it... even though I had to literally spell out a new boundary.. not being too flirty with less than trustworthy girls, or any girl I don't know and trust to not attempt to betray me... but.. that particular boundary fails for a few reasons... 1) Since I usually don't care about flirting and it's never been an issue, why is it now? 2) Subtle differences are "lost" on him.. when does it actually MEET that criteria? (Just with Cappy? So far, yeah lol)and 3) It mostly just serves to make me look insecure about the Cap and distrustful of my man for a reason that baffles him and waht's he supposed to do, check with me to see if a girl is ok to talk to??
So clearly, this flimsy, rickety boundary isn't going to fix the "Cappy thing".. because a boundary has to be rock solid, b&w, for a man to be able to wrap his mind around it and follow it. So at this point, it's been more of a just avoids talking to her much, cuz he knows I'm not terribly fond of her. But it's had me thinking.. he's now censoring himself, having to worry about every little thing he says or does around her, or if he even mentions her in conversation.. cuz in HIS mind.. HE never changed or behaved differently just because SHE'S kinda overboard.. I got weird about her and her alone, couldn't handle my own shit, and put it on HIM to fix. And he was right, as much as that pains me to admit. I tried to claim a (weak) boundary wh
So clearly, this flimsy, rickety boundary isn't going to fix the "Cappy thing".. because a boundary has to be rock solid, b&w, for a man to be able to wrap his mind around it and follow it. So at this point, it's been more of a just avoids talking to her much, cuz he knows I'm not terribly fond of her. But it's had me thinking.. he's now censoring himself, having to worry about every little thing he says or does around her, or if he even mentions her in conversation.. cuz in HIS mind.. HE never changed or behaved differently just because SHE'S kinda overboard.. I got weird about her and her alone, couldn't handle my own shit, and put it on HIM to fix. And he was right, as much as that pains me to admit. I tried to claim a (weak) boundary wh
where there was none previously, and ONLY for an isolated situation and not across the board, but it can't be done that way. So I dealt with my own shit.
And last night, Cappy's kid got stranded at the school after practice when his coach forgot he'd promised to drive him home... Libra was working on his Mom's truck most of the night and not here, and called to tell me about Cappy's panicked text asking for help. He left it ALL entirely in my court, and so I volunteered to walk over and get the kid since we live right by the school, and keep him here. He was surprised, said, "But, baby.. I thought..." and I just said none of that mattered, and he was VERY pleased. Cap's (Scorp haha) hubby was working until 2am and had the car, and she couldn't find another ride, so he stayed the night and I washed his clothes and sent him to school this morning with my boys. Cap was VERY grateful, says she needs to take me out one night, a Girls' Night. So.. we may be done with the whole "Cap thing" being an issue. Cuz really.. it was MY issue in the first place, not HIS to fix!
So I guess the moral of the story is to set YOUR personal strong boundaries about behavior early, to not wait until something about another girl triggers you.. cuz by then, if you try to set a boundary.. it won't be solid enough, and won't come out right and will require WAAAAY more talking, compromising and figuring out.. with him baffled the whole way because apples is apples, duh. Stop saying they're oranges sometimes, crazy woman! lol
And last night, Cappy's kid got stranded at the school after practice when his coach forgot he'd promised to drive him home... Libra was working on his Mom's truck most of the night and not here, and called to tell me about Cappy's panicked text asking for help. He left it ALL entirely in my court, and so I volunteered to walk over and get the kid since we live right by the school, and keep him here. He was surprised, said, "But, baby.. I thought..." and I just said none of that mattered, and he was VERY pleased. Cap's (Scorp haha) hubby was working until 2am and had the car, and she couldn't find another ride, so he stayed the night and I washed his clothes and sent him to school this morning with my boys. Cap was VERY grateful, says she needs to take me out one night, a Girls' Night. So.. we may be done with the whole "Cap thing" being an issue. Cuz really.. it was MY issue in the first place, not HIS to fix!
So I guess the moral of the story is to set YOUR personal strong boundaries about behavior early, to not wait until something about another girl triggers you.. cuz by then, if you try to set a boundary.. it won't be solid enough, and won't come out right and will require WAAAAY more talking, compromising and figuring out.. with him baffled the whole way because apples is apples, duh. Stop saying they're oranges sometimes, crazy woman! lol
@PurpleDiamond: I understand where you're coming from but I understand where Quiet Storm is coming from too.
Purple, you've got it right that SOME (keyword) men will screw anything that walks, but honey you've got it wrong if you're generalizing ALL men b/c if that were true, that'd mean that even YOUR man will screw anything that walks & betray you. And I'm sure that you don't agree. These situations are not black & white (there's a gray area) b/c all men are NOT the same. Not all men fall for the bait, whether their girlfriends are actually there or not. So that logic doesn't apply to all situations; it only applies to the men actually dumb & disrespectful enough to take the bait.
Plus, it's ok to feel disrespected. How you feel about a situation & how you react to a situation are 2 different things. How you feel is how you feel-It's never quite necessarily a "good" feeling when another woman boldy hits on your man while you're standing there or even when you're not there. BUT, how you react should depend on what actually happened. I agree that a man should make it known verbally that he's taken, BUT there are many other ways (like body language and/or walking away) that can send off the same signal too.
If a man is THAT hot, he's going to naturally have to fend off alot of women. Some women honestly didn't know he was taken (for all they know, you could be his best friend, sister, boss, co-worker, or cousin) & some women actually know & still just don't care. If a woman is coming on strong to a man & won't quit, I think he should verbally make mention of his relationship. But if he's out at Walmart & the cashier hits on him, he can smile, not flirt back & keep it moving. If I were that cashier, I'd take his lack of conversation to be the SAME hint that he's single just like I'd get the point had he verbally told me himself.
Purple, you've got it right that SOME (keyword) men will screw anything that walks, but honey you've got it wrong if you're generalizing ALL men b/c if that were true, that'd mean that even YOUR man will screw anything that walks & betray you. And I'm sure that you don't agree. These situations are not black & white (there's a gray area) b/c all men are NOT the same. Not all men fall for the bait, whether their girlfriends are actually there or not. So that logic doesn't apply to all situations; it only applies to the men actually dumb & disrespectful enough to take the bait.
Plus, it's ok to feel disrespected. How you feel about a situation & how you react to a situation are 2 different things. How you feel is how you feel-It's never quite necessarily a "good" feeling when another woman boldy hits on your man while you're standing there or even when you're not there. BUT, how you react should depend on what actually happened. I agree that a man should make it known verbally that he's taken, BUT there are many other ways (like body language and/or walking away) that can send off the same signal too.
If a man is THAT hot, he's going to naturally have to fend off alot of women. Some women honestly didn't know he was taken (for all they know, you could be his best friend, sister, boss, co-worker, or cousin) & some women actually know & still just don't care. If a woman is coming on strong to a man & won't quit, I think he should verbally make mention of his relationship. But if he's out at Walmart & the cashier hits on him, he can smile, not flirt back & keep it moving. If I were that cashier, I'd take his lack of conversation to be the SAME hint that he's single just like I'd get the point had he verbally told me himself.
But I can also see where QuietStorm is coming from. She picks her battles. She genuinely felt in her heart that it wasn't a big deal. Of course there's a chance that she could be wrong, but hey she can't worry about that since her heart/intuition all says different. We can all spend all year talking about the "What ifs" but all that matters is that if SHE felt that her man handled himself the right way, there's no use in her becoming insecure & wondering "what if,"
or thinking about what he MIGHT have done.
All women deal with situations differently. I've seen some women go home & start fights with their boyfriends all b/c their partners didn't react in the way she would've when a woman hit on him. And that's wrong. Some women expect for men to take it to the extreme & yell "Stop talking! I'm taken" but that's just not how it works--that's not reality, unless of course the woman is continually flirting with him and/or boosting up her level of flirting with him.
A man shouldn't have to go around saying, "Hush, I'm taken" every 5 seconds. He should only make that clear in extreme situations. Plus, a man should also react accordingly depending on his girlfriend's level of comfortability. If he can clearly see that his girlfriend's face is turning red while another girl is flirting with him, he may not want to, BUT he should react a little bit more accordingly simply b/c he sees that she's uncomfortable. And if a man hasn't done anything wrong or doesn't plan on doing so, he should do what he has to do to make sure that his woman won't doubt him, even if she's not around when others flirt with him.
Flirting back is NEVER ok, but then again women going over board in marking their territories is also not ok too, especially since it all comes down to it being the MAN'S responsibility to make it known that he's taken. The man got hit on, not the girlfriend so the girlfriend should be quiet & wait on/expect her man to "take care of it." If he doesn't, that's a problem. But if he does, who cares about whether or not he "might" see her again or whatever. You've just gotta pick your battles
or thinking about what he MIGHT have done.
All women deal with situations differently. I've seen some women go home & start fights with their boyfriends all b/c their partners didn't react in the way she would've when a woman hit on him. And that's wrong. Some women expect for men to take it to the extreme & yell "Stop talking! I'm taken" but that's just not how it works--that's not reality, unless of course the woman is continually flirting with him and/or boosting up her level of flirting with him.
A man shouldn't have to go around saying, "Hush, I'm taken" every 5 seconds. He should only make that clear in extreme situations. Plus, a man should also react accordingly depending on his girlfriend's level of comfortability. If he can clearly see that his girlfriend's face is turning red while another girl is flirting with him, he may not want to, BUT he should react a little bit more accordingly simply b/c he sees that she's uncomfortable. And if a man hasn't done anything wrong or doesn't plan on doing so, he should do what he has to do to make sure that his woman won't doubt him, even if she's not around when others flirt with him.
Flirting back is NEVER ok, but then again women going over board in marking their territories is also not ok too, especially since it all comes down to it being the MAN'S responsibility to make it known that he's taken. The man got hit on, not the girlfriend so the girlfriend should be quiet & wait on/expect her man to "take care of it." If he doesn't, that's a problem. But if he does, who cares about whether or not he "might" see her again or whatever. You've just gotta pick your battles
lol I love Toosie! haha
And lol @ this thread! QS nor her man did anything wrong, sheesh! She handled it with class, as did he. Could you imagine if he said something like, "excuse me but your comments are innapropriate"?!?! How corny would that be lol I dunno, but I like men of few words.
If you are secure in your relationship, there is no need to go around making a scene over some cashier chick. I would take what she said as a compliment, and keep it moving.
And lol @ this thread! QS nor her man did anything wrong, sheesh! She handled it with class, as did he. Could you imagine if he said something like, "excuse me but your comments are innapropriate"?!?! How corny would that be lol I dunno, but I like men of few words.
If you are secure in your relationship, there is no need to go around making a scene over some cashier chick. I would take what she said as a compliment, and keep it moving.
As far as the thread is concerned though, I think people need to choose their friends and men more wisely. I've heard stories like that and its just crazy. Reminds me of Monique on Queens of Comedy,"Ma..bitch you've got to go too" when she left her house and her man was there alone lol
I love my man getting to know my friends. I couldn't imagine having to worry about whether he was going to fuck one of em. Shit. I wish one of them would lol
I love my man getting to know my friends. I couldn't imagine having to worry about whether he was going to fuck one of em. Shit. I wish one of them would lol
"If I would have acted jealous or insecure, I would have been labeled just that. Instead, I'm labeled senseless, weak for staying with him and whatever other bullshit she said earlier. So it's like, which is it? What is the bigger demon? My insecurity or the fact that I trust a man, even just a little bit? She's gonna have something to say about me regardless, and the only time she'd ever say anything positive to me is if I treat her like the relationship guru that she THINKS she is. She shouldn't hold her breath because that's not likely to happen.
It's so amusing to me now, but kind of sad because at one point, I thought she was looking out for other women. As a 'happily engaged' woman, she sure don't radiate happiness 'in my opinion'.. since we're being so generous with handing out opinions."
LOL And here's a clue...Everything is not about you. I can have an opinion but of course if my opinion isn't kissing your ass and cheering you on then I'm somehow stepping on your toes. There are several others that have spoken that have an opinion yet I'm the only one you feel the need to step to and want to fight or attack or call names on the slick. You have never treated me like a relationship guru (again you tend to make things up as you go along). I am looking out for other women but of course you have this incessant need to devalue whatever I say b/c god forbid someone actually agrees with my statements so you go on this tirade of by saying LOOK EVERYONE SHE DIDN'T HELP ME LOL like I'm expected to help everyone and be right all the time and it's hilarious and childish.
I'm not radiating happiness to you b/c I'm not kissing your ass in every other post, I'm sure If I sung praise on a daily I wouldn't be met with so much hostility....Seems like you want me to coddle you and cheer you on and say it's okay to be a damn fool over a man, it's okay to be naive and play yourself, it's okay to overlook and ignore certain things. Is that what you want? Seems you want me to support you so bad that if I don't you have to diminish what I say.
Get over yourself and grow up, you are such a baby about this man, you have to defend and defend and fight and it's a huge indication that your relationship isn't all that great or you would let people have there own opinions and stop trying to fight every woman that see holes through your story, it's funny how you say something and then you start to trickle down information to dispute everything a person says.
It's so amusing to me now, but kind of sad because at one point, I thought she was looking out for other women. As a 'happily engaged' woman, she sure don't radiate happiness 'in my opinion'.. since we're being so generous with handing out opinions."
LOL And here's a clue...Everything is not about you. I can have an opinion but of course if my opinion isn't kissing your ass and cheering you on then I'm somehow stepping on your toes. There are several others that have spoken that have an opinion yet I'm the only one you feel the need to step to and want to fight or attack or call names on the slick. You have never treated me like a relationship guru (again you tend to make things up as you go along). I am looking out for other women but of course you have this incessant need to devalue whatever I say b/c god forbid someone actually agrees with my statements so you go on this tirade of by saying LOOK EVERYONE SHE DIDN'T HELP ME LOL like I'm expected to help everyone and be right all the time and it's hilarious and childish.
I'm not radiating happiness to you b/c I'm not kissing your ass in every other post, I'm sure If I sung praise on a daily I wouldn't be met with so much hostility....Seems like you want me to coddle you and cheer you on and say it's okay to be a damn fool over a man, it's okay to be naive and play yourself, it's okay to overlook and ignore certain things. Is that what you want? Seems you want me to support you so bad that if I don't you have to diminish what I say.
Get over yourself and grow up, you are such a baby about this man, you have to defend and defend and fight and it's a huge indication that your relationship isn't all that great or you would let people have there own opinions and stop trying to fight every woman that see holes through your story, it's funny how you say something and then you start to trickle down information to dispute everything a person says.
Well honestly, who would really admit to B or C?
My bff has left me alone with her bf several times before. I go after other girls guys tho. I don't like the idea of having an enemy let alone losing a friend so I always close my body off and make minimal conversation.
Psh and you all thought sagis were the bad guys 😛
Psh and you all thought sagis were the bad guys 😛
Oh you guys kill me. Whether I used the "clerk" example or not, you got the point--you knew what I was trying to say. All that matters is that regardless of whose hitting on your partner, you've got to pick your battles. Access the situation, trust your partner to handle any bait thrown at them & react accordingly. Boom!
I agree with what someone said above. It's not about not trusting yourself or the other person. It's about respect. And some things are done out of "respect" even if there's no underlying evil intention/motive. The only thing worse than actually having something going on is giving others the assumption that something is going on. It's not about catering to someone else's insecurities; it's about not putting yourself in positions that would easily allow for others to come to come to false conclusions. After all, it shouldn't necessarily hurt you to follow the "respect" creed.
My husband wouldn't appreciate another man in the house while he's not home unless the man is a family member or friend that he knows. But if he came home & saw me just "chatting it up" with some guy he doesn't know, that would be disrespectful. Sure, I trust myself enough to know that even if my own ex stopped by, nothing would happen b/w us but still, when you get in a relationship it's no longer about just you; you have to take into consideration another person's level of comfortability with certain things. And if you can't handle that, relationships aren't for you.
If my man didn't fend off women who are trying to throw bait at him, I wouldn't look down on the woman, I'd be the most disappointed & angry with my man. There's a reason some women are bold enough to hit on a man that's taken even while his girl is standing there. It's b/c there are some men who are actually DUMB enough to fall for the bait. Sometimes the other woman doesn't even care or want your man; she's just getting a kick out of the fact that yet ANOTHER man fell for it & even worse, while his girl was around! I can't tell you how many times I've been stared down by a man who was out shopping with his wife & kids right by his side. SAD!
I agree with what someone said above. It's not about not trusting yourself or the other person. It's about respect. And some things are done out of "respect" even if there's no underlying evil intention/motive. The only thing worse than actually having something going on is giving others the assumption that something is going on. It's not about catering to someone else's insecurities; it's about not putting yourself in positions that would easily allow for others to come to come to false conclusions. After all, it shouldn't necessarily hurt you to follow the "respect" creed.
My husband wouldn't appreciate another man in the house while he's not home unless the man is a family member or friend that he knows. But if he came home & saw me just "chatting it up" with some guy he doesn't know, that would be disrespectful. Sure, I trust myself enough to know that even if my own ex stopped by, nothing would happen b/w us but still, when you get in a relationship it's no longer about just you; you have to take into consideration another person's level of comfortability with certain things. And if you can't handle that, relationships aren't for you.
If my man didn't fend off women who are trying to throw bait at him, I wouldn't look down on the woman, I'd be the most disappointed & angry with my man. There's a reason some women are bold enough to hit on a man that's taken even while his girl is standing there. It's b/c there are some men who are actually DUMB enough to fall for the bait. Sometimes the other woman doesn't even care or want your man; she's just getting a kick out of the fact that yet ANOTHER man fell for it & even worse, while his girl was around! I can't tell you how many times I've been stared down by a man who was out shopping with his wife & kids right by his side. SAD!
Posted by tooseriouslol
.... unless we have a legal biding of course then i'll sue his arse ...
huh?
Posted by QuietSt0rm
Like yesterday my cap took me on a shopping spree and one of the sales chicks was joking like "you can drop her off, come back later and take me on a shopping spree too!" and I was just laughing along with her.
Is this what you said that got peoples panties properly wadded up their buttcracks?
wow, that is just friendly banter .. in fact, it's kind of a compliment. It was the clerks way of showing that she recognizes that he's golden. Sort of like when a woman gets impressed and awed over your man and asks if he has a brother.
That ^^^^^ represents clearly that she LIKES your man .. however, there is no ill intent involved to warrant you to get jealous .. it's a compliment.
Good job QuietStorm ... you handled yourself perfectly. If you or him had said something to come off as protective, territorial or possessive then you would have only made yourselves look like fools .. for the girl was clearly making it known that she thought it was cool that he was buying his woman stuff.
Posted by PurpleDiamond
My man has a responsibilty to me and I expect him to do his job whether it involves other women, men, whoever he's suppose to respect me. If that were me and my exboyfriend my ex would have put that clerk in her place I wouldn't have had to say anything. Women are bold but its not a battle for me to fight, he belongs to me and if he isn't letting that be known and acting in ways that reflect that, then its no longer about the other woman but him. She can only do what he allows.
That ^^^^ on the other hand is fucked up.
A person belongs to nobody .. and the fact that you have such an immature attitude like that is likely the reason you'd have to resort to pulling your panties out of your ass in public.
There's a huge difference between a woman liking your man personally .. and liking the kind of man he is.
Sounds like some women need to learn this difference .. for I guess it's so mingled up in their minds that they would take offense to a person who complimented them.
Sounds like some women need to learn this difference .. for I guess it's so mingled up in their minds that they would take offense to a person who complimented them.
As for the topic of the thread ... I wouldn't care.
My husband has tons of female friends, some of them are my friends ... there's been times I've come home from work and he's sitting on the couch with my girlfriend, and she'd been there for hours, and they're drinking wine, laughing.
So the fuck what ... friends are allowed to do that.
People need to get over themselves ... for real.
My husband has tons of female friends, some of them are my friends ... there's been times I've come home from work and he's sitting on the couch with my girlfriend, and she'd been there for hours, and they're drinking wine, laughing.
So the fuck what ... friends are allowed to do that.
People need to get over themselves ... for real.
Posted by P-Angel
There's a huge difference between a woman liking your man personally .. and liking the kind of man he is.
I like that, and yes, there is a huge difference! If a woman sees a man being a gentleman to his lady and comments on it, it doesn't automatically mean she wants your man; as so precisely stated she is "liking the kind of man he is."
Posted by P-Angel
As for the topic of the thread ... I wouldn't care.
My husband has tons of female friends, some of them are my friends ... there's been times I've come home from work and he's sitting on the couch with my girlfriend, and she'd been there for hours, and they're drinking wine, laughing.
So the fuck what ... friends are allowed to do that.
People need to get over themselves ... for real.
what if you walked in and your female friend was licking the salt off your husbands personal peanuts?
You guys still listen to P-Angel?! (Laughs hysterically). She's the only person in the world that purposely goes to all the threads she hates (by her own admission). Smh
Posted by aquagirl24
hey theres nothing wrong in being jealous! as if it is a bad thing. fuck them. yeah am jealous and proud!
And we see why the world is so fucked up ... because people are proud of possessing a characteristic that leads nowhere except destruction.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by QuietSt0rm
Like yesterday my cap took me on a shopping spree and one of the sales chicks was joking like "you can drop her off, come back later and take me on a shopping spree too!" and I was just laughing along with her.
Is this what you said that got peoples panties properly wadded up their buttcracks?
wow, that is just friendly banter .. in fact, it's kind of a compliment. It was the clerks way of showing that she recognizes that he's golden. Sort of like when a woman gets impressed and awed over your man and asks if he has a brother.
That ^^^^^ represents clearly that she LIKES your man .. however, there is no ill intent involved to warrant you to get jealous .. it's a compliment.
Good job QuietStorm ... you handled yourself perfectly. If you or him had said something to come off as protective, territorial or possessive then you would have only made yourselves look like fools .. for the girl was clearly making it known that she thought it was cool that he was buying his woman stuff.click to expand
I actually agree with P-Angel here... I didn't see what the big deal was about all this.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by aquagirl24
hey theres nothing wrong in being jealous! as if it is a bad thing. fuck them. yeah am jealous and proud!
And we see why the world is so fucked up ... because people are proud of possessing a characteristic that leads nowhere except destruction.click to expand
Damn, twice in one morning... I need more coffee!
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