do men value or just take advantage of a woman. ..

Who "holds them down". Like a women who helps them when they need itmm who are always there to love and support them?

we absolutely do. Every good man should know to value a woman and respect her as he would his mother.
A man needs a supportive woman no matter how much a man doesnt show it.

Behind every great man there's a great woman.

I think even the most "good" man is guilty of taking advantage of his woman or others sometimes

That's human nature. Any time you get too much or too little of something, people lose respect for it or take advantage of it. The same goes for getting benefits you didn't earn. Women are def. guilty of this too

I think it's about moderation with a man. He doesn't want you to never be there for him or never meet his needs but then again he doesn't want a live-in maid or a doormat either

Most men respect women who know how to say "No," do the things they can for them w/o breaking their back for them.

It's kind of like giving a non-personalized or random gift. If you're used to getting it every single month or year, it's a lot easier over time for the gift to loose it's value. But if someone surprises you & personalizes their gift, it feels more like it's coming from the HEART & not so much just b/c it's expected of you or is your "job."

Another example is children. If you let them get away with too much b/c you're trying so desperately to be their "friend" or not make an enemy out of them, it'll backfire in the long run b/c they'll just run all over you.

OR the child who gets everything they want w/o ever having to earn it or work for it. Eventually, the child will be spoiled & non-appreciative of the things they have, not b/c they don't love you or literally not appreciate it but b/c even children can agree that some things feel better when they've earned them as opposed to being given everything no matter what.

I'm not comparing men to children, just saying that this is a skill we learned in childhood, & sometimes it can carry over into adulthood if a person is under the same "get away with murder

There's a reason spontaneous things/gifts/adventures somehow feel better & more appreciated

It's 1 thing to come through for your man in diehard situations but if you find yourself always having to clean up his messes, always breaking your back for him, & if this is lasting from month to month to month or year to year, you're probably doing too much & should somewhat expect that your efforts aren't 100% appreciated like you'd want.

So many women kill themselves trying to prove that they are "loyal": or that "ride or die" we've been told that all men want, that they FORGET that men ALSO say that they DON'T want a "doormat," or "maid."

BUT if the guy isn't that into you, isn't looking/ready for commitment, is a player, or just an all around bad person, yes expect that no matter how much good you do, you'll get taken advantage of.

Expecting a man like that to not take advantage of you is like expecting a thief to clean out your purse if you leave $ 100 sticking out of it

So again, I think the average "good" man can be guilty sometimes on occassion of taking advantage but the "bad" guy will make taking advantage of you a pattern. That's how you'll know the difference

I'm really confused by "who holds them down". Is this an all American expression? What is the English equivalent, please?

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by Undine
I'm really confused by "who holds them down". Is this an all American expression? What is the English equivalent, please?

Yes. Basically someone who has your back, or is there for you even you need them. Through thick and thin. Through the good times and the bad times.

click to expand

Thanks. I was imagining someone pushing his/her partners head in the toilette.

Posted by Undine
I'm really confused by "who holds them down". Is this an all American expression? What is the English equivalent, please?

LOL! Ya know, someone who is like a parent, family member or best friend in that they have your back, support you & would do anything for you no matter what.

"Hold you down" means genuine & unfaltering loyalty that can't be swayed from any outsiders. Bonnie & Clyde =)