Getting caught..

Why do some men lie when they cheat? Or just lie when they're caught lying? If a you got into an arguement with your partner and y'all decided to end things, would you come clean? What's a good way to tell if a man is lying?

If you*

I think with the majority of men, their first response is always to lie. Why start an argument or upset someone..

At the end of the day, they have convinced themselves of the truth the way they see it and they strongly believe they can convince you 2.

Some people (men and women) cheat and lie about it because they don't care about your feelings. They realize that their cheating was wrong and know you'd be upset. Rather than admit their faults, they lie. Many people have trouble with accepting personal responsibility and lack integrity. That's why people talk about being "pushed" to cheat too. It has to be someone else's fault.

Take that general over entitled attitude we have in America, and apply it to the dating world. That's why we're such whores and liars. It's all about me, right here, right now. Consequences and other people's feelings be damned!

Posted by LibraSid
Some people (men and women) cheat and lie about it because they don't care about your feelings. They realize that their cheating was wrong and know you'd be upset. Rather than admit their faults, they lie. Many people have trouble with accepting personal responsibility and lack integrity. That's why people talk about being "pushed" to cheat too. It has to be someone else's fault.

Take that general over entitled attitude we have in America, and apply it to the dating world. That's why we're such whores and liars. It's all about me, right here, right now. Consequences and other people's feelings be damned!

so true

Posted by DMV
I think with the majority of men, their first response is always to lie. Why start an argument or upset someone..

At the end of the day, they have convinced themselves of the truth the way they see it and they strongly believe they can convince you 2.

Agree.

Posted by LibraSid
Some people (men and women) cheat and lie about it because they don't care about your feelings. They realize that their cheating was wrong and know you'd be upset. Rather than admit their faults, they lie. Many people have trouble with accepting personal responsibility and lack integrity. That's why people talk about being "pushed" to cheat too. It has to be someone else's fault.

Take that general over entitled attitude we have in America, and apply it to the dating world. That's why we're such whores and liars. It's all about me, right here, right now. Consequences and other people's feelings be damned!

omg +5879436758476890274675099210

Both genders can be guilty, but in regard to guys, I blame a little of the parents spoiling the shit out of their children, and a little bit on moms being a bit guilty of over indulging their little boys because moms just do that shit with little boys. In turn, they go out into the real world with the same approach toward women overall. Maybe if mom slapped the shit out of him when he was being a shit head when he wanted that Power Ranger, he wouldn't be a lying, cheating douche bag toward others. Afterall, while growing up, that approach got him what he wanted, so he continues to do so.

Overall, I absolutely cringe when I see parents child worshipping and letting their kid manipulate them into getting what they want. It's created the clusterfuck our society is becoming- reality evading, self absorbed, responsibility skirting assholes.

Also, some cheaters dont want to lose their partner over cheating. to them, its not a major thing to cause a breakup. Cheating to them is like forgetting your bday or something. its not that big of a deal, so they lie.

In fact, i remember having a conversation about cheating. and a Cancer man said that women are crazy to drop a good man over cheating. If the guy is good to you in every other aspect, why throw that away. he drew the line when it came to stealing. he said he couldnt get over that one, but cheating wasnt a big deal. so what the guy wants to have sex with another women, that doesnt mean he doesnt love you.

at times, i was angry at myself for half agreeing with him. ya know? If a guy is doing everything he can for you, he loves you, provides for you, why dump him for succumbing to ass once in a while? are we really supposed to be one one partner forever?

Posted by xy
DMV- Was the cancer okay if his partner did the same thing?

I think if both parties agree to it, it's okay.

i dont remember. i just really focused on him saying that a woman shouldnt drop a good man just cause he got some p***y on the side. lol

But i agree, its a 2 way street.

im just wondering that if we, as women, are conditioned to believe that cheating is the end all be all. Ive never been placed in this situation, so my opinion is kinda skewed.

In my opinion, what's the use of being in a relationship if you're going to fuck around? When your in a relationship, it's not us and other people. It's just. If man is in a relationship with me, that means his dick is mines. When you decide to fuck outside of the relationship, or decide that my pussy is no longer good to you, then you need to go. If a man wants to fuck around, then he needs to date instead of being in a committed relationship.

Just us*

Posted by Noreallynow
In my opinion, what's the use of being in a relationship if you're going to fuck around? When your in a relationship, it's not us and other people. It's just. If man is in a relationship with me, that means his dick is mines. When you decide to fuck outside of the relationship, or decide that my pussy is no longer good to you, then you need to go. If a man wants to fuck around, then he needs to date instead of being in a committed relationship.

playing devils advocate

do you think as a society are we just conditioned to believe that sex is so special and so sacred that it should have limits as to who can have it and with whom? at the end of the day, it is a reproductive tool.

is cheating a dealbreaker? why is love attached to sex? Would you break up with someone over sex? lets say everything else is exactly how you want it.

Posted by tiziani
You're an Aries right? Seems in general Fire Signs give a lot of value to sex. It's just sex. His penis is not symbolic of ownership in anyway that your genitalia is - and I think we've all had enough experiences to prove that much.

naw scorpio. as a sag, sex is justtttt sex.

leos place a huge emphasis on sex.

Posted by xy

Posted by DMV
im just wondering that if we, as women, are conditioned to believe that cheating is the end all be all. Ive never been placed in this situation, so my opinion is kinda skewed.

I guess culture and parents has major influence.

Cheating like all things can be worked on. It depends how dedicated everyone is to work on the relationship.

click to expand

yup, i totally agree

Posted by DMV

Posted by Noreallynow
In my opinion, what's the use of being in a relationship if you're going to fuck around? When your in a relationship, it's not us and other people. It's just. If man is in a relationship with me, that means his dick is mines. When you decide to fuck outside of the relationship, or decide that my pussy is no longer good to you, then you need to go. If a man wants to fuck around, then he needs to date instead of being in a committed relationship.

playing devils advocate

do you think as a society are we just conditioned to believe that sex is so special and so sacred that it should have limits as to who can have it and with whom? at the end of the day, it is a reproductive tool.

Noo-- quite the opposite.

It seems like a free for all, here lately. 😛

Posted by starlover
On the cheating thing......truth always outs

It does!

Something about that kind of transgression against another person-- can't stay hidden forever.

Posted by Noreallynow
When your in a relationship, it's not us and other people.

It's just US.

click to expand

+1

Love the way you worded that.

Posted by Noreallynow
In my opinion, what's the use of being in a relationship if you're going to fuck around? When your in a relationship, it's not us and other people. It's just. If man is in a relationship with me, that means his dick is mines. When you decide to fuck outside of the relationship, or decide that my pussy is no longer good to you, then you need to go. If a man wants to fuck around, then he needs to date instead of being in a committed relationship.

Mine*


No need to sound like an illiterate hoodrat.

Posted by xy

Posted by DMV
im just wondering that if we, as women, are conditioned to believe that cheating is the end all be all. Ive never been placed in this situation, so my opinion is kinda skewed.

I guess culture and parents has major influence.

Cheating like all things can be worked on. It depends how dedicated everyone is to work on the relationship.

click to expand

No. Once a cheater, always a cheater. This is why guys do it to begin with- too many women turn doormat status about it, so they know they can get away with it. She'll take him back like a dumb ass because someone keeps perpetuating the myth that shit like that can be worked out.

It may have worked 60-70 years ago, but it was a different era where people weren't the self absorbed, all about me assholes that their children raised.

Posted by tiziani
"Something about that kind of transgression against another person-- can't stay hidden forever."


very true, but again in my experience that kind of truth only comes about because of something deeper than sex.

I agree... the infidelity begins long before the act imo.

On a mental-emotional level, I mean.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Noreallynow
In my opinion, what's the use of being in a relationship if you're going to fuck around? When your in a relationship, it's not us and other people. It's just. If man is in a relationship with me, that means his dick is mines. When you decide to fuck outside of the relationship, or decide that my pussy is no longer good to you, then you need to go. If a man wants to fuck around, then he needs to date instead of being in a committed relationship.

Mine*


No need to sound like an illiterate hoodrat.

click to expand

that was rude rocky.

now emotional cheating, i will leave in a heartbeat!

Posted by xy
I think it's easier to outkast these people than to actually understand them. Just like everything else really.

Drunks, druggies and cheaters. Loss causes I guess.

Life's too short to waste psychoanalyzing someone in a dysfunctional relationship.

That is not what relationships are for.

If both are willing, fine. From all the instances I've heard of, the guy is only sorry and willing to try because he got caught, not because he's suddenly had an epiphany that what he did was wrong.

She's only willing to give it a chance because life is meaningless without that dick in her hand.

Personally, I have no idea why silly bitches want to try to "understand" the reasons that this person is a douche cheater. He/she clearly didn't respect you or your relationship and was only thinking of themselves. Other than the usual "omg wtf did I do wrong for them to do this?" response that happens, the rest is self explanatory. I dunno about you, but I prefer not to waste any more of my time on someone who doesn't have enough respect for me to keep his dick in his pants.

Besides, it's hard to have a normally functioning relationship when the trust is gone. To fool oneself into thinking you can fix it is a bigger task than most realize.

It's all exceptions anymore in the current state that society is, not the rule. ...as sad as that is.

Posted by DMV

is cheating a dealbreaker? why is love attached to sex? Would you break up with someone over sex? lets say everything else is exactly how you want it.

Ultimately that depends on the relationship you have. Most people are talking about exclusive monogamous relationships. Sex is tied in by definition. If you aren't in a sexually exclusive relationship, it wouldn't matter. In that type of relationship, cheating is a deal breaker because you broke the damn deal, otherwise it's called swinging, or whatever else.

What do you mean "break up over sex"? Just bad sex, maybe they are a freak and you're not, maybe they hate to be kissed and you love it? If you can't fix the issue or find a spot where you're both happy, there's gonna be problems.

It's not just about sex either though. The sex is just one of the things I'm personally look for. Intelligence is another (there's a bunch of them). Switch the question. Everything including the sex is amazing, but they are dumb...like 'hard to talk to' dumb. I'd dump that person. The sex problems are a lot more fun to work on so I may have more patience. But yeah sure, if the person ain't what you're looking for, let it go.

Posted by DMV

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Noreallynow
In my opinion, what's the use of being in a relationship if you're going to fuck around? When your in a relationship, it's not us and other people. It's just. If man is in a relationship with me, that means his dick is mines. When you decide to fuck outside of the relationship, or decide that my pussy is no longer good to you, then you need to go. If a man wants to fuck around, then he needs to date instead of being in a committed relationship.

Mine*


No need to sound like an illiterate hoodrat.

that was rude rocky.

click to expand

It's perfectly acceptable to slur words a tad and display higher than usual aggression when laying claim to your man's dick.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by DMV

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Noreallynow
In my opinion, what's the use of being in a relationship if you're going to fuck around? When your in a relationship, it's not us and other people. It's just. If man is in a relationship with me, that means his dick is mines. When you decide to fuck outside of the relationship, or decide that my pussy is no longer good to you, then you need to go. If a man wants to fuck around, then he needs to date instead of being in a committed relationship.

Mine*


No need to sound like an illiterate hoodrat.

that was rude rocky.

It's perfectly acceptable to slur words a tad and display higher than usual aggression when laying claim to your man's dick.

click to expand

Bwahaha.

Oh how I love your sense of humor.

Posted by tiziani
You're an Aries right? Seems in general Fire Signs give a lot of value to sex. It's just sex. His penis is not symbolic of ownership in anyway that your genitalia is - and I think we've all had enough experiences to prove that much.

I said that because "getting some on the side" was mentioned. So, I figured it was about sex.

I don't base a relationship on sex. I would not go there if there is no emotional connection or trust. Yes, I know that there are people out there that are just messing around. I don't place sex on a pedestal when it comes to being in a committed relationship. I don't have sex unless I'm in a committed relationship.

so, what y'all are thinking, is completely wrong.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by DMV

is cheating a dealbreaker? why is love attached to sex? Would you break up with someone over sex? lets say everything else is exactly how you want it.

Ultimately that depends on the relationship you have. Most people are talking about exclusive monogamous relationships. Sex is tied in by definition. If you aren't in a sexually exclusive relationship, it wouldn't matter. In that type of relationship, cheating is a deal breaker because you broke the damn deal, otherwise it's called swinging, or whatever else.

What do you mean "break up over sex"? Just bad sex, maybe they are a freak and you're not, maybe they hate to be kissed and you love it? If you can't fix the issue or find a spot where you're both happy, there's gonna be problems.

It's not just about sex either though. The sex is just one of the things I'm personally look for. Intelligence is another (there's a bunch of them). Switch the question. Everything including the sex is amazing, but they are dumb...like 'hard to talk to' dumb. I'd dump that person. The sex problems are a lot more fun to work on so I may have more patience. But yeah sure, if the person ain't what you're looking for, let it go.

click to expand

+1000

I guess im having trouble grasping how people can say that sex is not a major part of their relationship, yet leave a person for them having sex with another person.

idk.

Posted by cheekyfaerie
Sid hit the nail on the head for me.

I can have sex and just have sex, but all deals are off in a relationship. That's when sex is about the bonding. Part of the bond in a committed relationship is truth. Doing right by yourself and the other person can seem like an oxymoron, but that's why finding the right person is so important. The right person for me will need to share the value I put on honesty. Cheating is the opposite of honesty.

+1000000000

Posted by DMV
I guess im having trouble grasping how people can say that sex is not a major part of their relationship, yet leave a person for them having sex with another person.

idk.

Idk either... Hmmmm...