Hopeless Romantic or Childish Behaviour?

I am a pretty shy guy and I have been dating this girl for a while but have never explicitly expressed by feelings for her. Lately, I feel that it is the right time to let my feelings be known to her and I wrote her a couple of cards expressing my feelings for her and depending on the options she chooses (from the different cards), she would have to post back only one of the cards back to me so that I would know her feelings towards me. The cards has only two options, i.e she likes me romantically or she does not.

Do you think it is childish to do this rather than expressing it up front face to face?

yes and no. there is definitely something of a youthful approach to it but you're also expressing creativity.

normally i am the type that prefers directness but should you have a more creative way of going about it then i am game for that too!

Personally, I'd find this very endearing. Perhaps I am just a hopeless romantic, but I find something so honest about written words. Like Ninjamu, I also admire directness, but I think this is very creative and a fun way to spice things up a little. If your girl is a fun-loving, open-minded person, I think she would love this. If she isn't, it can't hurt to try anyway. If all else fails, talk to her directly before you doing anything else.

Thanks ladies for the insights on this. Very much appreciated. I think most people would prefer directness, I would prefer directness too. I am only expressive when I pen down my thoughts and I want it to be fun so that even if her feelings are not reciprocated, we can still remain as friends without feeling the awkwardness.

I think if she knows you as a confident person, she'll see it for what it is! Original and creative!

If she has noticed insecurities in you in general and feels like you may not have the guts to express yourself verbally, I think she may find it childish.

Posted by spritescream
Thanks ladies for the insights on this. Very much appreciated. I think most people would prefer directness, I would prefer directness too. I am only expressive when I pen down my thoughts and I want it to be fun so that even if her feelings are not reciprocated, we can still remain as friends without feeling the awkwardness.

I think it was more romantic.

The yes/no part may seem a little childish, but of course that's b/c when I 1st read it, I thought back to highschool days when someone told you to circle "yes or no" after asking you to be their boyfriend/girlfriend =P

The fact that you're better with written communication isn't at all a bad thing. Alot of people are like that. And hopefully she'll grow to understand & appreciate this about you

I think she'll love it since she's probably not used to such a thing. I mean what you did takes alot of creativity & shows effort & hey, that's what most girls WISH their boyfriends/crushes would be like

Yeah I think it would really depend on who you are and who she is. If it was from someone who I knew was totally secure and confident in himself, it would be sweet, playful and romantic. If it was done because he didn't have the balls to actually SAY it, and he's insecure in other ways, it'd be a huge turn off and I'd think it was very childish.

Posted by Norcalman67
To spritescream:
Expressing oneself deeply to someone makes you very vulnerable...which is why you asked your question in the first place.

Having been around the block for a few decades I've 'Generally' never express my thoughts in written form except for in a card and then only with couched words. But,...if you think she is the one, and you are semi sure she's interested-let her know.

Note: Girls "Do" like to know exactly where they stand with a guy.

The only true regrets, are not the things you did wrong, (there's always forgiveness) it's the things you Did Not "Do" that will haunt you.

My advice-let her know your beginning to fall head over feet.

Amazingly, for her, I don't mind exposing my vulnerability, I mean there's no vulnerableness to expressing my feelings. I am very sure she's the one that would fit into my life and yes it is more of something that I want to do than regretting not doing it.

Its always good to hear other people's views/opinions.

To the ladies who thinks that if I lack confidence and expressing myself in this manner, I am absolutely not in that category. So thank you all ladies for your inputs! It is indeed refreshing!

Posted by krysrenee7

Posted by spritescream
Thanks ladies for the insights on this. Very much appreciated. I think most people would prefer directness, I would prefer directness too. I am only expressive when I pen down my thoughts and I want it to be fun so that even if her feelings are not reciprocated, we can still remain as friends without feeling the awkwardness.

I think it was more romantic.

The yes/no part may seem a little childish, but of course that's b/c when I 1st read it, I thought back to highschool days when someone told you to circle "yes or no" after asking you to be their boyfriend/girlfriend =P

The fact that you're better with written communication isn't at all a bad thing. Alot of people are like that. And hopefully she'll grow to understand & appreciate this about you

I think she'll love it since she's probably not used to such a thing. I mean what you did takes alot of creativity & shows effort & hey, that's what most girls WISH their boyfriends/crushes would be like

click to expand

Most important of all, I enjoyed the process of preparing for the cards, running many places to get a certain card which would depict my true emotions and getting all fuzzy feelings which is rare occurrence for someone like me. I've been known to friends in my social circle that I need noone in my life and the girl thinks so too. She made me want to put in efforts without expecting any kind of outcome.

@Sprites: Well aren't you Mr. Lovely?! Oh boy, I'll tell ya, MOST (if not all) women probably wish their companions/crushes would put THAT kind/much thought into gifts/presents for them. Hell it's hard enough getting the average man to actually remember to sign the damn card after he buys it, let alone shop 5 different places for it! She'd be a fool to let you go or knock you for your effort! And if she does knock you, she'll 1 day wish her future man would put 1'2 the effort into gifts for her like you did!

I normally don't refer to women as B's but she'd be a spoiled rotten little B if she actually looked down on you or knocked you for what you've done for her!

Posted by QuietSt0rm
Loves it! Not childish at all.

What is her sign, do you know?

She's a capricorn, 15th Jan.

It sounds like you've romanticized the idea .. which is never a good sign.

Because there will be an outcome.



You know ... what is important isn't the wedding = it's the marriage




((((How)))) you present your feelings to her matters highly in your own head .. if as much effort was put into how you plan on loving her .. then you might be valuable. As it stands, you've so romanticized the idea of presentation of your feelings, that you've lost all credibility in viewing Her as special.

Posted by P-Angel
It sounds like you've romanticized the idea .. which is never a good sign.

Because there will be an outcome.



You know ... what is important isn't the wedding = it's the marriage




((((How)))) you present your feelings to her matters highly in your own head .. if as much effort was put into how you plan on loving her .. then you might be valuable. As it stands, you've so romanticized the idea of presentation of your feelings, that you've lost all credibility in viewing Her as special.

I think loving someone if you really love that person, don't require any effort at all because anything you do would come naturally and not feel like you have to make any effort if you get what I mean. She's definitely someone special and whatever the outcome, it is not important. The focus is not about her response. If its a positive response, then its good. If its not, then its good too because there is at least a response. This may seem like a selfish act of wanting to just get my feelings across but loving someone starts with oneself first.

Posted by BelovedAssata
Hey, got a question...what if you give her the cards...have your sweet message and all..and she doesn't react in the way that you wanted her to...what then?


I think your approach though sweet, it's playing it safe. You cannot tell someone you have deep feelings for them, indirectly unless you're a secret admirer/stalker type person(hint: You're not.)

I think it'd be much more sexy/effective, to do that on an anniversary or on a random day when you guys are already established in a relationship..NOT when you're "taking it to the next level"

If you act childish and shy, that shit isn't sexy, I personally would find it cute, but it wouldn't get me excited for the guy. And I LIKE shy guys. I personally would be like, 'awww..that's nice." And follow that with.."I think you're a great guy and all but..."


Be a man..tell her how you feel about her. If she doesn't feel the same way, then that's the breaks. It will hurt, but you'll get over it. And you'd have an ace, bewtter than most guys. Think about it, how sexy would that be for a woman, to see her 'normally" shy guy-friend suddenly speak forthrightly with his feelings about her, being confident, etc.

Just reaadjust your approach..and stop being so scarey.

As I have told Beloved-P, the point is not expecting any kind of results. Just do and be, there should not be any what then or what's next. Life still continues on and I don't think there would be any awkwardness because we are both matured adults and it should not affect anything much.

Hopeless Romantic or Childish Behaviour?




Well, you got the hopeless right .. because that is what you described when you said you didn't care what the outcome was.

women don't really want hopeless romantics anyway .... so you are in luck.


the day you decide to be a hopeful romantic, is the day that you might actually about her feelings and not just yours for the sake of making yourself feel special about giving.