Double standards

Ugh, don't you just hate them!!?

It's ok for a man to sleep with 100 girls. The more women he sleeps with, the more other men/society gives him a pat on the back. But if a woman sleeps with 99 guys, she's considered a hoe or she must somehow have "daddy issues." If she sleeps with lots of men, people recommend she needs counseling

It's ok for a man to cheat. If he does, he's called "human" or being told that his actions are as a result of something hardwired into his nature. But if a woman cheats, a man doesn't want to hear the "I'm human/we all make mistakes" line(s). No one likes to accept the fact that some women can be just like men in that they cheat simply b/c they "just wanted to" or "could."

Men convince women all the time that they can have sex with many people w/o ever allowing their emotions to get involved or take over, but yet when a woman tries to get her groove on (simply b/c she enjoys sex), no one believes her when she TOO claims that sex & her emotions are NOT intertwined together.

It's ok for a man to leave his girlfriend/wife b/c she let herself go (weight wise), won't have sex with him as much, etc. but yet a woman is called "ungrateful" if she leaves her man whose balding, gaining weight or letting himself go.

Damn you double standards!

Women are supposed to be attracted to men who work, are independent & who have the ability to lead, protect & provide, but yet the minute some men see women doing the same things, they get intimidated and/or prefer a more submissive/dependent partner.

I've got men's backs on certain issues too! For instance, if a man hits a woman, no one in society wants to hear his excuses, no matter how good they may be. No matter what, he's either going to jail, is labled a woman beater/abuser or is forced by law to stay away. But when a woman puts her hands on a man for whatever reason, people are more willing to listen to her reasons why, even though they just got done telling that very same woman that abuse is NEVER ok, no matter what the reason. If a woman gives a man a black eye, she's not seen as the ultimate threat to other guys, BUT if a man barely puts his hands on a woman, the entire community puts ups bulletins of his face & warns the entire world to stay away from him! People will say, "Well if she hit a man, it's b/c he must've done something really bad." BULL. Some women are cowards, need to learn to pick on someone their own size & keep their hands to themselves, just like men need to learn how to do!

If a man cusses like a sailor, smokes or can chug 3 bottles of beer, he's patted on his back & called "macho" or told that that's what men do. But if a woman does those things, she's told that she's being "unlady-like."

If a woman cries, people convince her that it's ok to cry, since human beings naturally need to vent/get out all their emotional frustrations. But if a man cries (even during circumstances that are understandable that he cry), society calls him a punk, too sensitive/soft and/or that he's not "man" enough. Wait, I thought it was natural for HUMANS (meaning BOTH men & women) to be brought to tears/cry?!

It's WW3 when a woman gains weight, gets a few stretch marks, stops wanting sex as much, gets a few wrinkles, etc. But if a man gets a beer belly, gets wrinkles, starts balding, etc. men expect for their partners to overlook those things for the sake of "love." Some men want you to be willing to still be with them/take care of them even if they lose a limb, but yet some men can't even handle 1 extra stretchmark every 2-3 years!

If a man walks around with his shirt off or half way open (trying to show off/flaunt his body), people call him sexy & don't blaim him for being confident enough to do so. But if a woman walks around with revealing clothing on with the SAME intention (to flaunt what she's got), people automatically assume she must be desperate for attention, is a slxt and/or has self-esteem issues.

^^^ preach it girl 🙂

I think that double standards are a spin off of Evolutionary Psychology/Natural Selection. Physical features and certian behaviors evolve/remain idle because it helps humans survive the challenges of the environment.

I must be in the minority here. I'm ok with some double standards. They're based on something...they didn't just come out of the blue so I can understand when people have them. Doesn't mean they're automatically right, but I get it.

Hmmm, double standards, hmmmmm


"Real Men Don't Cry" is something I have heard from the female side of the equation. There a lots of fine examples of females placing expectations on men that are a double standard. If you happen to be the least bit effeminate, "Oh, he makes my skin crawl!" would be another fine example.


Just a thought to keep in the back of your minds. You to can be packing lots of such double standards, but not think of them as such, but, in reality, that is exactly what they are.

Posted by Shadows
I must be in the minority here. I'm ok with some double standards. They're based on something...they didn't just come out of the blue so I can understand when people have them. Doesn't mean they're automatically right, but I get it.

I get it; I somewhat agree. Same goes with stereotypes. There's def a REASON people are stereotypes, BUT before we really put too much thought into them we must remember that even though alot of people fit into those categories that they're still stereotypes (meaning someone will always be the exception).

Double standards can absolutely become a problem in relationships. Even the most loving, adorable & caring person might turn things sour when you realize that their expectations (or lack thereof) were birthed through way of double standards.

Posted by dofacc
"Real Men Don't Cry" is something I have heard from the female side of the equation. There a lots of fine examples of females placing expectations on men that are a double standard. If you happen to be the least bit effeminate, "Oh, he makes my skin crawl!" would be another fine example.
.

I've heard both men & women (mainly men) say this.

I've seen alot of single mothers making their small male children feel like crap for crying. I hear "Suck it up" or "Be a big boy & stop all that crying" all the time. I hear the same things coming out of father's mouths too.

I've seen some women literally get turned off to the max when they see a man cry, even if he had a good reason for crying. Granted, I can't lie, I'd probably be turned off if a man cried more than I did, but even still it all depends on what he's crying about. Yeah, I want a "macho" man but being macho or being a "man" doesn't mean you stop being human!

Crazy thing is, alot of people hold on to double standards/stereotypes, not b/c they believe in them but moreso b/c of pressure & following the crowd--they've heard others using the same double standards, thus they adapted those same double standards even if they know deep down that doing so isn't fair or morally right. Smh

I totally agree that there are exceptions and hopefully whoever is buying into the double standard is open enough to dismiss it when it doesn't apply.

That's why they don't bother me very much. Even if someone can't dismiss it when the time is right, who cares? It's just their opinion and they are entitled to have it...right or wrong. Other people's opinions shouldn't have so much weight anyway.

Very true.

Problem is, alot of people really hold onto double standards & implement them into their daily lives & relationships. I've seen guys let go of a "good catch/one" all b/c he believes that only men have the ability to sleep around & yet not do so b/c they have issues. I tried explaining to him that believe it or not, some women actually enjoy just sex like alot of men do. Some women actually ARE capable of having no-strings-attached relations. But he wasn't hearing it smh smh Perhaps that's why he's still single lol

Where I live, there's a HUGE controversey going on over this woman AND mother of 3 kids that got arrested last Friday for domestic violence. She slapped her boyfriend & his ass called the police on her!

The community is divided. Some people are saying that she shouldn't have went to jail, & that child protective services should've never got involved. Alot of people have her back, claiming that her reasoning (her finding him cheating) was justified for why she put her hands on him.

While the other half (people like me) are saying, NO EXCUSES! Had a man walked in on his girlfriend cheating on him, yes he'd understandably be upset, BUT that wouldn't justify him beating her up or even slightly putting his hands on her! If he had been the one to put his hands on her, the police would've arrested him, put him in jail & persuaded child protective services to take away his children (since that person is now considered a risk to others after being so violent)

I just don't get it! Violence is NEVER ok, regardless of which gender is on the receiving end. The same consequences for domestic violence should apply to women just like they do to men! Ugh! In this case, it shows that double standards have even corrupted the criminal justice system.

Agreed. Her ass belongs in jail.

Posted by Shadows
Agreed. Her ass belongs in jail.

The community agrees that she should be locked up & prosecuted for domestic violence in the same way a man would've been, BUT they disagree with the fact that children services should've gotten involved. They don't feel like she should be considered a threat to her children just b/c she put her hands on an adult. Problem is, had he put his hands on her, they would've immediately considered him not only unfit & a threat to her, but ALSO to those children. And the criminal justice system would've taken his kids from him in a heart beat regardless.

I just think they should make an example out of her, if anything to show other women that women are not above the law. Kind of like when celebrities get away with murder & with all the things that regular/average citizens would've been locked up for (while the key is being thrown away). It's just not fair.

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Lol I have absolutely NO idea what Aquagirl24 is talking about! This is the 2nd thread (with 2 completely different topics) that she's accused me of 'stealing ideas' from! What the! Chick just went loco! She needs to be escorted to a mental ward like YESTERDAY!

Actually no, let's clear something up right now since Aquagirl24 supposedly can read my mind.

How did this topic come about? Me & my best friend Rachel were talking about this over dinner 3 nights ago. So unless you just so happend to know the Rachel I'm talking about, you look like a complete foot for assuming this topic had to do with you or anyone else you think this is about! You know what they say...when you assume, you make an ASS out of YOU (mainly) & me. smh smh

Enough of the small talk. Get to a mental ward. QUICK!