How Do Feel After A Break-up? How to Heal?

It's best to move on from this situation; yesterday was a good day. Some days are good, other days are bad. Yesterday I prayed for a good while in the morning, it made a significant difference.

Despite it hurting; it feels better to let it go than to try and make it work. How much longer till it completely heals? Broken heart literally feels like a pain in the chest area.

I feel relieved and happy to no longer deal with the situation, the hurt remains however, and I find myself thinking about my ex an awful lot.

It's been since mother's day. It hurts, but I feel a mixture of emotions. I feel happy I finally had the courage to leave; each day sucks but I feel relieved! Deep relieve! I miss the person, but the noose around my neck is gone. I miss the friendship but not the drama.

Yesterday I got back in contact with friends with whom I lost contact. It felt very supportive then today the morning is starting shitty.

What was your heartbreak like how did you finally move on?

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuy
Stay strong. I'm still going through a heartbreak but it's been a couple of months and I generally feel better. There will be good days and bad days, just take them as they come.

I found it useful to watch comedy, listen to upbeat songs, not listen to love songs or romantic movies or TV for a while. Also do some activities you enjoy.

*virtual hugs*

Activities I enjoy... What if the activities I enjoy remind me of my ex? Do you feel good about your decision was it the right decision?

These things take time. The best thing I find is to immerse myself into my work, hobbies,and friendships. Work on improving yourself and eventually you'll find that it hurts A LOT less than you remembered. Also be open to meeting someone new and remember that your ex was simply one person who was clearly incompatible with you. The next person (and there WILL be a next person) will be far simpler to deal with as long as you remain open.

Posted by Chuckcem
These things take time. The best thing I find is to immerse myself into my work, hobbies,and friendships. Work on improving yourself and eventually you'll find that it hurts A LOT less than you remembered. Also be open to meeting someone new and remember that your ex was simply one person who was clearly incompatible with you. The next person (and there WILL be a next person) will be far simpler to deal with as long as you remain open.

Yes I just want the heartache to go away. I do feel alive and happy. I wish my ex the best!

The temptation to look at social media is unbearable, but it just makes me feel bad.

Sounds like the relationship wasn't an entirely functional one, no? Understand that a relationship ending isn't a poor reflection on you (unless for some reason you were being a terrible person 100% of the time). Break ups happen because the relationship was broken. Understand that what you brought to the table and what they brought to the table simply didn't mesh. You can't force these things. Either the other person is willing to grow with you, or they are not. In which case, you need to find someone who is willing to grow with you.

The heartache you're experiencing is literally your brain readjusting to a new pattern. It is reconciling with the "void" that was left now that the other person is gone. This is normal. You just need to give yourself time to process what happened in the relationship. What did you do right, what did you do wrong, and what can you learn from it so that you can be better in your next relationship? Start evaluating your self-worth so that you know what you're bringing to the table.

Heartache is like a wave, it goes up and down. Eventually it will break and smooth out, so just ride the wave.

Posted by Shrewdsharp
The temptation to look at social media is unbearable, but it just makes me feel bad.

Don't look at social media. Unfollow so that you're less tempted. Unfriend or block if you must. You need to distance yourself and give your mind time to process being without the other person. Your brain will get confused if you continue to look at the person's social media. Those emotional pathways will remain open and harder to close.

Also know that breakups can be hardest for the person who initiated it. The urge to stalk social media can be strong, so avoid it at all costs.

Social Media during a break-up will kill you if you let it.

Posted by Goodtimes
Social Media during a break-up will kill you if you let it.

Yes! This!

Let yourself grieve; it is a loss and you are human. Don't stuff the feelings, feel the hurt and allow it to pass. If you don't grieve it will just be prolonged.

Posted by Goodtimes
Let yourself grieve; it is a loss and you are human. Don't stuff the feelings, feel the hurt and allow it to pass. If you don't grieve it will just be prolonged.

That's the worst part.

Posted by Chuckcem
Sounds like the relationship wasn't an entirely functional one, no? Understand that a relationship ending isn't a poor reflection on you (unless for some reason you were being a terrible person 100% of the time). Break ups happen because the relationship was broken. Understand that what you brought to the table and what they brought to the table simply didn't mesh. You can't force these things. Either the other person is willing to grow with you, or they are not. In which case, you need to find someone who is willing to grow with you.

The heartache you're experiencing is literally your brain readjusting to a new pattern. It is reconciling with the "void" that was left now that the other person is gone. This is normal. You just need to give yourself time to process what happened in the relationship. What did you do right, what did you do wrong, and what can you learn from it so that you can be better in your next relationship? Start evaluating your self-worth so that you know what you're bringing to the table.

Heartache is like a wave, it goes up and down. Eventually it will break and smooth out, so just ride the wave.

I was doing fine until I heard a love song on the radio. Jeez I can't wait until this wave is over.

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Chuckcem
Sounds like the relationship wasn't an entirely functional one, no? Understand that a relationship ending isn't a poor reflection on you (unless for some reason you were being a terrible person 100% of the time). Break ups happen because the relationship was broken. Understand that what you brought to the table and what they brought to the table simply didn't mesh. You can't force these things. Either the other person is willing to grow with you, or they are not. In which case, you need to find someone who is willing to grow with you.

The heartache you're experiencing is literally your brain readjusting to a new pattern. It is reconciling with the "void" that was left now that the other person is gone. This is normal. You just need to give yourself time to process what happened in the relationship. What did you do right, what did you do wrong, and what can you learn from it so that you can be better in your next relationship? Start evaluating your self-worth so that you know what you're bringing to the table.

Heartache is like a wave, it goes up and down. Eventually it will break and smooth out, so just ride the wave.

I was doing fine until I heard a love song on the radio. Jeez I can't wait until this wave is over.

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Heartbreak hurts so deeply because it pulls at that raw abandonment nerve we all share. It rips us open to the core, overwhelming us with powerful emotions — loss, despair, panic, shame, hopelessness — that seem all out of proportion to the actual event. Here are 12 facts to help you:

1. The intense emotional crisis of abandonment is real; it is normal, part of being human. And it is temporary. The painful feelings hearken all the way back to our lost childhoods. The regression into primal fear does not mean we’re weak; it’s an involuntary reaction to feeling left behind by someone we love.

2. Overcoming heartbreak begins with understanding the primal nature of the wound so that we can prepare for battle — a battle to quash self hatred and undertake a determined campaign of self nurture- treating ourselves kindly and gently with exquisite self acceptance and care. Physician, heal thy wound.

3. The abandonment wound is cumulative, encompassing the losses, anxieties, hurts, disappointments, rejections, and self doubts we’ve been experiencing since childhood. The breakup reopens the primal pit, sending old unwelcome feelings into our current emotional crisis. We suddenly feel small, weak, and helpless all over again.

4. The incision of heartbreak causes us to experience a symbiotic regression where we feel we cannot possibly survive without this person’s love. This is an illusion. We can survive the breakup and stand more firmly on our own two feet than before. Ultimately, we are strongest where the breaks are.

5. Abandonment’s painful sore brings us in touch with intense neediness and fear to be sure, but there-in lies its cure. We now have an opportunity to cleanse the primal wound. Ripped open, we administer to unresolved needs and doubts we’ve been neglecting since childhood.

6. We’re always hearing that we should ‘love ourselves’ but this platitude rings empty, like another easier-said than done nebulous prescription. We can’t just will self-love into existence, or snap our fingers to make it happen. Even reciting affirmations in the mirror falls short. Self love - healing abandonment - involves doing.

7. Abandonment recovery means taking action - taking behavioral steps that administer to our most deeply felt needs. The actions work incrementally like physical therapy for the brain to reprogram old unwanted patterns and institute healthy new ones.

8. When we were children we didn’t know how to give ourselves what we needed, but now as adults we learn how to be our own loving parent. We use specialized recovery tools to strengthen the Adult Self - a higher self that administers directly to our deepest and most important needs.

9. We become emotionally self-reliant, a task long overdue for most of us. But it doesn’t happen by osmosis. It involves hands-on exercises that guide us step by step to perform loving actions that heal abandonment, overcome self sabotage, and achieve our ultimate goals. We grab abandonment by the tail and flip it, healing from the inside out.

10. The exercises strengthen the higher self and help us achieve our higher goals, finally able to act in our own best interests. At first we won’t feel like taking positive actions, because our heart is momentarily broken and only beats for our lost love. But as a stronger Adult we take ourselves in hand and guide ourselves toward greater love and connection with self and others.

11. At the very time you feel your life is over, a new you is just beginning. The key is to use our times of emotional turmoil and uncertainty to treat ourselves with radical and unconditional self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, and self-compassion. Thus we inculcate a healthy new relationship with the Self and commence positive change.

12. It takes a leap of faith, but there are effective tools and people to connect with to help us transform emotional crisis into growth. We learn how to gain by abandonment rather than be diminished by it.

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