@pinkbird03
10 Years5,000+ Posts
Dating and Sex
Understanding Open Relationships and Dating Dynamics
Many modern relationships involve open arrangements where partners agree to see others. This can include sex without exclusivity, which some see as acceptable while others consider it wrong. Communication and boundaries vary, so it's important to discuss expectations clearly with your partner to ensure mutual understanding and respect.
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Posted by pinkbird03
I need to understand this. Because it keeps happening with the guys I date now and I don't get it at all!!They don't want to be exclusive, but they want to have sex.... with more than 1 person!! The guy I'm dating right now says he's not ready to be exclusive, but he said he cares about me and doesn't want to stop talking! He also wants to have sex with me but apparently he has a friend who is in an open relationship with her bf and over the years when he's single, he hooks up with her.... he says he doesn't have feelings for her. Do you believe that?
Please explain this. Is it just me for thinking this is wrong?? Am I just too traditional for modern dating—
How long have you two been talking?
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He started chasing me in February but I didn't follow up with meeting him until April. So it's been a little over a month of dating. So really not long. But I told him I wanted to be exclusive before sex because I don't like sharing. He said he understood and even agreed with me. That's why we havent yet even though we've done other things. And now he is surprising me with a lot...
Posted by pinkbird03
I need to understand this. Because it keeps happening with the guys I date now and I don't get it at all!!They don't want to be exclusive, but they want to have sex.... with more than 1 person!! The guy I'm dating right now says he's not ready to be exclusive, but he said he cares about me and doesn't want to stop talking! He also wants to have sex with me but apparently he has a friend who is in an open relationship with her bf and over the years when he's single, he hooks up with her.... he says he doesn't have feelings for her. Do you believe that?
Please explain this. Is it just me for thinking this is wrong?? Am I just too traditional for modern dating—
How long have you two been talking?
He started chasing me in February but I didn't follow up with meeting him until April. So it's been a little over a month of dating. So really not long. But I told him I wanted to be exclusive before sex because I don't like sharing. He said he understood and even agreed with me. That's why we havent yet even though we've done other things. And now he is surprising me with a lot...
As a general rule I would say that you shouldn't have sex with someone who isn't exclusive with you. This goes double in a situation like that. It sounds like you're still in the option stage.
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Are you a guy or a girl?
Definitely not having sex yet. I've made it clear to him what I want. He said he's going to think about it before making a decision. That's what I'm doing too.
Do you think I should even continue to see him?
Posted by Gob_Shite
Jesus, I'm too old for all this shit...
Yeppppp. Dating is just too hard.
Posted by Gob_Shite
Jesus, I'm too old for all this shit...Yeppppp. Dating is just too hard.
Probably best to leave things to chance. The whole dating circuit is completely fake, nowadays...
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Yea. I need to start getting out more to put myself in places where I can meet decent single men.
Posted by infires
ye never know sometimes the commitment comes after the sex :3
It's risky. I'm not sure if I want to take that risk. I am considering it though. But I don't know.
I honestly do think he likes me. He always tells me how much he loves my body. But last night on the phone, he opened up a lot. He actually said what he thinks about me, which was nice to hear.
Adding to what I last wrote in the comment above...
I did already tell him I was letting him go. I wrote it in the middle of the night so he hasn't responded yet. The reason why i did this is because I do need space to figure this out and to guard myself from any more pain. I also want to see if he misses me and to see how much he actually does care or not. I even got back on match.com. I posted a pretty cute but a little sexy picture of me in a dress. It's not entirely for him. It also makes me feel good, especially with the new guys messaging me. I gotta be positive even if life is a little rough right now. Not giving up on love.
Posted by Gob_Shite
Jesus, I'm too old for all this shit...Yeppppp. Dating is just too hard.
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You not dating!
He is not worth the risk.
Sounds like he's really attracted to you and just wants to have sex with you that's all.
A lot of guys try to show their sensitive side as a strategic tactic to get girls in bed.Sometimes they even make stuff up about their childhood or other areas in their life to appear more vulnerable when they aren't
If he really liked you we wouldn't be having this conversation as you would already be in a committed monogamous relationship with him having sex.lol
Posted by infires
ye never know sometimes the commitment comes after the sex :3It's risky. I'm not sure if I want to take that risk. I am considering it though. But I don't know.
I honestly do think he likes me. He always tells me how much he loves my body. But last night on the phone, he opened up a lot. He actually said what he thinks about me, which was nice to hear.
if you are worried that he might not commit, then you shouldnt take the risk and find someone who you know will.
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There's no way to tell right now. And if he is willing to commit, I don't know how long that will take. I did tell him that when he is ready for more commitment and if I'm still single I would date him again. I just need my space right now. I feel like I keep changing my mind because both my heart and brain are talking to me.
Posted by Gob_Shite
Jesus, I'm too old for all this shit...
After I've learned here not too long ago that condoms don't protect from crap - I don't know if I would ever even think about sex if I was younger and not 100% about my partner!
Herpes above condom!?? Like whaaaat?
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
He is not worth the risk.Sounds like he's really attracted to you and just wants to have sex with you that's all.
A lot of guys try to show their sensitive side as a strategic tactic to get girls in bed.Sometimes they even make stuff up about their childhood or other areas in their life to appear more vulnerable when they aren't
If he really liked you we wouldn't be having this conversation as you would already be in a committed monogamous relationship with him having sex.lol
We had the chance to have sex before but it was him who stopped it because he knows how I feel about being exclusive. He also told me that I'm the nicest girl he's ever met and he really doesn't want to hurt me, which is why he has been waiting. So I really don't think that's all he wants. Or he would have tried a lot harder. There's been numerous opportunities for it.
Posted by lovinglioness1115
If he's a Gemini or has strong Gemini placements I would personally stay away from him lol
Nope, just another cap sun aqua moon. I don't know how I could get so lucky to have that twice almost back to back
Posted by lovinglioness1115
If he's a Gemini or has strong Gemini placements I would personally stay away from him lolNope, just another cap sun aqua moon. I don't know how I could get so lucky to have that twice almost back to back
I was half-kidding, girl. 😛 Although I do stay away from Geminis generally... and Caps, since I'm Cancer-dominant. Do you have both your chart and the guy's chart? Minus Houses/Rising Signs
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This is what I got lol I don't know how to upload pictures.
Me
Venus in Leo
Moon in Scorpio
Sun in cancer
Mars Leo
Rising sign Taurus
Mercury cancer
Jupiter Gemini
Saturn Capricorn
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
N node Aquarius
December 16, 1983
Sun cap
Moon in Aquarius
Mercury Capricorn
Venus Aquarius
Mars Aquarius
Jupiter Sagittarius
Saturn Scorpio
Neptune Sagittarius
Pluto libra
Posted by Goateeguru
I literally just had this conversation yesterday afternoon. She has a hot bod but that's where it stops. I'm not excited about much else. Was supposed to have sex yesterday but didn't call her and went to sleep instead. Not motivated. Guys are simple. Attraction has to be there first then everything else follows.
Are u talking about me or the friend?
Posted by lovinglioness1115
If he's a Gemini or has strong Gemini placements I would personally stay away from him lolNope, just another cap sun aqua moon. I don't know how I could get so lucky to have that twice almost back to back
I was half-kidding, girl. 😛 Although I do stay away from Geminis generally... and Caps, since I'm Cancer-dominant. Do you have both your chart and the guy's chart? Minus Houses/Rising Signs
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I don't think we're that compatible based on that information. I do feel like we have good chemistry, conversation, everything comes natural, laugh a lot, he's always been there to talk about random stuff and important stuff. Never gets cold on me. I was beginning to like him a lot and he even said we could be exclusive the next time we hung out. And then last night he dropped this bomb on me...
@Pinkbird,
This is one of the biggest challenges of dating in the new 'millennial' generation.
With all this access to modern technology, more people are polyamorous, impatient, and very few emotional bridges are being built.
If he wasn't looking for a relationship, why was he on match.com, wasting his time and money and yours?
There are plenty of ther 'free' date/hookup apps available.
Don't bother wasting your time on this guy.
Get you money's worth, and find a real man on match.com who wants to be in a commited reationship.
Posted by infires
ye never know sometimes the commitment comes after the sex :3I honestly do think he likes me. He always tells me how much he loves my body.
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That looks more like a red flag.
Posted by lovinglioness1115
Wait, isn't December 16th Sagittarius? It's not even a cusp day.
No January oops
*other*
Posted by TaurusBull1977
@Pinkbird,This is one of the biggest challenges of dating in the new 'millennial' generation.
With all this access to modern technology, more people are polyamorous, impatient, and very few emotional bridges are being built.
If he wasn't looking for a relationship, why was he on match.com, wasting his time and money and yours?
There are plenty of ther 'free' date/hookup apps available.
Don't bother wasting your time on this guy.
Get you money's worth, and find a real man on match.com who wants to be in a commited reationship.
Thank u for your support. I will take this advice. I just hope I don't cave ?
Posted by Goateeguru
I literally just had this conversation yesterday afternoon. She has a hot bod but that's where it stops. I'm not excited about much else. Was supposed to have sex yesterday but didn't call her and went to sleep instead. Not motivated. Guys are simple. Attraction has to be there first then everything else follows.Are u talking about me or the friend?
You? Of course not.
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We have attraction. I thought we had more than that too. I guess not
Posted by lovinglioness1115
If he's a Gemini or has strong Gemini placements I would personally stay away from him lolNope, just another cap sun aqua moon. I don't know how I could get so lucky to have that twice almost back to back
I was half-kidding, girl. 😛 Although I do stay away from Geminis generally... and Caps, since I'm Cancer-dominant. Do you have both your chart and the guy's chart? Minus Houses/Rising Signs
I don't think we're that compatible based on that information. I do feel like we have good chemistry, conversation, everything comes natural, laugh a lot, he's always been there to talk about random stuff and important stuff. Never gets cold on me. I was beginning to like him a lot and he even said we could be exclusive the next time we hung out. And then last night he dropped this bomb on me...
How many times has he "dropped the bomb"? Also, if this guy says he doesn't want to be exclusive and he bails on you (especially multiple times), he's not worth expending your energy on...
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Last night was the first time. It sucks very much
to me if you are dating it has to be exclusively with only one person!!! these guys ugh. if I were you I would tell him that you can keep going out with him (no sex) but since he is being honest with you about his casual friend then be honest with him and tell him that you still have your options open as well. So, make your own plans, do not go out with him all the time and don't let him make all the plans.
Like Inge says: you wanna go out this Friday, you say, I'm actually going out with a friend or friends, invite him if you don't mind and be just friends while out there, talk to other people like you are normally single. (Don't have sex with anyone or go home with other guys) give him exclusivity on certain things so he knows you do care about him more than other people but you won't commit unless he does.
What can you get out of that?
1. That he will know that you aren't dumb to let fuckboys fuck you over.
2. You can be friends too
3. if he ends up being a joke, you didn't waste your time with him.
4. Don't prioritize him unless he asks you out.
5. If he does like you, he will know that he has to make a move to keep you, not just sweet talks and random time together.
6. You don't need him or sex with him to survive.
He will either walk away or keep up with you.
Posted by lovinglioness1115
If he's a Gemini or has strong Gemini placements I would personally stay away from him lolNope, just another cap sun aqua moon. I don't know how I could get so lucky to have that twice almost back to back
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ugh Caps!!! most indecisive of the zodiac along with Aqua :/
But once we are sure about what we want we chase it down and commit 100% most likely to be a long relationship.
Posted by Gob_Shite
Jesus, I'm too old for all this shit...
Me too bro
Posted by Aerazo
to me if you are dating it has to be exclusively with only one person!!! these guys ugh. if I were you I would tell him that you can keep going out with him (no sex) but since he is being honest with you about his casual friend then be honest with him and tell him that you still have your options open as well. So, make your own plans, do not go out with him all the time and don't let him make all the plans.Like Inge says: you wanna go out this Friday, you say, I'm actually going out with a friend or friends, invite him if you don't mind and be just friends while out there, talk to other people like you are normally single. (Don't have sex with anyone or go home with other guys) give him exclusivity on certain things so he knows you do care about him more than other people but you won't commit unless he does.
What can you get out of that?
1. That he will know that you aren't dumb to let fuckboys fuck you over.
2. You can be friends too
3. if he ends up being a joke, you didn't waste your time with him.
4. Don't prioritize him unless he asks you out.
5. If he does like you, he will know that he has to make a move to keep you, not just sweet talks and random time together.
6. You don't need him or sex with him to survive.
He will either walk away or keep up with you.
Honestly i don't think it would be worth the effort trying to force someones hand like this.
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Is it really forcing or is it giving a relationship a chance? I've read on some websites this is very normal in this generation. Same exact thing happened with the last guy I dated, except he liked the girl. This guy claims he doesn't have feelings for her. At this point, do I play the game or walk away from it completely.
Posted by Aerazo
to me if you are dating it has to be exclusively with only one person!!! these guys ugh. if I were you I would tell him that you can keep going out with him (no sex) but since he is being honest with you about his casual friend then be honest with him and tell him that you still have your options open as well. So, make your own plans, do not go out with him all the time and don't let him make all the plans.Like Inge says: you wanna go out this Friday, you say, I'm actually going out with a friend or friends, invite him if you don't mind and be just friends while out there, talk to other people like you are normally single. (Don't have sex with anyone or go home with other guys) give him exclusivity on certain things so he knows you do care about him more than other people but you won't commit unless he does.
What can you get out of that?
1. That he will know that you aren't dumb to let fuckboys fuck you over.
2. You can be friends too
3. if he ends up being a joke, you didn't waste your time with him.
4. Don't prioritize him unless he asks you out.
5. If he does like you, he will know that he has to make a move to keep you, not just sweet talks and random time together.
6. You don't need him or sex with him to survive.
He will either walk away or keep up with you.
Yea. Part of me wants to do this and part of me does not. I really liked him. I'm bummed out right now. Slept only 4 hrs and haven't gotten out of bed
That's just a type of a group of guys. There are also guys out there who would fit your style and would prefer to be exclusive and not engage in sexual activity with anyone outside your relationship. You just haven't found him yet and he hasn't found you.
Posted by Aerazo
to me if you are dating it has to be exclusively with only one person!!! these guys ugh. if I were you I would tell him that you can keep going out with him (no sex) but since he is being honest with you about his casual friend then be honest with him and tell him that you still have your options open as well. So, make your own plans, do not go out with him all the time and don't let him make all the plans.Like Inge says: you wanna go out this Friday, you say, I'm actually going out with a friend or friends, invite him if you don't mind and be just friends while out there, talk to other people like you are normally single. (Don't have sex with anyone or go home with other guys) give him exclusivity on certain things so he knows you do care about him more than other people but you won't commit unless he does.
What can you get out of that?
1. That he will know that you aren't dumb to let fuckboys fuck you over.
2. You can be friends too
3. if he ends up being a joke, you didn't waste your time with him.
4. Don't prioritize him unless he asks you out.
5. If he does like you, he will know that he has to make a move to keep you, not just sweet talks and random time together.
6. You don't need him or sex with him to survive.
He will either walk away or keep up with you.
Honestly i don't think it would be worth the effort trying to force someones hand like this.
Is it really forcing or is it giving a relationship a chance? I've read on some websites this is very normal in this generation. Same exact thing happened with the last guy I dated, except he liked the girl. This guy claims he doesn't have feelings for her. At this point, do I play the game or walk away from it completely.
(Shrugs) it reads like forcing it to me. Even if context is everything.
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Is it a good idea to have sex with him?
Look if he wants to have casual sex and your looking for exclusivity and a relationship then your very incompatible.
So no matter how great he is, how connected you feel etc. etc. He's not the one for you. And imagining that you can change his mind is unrealistic.
Cut him off and move on. This is why you need to date multiple people cause you can't waste any time.
Posted by Rindaroo
It's pretty simple. There is a way too much trying to get him to be exclusive. If a Cap wants you, he will want to be exclusive. He will not want to share you.Move on.
I don't know I'm very used to guys not wanting to be exclusive!! But this guy led me to believe it would happen and we talked so much. I felt like he was trying. Boo ?
Posted by Ellygant
You can't really control what someone else does. But you can only allow yourself to be involved in situations you are comfortable with. If this makes you uncomfortable then don't do it.I've actually seen a lot of situations like this play out very well. Personally I think the old stereotypes of dating don't apply as much as everyone still thinks they do. However in all the situations it worked out, both people involved were tit for tat. They were both in the same place about relationships.
The ones that ended poorly or messily it was because one person was acting against their own wishes for the sake of the other.
Part of me wants to try it, but emotionally I worry I might turn into a wreck.
Posted by Rindaroo
It's pretty simple. There is a way too much trying to get him to be exclusive. If a Cap wants you, he will want to be exclusive. He will not want to share you.Move on.
I don't know I'm very used to guys not wanting to be exclusive!! But this guy led me to believe it would happen and we talked so much. I felt like he was trying. Boo ?
You need to not put up with it, and then you'll meet guys that are actually serious not playing this wishy-washy I don't know what I want game.
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Well I did tell him I was waiting to be exclusive and he said that's what he wanted too. So I thought things were fine. I thought I finished did the right thing in a relationship and it still doesn't work out for me ??
Posted by Aerazo
to me if you are dating it has to be exclusively with only one person!!! these guys ugh. if I were you I would tell him that you can keep going out with him (no sex) but since he is being honest with you about his casual friend then be honest with him and tell him that you still have your options open as well. So, make your own plans, do not go out with him all the time and don't let him make all the plans.Like Inge says: you wanna go out this Friday, you say, I'm actually going out with a friend or friends, invite him if you don't mind and be just friends while out there, talk to other people like you are normally single. (Don't have sex with anyone or go home with other guys) give him exclusivity on certain things so he knows you do care about him more than other people but you won't commit unless he does.
What can you get out of that?
1. That he will know that you aren't dumb to let fuckboys fuck you over.
2. You can be friends too
3. if he ends up being a joke, you didn't waste your time with him.
4. Don't prioritize him unless he asks you out.
5. If he does like you, he will know that he has to make a move to keep you, not just sweet talks and random time together.
6. You don't need him or sex with him to survive.
He will either walk away or keep up with you.
Honestly i don't think it would be worth the effort trying to force someones hand like this.
Is it really forcing or is it giving a relationship a chance? I've read on some websites this is very normal in this generation. Same exact thing happened with the last guy I dated, except he liked the girl. This guy claims he doesn't have feelings for her. At this point, do I play the game or walk away from it completely.
(Shrugs) it reads like forcing it to me. Even if context is everything.
Is it a good idea to have sex with him?
Only if you want to have sex.
But not as a way to get an exclusive relationship, no.
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I want it but I don't want her in the picture
Posted by Rindaroo
It's pretty simple. There is a way too much trying to get him to be exclusive. If a Cap wants you, he will want to be exclusive. He will not want to share you.Move on.
I don't know I'm very used to guys not wanting to be exclusive!! But this guy led me to believe it would happen and we talked so much. I felt like he was trying. Boo ?
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Talk is easy and literally costs a person nothing. Don't judge a guys interest on what he's saying. Look towards his actions. If he makes you the #1 priority then you know he's trying.
Posted by pinkbird03
I need to understand this. Because it keeps happening with the guys I date now and I don't get it at all!!They don't want to be exclusive, but they want to have sex.... with more than 1 person!! The guy I'm dating right now says he's not ready to be exclusive, but he said he cares about me and doesn't want to stop talking! He also wants to have sex with me but apparently he has a friend who is in an open relationship with her bf and over the years when he's single, he hooks up with her.... he says he doesn't have feelings for her. Do you believe that?
Please explain this. Is it just me for thinking this is wrong?? Am I just too traditional for modern dating—
How long have you two been talking?
He started chasing me in February but I didn't follow up with meeting him until April. So it's been a little over a month of dating. So really not long. But I told him I wanted to be exclusive before sex because I don't like sharing. He said he understood and even agreed with me. That's why we havent yet even though we've done other things. And now he is surprising me with a lot...
As a general rule I would say that you shouldn't have sex with someone who isn't exclusive with you. This goes double in a situation like that. It sounds like you're still in the option stage.
Are you a guy or a girl?
Definitely not having sex yet. I've made it clear to him what I want. He said he's going to think about it before making a decision. That's what I'm doing too.
Do you think I should even continue to see him?
I'm a chick ??. I just enjoy having gay guys as my profile picture way too much.
Anyhow, this would be more of a red flag if it wasn't a month in. How much have you guys seen each other? It's still pretty early, so it's normal for him to not be quite settled yet. This is still relatively new. Did you guys know each other before younstarted dating?
One thing you need to strongly evaluate is how you feel about being an option.
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A month is long enough for him to decide he doesn't want to be exclusive with her. Don't give the op false hope.
Posted by Aerazo
to me if you are dating it has to be exclusively with only one person!!! these guys ugh. if I were you I would tell him that you can keep going out with him (no sex) but since he is being honest with you about his casual friend then be honest with him and tell him that you still have your options open as well. So, make your own plans, do not go out with him all the time and don't let him make all the plans.Like Inge says: you wanna go out this Friday, you say, I'm actually going out with a friend or friends, invite him if you don't mind and be just friends while out there, talk to other people like you are normally single. (Don't have sex with anyone or go home with other guys) give him exclusivity on certain things so he knows you do care about him more than other people but you won't commit unless he does.
What can you get out of that?
1. That he will know that you aren't dumb to let fuckboys fuck you over.
2. You can be friends too
3. if he ends up being a joke, you didn't waste your time with him.
4. Don't prioritize him unless he asks you out.
5. If he does like you, he will know that he has to make a move to keep you, not just sweet talks and random time together.
6. You don't need him or sex with him to survive.
He will either walk away or keep up with you.
Honestly i don't think it would be worth the effort trying to force someones hand like this.
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Well yeah, she can just tell him to fuck off lol but if she's asking is because she is looking for an alternative answer to keep him around, until he makes up his mind. If she says that she wants all or nothing and he doesn't make a move then why invest more time into him?
Just keep living your life @pinkbird
Today sucks
Posted by Ellygant
You can't really control what someone else does. But you can only allow yourself to be involved in situations you are comfortable with. If this makes you uncomfortable then don't do it.I've actually seen a lot of situations like this play out very well. Personally I think the old stereotypes of dating don't apply as much as everyone still thinks they do. However in all the situations it worked out, both people involved were tit for tat. They were both in the same place about relationships.
The ones that ended poorly or messily it was because one person was acting against their own wishes for the sake of the other.
Part of me wants to try it, but emotionally I worry I might turn into a wreck.
I'd advise against it then. You shouldn't have to change your nature in order to better understand someone else's. It should come naturally. Since you can already see how it would upset you before doing it, the likelihood it would once it happens is high.
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Ok no sex. That decision has been made.
Posted by Rindaroo
It's pretty simple. There is a way too much trying to get him to be exclusive. If a Cap wants you, he will want to be exclusive. He will not want to share you.Move on.
I don't know I'm very used to guys not wanting to be exclusive!! But this guy led me to believe it would happen and we talked so much. I felt like he was trying. Boo ?
You need to not put up with it, and then you'll meet guys that are actually serious not playing this wishy-washy I don't know what I want game.
Well I did tell him I was waiting to be exclusive and he said that's what he wanted too. So I thought things were fine. I thought I finished did the right thing in a relationship and it still doesn't work out for me ??
Well okay, but waiting to be exclusive & wanting to be are two different things. My bf was like am I the only one? Please tell me there is no one else. I don't share. After about a week or so. That's always how it's been with all my relationships. Very quickly, they know they want you or not. Even with the Cap. Of course it took him 4 months, to ask for a second date lol. But in the meantime when he messaged I wasn't putting up with the wishy washy crap. I would just stop making effort. He knew he had to be serious when he came back. Idk maybe it's an attitude.
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I'm too nice. To everyone. This is my problem
Posted by pinkbird03
I need to understand this. Because it keeps happening with the guys I date now and I don't get it at all!!They don't want to be exclusive, but they want to have sex.... with more than 1 person!! The guy I'm dating right now says he's not ready to be exclusive, but he said he cares about me and doesn't want to stop talking! He also wants to have sex with me but apparently he has a friend who is in an open relationship with her bf and over the years when he's single, he hooks up with her.... he says he doesn't have feelings for her. Do you believe that?
Please explain this. Is it just me for thinking this is wrong?? Am I just too traditional for modern dating—
How long have you two been talking?
He started chasing me in February but I didn't follow up with meeting him until April. So it's been a little over a month of dating. So really not long. But I told him I wanted to be exclusive before sex because I don't like sharing. He said he understood and even agreed with me. That's why we havent yet even though we've done other things. And now he is surprising me with a lot...
As a general rule I would say that you shouldn't have sex with someone who isn't exclusive with you. This goes double in a situation like that. It sounds like you're still in the option stage.
Are you a guy or a girl?
Definitely not having sex yet. I've made it clear to him what I want. He said he's going to think about it before making a decision. That's what I'm doing too.
Do you think I should even continue to see him?
I'm a chick ??. I just enjoy having gay guys as my profile picture way too much.
Anyhow, this would be more of a red flag if it wasn't a month in. How much have you guys seen each other? It's still pretty early, so it's normal for him to not be quite settled yet. This is still relatively new. Did you guys know each other before younstarted dating?
One thing you need to strongly evaluate is how you feel about being an option.
A month is long enough for him to decide he doesn't want to be exclusive with her. Don't give the op false hope.
How many times can you see someone in a month? This isn't a gurantee, but a month is a pretty short time imo. I myself probably wouldn't be sure if I was ready to be exclusive with someone that i didn't have a prior history with after only a month.
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I do agree with this. My issue comes that he's hooking up with someone else who has been a friend for awhile. He also wants to hook up with me. Like can you really blame him? He's getting sex easily. With no strings attached either. No drama. Why would he just want to stop? I think a lot of guys would do this
Posted by pinkbird03
I need to understand this. Because it keeps happening with the guys I date now and I don't get it at all!!They don't want to be exclusive, but they want to have sex.... with more than 1 person!! The guy I'm dating right now says he's not ready to be exclusive, but he said he cares about me and doesn't want to stop talking! He also wants to have sex with me but apparently he has a friend who is in an open relationship with her bf and over the years when he's single, he hooks up with her.... he says he doesn't have feelings for her. Do you believe that?
Please explain this. Is it just me for thinking this is wrong?? Am I just too traditional for modern dating—
How long have you two been talking?
He started chasing me in February but I didn't follow up with meeting him until April. So it's been a little over a month of dating. So really not long. But I told him I wanted to be exclusive before sex because I don't like sharing. He said he understood and even agreed with me. That's why we havent yet even though we've done other things. And now he is surprising me with a lot...
As a general rule I would say that you shouldn't have sex with someone who isn't exclusive with you. This goes double in a situation like that. It sounds like you're still in the option stage.
Are you a guy or a girl?
Definitely not having sex yet. I've made it clear to him what I want. He said he's going to think about it before making a decision. That's what I'm doing too.
Do you think I should even continue to see him?
I'm a chick ??. I just enjoy having gay guys as my profile picture way too much.
Anyhow, this would be more of a red flag if it wasn't a month in. How much have you guys seen each other? It's still pretty early, so it's normal for him to not be quite settled yet. This is still relatively new. Did you guys know each other before younstarted dating?
One thing you need to strongly evaluate is how you feel about being an option.
A month is long enough for him to decide he doesn't want to be exclusive with her. Don't give the op false hope.
How many times can you see someone in a month? This isn't a gurantee, but a month is a pretty short time imo. I myself probably wouldn't be sure if I was ready to be exclusive with someone that i didn't have a prior history with after only a month.
click to expand
But that's the point, he's not unsure. He's told her he doesn't want exclusivity. Take him at his word.
Posted by pinkbird03
I need to understand this. Because it keeps happening with the guys I date now and I don't get it at all!!They don't want to be exclusive, but they want to have sex.... with more than 1 person!! The guy I'm dating right now says he's not ready to be exclusive, but he said he cares about me and doesn't want to stop talking! He also wants to have sex with me but apparently he has a friend who is in an open relationship with her bf and over the years when he's single, he hooks up with her.... he says he doesn't have feelings for her. Do you believe that?
Please explain this. Is it just me for thinking this is wrong?? Am I just too traditional for modern dating—
I think you are not in the wrong or too traditional for wanting monogamy. This could mean that guy is not right for you or vice versa.
Posted by pinkbird03
I need to understand this. Because it keeps happening with the guys I date now and I don't get it at all!!They don't want to be exclusive, but they want to have sex.... with more than 1 person!! The guy I'm dating right now says he's not ready to be exclusive, but he said he cares about me and doesn't want to stop talking! He also wants to have sex with me but apparently he has a friend who is in an open relationship with her bf and over the years when he's single, he hooks up with her.... he says he doesn't have feelings for her. Do you believe that?
Please explain this. Is it just me for thinking this is wrong?? Am I just too traditional for modern dating—
How long have you two been talking?
He started chasing me in February but I didn't follow up with meeting him until April. So it's been a little over a month of dating. So really not long. But I told him I wanted to be exclusive before sex because I don't like sharing. He said he understood and even agreed with me. That's why we havent yet even though we've done other things. And now he is surprising me with a lot...
As a general rule I would say that you shouldn't have sex with someone who isn't exclusive with you. This goes double in a situation like that. It sounds like you're still in the option stage.
Are you a guy or a girl?
Definitely not having sex yet. I've made it clear to him what I want. He said he's going to think about it before making a decision. That's what I'm doing too.
Do you think I should even continue to see him?
I'm a chick ??. I just enjoy having gay guys as my profile picture way too much.
Anyhow, this would be more of a red flag if it wasn't a month in. How much have you guys seen each other? It's still pretty early, so it's normal for him to not be quite settled yet. This is still relatively new. Did you guys know each other before younstarted dating?
One thing you need to strongly evaluate is how you feel about being an option.
A month is long enough for him to decide he doesn't want to be exclusive with her. Don't give the op false hope.
How many times can you see someone in a month? This isn't a gurantee, but a month is a pretty short time imo. I myself probably wouldn't be sure if I was ready to be exclusive with someone that i didn't have a prior history with after only a month.
I do agree with this. My issue comes that he's hooking up with someone else who has been a friend for awhile. He also wants to hook up with me. Like can you really blame him? He's getting sex easily. With no strings attached either. No drama. Why would he just want to stop? I think a lot of guys would do this
click to expand
Be confident in your value. Tell him you need exclusivity and if he can't give you that you wish him well, goodbye ?
If a dude really wants you they'll go hard to lock you down.
Sorry I need a nap. I'll be back.
Well there may be something you need to improve with your selection strategy.
For some reason you consciously or subconsciously choose unavailable men. There's this book called "Receiving Love" from Amazon and the doctor talks about receiving the kind of partner that you want in your heart systematically as opposed to looking for it outside of yourself.
For some reason the signals that you're putting out there is bringing back a wavelength -opposite of what you want.
It's like you're trying to get to 92.3F.M. but you keep ending up at 98.1F.m
This can be easily resolved with sone tweaking
Why you are selecting noncommittal people?
For some reason you're not on the same wavelength as men who want to commit. Why?
You wrote it keeps on happening... so you've been on the same wavelength as men who don't want to commit as opposed to being on the same wavelength of people who do want to commit. That's the Law of Attraction and I study it through the Science of Mind.
Just like the law of gravity is real the law of attraction is real. If there's something that I want that I haven't gotten yet then I haven't done enough work to get aligned with my new desire.
Just because I say that I want something doesn't mean I'm ready to receive it. Abraham Hicks cause it allowing I remember graduating from college I put this pretty high figure that I wanted to make out of college and it took five years but I aligned myself with that amount of money; I begin to budget as if I had it I begin to act like I already had it I begin to let it and it took five years but I got that salary plus 5000 more.
Abraham Hicks the metaphysical Guru who was really the author of The Secret said that poor people focus more on the lack of money and the Law of Attraction brings that to them or as rich people focus more on the having of money and multiplying that money so the Law of Attraction brings that to them it is a law that is ambivalent androgynous and indifferent just like gravity.
So every time someone sits in the hot seat and as Abraham about attracting things in their life Abraham repeats the same thing if you don't have what it is that you say that you want then that means that there is a stronger vibration of what it is that you do not want that is active in your signals than the vibration of what you DO WANT.
Also belong to the science of mine which is the law of attraction Mega movement church and the pastor is constantly tell us to spend time in our vision regarding the kind of relationship that we won't talk about it focus on it right about it get a vision board get it into your body because right now your vibration is sending out a signal to men who do not want an exclusive relationship with you and if you want something different than you going to have to send out a different vibe.
But in your defense there are a lot of people online that are just looking for something that is casual but every now and again you can find that diamond in the rough. I really don't think that online however is a place to meet somebody who truly wants to be serious and have something a substance because a lot of those men are already taken are already married and it's just too easy to go someone and it's just too easy that has something casual but then where else are you going to meet guys you know?
Posted by Shrewdsharp
Just like the law of gravity is real the law of attraction is real. If there's something that I want that I haven't gotten yet then I haven't done enough work to get aligned with my new desire.Just because I say that I want something doesn't mean I'm ready to receive it. Abraham Hicks cause it allowing I remember graduating from college I put this pretty high figure that I wanted to make out of college and it took five years but I aligned myself with that amount of money; I begin to budget as if I had it I begin to act like I already had it I begin to let it and it took five years but I got that salary plus 5000 more.
Abraham Hicks the metaphysical Guru who was really the author of The Secret said that poor people focus more on the lack of money and the Law of Attraction brings that to them or as rich people focus more on the having of money and multiplying that money so the Law of Attraction brings that to them it is a law that is ambivalent androgynous and indifferent just like gravity.
So every time someone sits in the hot seat and as Abraham about attracting things in their life Abraham repeats the same thing if you don't have what it is that you say that you want then that means that there is a stronger vibration of what it is that you do not want that is active in your signals than the vibration of what you DO WANT.
Also belong to the science of mine which is the law of attraction Mega movement church and the pastor is constantly tell us to spend time in our vision regarding the kind of relationship that we won't talk about it focus on it right about it get a vision board get it into your body because right now your vibration is sending out a signal to men who do not want an exclusive relationship with you and if you want something different than you going to have to send out a different vibe.
But in your defense there are a lot of people online that are just looking for something that is casual but every now and again you can find that diamond in the rough. I really don't think that online however is a place to meet somebody who truly wants to be serious and have something a substance because a lot of those men are already taken are already married and it's just too easy to go someone and it's just too easy that has something casual but then where else are you going to meet guys you know?
I don't know how to change any vibrations. Maybe I'll make a new rule and stick to it. 3 dates and we're exclusive or it's goodbye. That's my standard and I'm not following there expectations anymore. I don't know though lol
Posted by pinkbird03
Sorry I need a nap. I'll be back.As a cancer moon, I can tell you that most emotional situations are not nearly as stressful once I've eaten a full meal and taken a nice nap lol.
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Think I need to eat something but I don't like food right now
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I need to understand this. Because it keeps happening with the guys I date now and I don't get it at all!!
They don't want to be exclusive, but they want to have sex.... with more than 1 person!! The guy I'm dating right now says he's not ready to be exclusive, but he said he cares about me and doesn't want to stop talking! He also wants to have sex with me but apparently he has a friend who is in an open relationship with her bf and over the years when he's single, he hooks up with her.... he says he doesn't have feelings for her. Do you believe that?
Please explain this. Is it just me for thinking this is wrong?? Am I just too traditional for modern dating—