how do I approach this situation

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by purplehaze986 on Friday, June 30, 2006 and has 7 replies.

Profile picture of purplehaze986
@purplehaze986
20 Years

Recently came out of a relationship... definately want to remain sexually active, but not ready to start dating. I am hoenst to a fault.. I hate being lied to and I have deceiving and lying to others. I've met quite a few girls in the past month, but I don't want a relationship with anyone (I am the pickiest man alive..it sucks!) but I would like to have a friends with benefits situation. I've been totally hoenst with them.. and the women are completely appauled.. they can't believe what I just said... It leaves me scratching my head asking.. wow should I just lie to them like 95% of men would..lead them on.. tell them how much I like them.. this is not a route I want to take.

Any feedback would be appreciated!

Profile picture of jen672633
@jen672633
20 YearsScorpio

keep looking. there are women out there who are looking for the same thing. i've been through those stages, as have most of my friends. I don't know how old you are, but a "friends with benefits" situation is all we were looking for when we were in our late twenties. We didn't want to be bogged down. Maybe someone in that age range?

Profile picture of MellowDee
@MellowDee
21 Years1,000+ Posts

"... It leaves me scratching my head asking.. wow should I just lie to them like 95% of men would..lead them on.. tell them how much I like them.. this is not a route I want to take."

Well surely you have to like them a little to want to have sex with them? I mean I thought you just said you were picky. You can be honest in a blunt way or you can be honest in a nice way. Maybe you're taking the first approach.

I personally like to have some kinda level of relationship with a guy if I'm having sex with him, even if it goes nowhere. There fairly little in being with a man for a one night stand of sex. There is for the guy I guess. Maybe I suggest you either go after 1) a woman who is already in a relationship who wants a bit on the side, 2) women in the nightclub who may well be up for it, or 3) a prostitute

Profile picture of jen672633
@jen672633
20 YearsScorpio

"I will say this type of relationship sometimes can be a bit more challenging because usually one partner grows attached than the other."

Yeah- gotta watch that part....sometimes two people start out on the same page, but then the story changes!

Profile picture of pisces
@pisces
20 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Asking is the equivalent of a girl saying I only want you around for what you can buy and give me.

Ha, thats hilarious!
Why not?? Just get one of those girls who want you to buy them stuff & do a deal!
Umm, honestly, I have had the 'Very funking good friends' deal, and it was the happiest, saddest, most confusing & most pleasurable time of my life! Although I was a hussy back then (because some stupid Aries broke my heart 😢 ) and I was on a rampage - was 'VErrry good F'ing Friends with 2 guys & dating another 🙂
So really purple, all you have to do is get one that really doesn't want a relationship, if she says she came out of a long term one, find out if the mourning stage is over & then its all good cause most of them will not want to commit just yet
OOooOH and get really good at shagging that helps!