VenusStar
@VenusStar
14 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 59 · Posts: 1755 · Topics: 94
I have a special dislike for my sibngs.
Posted by starlover
Venus,
You can choose your friends but not your family ~ ya know?
Feel what you feel and be honest about it
x
What do you mean by be honest about what I feel?
okay maybe im never honest about my feelings with my family and that causes me to resent them when they continue a certain behavior but I feel that at this point if I were to be honest about allll of my feelings it would cause a rift again and it would sound very petty (I have a laundry list of things that upset me and just with this sibling but with other family members who disregard my feelings and fail to show me any kind of respect.)
Posted by starlover
I meant carry on being honest, as you are now 🙂
Lots of people either fool themselves or pretend to the world they like their family members
oh... they know i'm not too happy with them because I either distance myself or lash out but they don't know the specifics. i'm very resentful.
wish we could be a happy family but we're not.
Ever hear the saying "you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family"?
This applies.
This applies.
You have NO IDEA how lucky you even are to have siblings.
I'm an only child and only wish I had siblings to squabble with. The older I get the harder it is going to be taking care of my elderly parents and making all those decisions alone.
Appreciate what you have. You could be without.
*smdh*
I'm an only child and only wish I had siblings to squabble with. The older I get the harder it is going to be taking care of my elderly parents and making all those decisions alone.
Appreciate what you have. You could be without.
*smdh*
Venusstar, did you ever think about just accepting her as she is?
Truecap, there are many people who would say that those without siblings are very lucky, as well, and they would be perfectly happy without siblings.
It's unfortunate that you're stuck with them and that its affected your view of family and your family happiness. If you don't like her, don't feel as though you have to keep in touch or act like sisters. Do what makes you happy because she's not likely to change.
It's unfortunate that you're stuck with them and that its affected your view of family and your family happiness. If you don't like her, don't feel as though you have to keep in touch or act like sisters. Do what makes you happy because she's not likely to change.
I guess the grass is greener on the other side. 🙂
Keep in mind that it takes two to tango and neither party is innocent or right or wrong. You can't control what the other person does, but you CAN control your reaction to that person. Sometimes just changing your own actions can influence their reaction. Sometimes nothing you do changes everything.
I see siblings that are best friends as adults in their 30s, 40s, 50s and they have the same background, same life experiences, dealt with the same crazy family and have all that in common. I will never have that. I'm just saying, take what God gave you and treasure it, because you could be without.
Imagine how you'd feel like something was missing if they died. Although, you say you can't stand your sister, there'd probably still be a hole in your life if she wasn't part of it.
Keep in mind that it takes two to tango and neither party is innocent or right or wrong. You can't control what the other person does, but you CAN control your reaction to that person. Sometimes just changing your own actions can influence their reaction. Sometimes nothing you do changes everything.
I see siblings that are best friends as adults in their 30s, 40s, 50s and they have the same background, same life experiences, dealt with the same crazy family and have all that in common. I will never have that. I'm just saying, take what God gave you and treasure it, because you could be without.
Imagine how you'd feel like something was missing if they died. Although, you say you can't stand your sister, there'd probably still be a hole in your life if she wasn't part of it.
Posted by VenusStar
im never honest about my feelings with my family and that causes me to resent them when they continue a certain behavior
REally? So, you're dishonest and that makes it their fault that you're resentful.
That pretty much describes a sociopath in a nutshell.
To them, other people make them do it. So, you believe that they make you resent their behavior, eventhough the behavior is there because you lie to them.
Posted by VenusStar
at this point if I were to be honest about allll of my feelings it would cause a rift again
"again"
Posted by VenusStar
I have a laundry list of things that upset me and just with this sibling but with other family members who disregard my feelings and fail to show me any kind of respect
click to expand
So, you are resentful that your (other) family members aren't agreeing with you about this one person who have a whole life of grips about, AND you think you deserve respect, and since they aren't agreeing with you, then you believe you are being disrespected because they aren't regarding your feelings enough for you.
From everything you wrote here .... it sounds like you're the one who's the bad family member.
You lie to them, you resent them ... and you think it's someone elses fault.
Maybe the best thing she can do is be honest, air her griefs, get it all out in the open. Have the show down, the "griff" as she calls it. I have a feeling if she is true to herself and stands up for herself, the family members might respect her and treat her better. At least she'll feel better getting it all off her chest. They'd probably be surprised, then understand her better, then actually become closer to her.
Ain't getting nowhere the way she's going.
Ain't getting nowhere the way she's going.
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