@CancerrifiC
11 Years
Single vs Marriage
30ish?
I'm a romantical libra, I've always been marriage minded. I'm taking a break for a while though. I'm gonna stay single for a while and focus on myself.
I like the concept of marriage. I'm traditional. I like the security and stability of marriage. I also like the idea of a life partner to battle through life's adversities with. Yes, you can have that without marriage, but, marriage makes it legal and socially acceptable. Not to mention the religious aspects - a union that includes God and is recognized in the eyes of God stastically tends to be a stronger union.
Posted by LibraSid
30ish?
Yes 🙂 30 ish ish
I would like to get married some day.. If the person was right. I'll know if they aren't. I tend to be more traditional and I'm only getting married once. If it doesn't work out I'll just date forever.
The ex and I were together 7 years and I had no desire to get married so I'm definitely not in a rush.
Posted by tiziani
I will get married.It seems to me like a well-led life being single is a lot like being married actually, from what I hear.
I heard the other way around.
I preferred being partnered.
Legal marriage isn't a requirement for me
Posted by CancerrifiC
Which do you prefer and why? Im starting to slowly let go of the idea of wanting marriage. As I get older and become more exposed to different types of relationships and peoples ideas and views on marriage, especially men, its starting to become a big turn off.
Same here, and I've noticed this trend as well.
I've noticed a lot of bitching and whining from guys who act like they get suckered into marriage and the like. I'm sure there's some evil twats out there who have done this to a guy, but I can't help but think, "you have free will, you agreed to the decision. Wtf did you think you were getting into? Marriage is srs business."
Or I see married guys who always act like they're oh so miserable. Ooomg, the wife and kids. Omg I have no life. ....WHAT did you think marriage was?? If the first kid was an accident and you were coerced into some 1840 mindset to marry because she was knocked up, nobody told you to have MORE kids or even MARRY the chick!
I know situations vary, but I'm quite disturbed how often I see guys acting like they're the poor victims when they made the conscious decision to do what they did. And because of their shitty choices, they go around acting like all of it is some crime, and proceed to instill their image of marriage on to other guys- who in turn think marriage is awful and shitty.
Personally, I've grown whatever about it like you have. I don't WANT it, but I haven't completely ruled it out, if it were to happen. But the state of society makes one kinda wary about doing so.
I'm too much of a romantic and optimist to give up on the idea of marriage. I think it should work and it should be great (most of the time). I miss the companionship and the promise of forever. You gotta find the right person though.
I'll let you ladies know that the caliber of the average woman isn't much higher than what you're describing in the men. I'm a single dad and am often around mothers (married and single). They bad mouth their husbands just as much.
I blamed our society's sense of entitlement in a recent thread and stick by it. Everything in our society is cheap and easy and disposable. We don't wanna work hard for, or on, anything. Relationships are no different. People want the good without the bad, the rewards without the sacrifice.
I'm not sure if my ideas of what a marriage should be are even possible or realistic. It makes sense in my head, but so does a lot of other shit that doesn't actually work lol.
I think I'm just on the other side of the line from you Rocky. I still WANT it, but it's okay of it don't happen and I'm on a dating vacation for a while. Definitely not looking for it.
Posted by CancerrifiC
Which do you prefer and why? Im starting to slowly let go of the idea of wanting marriage. As I get older and become more exposed to different types of relationships and peoples ideas and views on marriage, especially men, its starting to become a big turn off.Same here, and I've noticed this trend as well.
I've noticed a lot of bitching and whining from guys who act like they get suckered into marriage and the like. I'm sure there's some evil twats out there who have done this to a guy, but I can't help but think, "you have free will, you agreed to the decision. Wtf did you think you were getting into? Marriage is srs business."
Personally, I've grown whatever about it like you have. I don't WANT it, but I haven't completely ruled it out, if it were to happen. But the state of society makes one kinda wary about doing so.
click to expand
lol sooo true. I think the problem is PEOPLE go into marriage for selfish reasons looking for unrealistic marital bliss.
Posted by CancerrifiC
Which do you prefer and why? Im starting to slowly let go of the idea of wanting marriage. As I get older and become more exposed to different types of relationships and peoples ideas and views on marriage, especially men, its starting to become a big turn off.Go with your flow. You know best 🙂
When I was single: I LOOOOOOVED being single. Enjoyed every moment.
I am now married: I feel the same way. It's not the idea of marriage itself, but the person I married. We complete each other in so many ways. Being married to the right person makes the experience just as wonderful.click to expand
How long have you been married, if you dont mind me asking?.....I am loyal by default cant help it, no matter how mean my mate has been to me, I dont do tit for tat, I just leave. One of my big issues and what I have noticed is infidelity. Ive watch close friends of mine cheat on their wives and girlfriends, and keep in mind the wife and girlfriend are bi-sexual and allow for other women to join them in the bedroom, and these men still cheat. smh
Posted by LibraSid
I'm too much of a romantic and optimist to give up on the idea of marriage. I think it should work and it should be great (most of the time). I miss the companionship and the promise of forever. You gotta find the right person though.I'll let you ladies know that the caliber of the average woman isn't much higher than what you're describing in the men. I'm a single dad and am often around mothers (married and single). They bad mouth their husbands just as much.
I blamed our society's sense of entitlement in a recent thread and stick by it. Everything in our society is cheap and easy and disposable. We don't wanna work hard for, or on, anything. Relationships are no different. People want the good without the bad, the rewards without the sacrifice.
I'm not sure if my ideas of what a marriage should be are even possible or realistic. It makes sense in my head, but so does a lot of other shit that doesn't actually work lol.
I think I'm just on the other side of the line from you Rocky. I still WANT it, but it's okay of it don't happen and I'm on a dating vacation for a while. Definitely not looking for it.
+1000 I totally agree
Posted by CancerrifiC
Which do you prefer and why? Im starting to slowly let go of the idea of wanting marriage. As I get older and become more exposed to different types of relationships and peoples ideas and views on marriage, especially men, its starting to become a big turn off.Same here, and I've noticed this trend as well.
I've noticed a lot of bitching and whining from guys who act like they get suckered into marriage and the like. I'm sure there's some evil twats out there who have done this to a guy, but I can't help but think, "you have free will, you agreed to the decision. Wtf did you think you were getting into? Marriage is srs business."
Personally, I've grown whatever about it like you have. I don't WANT it, but I haven't completely ruled it out, if it were to happen. But the state of society makes one kinda wary about doing so.
lol sooo true. I think the problem is PEOPLE go into marriage for selfish reasons looking for unrealistic marital bliss.
click to expand
Selfish and STUPID reasons.
"Oh, I knocked you up? Guess I'll marry you..." Or girls that even think that's the solution if she gets knocked up. This isn't little fucking house on the prairie here.
And just because your genitalia is compatible doesn't mean your marriage will be.
^^^^^ I like this a lot. As I have said before, I actually miss being married. I honestly don't feel like I have a "Home" without it.
I've been married for long time, tried FWB's and also living with someone. I'm single and I know I love myself and feel better about me when I am. I like looking after me more than I like looking after someone else and that's what I end up doing in a relationship. If I met someone that was completely independent, it might be something I'd consider but I haven't so I'm very happy just doing me 🙂
How long have you been married, if you dont mind me asking?.....I am loyal by default cant help it, no matter how mean my mate has been to me, I dont do tit for tat, I just leave. One of my big issues and what I have noticed is infidelity. Ive watch close friends of mine cheat on their wives and girlfriends, and keep in mind the wife and girlfriend are bi-sexual and allow for other women to join them in the bedroom, and these men still cheat. smh
Hey CancerrifiC,
I've been together with him for 11yrs, married 4yrs. Never had cheating issues.
Your environment might be feeding your insecurities. Try to find more like-minded friends... You might feel better that way.click to expandSounds beautiful 🙂 wishing you a lifetime of togetherness.....Could be true, I have distant myself from them for a couple of months now. I must say its been a little better.
I've been married once. I don't really know how I feel about it now. I can see myself not marrying again but remaining partnered. Heck I don't even have to live with them, but I am not going to close my mind to possibilities. I've grown so used to living on my own, I quite enjoy it.
I will prefer to get married with the right person otherwise i will prefer to stay single 🙂
Posted by CancerrifiC
Which do you prefer and why? Im starting to slowly let go of the idea of wanting marriage. As I get older and become more exposed to different types of relationships and peoples ideas and views on marriage, especially men, its starting to become a big turn off.Go with your flow. You know best 🙂
When I was single: I LOOOOOOVED being single. Enjoyed every moment.
I am now married: I feel the same way. It's not the idea of marriage itself, but the person I married. We complete each other in so many ways. Being married to the right person makes the experience just as wonderful.+1
How long have you been married, if you dont mind me asking?.....I am loyal by default cant help it, no matter how mean my mate has been to me, I dont do tit for tat, I just leave. One of my big issues and what I have noticed is infidelity. Ive watch close friends of mine cheat on their wives and girlfriends, and keep in mind the wife and girlfriend are bi-sexual and allow for other women to join them in the bedroom, and these men still cheat. smh
click to expand
single ....
I wasnt married but I was with ex for 8 years and we almost made it and have a beautiful 5 year old but it didnt work out.
I think I will stay single not date around much but I will focus more on security, stability and on my daughter.
although I am open to getting married someday, far off future since I am traditional. I came from a conservative traditional family and only one who is not happily married.
🙂
In whatever you want or choose, make it work for YOU.
Trying to live the single life like everyone else won't cut it.
Trying to live the married life like everyone else won't cut it either.
Being single doesn't mean loneliness or that you're a bad catch.
Being married doesn't mean you're happy or a good catch.
If you want to be single, be single fiercely, BUT set your own rules.
If you want to be married, give it your all, BUT be with someone who fits YOU and what YOU want, and not what your girlfriends, parents or society thinks you oughta want
There's nothing wrong with either enjoying/spending time with yourself or someone else.
It's not that marriage is bad or not worth it. It's that your confidence in it is not there. Big difference.
It's not that being single is the worst thing ever. It only is when you've convinced yourself that it is. Big difference
I love being married. But that's b/c I'm with the right person, that I met at the right time, for all the right reasons. Unless all 3 of those 'rights' were in the equation, my marriage wouldn't be worth it.
Before you shun something, take into consideration that nothing involving 1 person ever feels fulfilling unless that 1 person (being single) has the time of their life. Take into consideration that nothing involving 2 people will ever feel fulfilling unless both people are giving it their all and having the time of their lives. The problem is that people are miserable while single and/or not giving it their all when married. It's unfair to overgeneralize the single life or married life overall though all b/c a few folks didn't do it right.
You can be both happily single or happily married. Both are achievable.
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Which do you prefer and why? Im starting to slowly let go of the idea of wanting marriage. As I get older and become more exposed to different types of relationships and peoples ideas and views on marriage, especially men, its starting to become a big turn off.