candy10
@candy10
14 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 617 · Topics: 39
Is he over me?
CONTINUATION**
but I barely got two words out of him with regards to how he feels.
He asked me general questions at first..and then went in to if ive found anyone..i said no..he said are your parents or friends introducing you to anyone? I said yea they are tryin but realyl iv not had any interest in anyone. He then asked what is my type of guy (as if he never liked me or something).and what my requirements are with regards to marriage...I said i dont have any. requirements..he then said i should think about it as time goes by so quickly..the whole time i was thinking I just want it to be him who im with and get married to no one else..so why is he talking about me and other people..
and then he said I should find someone who will take care of me and who will talk about their feelings...and again i was thinking why is he not tallking about himself like he used to. or even tel me he missed me like he used to..
and then at the end I just generally asked him how he feels..i meant generally not even about me and he said..he feels upset and happy tht i came..and angry..so mixed emotions..and then I said why are you upset and he then just changed the subject. so it was hard to get anythin out of him.
he asked my why i went to all the effort to contact him and as per usual like all my life no words came oiut...all i said was i wanted to find out what happened to him and he said and tht is it? is aid yes..ane he said now I know what do i want to do..do i want ot be friends..and i just in ym head obviously thought a lot mroe than friends but i thought i would go along with what hes saying
right at the end he said he would contact me next year when he comes out but he said also what if im married surely my husband or my partner to want him to contact me and all i was thinking is omg why does he keep pushing me away and talking about other people..does he not feel the same anymore?
just befre the time was up for the visit..he asked me if he could hug me..and i said ok..lol.and he put his arm around my waist for about a minute n then let go.he then said hes really happy i came and to let his sister know when i get home safely.
i walked off then realised i might not see him again for a long time so i turned around to see what he was doing and he was sitting in his chair looking up at me in my direction .. so he was already watching me i assume...
and that was it.
All I know is tht when i went for this visit i wasnted him to pour out his feelings about me but he didnt it was all just about me moving on with other people and him asking me so many questions as to why i got in contact...i dont know what he is thinking ..and mybe i would have told him eberything to his face if he was open.
but I barely got two words out of him with regards to how he feels.
He asked me general questions at first..and then went in to if ive found anyone..i said no..he said are your parents or friends introducing you to anyone? I said yea they are tryin but realyl iv not had any interest in anyone. He then asked what is my type of guy (as if he never liked me or something).and what my requirements are with regards to marriage...I said i dont have any. requirements..he then said i should think about it as time goes by so quickly..the whole time i was thinking I just want it to be him who im with and get married to no one else..so why is he talking about me and other people..
and then he said I should find someone who will take care of me and who will talk about their feelings...and again i was thinking why is he not tallking about himself like he used to. or even tel me he missed me like he used to..
and then at the end I just generally asked him how he feels..i meant generally not even about me and he said..he feels upset and happy tht i came..and angry..so mixed emotions..and then I said why are you upset and he then just changed the subject. so it was hard to get anythin out of him.
he asked my why i went to all the effort to contact him and as per usual like all my life no words came oiut...all i said was i wanted to find out what happened to him and he said and tht is it? is aid yes..ane he said now I know what do i want to do..do i want ot be friends..and i just in ym head obviously thought a lot mroe than friends but i thought i would go along with what hes saying
right at the end he said he would contact me next year when he comes out but he said also what if im married surely my husband or my partner to want him to contact me and all i was thinking is omg why does he keep pushing me away and talking about other people..does he not feel the same anymore?
just befre the time was up for the visit..he asked me if he could hug me..and i said ok..lol.and he put his arm around my waist for about a minute n then let go.he then said hes really happy i came and to let his sister know when i get home safely.
i walked off then realised i might not see him again for a long time so i turned around to see what he was doing and he was sitting in his chair looking up at me in my direction .. so he was already watching me i assume...
and that was it.
All I know is tht when i went for this visit i wasnted him to pour out his feelings about me but he didnt it was all just about me moving on with other people and him asking me so many questions as to why i got in contact...i dont know what he is thinking ..and mybe i would have told him eberything to his face if he was open.
Here we go again.
You've been a lunatic for..how many years now?
At this point I don't even think you're human.
Wake the fuck up already.
You've been a lunatic for..how many years now?
At this point I don't even think you're human.
Wake the fuck up already.
There's no way you can even function in society.
Who ties your shoelaces? Do you have a guardian to watch over you?
Who ties your shoelaces? Do you have a guardian to watch over you?
thanks idiot yourself lol
If I could reach out and give you a hug girl, I would do it! Firstly, I don't think he is over you, if that were the case, he would not have asked you to come and see him, but that is my view on this. Once again, just another opinion. Have you seen him more than once while in prison? Maybe he was going through so many emotions at the moment of seeing you that he himself wasn't able to act like he normally did. Also accept that if he is miserable in there ( and who wouldn't be) that you might not see the guy you once knew. I am not going to ask the nature of why he is in there, not my business but am going to ask if YOU know? Also is this something that he's going to be in there for a long period of time? In any case I wouldn't guess his answer of moving on or not based on the one meeting you had while you seen him.......I think give it time and let him adjust to seeing you again more. The main question at this point also is for YOU to figure out what you want to do, based on the amount of time that he is going to be in there. Once you figure out if you're going to wait for him or not, you will have a better idea on how to handle that situation shall it come up in conversation.
well this is just great, while i writing all my blah blah blah............the REST of the story comes up, let me read all this NOW!!!!!!!!! Ugh, here we go
ok well here we go again. I do think you're missing a few points here Candy. From what I can see, he HAS expressed himself, you just didn't see it. You're saying that maybe you would have told him everything if he would have been more open? I am not so sure that you yourself are able to be as open with him as he clearly has been with you dear. I felt sorry for you when I first started to read your post before I read the continuation part......you had a chance to express your feelings and didn't. Now another chance comes along and you're STILL holding back but you expect him to pour out even more of his feelings while you're tongue tied on yours? People give up after awhile. My best advice is to see if you can see him again before he gets out, have the courage to express yourself. Don't wait for that time to pass when he gets out. Also....he probably really doesn't want you to find out, but at the same time, you're not exactly letting him know how you feel about him either so what do you expect? If you don't let him know how you feel, you can't feel sorry for yourself if you lose him forever. Step up to he plate and let him know how you feel about him..........then take it from there. Good luck!
Posted by SB70thanks 😄. i need more people like you to give advice lol
If I could reach out and give you a hug girl, I would do it! Firstly, I don't think he is over you, if that were the case, he would not have asked you to come and see him, but that is my view on this. Once again, just another opinion. Have you seen him more than once while in prison? Maybe he was going through so many emotions at the moment of seeing you that he himself wasn't able to act like he normally did. Also accept that if he is miserable in there ( and who wouldn't be) that you might not see the guy you once knew. I am not going to ask the nature of why he is in there, not my business but am going to ask if YOU know? Also is this something that he's going to be in there for a long period of time? In any case I wouldn't guess his answer of moving on or not based on the one meeting you had while you seen him.......I think give it time and let him adjust to seeing you again more. The main question at this point also is for YOU to figure out what you want to do, based on the amount of time that he is going to be in there. Once you figure out if you're going to wait for him or not, you will have a better idea on how to handle that situation shall it come up in conversation.
yea he asked me..and then he got his sister to contact me to help me book a visit as he cnt call me from prison its too expensive something like tht...and then apparently he kept aking her a couple of times after if i had booked a visit or not...and also lik how i am and stuff like tht
last week was the first and only time iv been..and even then he said he doesnt want me to visit him after :s :/.. i said i will find out where he is he said he will make sure his sister doesnt tell me...he said it in a lighthearted way but i knew he was being serious..amd then he said in actual fact he doesnt want anyone coming to see him..as it reminds him of the outside
he really is miserable in there...hes giving up on everything it seems..hes quite hateful now too on the people who sent him int here..and i do know what he did i heard him out and it was actually self defence he was provoked..deep down he is a nice guy..i mean i hv known him for six to eight years now..
im going to try going again and gettin in deeper in to his feelings about me...but seeing as i dont normally do tth under nrmal circumstances it will be hard...
and obviously even harder when he would speak to me about marriage and kids and now straight to my face he said he doesnt want any of tht and then asking me what i want what im looking for in a guy...and the whole time i was thinking its him...but didnt say :/
i dunno if him asking for a hug meant anything at the end? and then him watching me as i walk away? but these are little things i guess im trying to hold on to
Posted by SB70about a year ago i sent him a six page letter..which his sister claimed she read to him over the phone..and literally everything wasin tht letter..how i felt about him to how i dont wsnt asnyone else..and tht i want ot marry him etc,...he didnt actually mention the letter..but either way all my friends and everyone else can see why i spent a year tryin to contact him so why cnt he..
ok well here we go again. I do think you're missing a few points here Candy. From what I can see, he HAS expressed himself, you just didn't see it. You're saying that maybe you would have told him everything if he would have been more open? I am not so sure that you yourself are able to be as open with him as he clearly has been with you dear. I felt sorry for you when I first started to read your post before I read the continuation part......you had a chance to express your feelings and didn't. Now another chance comes along and you're STILL holding back but you expect him to pour out even more of his feelings while you're tongue tied on yours? People give up after awhile. My best advice is to see if you can see him again before he gets out, have the courage to express yourself. Don't wait for that time to pass when he gets out. Also....he probably really doesn't want you to find out, but at the same time, you're not exactly letting him know how you feel about him either so what do you expect? If you don't let him know how you feel, you can't feel sorry for yourself if you lose him forever. Step up to he plate and let him know how you feel about him..........then take it from there. Good luck!
he had to ask me why i did all tht..and wht to do from here...
but youre right i do need to for the first time ever be honest s
I'd say not expect him to act like his normal self when he's not in a normal environment . Maybe after he gets out, he can get rid of his bitterness but that might take time. I believe he was reaching out to you. Maybe if he knows how you truly feel about him, it can give him something to hold onto and look forward to. Him wanting you to find someone else is also something that people who are depressed would say, maybe he feels worthless........I am sure he's going through all kinds of negative emotions but don't let this all push you back. Show him how you feel and give him support but also, don't act like you don't have a life and are waiting around for him, he might take that as pressure. Just say how you feel and live your life the best you can right now.
Posted by SB70lol i do have a life..but he was a big part of it...i dont know hoow him or anyone could expect me to just frget about him or not care anymore it wasnt a matter of months..years and years we would see each other..talk to each other for eight hours at a time...and when thts gone its really hard to handle...
I'd say not expect him to act like his normal self when he's not in a normal environment . Maybe after he gets out, he can get rid of his bitterness but that might take time. I believe he was reaching out to you. Maybe if he knows how you truly feel about him, it can give him something to hold onto and look forward to. Him wanting you to find someone else is also something that people who are depressed would say, maybe he feels worthless........I am sure he's going through all kinds of negative emotions but don't let this all push you back. Show him how you feel and give him support but also, don't act like you don't have a life and are waiting around for him, he might take that as pressure. Just say how you feel and live your life the best you can right now.
i did try to move on to other people but it didnt work...i kept thinking about him
ever since he went to prison..from the goodbye to even now when iv come in to contact with him..hes done everything he can to push me away from him..and its ironic as..wen he was out of prison he said tht to me like why am i pushing him away..dont i know how much he likes me and cares about me..
i feel like with me its the L word lol..but i dont kno if or how i can say tht to him when he hasnt even done so...he would say i was special and he would always miss me and he would b depressed without me but he didnt use the word love
like i said, i think you have to expect that some things with him have changed, not saying feelings but if he's depressed, he won't act the same he once did. From my point of view, i think he's been way more expressive about himself that you have about yourself. Trust me, I know how hard it is to have that kind of relationship where it goes from all to almost nothing or at least feel that way but at the end of the day it's he how needs to know how you feel. He's done his part about this already, now it's your turn. You have a chance to turn around a huge regret and let him know, do it before he vanishes.
Posted by SB70ye i think its effected him a lot as he said once he leaves prison he will need to go to a park and process what the hell happened to him..exactly his words
like i said, i think you have to expect that some things with him have changed, not saying feelings but if he's depressed, he won't act the same he once did. From my point of view, i think he's been way more expressive about himself that you have about yourself. Trust me, I know how hard it is to have that kind of relationship where it goes from all to almost nothing or at least feel that way but at the end of the day it's he how needs to know how you feel. He's done his part about this already, now it's your turn. You have a chance to turn around a huge regret and let him know, do it before he vanishes.
i think youre right...ill just tell him everything..its my turn now...might help him feel better even knowing there is someone..i dont kno
honeslty it felt like i lost someone..like he died or something..the feeling i got when he left 😢
Posted by candy10You had admitted he gave you all of it and dumped you for being a tight ass.Posted by SB70about a year ago i sent him a six page letter..which his sister claimed she read to him over the phone..and literally everything wasin tht letter..how i felt about him to how i dont wsnt asnyone else..and tht i want ot marry him etc,...he didnt actually mention the letter..but either way all my friends and everyone else can see why i spent a year tryin to contact him so why cnt he..
ok well here we go again. I do think you're missing a few points here Candy. From what I can see, he HAS expressed himself, you just didn't see it. You're saying that maybe you would have told him everything if he would have been more open? I am not so sure that you yourself are able to be as open with him as he clearly has been with you dear. I felt sorry for you when I first started to read your post before I read the continuation part......you had a chance to express your feelings and didn't. Now another chance comes along and you're STILL holding back but you expect him to pour out even more of his feelings while you're tongue tied on yours? People give up after awhile. My best advice is to see if you can see him again before he gets out, have the courage to express yourself. Don't wait for that time to pass when he gets out. Also....he probably really doesn't want you to find out, but at the same time, you're not exactly letting him know how you feel about him either so what do you expect? If you don't let him know how you feel, you can't feel sorry for yourself if you lose him forever. Step up to he plate and let him know how you feel about him..........then take it from there. Good luck!
he had to ask me why i did all tht..and wht to do from here...
but youre right i do need to for the first time ever be honest sclick to expand
He obviously warm and caring person and he has nothing in return. So he can't be like this.
My friend just opened up how she had suffered her whole life because she needed her mom
to hug her and talk to her but mom had no such feelings.
When people LOVE people they do stuff that is out of their comfort zone like if you are mute
and he is loving and warm - you tell him ONCE per year that you love him and make him
HAPPY! As he making you happy every awakening moment.
I wouldn't want to live with someone so cold and distant. Ask him about the letter IF you had
ever actually wrote it and not making it up.
And he is NOT pushing you away. He is still waiting for you to open your mouth and tell
him that you love him. WHY is it so hard if you do? Maybe you don't?
Posted by GemitatiPosted by candy10You had admitted he gave you all of it and dumped you for being a tight ass.Posted by SB70about a year ago i sent him a six page letter..which his sister claimed she read to him over the phone..and literally everything wasin tht letter..how i felt about him to how i dont wsnt asnyone else..and tht i want ot marry him etc,...he didnt actually mention the letter..but either way all my friends and everyone else can see why i spent a year tryin to contact him so why cnt he..
ok well here we go again. I do think you're missing a few points here Candy. From what I can see, he HAS expressed himself, you just didn't see it. You're saying that maybe you would have told him everything if he would have been more open? I am not so sure that you yourself are able to be as open with him as he clearly has been with you dear. I felt sorry for you when I first started to read your post before I read the continuation part......you had a chance to express your feelings and didn't. Now another chance comes along and you're STILL holding back but you expect him to pour out even more of his feelings while you're tongue tied on yours? People give up after awhile. My best advice is to see if you can see him again before he gets out, have the courage to express yourself. Don't wait for that time to pass when he gets out. Also....he probably really doesn't want you to find out, but at the same time, you're not exactly letting him know how you feel about him either so what do you expect? If you don't let him know how you feel, you can't feel sorry for yourself if you lose him forever. Step up to he plate and let him know how you feel about him..........then take it from there. Good luck!
he had to ask me why i did all tht..and wht to do from here...
but youre right i do need to for the first time ever be honest s
He obviously warm and caring person and he has nothing in return. So he can't be like this.
My friend just opened up how she had suffered her whole life because she needed her mom
to hug her and talk to her but mom had no such feelings.
When people LOVE people they do stuff that is out of their comfort zone like if you are mute
and he is loving and warm - you tell him ONCE per year that you love him and make him
HAPPY! As he making you happy every awakening moment.
I wouldn't want to live with someone so cold and distant. Ask him about the letter IF you had
ever actually wrote it and not making it up.
And he is NOT pushing you away. He is still waiting for you to open your mouth and tell
him that you love him. WHY is it so hard if you do? Maybe you don't?click to expand
oops what i meant to say was it is hard to use the Love word as every moment now he is tlking about me and other guys...n i think how can he say all tht when he wanted me all tht time...
and also he laughed at the fact i was trying to find him after he said goodbye..as thts how he took it as he wont speak to me again and didnt understand y i didnt see it the same..
so tht is why it is hard to suddenly say the LOVE word..as yes maybe he used to be caring and open up with his emotons but right now im not getin much when i visited him
and also he laughed at the fact i was trying to find him after he said goodbye..as thts how he took it as he wont speak to me again and didnt understand y i didnt see it the same..
so tht is why it is hard to suddenly say the LOVE word..as yes maybe he used to be caring and open up with his emotons but right now im not getin much when i visited him
Posted by candy10You are not getting much because you had missed your chance.
oops what i meant to say was it is hard to use the Love word as every moment now he is tlking about me and other guys...n i think how can he say all tht when he wanted me all tht time...
and also he laughed at the fact i was trying to find him after he said goodbye..as thts how he took it as he wont speak to me again and didnt understand y i didnt see it the same..
so tht is why it is hard to suddenly say the LOVE word..as yes maybe he used to be caring and open up with his emotons but right now im not getin much when i visited him
He understood he will not melt this ice but living in an igloo wasn't what he was hoping for.
NOW it is YOU who need to break the ice and if he will not respond in the way you want
- at least you will know it is over. Or maybe he will be back to you. You don't want to live
life wondering what if do you?
omg, not you again .... you're still up the butt of the same guy who couldn't give a rats ass?
jfc
Posted by Gemitatitrue i have to just come out with the truth for the first time . It is really hard though having someone around for eight years..being so nice to me caring...wanting to be with me and marry me..the whole nine yards..and all of a sudden in a day its all gone.. and i cant find that person anywhere..even after a visit.Posted by candy10You are not getting much because you had missed your chance.
oops what i meant to say was it is hard to use the Love word as every moment now he is tlking about me and other guys...n i think how can he say all tht when he wanted me all tht time...
and also he laughed at the fact i was trying to find him after he said goodbye..as thts how he took it as he wont speak to me again and didnt understand y i didnt see it the same..
so tht is why it is hard to suddenly say the LOVE word..as yes maybe he used to be caring and open up with his emotons but right now im not getin much when i visited him
He understood he will not melt this ice but living in an igloo wasn't what he was hoping for.
NOW it is YOU who need to break the ice and if he will not respond in the way you want
- at least you will know it is over. Or maybe he will be back to you. You don't want to live
life wondering what if do you?click to expand
Posted by Koniuchahe told me he was trying to save his family member who was gettin knocked about by some other guy. he then came and it was lik war between him and this other guy and he won i guess..
What is he in prison for?
but he said he only tried to help and tht is why he landed himself in prison
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A year and a half ago now so last march, he called me up one day and said he wanted to say goodbye as things are no longer going to work out and i was really surrpised. Obviously we had been in contact for years throughout. He just said he is going to be honest he really likes me but we are from two different worlds and its not going to work, he asked me if i had anything to say I was too speechless to say anything at the time and also too upset to speak so i didnt even ask why now and why he wanted to leave it all behind. Next day I tried to call but his number was disconnected. I couldnt get through.
The last whole year I tried and tried to get on with my life but he was always at the back of my mind. I knew I had to get a hold of him. Some how i blamed myself maybe thought he had enough of me not giving him what he gave me and not gettin what he wants, so maybe he decided to move on. But I just wanted to tell him everything that I was just the type of person to keep things inside but didnt mean I didnt care and pretty much tht i wanted to move forwards with him. What i did was i wrote a very personal six page letter detailing what he meant, exactly a year ago. But i got no response whatsoever. In the leter I even said I could see us married I only felt tht wat about him no one else. His sister later told me she read it to him on the phone.
This year in June it was a long process but I finally found out he was in prison the whole time.. Which explained his sudden disappearance and no responses to my letter. He finally called me and i spoke to him after such a long time. He couldnt talk for long just said I should visit him in prison and he then got his sister to contact me and we could pass messages through her.
I visited him last week..it was weird...overwhelming..depressing..surprising. He was nice to me and treated me ok, told me why he was in there. He was consumed with anger though and frustration at being inside didnt think he should b in there and its like he was a different person. With me not seeing him for so long I expected maybe he would tell me what he feels about me or something, but I barely got two words out of him with regards to how he feels.