Is there such a thing as unrequited love?

I have always thought of love as a game - kind of a mutual give and take between two people and I really never understood the concept of loving someone who doesn't love you back. If I am into someone and I give my usual, subtle Cancerian clues that I like the guy, and he responds, it becomes a dance between us. If I feel like I am starting to get too attached, you bet I will pull away if the other person is not reciprocating. In the beginning stages, if the person is not responsive, but I am very attracted, I only think that my ego is be bruised and thats why I feel so down, but that is all, no matter how infatuated I am. It cannot be love - I don't really know the person afterall.

But then when it gets a little bit deeper, and the person then pulls away, of course you feel like an addict and you only THINK you need that person, but realistically you don't, and you probably need to pull away as well. Some would say that this is love, and that it can be love but I don't buy it. Is it really possible to be in love with someone who does not love you back— Doesn't love require that two people love each other and that there is some sense of mutuality between you?

It's very contradictory of me because on the one hand I really believe love is the most important thing in life, and if I find the right person, I will do anything for them and put us first no matter what. But on the other hand, I also believe that no man, no matter how in love I am, could be worth my 'unrequited' love. I can't help but at that point conclude that it's not love - it is just an infatuation because I NEED the man I am with to appreciate me. It is an essential part of the puzzle for me. What it takes for me to love, I think, is also knowing that the other person knows how to appreciate me, and does. Otherwise, what is the point? Why would i waste my time pining over someone who is not interested? I just dismiss it as a temporary sickness which will be gone as soon as the next love interest arrives on the scene. Does anyone have different perspectives—

malirak,

I did not "get lost" in reading your post--I understand completely what you are saying because I feel the same way for the most part. As another posted I have had many men love me when I didn't love them and I have loved one who didn't return the feelings. He has feelings for me but not love. Living is feeling so if you love someone and they don't return it you shouldn't feel badly about it. Ok you feel bad that they don't return your love, but that's when you have to put things into perspective. They may never return your feelings so you have to decide at what point do you pack it in and give up. You don't want to spend time/energy on someone who doesn't love you. Because the one who will return your love is waiting out there somewhere for you to discover him or he to discover you! Just be glad that you have emotions/feelings to care for another person. Some people are devoid of these feelings or won't allow themselves to become vulnerable to another person. I wouldn't want to live like that. However, being vulnerable to another person so much that you fall in love with them doesn't mean you should allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Be wise enough to know when to let go...


Bottom line: There is such a thing as unrequited love. If you love someone and they don't love you let go. If it is meant to be then one day you two will find your way back to each other--that's just how it is.

What a rather bleak perspective. Just wish I could tell you that you are wrong....