Is it hard for a guy to say he's not interested?

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by LunarMaiden on Saturday, October 27, 2012 and has 11 replies.

Profile picture of LunarMaiden
@LunarMaiden
14 Years5,000+ Posts

And if it is, what do you do to show you are not interested?
I think this will be very helpful to both sexes.
This is your chance to be brutally honest.
I feel that guys have a hard time telling a girl to her face he doesn't really want her.
Hell even over the phone, text or IM.

Am I right?

Why disappear, with no word or contact?
Is that easier for you?
Are you avoiding confrontation?
Are you avoiding your emotions or hers?
Is it cowardice?
Do you give a shit either way?

If you could also share why you lost interest. That would be helpful.

I would be grateful for you honesty and no judgment for your answers.

🙂

Profile picture of sweethearts
@sweethearts
20 Years5,000+ Posts

I'm not a guy...

but if the guy hasn't invested any emotion or feeling into the girl then why should he bother.

The problem is that the girl as soon as she has sex with a guy starts to feel and thinks he should too...however this isn't true. A guy can sex you 10 times over and still not develop any feelings for you apart from the feeling he gets with his little head...

Therefore, disappearing or not telling of his intention to not see you again really isn't an issue with him...but it is for a girl who feels that she is owed something!

Profile picture of Rays Heart
@Rays Heart
17 Years1,000+ Posts

I usually tell a girl when I'm not interested, I just won't get into details on why, even if she ask. I don't think it's necessary. I'm just one individual and represent only one opinion of you. I only find it hard if she's adorable.

Profile picture of lblibra
@lblibra
13 YearsLibra

it's easy to tell em sorry your not interested and thats it No need to rub salt into the wound.. I expect the same courtesy if i ask and get shot down ,, No biggie really

Profile picture of beautifulsoul74
@beautifulsoul74
14 Years5,000+ Posts

If I'm not interested, I won't take it beyond friendship and I keep it strictly platonic. This is one thing that I get on men...or boys... About. We pretty much know, like women, early on whether we want something deeper and long term. But I digress, too many men sleep with women knowing they want something long term while he has no intention if committing. Step up and be a man, regardless if her reaction. Or better yet, don't sleep with her. Most women are understanding when you're upfront about not bring with them.

When I was asked why, I told them the truth about my feelings. It's takes courage to be truthful. But be sensitive as well.

Profile picture of beautifulsoul74
@beautifulsoul74
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by harry99
I have one real life friend & my mom & siblings. Thats enough for me. I've had enough of dealing with people's butter/baggage & all the new age hook-up etc... bull-butter. I'm just happy that I've only ever actually loved one of my past partners . But I think I'm just over the nonsense now. People are always acting like cookiemonsters. Smh. I'm gonna worry about my art and checking things off on my bucket list. "the race of men is failing" "and some things that should not have been forgotten have been lost" "you know of what I speak" in other words the answer is yes "men" do have a hard time saying their not interested *deep sigh* been there dealt with that

There are 6 billion people on the planet, over 40% of which are men. There plenty of us out there that treat women right and bust our tails to build a life. Generalization only undermines your point. Simply put, if you keep giving chances to a guy who is inconsistent in his behavior, then the person responsible for how you feel and what you go through is you. You can't change anybody. If he doesn't step up, keep it moving. The race if men is not falling. You shouldn't say that unless you know every single man on this earth.

Profile picture of ScorpSuperior
@ScorpSuperior
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Yea, right, lol. People ALWAYS claim they want you to be upfront with them, but when you do, they get pissed. In some ways I can understand why a guy might choose to avoid a woman rather than just be honest with her about why he's not interested. Truth is hard to handle for many.

Profile picture of LibraSid
@LibraSid
16 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

Posted by LunarMaiden

I feel that guys have a hard time telling a girl to her face he doesn't really want her.
Hell even over the phone, text or IM.

Am I right?

Why disappear, with no word or contact?
Is that easier for you?
Are you avoiding confrontation?
Are you avoiding your emotions or hers?
Is it cowardice?
Do you give a shit either way?

If you could also share why you lost interest. That would be helpful.

I can only speak for me but yes it is hard. It is far easier to just disappear and avoid the topic. If a guy actually does just disappear, yes that is from cowardice.

I have had to do this a couple times recently and it sucks. You're getting to know someone and its cool. You get along well and could prolly be good friends but I'm just not feeling anything more, but they are. Guys have a friend zone too... at least I do. The reason it is hard to face this is because you know going in that it isn't going to end well. You know it is the right thing to do, to clear the air and get everything out in the open. But right isn't always easy. You will end up leaving the conversation having made a friend feel terrible and yourself feel like a jerk. These feelings will fade but it just isn't a pretty conversation.

Profile picture of GemStar05
@GemStar05
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by harry99
I have one real life friend & my mom & siblings. Thats enough for me. I've had enough of dealing with people's butter/baggage & all the new age hook-up etc... bull-butter. I'm just happy that I've only ever actually loved one of my past partners . But I think I'm just over the nonsense now. People are always acting like cookiemonsters. Smh. I'm gonna worry about my art and checking things off on my bucket list. "the race of men is failing" "and some things that should not have been forgotten have been lost" "you know of what I speak" in other words the answer is yes "men" do have a hard time saying their not interested *deep sigh* been there dealt with that

There are 6 billion people on the planet, over 40% of which are men. There plenty of us out there that treat women right and bust our tails to build a life. Generalization only undermines your point. Simply put, if you keep giving chances to a guy who is inconsistent in his behavior, then the person responsible for how you feel and what you go through is you. You can't change anybody. If he doesn't step up, keep it moving. The race if men is not falling. You shouldn't say that unless you know every single man on this earth.

click to expand

Amen!