LDR’s pro and cons

I am inspired by @nanobot post in another thread and it made me think...(with whatever is that I have left to think with)...

Me and Aries are in LDR witch is only an hour drive. Nano said she is as well...and it’s food.

Me and Aries were just talking about it. I said I hate it. He said it’s good because we are taking it slow as it comes and I agree.

I see benefits of LDR is that we have time apart. To do our own things.

We do communicate all day long every day starting at 6:30am with good morning even if I am sleeping...I wake up to ‘swoosh’ and replying...

He tells me when he takes dog for a walk and going to the pool with his son and cooking and watching movies...etc.

We do the same when I am there.

So I know the structure of the day...

The benefits is that we don’t hang on each other asses and living life and when we are together is like vacation...

I am wondering...if it’s so good...why people who aren’t LDR are supposed to be up each other ass all the time or else?

And trust me I would be. Like let’s do this and that and hang out every night and basically...let’s live together...🤷‍♀️

So why IF we can’t - we are still ok but if we aren’t apart - we have to fuck each other brains until one run away or people just break up because they are suffocating each other?

And mind you...we are planning on being together. Both. It’s mutual agreement and nobody even questioning it. He said we can get married. I said what for? He said if you want to. I said not really. So...

Maybe ACTING like we are in LDR is a solution?

Hope Nano will shed light on it.

And everyone else is welcome to participate as well. ❤️❤️❤️

How is one hour LDR? I’d consider that local lol

Posted by PuzzlePieces

How is one hour LDR? I’d consider that local lol

I can’t just pop in whenever I want when I am working until 6pm...

That’s loooong drive...and how often would you do this? 🤷‍♀️

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by PuzzlePieces

How is one hour LDR? I’d consider that local lol

I can’t just pop in whenever I want when I am working until 6pm...

That’s loooong drive...and how often would you do this? 🤷‍♀️

click to expand

Well when I was dating two certain Libras earlier this year I went about once a week ( one had a softball game an hour away & the other lived in the town where the softball games were). Or drive over.. spend the night. Drive home or to work the next day.

You could also meet in the middle? Then it’s only a 1/2 hour. Which I drive that every day to work..

Posted by nanobot

Posted by Gemitati

I am wondering...if it’s so good...why people who aren’t LDR are supposed to be up each other ass all the time or else?

And trust me I would be. Like let’s do this and that and hang out every night and basically...let’s live together...🤷‍♀️

So why IF we can’t - we are still ok but if we aren’t apart - we have to fuck each other brains until one run away or people just break up because they are suffocating each other?

Well for me it's a LDR for only about 4 months out of the year at this point. So that's very manageable for us, personally. Also, the way the time zones work out, we are able to maintain almost constant contact.

Both he and I are not the type to shrivel up and die if we can't be around each other 100% of the time. He is not my oxygen. People ask me all the time "omg how do you do that, I never could be away from my bf" and I think "it's easy. How can you be around each other all the time without pissing each other off and getting sick of each other?" I need space to breathe and room to maintain being an individual person, as does he. If I feel suffocated, I begin to pick fights. If/when I move to Europe, I see myself taking solo vacations sometimes, and having my own space at home if/when we ever live together that I can go to be alone. Shit even when he's here, we are off doing our own things. That's just us

I'm not sure I understand the part of your post that I quoted above. People get comfortable and do everything together once a relationship gets "serious" because you are just naturally growing closer as the rship progresses. A lot of women lose their identities/platonic & family relationships with other people due to this, and I have done that to myself when I was younger and I hated it and never want to do it again.

I don't think people are supposed to be up each others ass all the time in a relationship. That actually sounds terrible to me. I think the opposite is actually important to maintaining anything long term. It just depends on the couple I guess, if they want to spend every possible waking moment together and that works for them 5-10-20-50 years down the line, then good for them.

click to expand

In that part what I was saying is...if we weren’t LD I would be up his ass...

It’s just me. I am over the top!

However we ARE LD and I am ok with that...because I can take it or leave it and I am not leaving it...

BUT if we weren’t LD I would NOT BE ok with not seeing him daily...

SO...where is the logic? No-fucking-where...right?

So my question is...are all these people who are suffering from non LD and not seeing each other daily...would they be ok if LD?

And is LD IS healthier after all for people to learn about themselves and each other? 🤷‍♀️

Posted by Lionheart917

Cons. An hour drive for a quickie.

Are you 12? Oh! No! When can you drive? 16? Lmao

I thought this was a really interesting question and I think it works because you both still communicate every day and often and yet you have time to do your own things. You must each other then get excited to see each other. It's perfect really. Once you live together it can still be amazing but you don't have the missing part as much.

It's interesting aswell because I don't see my Aries everyday and I can't wait to see him when I do but he isn't a big texter so I really feel the days as long at times not being in touch though we speak every night and I could text if I wanted too. X

Posted by nanobot

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by nanobot

Posted by Gemitati

I am wondering...if it’s so good...why people who aren’t LDR are supposed to be up each other ass all the time or else?

And trust me I would be. Like let’s do this and that and hang out every night and basically...let’s live together...🤷‍♀️

So why IF we can’t - we are still ok but if we aren’t apart - we have to fuck each other brains until one run away or people just break up because they are suffocating each other?

Well for me it's a LDR for only about 4 months out of the year at this point. So that's very manageable for us, personally. Also, the way the time zones work out, we are able to maintain almost constant contact.

Both he and I are not the type to shrivel up and die if we can't be around each other 100% of the time. He is not my oxygen. People ask me all the time "omg how do you do that, I never could be away from my bf" and I think "it's easy. How can you be around each other all the time without pissing each other off and getting sick of each other?" I need space to breathe and room to maintain being an individual person, as does he. If I feel suffocated, I begin to pick fights. If/when I move to Europe, I see myself taking solo vacations sometimes, and having my own space at home if/when we ever live together that I can go to be alone. Shit even when he's here, we are off doing our own things. That's just us

I'm not sure I understand the part of your post that I quoted above. People get comfortable and do everything together once a relationship gets "serious" because you are just naturally growing closer as the rship progresses. A lot of women lose their identities/platonic & family relationships with other people due to this, and I have done that to myself when I was younger and I hated it and never want to do it again.

I don't think people are supposed to be up each others ass all the time in a relationship. That actually sounds terrible to me. I think the opposite is actually important to maintaining anything long term. It just depends on the couple I guess, if they want to spend every possible waking moment together and that works for them 5-10-20-50 years down the line, then good for them.

In that part what I was saying is...if we weren’t LD I would be up his ass...

It’s just me. I am over the top!

However we ARE LD and I am ok with that...because I can take it or leave it and I am not leaving it...

BUT if we weren’t LD I would NOT BE ok with not seeing him daily...

SO...where is the logic? No-fucking-where...right?

So my question is...are all these people who are suffering from non LD and not seeing each other daily...would they be ok if LD?

And is LD IS healthier after all for people to learn about themselves and each other? 🤷‍♀️

I see what you mean. I mean in LDR, you don't really have the option to see each other everyday, whereas when you do, you're making a conscious decision to choose not see each other every day.

Yea, I think the space could benefit every single couple, and I think its healthy. Problems arise when you do too much of anything and I think that applies to being around people as well.

click to expand

Yes I love that and completely agree with the decisions that if you can see each other everyday and chose not too, someone like clingy me would get offended lol however as that isn't an option it works well on my conscious as it's when we can.

Posted by Sunmoonrising

Posted by nanobot

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by nanobot

Posted by Gemitati

I am wondering...if it’s so good...why people who aren’t LDR are supposed to be up each other ass all the time or else?

And trust me I would be. Like let’s do this and that and hang out every night and basically...let’s live together...🤷‍♀️

So why IF we can’t - we are still ok but if we aren’t apart - we have to fuck each other brains until one run away or people just break up because they are suffocating each other?

Well for me it's a LDR for only about 4 months out of the year at this point. So that's very manageable for us, personally. Also, the way the time zones work out, we are able to maintain almost constant contact.

Both he and I are not the type to shrivel up and die if we can't be around each other 100% of the time. He is not my oxygen. People ask me all the time "omg how do you do that, I never could be away from my bf" and I think "it's easy. How can you be around each other all the time without pissing each other off and getting sick of each other?" I need space to breathe and room to maintain being an individual person, as does he. If I feel suffocated, I begin to pick fights. If/when I move to Europe, I see myself taking solo vacations sometimes, and having my own space at home if/when we ever live together that I can go to be alone. Shit even when he's here, we are off doing our own things. That's just us

I'm not sure I understand the part of your post that I quoted above. People get comfortable and do everything together once a relationship gets "serious" because you are just naturally growing closer as the rship progresses. A lot of women lose their identities/platonic & family relationships with other people due to this, and I have done that to myself when I was younger and I hated it and never want to do it again.

I don't think people are supposed to be up each others ass all the time in a relationship. That actually sounds terrible to me. I think the opposite is actually important to maintaining anything long term. It just depends on the couple I guess, if they want to spend every possible waking moment together and that works for them 5-10-20-50 years down the line, then good for them.

In that part what I was saying is...if we weren’t LD I would be up his ass...

It’s just me. I am over the top!

However we ARE LD and I am ok with that...because I can take it or leave it and I am not leaving it...

BUT if we weren’t LD I would NOT BE ok with not seeing him daily...

SO...where is the logic? No-fucking-where...right?

So my question is...are all these people who are suffering from non LD and not seeing each other daily...would they be ok if LD?

And is LD IS healthier after all for people to learn about themselves and each other? 🤷‍♀️

I see what you mean. I mean in LDR, you don't really have the option to see each other everyday, whereas when you do, you're making a conscious decision to choose not see each other every day.

Yea, I think the space could benefit every single couple, and I think its healthy. Problems arise when you do too much of anything and I think that applies to being around people as well.

Yes I love that and completely agree with the decisions that if you can see each other everyday and chose not too, someone like clingy me would get offended lol however as that isn't an option it works well on my conscious as it's when we can.

click to expand

That! 👆...what I meant! Lol