Liars

I know a lady who use was a liar, she was like an Aunt...not a nasty liar but more one that tells you what you want to hear...all the time. Little white lies like she was going to be doing something for you that never happened. You soon learnt to not take anything she said with much hope & none of these lies ever hurt me. But nevertheless she constantly lied...

My question is:

Do you think it runs in the family, if you are around someone 24/7 and are filled with lies all your life, would you yourself grow to be just like them and not think it's a big deal to be as truthful as possible? Does anyone else know someone like this and how has it effected their children?

@ Bella

I know that there is alot about my mother that I dont want to be anything like and so I'm looking for it in myself, (to squash it) my own daughters dont want to be likened to me with specific things. Being a child that is filled with disappointment from lies, wouldn't you think that they would want nothing of it themselves?

I think ANY sort of lie even if it is to make someone feel better is wrong. You don't do anyone any favors by lying. I always seek the truth even if it hurts because then I can at least try and improve from then on.

I know a couple people off the top of my head that lie through their teeth ALL the time. I don't get it. And it's really small insignifigant stuff that they lie about. What's the point?

I think it all boils down to self image. They don't want to look like the "bad" guy or they want to look "better" then they appear to be. That's just sad when you step back and look at the bigger picture. Why not be happy with who you are or take that energy that you use to cover your ass after telling a lie to actually become the person you claim to be. Ya know?

This Virgo girl I know comes from a pretty honest hardworking family. She's the baby of the family and she lies to get attention. She lied about having cancer once, she use to lie about how much she partied (she'd make herself sound like this bad ass drinker when she wasn't) Her lying about that got her busted though. At a party they gave her non-alcholic beer and she "acted" trashed. They nailed her for that. She just lied all the damn time. Now she does it because she thinks it's funny to see if people actually believe her. Her family catches her alot but they never say anything because she gets dramatic and defensive and they don't think it's worth it to call her on her BS and rile her up. Basically she's a brat.

The Cancer guy I know didn't get alot of attention from his mother growing up. She was to into her booze and multiple boyfriends. So now he lies about being a spy for the government and a Navy SEAL (if you saw this guy you'd KNOW he's NOT either one of those). It's sad though. He uses it to make himself look more exciting and to get attention.

Yes Bella, remembering back now I know his mum lied alot. As I said it never really hurt anyone but just little fibs for whatever reason. Like one time she was coming with my husband (we were young & I was prenant with my first child) and I to Australia to visit my mother. She visited us every week and the story remained the same right up til the last week she was still booking her flight on the same as ours. On the day we flew out she showed up and said she couldn't get on that flight as she left it too late but would try and get there that week...Weird but never stopped me loving her.

Anyway I'm assessing him and whether or not he may have some of those traits.

A couple of years ago I was with a guy (FWB) but everything that came out of his mouth was a freakin lie and I NEVER EVER picked up on any of it. i loaned him money to get out of trouble and in the end he moved back home with a lie about going back because his mum was in hospital dying!!!! It all came out after the fact and although there wasn't love for me there, there was alot of hurt from me being soo stupid that I fell for everything he said. ANd looking back now I wonder why I never questioned any of it, apart from the fact that it is so far from anything I could do to anyone, I just didnt believe anyone would to me!

And now I really cant stand liars.

Aw sweethearts. I know what it's like to be so hard on yourself when it comes to those situations. I beat myself up alot when I find out people lied to me and I fell for it. I think that I'm too stupid to have caught it.

The thing is that you shouldn't have to look for someone lying to you. It's not your fault that they choose to lie. All you did was give out of the kindness of your heart. That's not stupid.

My Scorpio mom gave me the greatest advice once that has really stuck with me.

"People make take from me for all the wrong reasons but I give to them for the right reason."

I'm with you though. I hate liars. But mostly I feel pity for them which is worse then disliking them.

Thanks Ging,

I do try and keep my eyes open for things like that now. But to tell you the truth I cant really tell when someone is lying or not. My own daughter lies all the time. Shes one of those kids that doesn't like to disappoint and is going through some tough years but I cant even tell when her truths are the truth or just another cover up!!

All I do is try not to get too caught up in a situation...just in case I'm decieved. The words dont mean as much as the actions.

Posted by Prince_Pisces
So now he lies about being a spy for the government and a Navy SEAL

lmao.

Ugh! Don't get me started on that guy!! He was such a liar!! I can't believe he had the nerve to come up with the stories he did and actually think anyone would believe him. He even told me that this hot pin up chick on a calendar was his ex. Ok.... this guy was .......chubby and ....... well.....not exactly Brad Pitt. It was hard NOT to get mad at him for that stuff but he was so off the wall that I just felt sorry for him.

Sweethearts... I could tell you a story about a whooper I was told (and believed) because it came from a person I loved. He decieved the hell out of me for a very long period of time and it was so devestating not only that I didn't catch on to it but that it was so hurtful it shattered me.
I kicked myself in the ass for being so stupid for a long time but you know what? I didn't ask him to lie to me. I was trusting him because I cared about him. He KNEW that and he took advantage of that.

It sucks but it's not your fault. Trust me! I've really thought this one through.


Maybe you should have a sit down with your daughter and tell her that you realize she has a big heart and she doesn't want to hurt or disappoint anyone but the right thing to do is tell the truth. It could be just a phase also. Of she's a teen.... oh boy! I feel for you!

It feels a bit more empty to be on guard all the time. Sometime you have to take the risk and let it all go but I do agree to be a little more slow and suspicious before you take that plunge. Finding a happy medium is hard.

LOL PP. It's crazy what some people acutally think they can say and we should just believe them.

It's funny but in such a sad way. LOL

I know now that it's not my fault and that these people prey on people like us. Hard as it is to take but also that it effects me now always on the look out just in case it's another "just like me"

As for my girl idk, I've tried and tried and always talk to her about the little boy that cried wolf and to NO AVAIL! It's the people she hangs with and the life style she has chosen to live...after a while there isn't much a parent can do but be there to catch them when they fall. I try to look at it like she could be doing much much worse...

And yes Ging it's heartbreaking to find out someone you care for is taking you for an idiot! But we live and learn!

And yes PP some people are just pathetic with their lies that it's laughable, I think that's the "be impressed by me" type of liar and they dont bother me too much.

Maybe it's one of those things that she'll have to learn the hard way. 😢 I'm sure as a parent that's hard to stand by and watch but.... I know there were things I had to learn like that. And boy did I learn once I was hip deep!!

The funny thing about me is I've always been the kind of person to be suspicious and ask alot of questions before believing someone fully. This guy *shakes head*. ... he was the first I actually let myself just have faith in without all the questions. And I never dreamed that he would lie to me what he lied about. It was monsterous. I didn't think people actually did that sort of thing. I'm glad it happened because I learned from it which is what those types of lessons are for.
I'll admit to being a dumbass for believing but he was more then a bastard for lying about what he did.

Yeah I'm feeling ya there m8...that's what this is all about. Just trying to ensure I'm not going down a similar path🙂

Yes Bella you are right, life's good now but 5 years ago I almost came undone.. I put myself out there and laid it all on the line for my first and lost...So it scares me because I can see clearly that I will get too involved and even though he says we can accomplish anything, I know I'm a homebody and a keeper but he on the other hand is a Nomad...

My concern over the lying was because he mentioned that he would ask his mum if she wanted to attend my mothers 70th birthday and he would fly her over. He's bought it up twice without my influence and at this stage nothing has come from it. Birthdays in Nov...similar to his mother coming to Auss with us all those years ago...that's where I started thinking... lol

That's cool about your bro bella. As for not saying anything about it to other people.... I hear ya. But I'd have never worried about anyone accusing me of lying. If they didn't believe you then that was their problem. 😉 I'm just the type to keep that sort of thing to myself because it's nobody
s business and that would be bragging.

I'm pretty skeptical of people I admit but when common sense is used... you figure it out. There was no way that Cancer was a spy or an ex SEAL. LOL He was a farm hand that had only a high school education and was pretty over weight. Common sense told me he was a liar. Also people get extreamly defensive when you call them out. Very telling sign.

I understand it's not unheard of for people around us to have exciting lives but I'm sure PP's middle school friend didn't party with a whole Italian soccer team 🙂