- I'm thinking this should be my online journal lol, things will get very interesting I'm sure. This is my 2nd guy that I've dated with children. I don't see it as a bad thing but I do see it as a totally different experience when you are with a single guy vs a single dad.
Now, I've been involved with a guy with kids before but this time I have a feeling things will be a bit different with this new guy. With my ex (Virgo-Libra Cusp with Aries moon and Leo venus),couldn't wait for me to meet his children but I wasn't ready to meet them, it was too soon in the relationship in my opinion -- just weeks after dating, my ex wanted me to meet his children ... no effing way.
With this current guy (Leo-Virgo Cusp with Saggie moon and Cancer venus), he is very, very, very protective with his 2 daughters, like if he's not the one taking care of him, he doesn't want anyone else to do it. Wheresas my ex couldn't wait for me to meet his four darlings -- oh brother ...
This guy is a bit more cautious which I find refreshing because I think there needs to be more time taken into account before I meet the two most important people in his life.
I've gotten mixed reviews from both friends and family about dating a guy with kids. I'm not sure where my opinion is on the subject either ...
what are the pros and cons and what is it exactly do I need to look out for? - My goodness, I'm dealing with a bunch of meanies!!!!!
No one will help me ...... ~sigh~ - I wouldnt care if someone i was dating had kids. . .as long as they knew who should be spoiled more. . .me! LOL.
- Well I wouldn't really know what to say on the matter either cuz I've never been with someone who has kids, but a couple of buddies of mine in the service are single dads and they always say that they'll never introduce the woman they're seeing to their kid unless they know for sure they are susceptible to children. So majority of the time they'll never say they have kids unless the girl they were seeing were to ask.
But I would normally believe that the single guys with a kid would be more mature than a normal single guy w/out one because they have a higher responsibility to take care of not only themselves but their offspring as well. So in my mind they would know how to take care of whomever is under their wing.
Who knows sweetie maybe the single dad your considering is a real gentlemen..but what do I know..I don't even know the fellow. - Now the con of dating a single dad is that he won't fully be devoted to you, he would have to occassionally blow you off just so he can take care of his kid. If you're wanting all of his attention, in a way; you're going to have to compete with his child.
But everyone on here knows you're a responsible mature woman, so we all know that you wouldn't be so bothered if he had that kind of situation come up or anything along those lines. Plus I don't think Ms.Cappysweetie would even want to compete with a child LOL. So you're cool, it's up to you. - oh YAY
People came ^_^.
I wouldnt care if someone i was dating had kids. . .as long as they knew who should be spoiled more. . .me! LOL.
LOLOLOL!!! Prince! Posted by sagigoat
sorry sweetie i have never dated anyone with kids so cannot give you any sound advice :/
i live in an area full of more selfish professionals i guess i have never even have anyone with kids approached me in real life
See, heres the thing Sagigoat, I've only had two men in my life to ever want to date me with children, so its like hmmmm, I'm not sure whats going on here.
With my ex, I had to pry it out of him that he had children, he wouldn't tell me. If I didn't ask, he would not have told me anything.
With this current guy, the 1st time we spoke about dating, it told me within the conversation that he had children -- I didn't have to ask lol.
Maybe this is a sign that I'm getting old lol. When men with children start to want you, yep lolPosted by Smiles24
Well I wouldn't really know what to say on the matter either cuz I've never been with someone who has kids, but a couple of buddies of mine in the service are single dads and they always say that they'll never introduce the woman they're seeing to their kid unless they know for sure they are susceptible to children. So majority of the time they'll never say they have kids unless the girl they were seeing were to ask.
But I would normally believe that the single guys with a kid would be more mature than a normal single guy w/out one because they have a higher responsibility to take care of not only themselves but their offspring as well. So in my mind they would know how to take care of whomever is under their wing.
Who knows sweetie maybe the single dad your considering is a real gentlemen..but what do I know..I don't even know the fellow.
Smiles *waves*
Well, this current guy seems to still be working on his maturity level lol -- he's really shy, but can be very outspoken hahaha, he's hard to figure out -- most L-Vs are hard to muster. My ex put on a huge 'maturity' front when in reality he was stuck in the past and very use to getting his own way.Posted by Smiles24
Now the con of dating a single dad is that he won't fully be devoted to you, he would have to occassionally blow you off just so he can take care of his kid. If you're wanting all of his attention, in a way; you're going to have to compete with his child.
But everyone on here knows you're a responsible mature woman, so we all know that you wouldn't be so bothered if he had that kind of situation come up or anything along those lines. Plus I don't think Ms.Cappysweetie would even want to compete with a child LOL. So you're cool, it's up to you.
LMAO @ 'Ms.Cappysweetie would even want to compete with a child' hahahahahahaha,
Well ... I lean more towards the fact that I know I will always be 2nd, theres no choice in the matter; sure, there will always be mixed feelings there but theres no way I would be with a guy who doesn't have his children as top priority. I would dump him in a split second with he was one of those dead-beat fathers -- UGH! I turn my nose up at that.
But you are right, I'm not sure what I can do if I make plans and he breaks them and he's not sure when we can get together again. If I can't deal with the blow offs then I know I have to walk away from the relationship.
Honesty, the fact that he's such a devoted daddy is part of the attraction to him
Posted by Starfish225
Well according to Steve Harveys book its good to meet the kids rather early, bc this way you get a glimpse into who they are before you get to emotionally attached to the dad. That way if they are kids from hell you can duck out more easily..But I feel its a individual thing..Meeting a mans kids don't mean much to me, you can't form an deep attachment just meeting them..Before I start to think about how serious I will be about his kids I need to know how serious I am going to be about him..And his kids won't be calling me stepmommy after just meeting them one time..And no I don't allow men to meet my kids to soon either, but thats me and again its a individaual thing..
Hmmm, meet the kids to get glimpses into who they are? Thats a great idea!!!! Okay, I have to plan this right or else he will see what I'm trying to do.
Yes, if the kids are brats, thats it, I don't want anything to do with them. Not because I'm being mean but because they already have a mother that can and MUST put up with them. LOL, let her do it.
Although, from what I hear about the mother of the children, she is a manipulator. My first thoughts on her was, 'Oh ... one of those ...'.
He has to keep the 2 kids at night so it will be difficult for him to do anything. He works in the morning threw the afternoon so thats not cool. She can very well keep the girls at night.- Hmmm, I have another concern. What if things get really serious and I want children one say. He already has two .... then what?
Or what if I think that taking care of his children is enough for me but he wants ME to bear more kids for him ... what if I don't want to? Posted by Starfish225
Cappy all these things should be discussed perhaps through casual conversation before you get to deep into anything..See if you guys want the same things early on, thats all..
I think casual conversation is the way to do it. Especially with him, these virgos, you must trick them into telling you what you want to know LOL!!!Posted by eden 3
Posted by Smiles24
Well I wouldn't really know what to say on the matter either cuz I've never been with someone who has kids, but a couple of buddies of mine in the service are single dads and they always say that they'll never introduce the woman they're seeing to their kid unless they know for sure they are susceptible to children. So majority of the time they'll never say they have kids unless the girl they were seeing were to ask.
But I would normally believe that the single guys with a kid would be more mature than a normal single guy w/out one because they have a higher responsibility to take care of not only themselves but their offspring as well. So in my mind they would know how to take care of whomever is under their wing.
Who knows sweetie maybe the single dad your considering is a real gentlemen..but what do I know..I don't even know the fellow.
smiles very sweet !
cappy sweetheart- i think guys with kids look adorable and so manly while being daddy. i also believe what smiles has said regarding most will be more mature cuz of the experience (and a bonus he probably already changes diapers).
i say do not let someones past (we all have 'em) deter u from exploring possibilities...and i don't believe children should eva be a hindrance to dating someone.
good luck girlclick to expand
Same here eden! I don't think children should be a hindrance at all in dating someone. Its terrible that adults (usually the ex) creates trouble. If I meet those girls (if things get that serious), I hope that I can embrace them as a sort of sister stepmom is something I don't want but if I have to play that role I would, if it came down to it. But no, they already have a mother, I just want their father Posted by Starfish225
Thats why alot of relationships end up in turmoil because ppl go on chemistry and lets go with the flow but when it all folds both ppl need to be on the same page not just about what kind of relationship is is but also where they see themselves with a longterm mate in the future..You don't want to fall inlove with a man but then end up having to compromise on something that you knew you did not want or have him compromise in that same way later on..Resentment may set in later..Best to know whats up kind of early..
I agree Starfish but this guy want to just 'live in the moment' you know. I think he's afraid to give me too many details on things. His way of thinking is, "We are both into each, they why not. I like you, you like me, whats wrong?"
So yeah, I know what you mean but ...Posted by lanathegreat
sweetie,
I was with someone with a kid for 3 years. In the beginning it didn't bother me, but then when things started getting more serious it changed. Like you said what if you are going to want more children? What if he's going to love his first child that's not from you more than your child?
And then there was a baby mama drama. He was spending all his money on lawyers and would let her walk all over him.
Being with someone who has children could be done, but it's not easy. My advice is to take it slow and see how it feels and if you are having any issues. If you do, do not try to supress them like I did for so long, but leave and don't look back. Being stepmom/dad is not for everyone...
He let her walk all over him? Really? oh boy, thats no good
There was nothing you could do to help get him together? If the ex still has control, although she is an ex, is no good.
Hmm, I think this may be the case with me, like I said, he has the girls at night but she can have the girls at night too. Theres no reason why she can't have the girls at night ...
I may just have to be the 'devil' in the situation Nothing burns my butt more than when an ex wants to still control someone they aren't with anymore.
