Libra guy seems more like my roommate instead of my life partner. I need some thoughts.

Hi. I’ve posted a couple of times about my relationship. I’m a Cancer and my man is a Libra. I’m still with him because I love him even though we’re not very compatible in some areas. We’re not married but we live together.

My Libra guy has started the habit of going to sleep by himself on the couch rather than with me in bed. He does it for no apparent reason or sometimes because he gets mad over small stuff. I have never told him to go sleep in the couch, he just does it voluntarily. So only whenever he feels like it he’ll come to bed with me. I feel weird waking up with nobody by my side when he’s supposed to love me, as he says. The worst thing is that when he goes to sleep on the couch I don’t know what he might be doing. What if he’s talking to someone else during late hours and I don’t even know? 🤷‍♀️

It doesn’t make sense that he prefers our small couch where he barely fits rather than our queen size bed. It makes me feel like he doesn’t like me and I’m just his roommate. Oh but when he wants sex he sure comes to bed. I feel used and we’ve talked plenty of times about separating if he’s not happy with me but he wants to stay in this weird relationship. Maybe it’s convenient for him. But is this the way a relationship should be? Should I be okay with sleeping alone when he’s not in the mood to be with me?

I thought couples slept together. Traditionally that’s how it should be. I think only couples who can’t stand each other sleep separately.

Is that it? It could be some trivial thing.... Do you snore sometimes? Toss too much? Go to bed too early? Or too late? Talk in your sleep? Or is he doing some of these things? You sound like you are about to break up! Have you talked to him?

Not always the case...

Sometimes I'll sleep in the guest room if he has an early am start and I am up late working on deadlines. I need to catch those zzz's.

You should tell him how it makes you feel.

Your Libra had emotionally checked out, Libras usually hold on too long, even when they don't feel they truly want to be with you anymore. It's comfortable, but trust me that man is not investing emotionally at this time in your relationship.

I'm sorry to say he is definitely checking out. When we are in love we want to be near you and wake up to you. You say that you guys have talked plenty about if he's not happy then separate but he doesn't want to - what about you? You aren't happy so why leave it up to him to separate? Just do it if he isn't meeting your needs.

Posted by LuxePurr

If he sleeps on y'alls bed, would that fix the problem? It sounds so trivial to me. He sounds like he got comfortable or bored.

Also, as a Libra who lived with a Cancer man there was a time in the relationship where I slept on a cushion on the floor and left the bed all to himself. Why? Because I didn't know about his bedwetting problem until we lived together. And I couldn't stand his breath and drool.

Anyway maybe just tell him how this is bothering you?

Wait..... By bedwetting you mean his breath and drool? Or was there actual bed wetting too—

Or maybe he is doing you a favour? Here is what you wrote a few months ago: “lately I feel like I have signs of being claustrophobic, to the point that I can’t sleep with my partners being too close or hugging me as if I can’t escape. I have to tell my partners that I need space when I sleep and they usually feel offended. “

Posted by Undine

Or maybe he is doing you a favour? Here is what you wrote a few months ago: “lately I feel like I have signs of being claustrophobic, to the point that I can’t sleep with my partners being too close or hugging me as if I can’t escape. I have to tell my partners that I need space when I sleep and they usually feel offended. “

Oh damn

Posted by CoffeeAndCream

As a cancer sun leo moon i could never see me with a libra

but congratulations ....

Lol shit!

Posted by Undine

Or maybe he is doing you a favour? Here is what you wrote a few months ago: “lately I feel like I have signs of being claustrophobic, to the point that I can’t sleep with my partners being too close or hugging me as if I can’t escape. I have to tell my partners that I need space when I sleep and they usually feel offended. “

Well well well...

What is his moon, mars and venus sign?

Posted by Undine

Or maybe he is doing you a favour? Here is what you wrote a few months ago: “lately I feel like I have signs of being claustrophobic, to the point that I can’t sleep with my partners being too close or hugging me as if I can’t escape. I have to tell my partners that I need space when I sleep and they usually feel offended. “

Oh well you’ve told him. Then 💁🏻

Posted by LuxePurr

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by LuxePurr

If he sleeps on y'alls bed, would that fix the problem? It sounds so trivial to me. He sounds like he got comfortable or bored.

Also, as a Libra who lived with a Cancer man there was a time in the relationship where I slept on a cushion on the floor and left the bed all to himself. Why? Because I didn't know about his bedwetting problem until we lived together. And I couldn't stand his breath and drool.

Anyway maybe just tell him how this is bothering you?

Wait..... By bedwetting you mean his breath and drool? Or was there actual bed wetting too—

Actual bed wetting. So when we had a son, it felt like I had 2 babies instead of just one. I had to remind his ass to pee before bed every damn day. Glad I'm out. His wife can deal with the now for the rest of their lives.

click to expand

dude that's weird as hell for a grown man.... what was the issue? did you know about it during the talking stage? Why did it feel like 2 babies - did he not take care of it himself?

I'm sorry if i'm asking too many invasive questions but i'm curious as hell... ive never heard about this issue for a grown man.

Posted by Undine

Or maybe he is doing you a favour? Here is what you wrote a few months ago: “lately I feel like I have signs of being claustrophobic, to the point that I can’t sleep with my partners being too close or hugging me as if I can’t escape. I have to tell my partners that I need space when I sleep and they usually feel offended. “

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!

Posted by CoffeeAndCream

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by Undine

Or maybe he is doing you a favour? Here is what you wrote a few months ago: “lately I feel like I have signs of being claustrophobic, to the point that I can’t sleep with my partners being too close or hugging me as if I can’t escape. I have to tell my partners that I need space when I sleep and they usually feel offended. “

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!

I'm the same way, i hate the heat

click to expand

dude i meant the fact that she was the one who told him she needs space to sleep but now is complaining that he sleeps on the couch..... i dont get it...

It could be your bed sucks and he would rather sleep on the couch lol. I'm serious here, if it's not a comfortable bed that shit would mentally drive a libra nuts.

Posted by CoffeeAndCream

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by CoffeeAndCream

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by Undine

Or maybe he is doing you a favour? Here is what you wrote a few months ago: “lately I feel like I have signs of being claustrophobic, to the point that I can’t sleep with my partners being too close or hugging me as if I can’t escape. I have to tell my partners that I need space when I sleep and they usually feel offended. “

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!

I'm the same way, i hate the heat

dude i meant the fact that she was the one who told him she needs space to sleep but now is complaining that he sleeps on the couch..... i dont get it...

Okay I'll help you understand- leo moon and her leo rising is seeking out problems in the relationship and not being fully satisfied with a partner not being up their ass

she wants space, but only on her terms - also probably has dealt with issues of cheating in the past - so there is mistrust there- and worry he's not up to any good sleeping on the couch

its' all about trust in the end

click to expand

gotcha... whoa that was a lot for someone to get on their own... but then again i'm pretty clueless with relationship stuff unless it is spelled out..

hopefully your summary helps her then....

Posted by LuxePurr

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by LuxePurr

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by LuxePurr

If he sleeps on y'alls bed, would that fix the problem? It sounds so trivial to me. He sounds like he got comfortable or bored.

Also, as a Libra who lived with a Cancer man there was a time in the relationship where I slept on a cushion on the floor and left the bed all to himself. Why? Because I didn't know about his bedwetting problem until we lived together. And I couldn't stand his breath and drool.

Anyway maybe just tell him how this is bothering you?

Wait..... By bedwetting you mean his breath and drool? Or was there actual bed wetting too—

Actual bed wetting. So when we had a son, it felt like I had 2 babies instead of just one. I had to remind his ass to pee before bed every damn day. Glad I'm out. His wife can deal with the now for the rest of their lives.

dude that's weird as hell for a grown man.... what was the issue? did you know about it during the talking stage? Why did it feel like 2 babies - did he not take care of it himself?

I'm sorry if i'm asking too many invasive questions but i'm curious as hell... ive never heard about this issue for a grown man.

He was my high school sweetheart and he kept it a secret from me. When I got preggo, we lived together and that's when I found out about his bad hygeine like not changing his toothbrush for months or him not scrubbing enough.. I had no idea about the bedwetting so when it happened the first time it freaked me out and his mom ever so casually mentioned how I should remind him to pee before sleep. I mean wouldn't you feel like a mom to a grown ass man after all that?

He also walked around like I'm his mom who would pick up after him. One sock would be downstairs and the other would be in the bathroom. My Libra sun paired with Virgo placements couldn't stand it. That's why the Cancer and I fought day in and day out. I hate that shit and you expect me to give you bj when I know you've got sweaty balls? Fuck that.

Also, brush your damn teeth every after meal.

I also noticed the same thing with my sister's husband who is also a Cancer hence I run when from crab men. I'm sure there are good ones out there but seriously, they freak the hell out of me.

Edit: I forgot, he has mommy issues and I asked my sister who's in the medical field what was up with the bed wetting and she said it's a development issue. He skipped that when he was a toddler etc. Idk.

click to expand

girl...i'm so sorry you had to go through that... that's fuckiing a lot!!!!!!!!! and would be a turn off to any grown ass woman who knows how to take care of herself and household.

the brush your teeth after every meal is a bit extreme - I think twice a day is good hygiene - but everything else you mentioned is just a nightmare.

Did he not care that he had to wake up to his own fucking piss?!?! Meaning why would YOU need to remind him when he could put an alarm or a sticky note...or see a doctor...or see a fuckin therapist... like laaawddd that's not normal to live like that!!!! Why was he not bothered by that?

What were his mommy issues? What's your sister's husband like (also Cancer you said)? What's the rest of his chart btw?

Posted by LuxePurr

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by LuxePurr

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by LuxePurr

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by LuxePurr

If he sleeps on y'alls bed, would that fix the problem? It sounds so trivial to me. He sounds like he got comfortable or bored.

Also, as a Libra who lived with a Cancer man there was a time in the relationship where I slept on a cushion on the floor and left the bed all to himself. Why? Because I didn't know about his bedwetting problem until we lived together. And I couldn't stand his breath and drool.

Anyway maybe just tell him how this is bothering you?

Wait..... By bedwetting you mean his breath and drool? Or was there actual bed wetting too—

Actual bed wetting. So when we had a son, it felt like I had 2 babies instead of just one. I had to remind his ass to pee before bed every damn day. Glad I'm out. His wife can deal with the now for the rest of their lives.

dude that's weird as hell for a grown man.... what was the issue? did you know about it during the talking stage? Why did it feel like 2 babies - did he not take care of it himself?

I'm sorry if i'm asking too many invasive questions but i'm curious as hell... ive never heard about this issue for a grown man.

He was my high school sweetheart and he kept it a secret from me. When I got preggo, we lived together and that's when I found out about his bad hygeine like not changing his toothbrush for months or him not scrubbing enough.. I had no idea about the bedwetting so when it happened the first time it freaked me out and his mom ever so casually mentioned how I should remind him to pee before sleep. I mean wouldn't you feel like a mom to a grown ass man after all that?

He also walked around like I'm his mom who would pick up after him. One sock would be downstairs and the other would be in the bathroom. My Libra sun paired with Virgo placements couldn't stand it. That's why the Cancer and I fought day in and day out. I hate that shit and you expect me to give you bj when I know you've got sweaty balls? Fuck that.

Also, brush your damn teeth every after meal.

I also noticed the same thing with my sister's husband who is also a Cancer hence I run when from crab men. I'm sure there are good ones out there but seriously, they freak the hell out of me.

Edit: I forgot, he has mommy issues and I asked my sister who's in the medical field what was up with the bed wetting and she said it's a development issue. He skipped that when he was a toddler etc. Idk.

girl...i'm so sorry you had to go through that... that's fuckiing a lot!!!!!!!!! and would be a turn off to any grown ass woman who knows how to take care of herself and household.

the brush your teeth after every meal is a bit extreme - I think twice a day is good hygiene - but everything else you mentioned is just a nightmare.

Did he not care that he had to wake up to his own fucking piss?!?! Meaning why would YOU need to remind him when he could put an alarm or a sticky note...or see a doctor...or see a fuckin therapist... like laaawddd that's not normal to live like that!!!! Why was he not bothered by that?

What were his mommy issues? What's your sister's husband like (also Cancer you said)? What's the rest of his chart btw?

I think it's in our culture to brush our teeth every after meal. I see people rushing to the bathroom and hogging the sinks to brush after breakfast, lunch or dinner. Even when I was in school and even now that I'm working. I see it all the time.

His mom favors the middle child, their only girl who is a Pisces. I mean she's a good kid and was really smart, an achiever in school whereas the Cancer was all emo. He failed in school, started smoking at 13, talked back to his parents and even stole his mom's jewelry to buy weed. All out crabby emo.

My sister's husband is okay but I saw the bad hygeine too and the bad temper, same as my ex. No idea about their charts, I've never cared enough to run them lol. My ex was violent, one time I saw he was about to punch me so I grabbed the nearest thing I could which was a heavy duty pair of scissors. Told him if he lays a finger on me I will stab him and leave him to die. 😂

My Taurus moon temper can be too much as well, I know.

click to expand

Haha gotcha. So why was he not bothered that he had a bed wetting issue ??

I think Cancers can be slobs tbh.... But I'm lucky w the one I'm dating now bc I can tell he's a neat freak and he constantly complains about his sister not cleaning. His room is alwaaaaays clean and neat.... He himself is scrubbed up and cares about how he comes off like smelling good and clean shaven. Thank God.. after hearing all of this smh! When we got food to eat in bed he put out towels so it doesn't dirty anything.

My virgo ex is also suuuuper hygienic... Taking multiple showers on hot days etc. Virgo is not that neat like everything needs to be put away but he is about being clean. I like to put everything in its place... Cancer seems that way too so far. Well see....

You've just given me a lot to think about such as living together before committing. Before moving in together, did you spend much time at his house to see how he lives?

Posted by CoffeeAndCream

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by LuxePurr

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by LuxePurr

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by LuxePurr

If he sleeps on y'alls bed, would that fix the problem? It sounds so trivial to me. He sounds like he got comfortable or bored.

Also, as a Libra who lived with a Cancer man there was a time in the relationship where I slept on a cushion on the floor and left the bed all to himself. Why? Because I didn't know about his bedwetting problem until we lived together. And I couldn't stand his breath and drool.

Anyway maybe just tell him how this is bothering you?

Wait..... By bedwetting you mean his breath and drool? Or was there actual bed wetting too—

Actual bed wetting. So when we had a son, it felt like I had 2 babies instead of just one. I had to remind his ass to pee before bed every damn day. Glad I'm out. His wife can deal with the now for the rest of their lives.

dude that's weird as hell for a grown man.... what was the issue? did you know about it during the talking stage? Why did it feel like 2 babies - did he not take care of it himself?

I'm sorry if i'm asking too many invasive questions but i'm curious as hell... ive never heard about this issue for a grown man.

He was my high school sweetheart and he kept it a secret from me. When I got preggo, we lived together and that's when I found out about his bad hygeine like not changing his toothbrush for months or him not scrubbing enough.. I had no idea about the bedwetting so when it happened the first time it freaked me out and his mom ever so casually mentioned how I should remind him to pee before sleep. I mean wouldn't you feel like a mom to a grown ass man after all that?

He also walked around like I'm his mom who would pick up after him. One sock would be downstairs and the other would be in the bathroom. My Libra sun paired with Virgo placements couldn't stand it. That's why the Cancer and I fought day in and day out. I hate that shit and you expect me to give you bj when I know you've got sweaty balls? Fuck that.

Also, brush your damn teeth every after meal.

I also noticed the same thing with my sister's husband who is also a Cancer hence I run when from crab men. I'm sure there are good ones out there but seriously, they freak the hell out of me.

Edit: I forgot, he has mommy issues and I asked my sister who's in the medical field what was up with the bed wetting and she said it's a development issue. He skipped that when he was a toddler etc. Idk.

girl...i'm so sorry you had to go through that... that's fuckiing a lot!!!!!!!!! and would be a turn off to any grown ass woman who knows how to take care of herself and household.

the brush your teeth after every meal is a bit extreme - I think twice a day is good hygiene - but everything else you mentioned is just a nightmare.

Did he not care that he had to wake up to his own fucking piss?!?! Meaning why would YOU need to remind him when he could put an alarm or a sticky note...or see a doctor...or see a fuckin therapist... like laaawddd that's not normal to live like that!!!! Why was he not bothered by that?

What were his mommy issues? What's your sister's husband like (also Cancer you said)? What's the rest of his chart btw?

i am laughing so hard!

i knew as soon as she said he was a cancer you'd freak out

cancers are neat freaks generally unless they got a leo moon (lol) , im a slob, but most crabs i know like their stuff looking nice all the time

click to expand

Truuuuust me lmaoooo 😳😳😳🤣🤣🤣

Posted by LuxePurr

Posted by CoffeeAndCream

Posted by LuxePurr

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by LuxePurr

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by LuxePurr

If he sleeps on y'alls bed, would that fix the problem? It sounds so trivial to me. He sounds like he got comfortable or bored.

Also, as a Libra who lived with a Cancer man there was a time in the relationship where I slept on a cushion on the floor and left the bed all to himself. Why? Because I didn't know about his bedwetting problem until we lived together. And I couldn't stand his breath and drool.

Anyway maybe just tell him how this is bothering you?

Wait..... By bedwetting you mean his breath and drool? Or was there actual bed wetting too—

Actual bed wetting. So when we had a son, it felt like I had 2 babies instead of just one. I had to remind his ass to pee before bed every damn day. Glad I'm out. His wife can deal with the now for the rest of their lives.

dude that's weird as hell for a grown man.... what was the issue? did you know about it during the talking stage? Why did it feel like 2 babies - did he not take care of it himself?

I'm sorry if i'm asking too many invasive questions but i'm curious as hell... ive never heard about this issue for a grown man.

He was my high school sweetheart and he kept it a secret from me. When I got preggo, we lived together and that's when I found out about his bad hygeine like not changing his toothbrush for months or him not scrubbing enough.. I had no idea about the bedwetting so when it happened the first time it freaked me out and his mom ever so casually mentioned how I should remind him to pee before sleep. I mean wouldn't you feel like a mom to a grown ass man after all that?

He also walked around like I'm his mom who would pick up after him. One sock would be downstairs and the other would be in the bathroom. My Libra sun paired with Virgo placements couldn't stand it. That's why the Cancer and I fought day in and day out. I hate that shit and you expect me to give you bj when I know you've got sweaty balls? Fuck that.

Also, brush your damn teeth every after meal.

I also noticed the same thing with my sister's husband who is also a Cancer hence I run when from crab men. I'm sure there are good ones out there but seriously, they freak the hell out of me.

Edit: I forgot, he has mommy issues and I asked my sister who's in the medical field what was up with the bed wetting and she said it's a development issue. He skipped that when he was a toddler etc. Idk.

you sound like a control freak with the whole brush your teeth after every meal

i know thats your virgo bits, but i need to point that out

That's how I was raised. You brush your teeth every after meal for good hygeine and I think the same goes for other Filipinos. I see people rushing to the bathroom after breakfast, lunch or dinner to brush their teeth. This was when I was in school and even now at work. You see students and employees flocking to the bathrooms and hogging the sinks.

click to expand

Yeah girl it's not like that here. Twice is good enough. Over cleaning is actually not technically nhealthy and clean because our bodies work with a lot of natural bacteria that actually fight against infections. Over self-grooming kills those good bacteria too. I'm actually reading a rreeeeally interesting book about what is actually clean and the whole soap/daily shower/daily soap industry....

I think the bigger problem is that there's no communication between you two. If you don't know why he sleeps on the couch then I can only assume your relationship isn't the best. As some already mentioned I think he's probably already checked out.

I've slept in the guest room sometimes but it was because I'm extremely sensitive to noise and my ex drove me nuts with his snoring.