Love at first sight

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erica2014
@erica2014
14 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1 · Topics: 1
I'm really into this guy, and he makes me feel good about myself. Always making me laugh, doing nice things for me, like giving me a ride home from school, giving me a massage, and etc. I couldn't ever get him off my mind. I don't know what it was about him, but he made me feel special. We use to talk for about 6-10 hours a day. He would always say sweet things to me.. well sometimes, ha. I mostly did that. And I was really sure he did like me, but when I saw him, I knew it was love at first sight. To me, what love at first sight is, someone you don't really know, but they seem perfect for you in every way.
But now, I'm no so sure what to do. I had one of my friends ask him if he was into me at all, and he said he didn't see anything happening between me and him. That broke my heart when he said that. Because you would think if he wasn't into me then he wouldn't do all those nice things for me, or even talk to me that long. But my friend had a good point, he said he couldn't do it right now, but he never said he couldn't do it at all. Maybe he just doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. I don't want to push him away, I just need to be his friend, and just see where it leads. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though, 'cause believe me, it sure does. Because you have a guy that you really like, but seems like every time you look at them it's like you can't ever have 'em. All I can do, is think positive, and hope for the best.
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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
Well don't be naive. If someone says they're not ready right now, you're right in that that doesn't mean they won't ever be ready. Oh they might be ready some time in the future. BUT when a person says they're not ready right now, that's NOT code for keep giving as you've been giving. Don't "wish" or "hope" SO much that you end up giving more than you can afford to give, persay he actually never gets ready any time soon.

You'd be surprised. Some people will spend every moment with you, cuddle with you, spoil you with gifts/affection, say sweet nothings in your ear, introduce you to their family/friends & yet NOT like you a lick!

Since you guys already talk so much, maybe it's time to finally have that "talk." Don't have 3rd parties asking him about how he feels on issues concerning you. Let HIM tell you how he feels. You need to be the one asking the questions & trying to figure out what his intentions are. If others ask him 1. He may not be as truthful with them b/c he may not want everybody in his business & 2. They may not repeat what he said to them in the same exact way he said them. Don't rely on others to communicate to you how someone else feels b/c 9 times out of 10, they'll always get it wrong & sometimes even forgetting to mention/say certain words can make all the difference.

It may not even be that he isn't into you. It just may be that he's NOT yet sure of how he really feels about. Understand that everyone's pace is different. And with some people, it's either all or nothing; with some people they won't allow themselves to be ready for a relationship UNLESS they're very very VERY into the other person. They may act as if relationships aren't for them, but NO really they just aren't sure yet if YOU'RE right for them.

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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
So don't freak out just yet.

Let HIM personally tell you what his intentions are. And hey, if you're lucky, he may even explain or clarify why he's not ready (His answer will either make you feel better OR worse).

Since you guys spend 6-10 hours a day talking, atleast the opportunity for "the talk" is there. You guys probably already talk about everything else, so BEFORE you invest another second into this guy, ask all the right questions AND make sure you both want the same things & that you're both on the same page. Once you get to the level where you think you're about to start falling for someone, THIS is the time to start listening & to get your heads out of the clouds. Hell, it's only your heart at stake here!

This is usually the moment when most women mess up. There's signals all around them that the man is NOT ready but yet they keep on giving & keep on investing all their time into "wishful thinking" instead of the person he actually is. If he's NOT ready, don't believe that doing everything right will somehow make him ready. 9 times out of 10, his reasons for not being ready have NOTHING to do with you. So don't make this about you and/or don't give him a reason to actually make YOU 1 of the reasons he's not ready.

If you can handle it to keep being his platonic friend w/o expecting commitment in return, go for it. But you know you. If you can't handle it, then slow things down a bit so that you won't get hurt. Remember, guys can always say, "I told you so" after they're corned & questioned on why they kept doing all those nice/sweet things if they weren't really even ready for commitment. So make sure you can handle his answers before you ask him the right questions.