iloveyou
@iloveyou
14 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 15 · Topics: 2
MEN?
Well, it's NO secret that some men will absolutely buy you a house/car, spend alot of time with you, tell you they love you, introduce you to their friends/family, sex you, spend all night with you, etc. & yet NOT give a flying shxt about you!
Those types of men will absolutely do what it takes to get the "benefits" & if anything, they understand the value of patience. Some men will wait all year just to get sex from you even if they're intent was to use you or take advantage.
And I can understand why some women get confused when they meet these types of guys; it's b/c in society, we're all taught that someone won't go above and beyond or out of their way for you UNLESS you really mean something to them. Welp, men who have ill intentions use this & feed off of this; they're counting on women to believe this, thus only to fall for their bull.
HOWEVER, not all men who "take it slow" are doing so b/c they're trying to play games with you, manipulate you or run from the aspect of commitment.
Some men actually do really like you & really DO see you as someone they can settle down with, BUT b/c they don't want to be selfish or ruin something before it even gets started, they'll do BOTH you & themselves a favor & not enter into a commitment UNTIL (and not a second before) they clear out all trust problems & insecurities within themselves
Women can be so finicky. Which 1 is it? Do you want a commitment with a guy who has a ton of baggage that might end up ruining things, just for the sake of being taken or being "in love" OR are you OK with not having a commitment until BOTH of you are ready, even if that means being single for 6 months longer than you planned/wanted to?
If this guy has trust/insecurities issues, TRUST ME, you DON'T want to be in a relationship with him until those issues are cleared up. You should want to be with someone who is emotionally secure and/or ready for what you want. Doesn't mean you have to stop liking them or talking to them, BUT if someone can't give you the title, it's probably b/c they don't want to run the risk of their inner baggage ruining things once the relationship gets started!
Yes, getting the title is important, BUT having a relationship that actually LASTS is MORE important.
Those types of men will absolutely do what it takes to get the "benefits" & if anything, they understand the value of patience. Some men will wait all year just to get sex from you even if they're intent was to use you or take advantage.
And I can understand why some women get confused when they meet these types of guys; it's b/c in society, we're all taught that someone won't go above and beyond or out of their way for you UNLESS you really mean something to them. Welp, men who have ill intentions use this & feed off of this; they're counting on women to believe this, thus only to fall for their bull.
HOWEVER, not all men who "take it slow" are doing so b/c they're trying to play games with you, manipulate you or run from the aspect of commitment.
Some men actually do really like you & really DO see you as someone they can settle down with, BUT b/c they don't want to be selfish or ruin something before it even gets started, they'll do BOTH you & themselves a favor & not enter into a commitment UNTIL (and not a second before) they clear out all trust problems & insecurities within themselves
Women can be so finicky. Which 1 is it? Do you want a commitment with a guy who has a ton of baggage that might end up ruining things, just for the sake of being taken or being "in love" OR are you OK with not having a commitment until BOTH of you are ready, even if that means being single for 6 months longer than you planned/wanted to?
If this guy has trust/insecurities issues, TRUST ME, you DON'T want to be in a relationship with him until those issues are cleared up. You should want to be with someone who is emotionally secure and/or ready for what you want. Doesn't mean you have to stop liking them or talking to them, BUT if someone can't give you the title, it's probably b/c they don't want to run the risk of their inner baggage ruining things once the relationship gets started!
Yes, getting the title is important, BUT having a relationship that actually LASTS is MORE important.
I think you shouldn't make it a big deal if he's treating you well. A title really doesn't mean much in that respect. I know a woman who's husband works, bought her a beautiful house, gorgeous engagement ring and wedding band, and cheats on her like crazy? What is her title doing for her? I agree with the posts above, in the respect that he may have issues. I think it how's integrity to not lure you into something he knows in his heart he isn't ready to do. Give him time.
In a while, if it bothers you that much and becomes a sore spot, talk to him honestly. Ask him how he feels. Listen.
Honestly, I don't think too much should be read into it right now.
In a while, if it bothers you that much and becomes a sore spot, talk to him honestly. Ask him how he feels. Listen.
Honestly, I don't think too much should be read into it right now.
@Ever: Overly complex? How so? None of us really know exactly what's going on nor do any of us know the poster or the guy she's referring to. So we don't have a choice but to kind of guess what's going on & give her different pieces of advice, hoping that maybe 1 will fit her exact situation.
I told the gal not to be so quick to rush to be with someone who isn't in a rush to be with her. How is that complex? I think that's pretty much universal advice! I'm not saying that she should dump the guy or flip out, BUT that his actions might suggest 2 things: 1. He's either taking advantage of her to get all the benefits like she said (after all, women that do get taken advantage of usually have the same kind of story) OR 2. This guy isn't selfish enough to offer something that requires 100% of him if he can really only give 50%
I told the gal not to be so quick to rush to be with someone who isn't in a rush to be with her. How is that complex? I think that's pretty much universal advice! I'm not saying that she should dump the guy or flip out, BUT that his actions might suggest 2 things: 1. He's either taking advantage of her to get all the benefits like she said (after all, women that do get taken advantage of usually have the same kind of story) OR 2. This guy isn't selfish enough to offer something that requires 100% of him if he can really only give 50%
Posted by iloveyou
Men are any of you like this and if so why??
he calls texts everyday says he loves me opens up and tells me his problems says he will do anything for me yet?? we are lovers and not boyfriend and girlfriend.
You know, men aren't stupid .. and that's the first thing a women needs to get in her brain.
The second thing a woman needs to get in your brain is that men want to get laid and will use whatever is at their disposal to get your panties off.
Third .. a guy wants to be the only one dipping
Now, take those three ^^^^ and connect them all to understand #4 = the aim is to keep your panties around your ankles for only him = a man will tell you he loves you, he will keep you believing whatever it is you need to hear to make provision for him having accessibility to your kitty, and nobody else.
He does NOT respect you .... that is a lie you tell yourself so you won't let yourself feel bad about dropping your knickers.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by iloveyou
Men are any of you like this and if so why??
he calls texts everyday says he loves me opens up and tells me his problems says he will do anything for me yet?? we are lovers and not boyfriend and girlfriend.
You know, men aren't stupid .. and that's the first thing a women needs to get in her brain.
The second thing a woman needs to get in your brain is that men want to get laid and will use whatever is at their disposal to get your panties off.
Third .. a guy wants to be the only one dipping
Now, take those three ^^^^ and connect them all to understand #4 = the aim is to keep your panties around your ankles for only him = a man will tell you he loves you, he will keep you believing whatever it is you need to hear to make provision for him having accessibility to your kitty, and nobody else.
He does NOT respect you .... that is a lie you tell yourself so you won't let yourself feel bad about dropping your knickers.
click to expand
sooo true.
Posted by everevolvingepithet
I think you over egged the pud in those last two paragraphs krys, but the rest makes some sense.
I think most men are wary and cautious these days as women have become quite bitter and clever these days, moreso when there's a coven present (not directed at anyone in this thread, the 'Narcissist' thread is a good example of it 🙂).
Maybe he seems to be giving less back if you haven't given him much to go off from your side of things when it comes to preferences etc. Also some don't want to feel like a burden or they're over doing it (again, related to a 'come close...no no!! scritchy scratch!! attitude some women have these days, something I think relates to their own baggage, not the guy krys 😛).
I wouldn't pay attention to anyone who posts overly complex answers to your predicament either, iloveyou, as that's probably related to that lovely word 'baggage'.
🙂
lol, you just called an aqua overly complex?
connecting dots
Posted by iloveyou
Men are any of you like this and if so why??
he calls texts everyday says he loves me opens up and tells me his problems says he will do anything for me yet?? we are lovers and not boyfriend and girlfriend.
He is very slow in everything he does i know he has trust issues .. but is it really all about pleasing him is this just an easy way for men to get what they want without the down side of a proper realtionship?
He does respect me we get on great he trys to make me happy.. but i do wonder about the whole him likeing us the way we are?? shall i be patient? move on or ask him in another couple of months about taking the next step.....
He sounds like he is married...
thanks guys. i have to agree on most of what iv read. i suppose i feel abit pressured from friends and family that are in relationships.. and yes some unhappy relationships. my man once said he didnt like labels!!
and why is it always one way with the men disrespecting the women.. women can have fun too and to be honest im enjoying every minute of being with him..
but yes i will ask because if you dont ask you dont get..hoping i wont here anything shocking 🙂
and why is it always one way with the men disrespecting the women.. women can have fun too and to be honest im enjoying every minute of being with him..
but yes i will ask because if you dont ask you dont get..hoping i wont here anything shocking 🙂
Posted by Mebs
I know a woman who's husband works, bought her a beautiful house, gorgeous engagement ring and wedding band, and cheats on her like crazy? What is her title doing for her?
Yep. It seems it is all about the title.
As long as you have the title it is ok for your husband to screw whomever he wants and still come home to a hot dinner and loving wife.
If you haven't got the title you got nothing.
meaning that the title is everything - it means you "have someone" - you are "paired up" and not some loser that no one wants
Posted by iloveyou
my man once said he didnt like labels!!
)
Well being in a relationship with the woman he loves is not something he should consider a "label" as if it were some sort of bad thing or burden.
Men who don't want to be committed are usually the only 1s that hate anything with a label attached to it. When a man is ready, he'll be happy to know/hear that his name is attached to a commitment that involves the woman he truly loves & cherishes. That is the difference. Commitment should come natural to 2 people who truly love eachother & want to grow. If he's hesitating about the title, it's b/c he's hesitating about growing into something with you. His actuals reasons for why he's hesistating may differ, BUT all that matters is that hesitation is NOT good, especially if you've put in alot of work & have played all your cards right
All men have bad intentions😛
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He is very slow in everything he does i know he has trust issues .. but is it really all about pleasing him is this just an easy way for men to get what they want without the down side of a proper realtionship?
He does respect me we get on great he trys to make me happy.. but i do wonder about the whole him likeing us the way we are?? shall i be patient? move on or ask him in another couple of months about taking the next step.....