Men are like Rubber Bands

"Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle. This cycle involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again.

Most women are surprised to realize that even when a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away. It is not a decision or choice. It just happens. It is neither his fault, or her fault. It's just a natural cycle.

Women misinterpret a a man's pulling away because generally a woman pulls away for different reasons.... men pull away even when the woman has done nothing wrong. He may love and trust her, and then suddenly he begins to pull away. Like a stretched rubber band, he will stretch himself and then come back all on his own. A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independance or autonomy. When he has fully stretched away, then instantly he will come springing back. When he has fully separated, then suddenly he will feel his need for intimacy again. Automatically, he will be more motivated to give his love and receive the love he needs. When a man springs back, he picks up the relationship at whatever degree of intimacy it was when he stretched away. He doesn't feel any need for a period of getting reacquainted again.

If a man does not have the opportunity to pull away, he never a chance to feel his strong desire to be close. It is essential for women to understand that if they insist on continuous intimacy, or 'run after' their intimate male partner when he pulls away, then he will almost always be trying to escape and distance himself; he will never get a chance to feel his passionate longing for love.

This rubber band analogy explains how a man may care very much about his partner but suddenly pull away. When he pulls away its not because he doesn't want to talk . Instead, he needs some time alone. It is a time for him to take care of himself. When he returns, he is available to talk."

I came across this when I was reading 'Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus' and thought that the ladies on this board will find it reassuring. I think this explains the disppearance of cappy men to some extent, alhough I would say their rubber bands are longer because they tend to be more insecure and require more 'personal space' than other men. What do you'll think—

That is helpful for alot of us on here, Leo-girl, and should be for your situation too. Yea, yea, Branh, you speak of "ideal circumstances" w/ an emotionally healthy and emotionally available male (i.e., a high E.Q.) but some of us on this board are obviously not dealing w/ that. It's what you are willing to accept and try to understand.

SB are checking a cap guy?

Lol @ capinlovewithleo..gosh thats a mouthful!..

The caveman philosophy which Branh is spewing is not his own... It's typical anti-female mentality which I hear coming from alot of men on another site. These men have been burned by women or cannot find a woman for a longterm relationship so they've decided to attack and separate themselves further from our "species."

Who is the branh guy? Are you bitter? I seem to think so. It's obvious that you have been burned my friend and you want us to beleive your philosophy. Maybe some of it's true to a degree. But we are dealing with Cap men they ain't easy to deal with bud and for some of us who have a true gift of discernment, you GOT ISSUES! BIGTIME!

Women are the reason why YOU are here on this earth and on this website talking trash! Shall I pull out my Bible and break it down to you?

Not to side with Branh but I have always thought eye for an eye....when has negotiating ever got anybody anywhere?..corrupt politicians, corrupt governments..don't get me started..but Branh there is a way of communicating your thoughts without the need to butcher anyone that differs from your opinion..

Yeah you do have valid points..can I call you CGWL..because writing your nickname thingy is a nightmare..lol..But honestly, its those negotiations whilst sipping cocktails that lead the countries into war in the first place..if only they talked when sober!..

"...A real man will never keep you guessing either."
"...A real man in his earnest form is more satisfying than games and guesswork."

Gotta say, I agree, and I have one.

I think people who believe an "eye for an eye" have no God, religion or spirituality about them at all. Finish the statment people "An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth, vengence is mind said the LORD" Also, a man is a man and a woman is a woman and that line should never be crossed.

SB: Oh you WAS..oh dear..

With regards to war, drop all the guns, drop all the artillery, machinery whatever..got to war like the REAL men did back in the days..Lets see who the tough party is then...Thats what I call a fair war...blowing smaller/inferior/poorer countries to smithereens by machinery is not a show of strength but cowardice..

IMHO, war is about acquiring territory. The more you have, the more you have authority over. Your can enforce your influence on it. Your influence entitles you to authorize your "constitution" (beliefs, influence, laws, etc.) as you please. Wars result from one party wanting over authority over territory that "belongs" to another. Whoever wins the war, has the authority. The more territory, the more authority. In a very savage sense, i.e., Ghengis Khan, Alexander the Great, Hitler, etc. They were after territory so they could rule the world.

Ladies!

Wouldn't you know it I had to rip my Cap a new *sshole this morning! It was nasty. I told him that I wanted to go to a concert about a month ago, well he texted me this morning to say that he was too tired and was giving the tix to a relative. First of all, I didnt know he had the tix. The concert is tonight. Why would he tell me at the very last minute he was giving the tix away—? He never even asked me if I wanted to go, BUT I'm the one who mentioned going to the concert!!! What the heck?

Had he not opened his big mouth, I would never had known and would have forgotten all about it. SO I told him that he was being a jerk and an *asshole! I also told him to go to *ell!! I'm sick of the disappearing acts AND then you insult my intellegence by thinking I'm stupid. I told him I knew he would do this and bought my own ticket!!!

Well at this point I know he's pissed! I DON"T CARE!! That was wrong considering I bough ttix to see artists that he likes. We are supposed to go to SoBe in May. It ain;t happenin'!! I don't like wishy-washy people!

Ok, I was venting but tell me am I justified here? I'm still trying to figure out why he even told me in the first place

Someone mentioned the Bible, and as it is written, mankind was created to dominate
the earth for good, not evil. So even though the motives of mankind have been perverted, the assignment stills stands...thus, wars will continue.

Brahn,

Be like the wind and blow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm don't know you and don't want to but you are getting on my LAST NERVES. What are you talking about? Ladies, I am about to get STUPID on this guy!!

READ THE BIBLE. Pray, meditate, do what ever you have too, but keep this board on the subject: CAP MEN!!

Thanks Taurusbabe!!

I went off OK. All I can remember is that my phone was off last night and he left a message and I returned it with a text message because I dropped my phone. I haven't done anything. He's been a real jerk lately. But what he did was the last straw.

He's already insecure, so I don't throw other men in his face. THe other Cap I would because he gets on my nerves and Im always trying to find ways to piss him off or make him go away. But this guy is special and I have taken a lot off of him. I'm trying to be patient. I think he's a little pissed at the moment and I probably won't hear from him for awhile, GOOD! I don;t need the emotional rollercoaster ride

You know how we are TB— LOL! I have leo moon/rising so being a bull and lion, I am not the easiest person to deal with. HA!

ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

1) men aren't rubberbands, because rubberbands are flexible and do not start wars, unless they are rubberband wars which men have started

2) I don't like mean people, they are just mean and who needs them, only self-disrespecting suckers like to be around them and other mean people, they deserve @other

3) some wars are necessary such as WWI & WWII, some are not such as Vietnam and Iraq and numerous other

4) the only thing that makes wars economically advantageous is when a nation gets excited about a cause the GOP increases, meaning people get off their butt and become more productive, that is the only thing that truly improves the economy...all other fascimilies of economic improvement are just robbing peter to pay paul, cities need to be rebuilt and there is a limited amount of wealth, therefore, anything destroyed will eventually cost everyone in this world to replace

5) cockroaches are the only species that will survive a holocost, tests have been made and they can survive anything, the largert coackroach is over 12" long

6) what does war have to do with caps— personally I prefer to roll under the covers and laugh at silly people getting all excited about being mean

🙂

Oops I mean GNP.... tee hee hee. C-o-c-k-roaches are indestructible and will take over the world when if we make it uninhabitable for everything else. sb, I like what you have to say too... 🙂

No one likes to be manipulated. I've been used, we all play the fool sometime but I just cant plot vengence on someone who has wronged me. I leave it up to Karma and pray for them. In the end we all get what we deserve. I think the opinion about a sub-species human race taking over is a little off the wall, but anything is possible. If something like that were to happen I doubt it would be in our lifetime. I dont comment on war and politics its a neverending discussion and I cant waste my time like that. And finally, when I'm in a relationship or pursuing a relationship I step outside of myself and think of what I can offer that person. Its more important to me to know what I'm capable of giving then what I get in the end. We all want reciprocity sometimes we get it and sometimes we dont. But at the end of the day you have to be the best person you can be and hope that it comes back around to you.

Here Here, I support your comments. I will add this:

I know it may sound silly, but it is a Fact, c-o-c-k roaches can survive a nuclear bomb, electricution, chemical warfare. If we don't talk about wars and their appropriatness, then we leave the decision in someone elses hands, no thanks, I plan on making my vote count.

On all else FebPisces, I totally agree with you. I would rather a strong disciplined unwaivering person be in charge of a war, than some mean person that enjoys being mean and spiteful.

You are a very literal person Brahn and that's o.k., it's just that sometimes you miss the complete message and rebuttle for naught. Men fall into that trap, women are good at perception which allows us to see the true meaning.

Febpisces is no fool for allowing Karma, this is otherwise known as being happy with who you are at the end of the day, if more of us followed that thinking, this would be a better world.

Not everyone has a taste for war, and not you do not need to be mean to conduct a war, many wars have held truces in order to observe holidays or other significant issues, and taken very good care of POW's. That is not meaness, true succesful wars are when your oponent ends the war with respect for you, not hate.

I understand where you are coming from. My view may be foolish to some, but it works for me. I just think that "getting back" at someone is a false sense of vindication. Dont get me wrong, I've wanted to lash out in the past but each morning I have to look at myself and live with myself. I'm also a big believer in redemption simply because I'm far from perfect and I would want someone to forgive me during the times when I have said or done something that hurt another person. Its all about the yin and the yang....checks and balances....right and wrong.....being a bigger person. I still think you need a lot of warm fuzzies and then maybe that concrete wall you've built around yourself will start to crumble and you can see things in a new light 🙂

No, don't leave Dancing Bread, you gotta give me a chance to educate you. Your may perceive to understand what I logically deduced, but I'm afraid what you understood is not what I meant.

Karma is soooooo misunderstood. But before I go any further, I want to state that I believe in one God, I just don't subscribe to mankind's religion. Ultimately, good and evil is only known in your own heart and noone can make you believe as they do, your beliefs are yours alone. Others may chime in with lip service, but in their minds and psyche, it is what they believe that they will live by.

Now Karma has nothing to do with receiving evil for evil, nooooo, not even good for good. That is completely wrong. Karma is about re-experiencing the same problems until you learn to overcome them, so if you miss the point on issues in your life, you will continue to experience the same problems over and over again, until you finally deal with your issue and are ready to move on to the next level of issues, until you finally accept that ultimately you can only control yourself and have the choice to bring make things better or worse for yourself and those around you. That is when you can feel "good" about who you are at the end of the day.

P.S. I was just kidding about the "education" 🙂 I hope you come back to share..

DB, I'm glad you came back, I agree with you, that is why right and wrong, good or evil can only be determined in your own heart, and also why there are so many
Gospels that contradict each other, and religions that conflict with each other even when they say they are fundamentally the same religion. One man's interpretation of "sacred" documents is completely different than another man with the same training and resources. So where does the vortex end? Inside your own heart, that's where. "The calm inside"

To good times! 🙂 I believe and percieve that all religions aim at the same goal which is to control Quantum Physics with the mind....

That would depend on wether human nature is alien nature, they might also have reached nirvana and decide we need to learn our own lessons in math... 🙂

I agree with you sb, on all counts

just kidding. tee hee hee 🙂

Aliens have the power to actually be better or worse than humankind, that is why they are aliens and we are not, or actually, I used to have a green card that said I was, that's why I am better and worse than all of ya.....tee hee hee.

I nowed that, I nowed it by the way you smelled.

No, by the way you smelled, ie. sniff sniff 🙂

Glad to have you on board this ship.

Who said anything about legal....there ya spoiling all the fun. tee hee hee

Thanks to LeoAnnoyed...INS has found an alien star named.....star dance......she is now sitting in a locked room taking a math test to see if she is math smart enough to stay under assylum (isn't that where they send looneybirds) luckily she wizzed on the test, I mean the wizzed the test and did the moon walk right out the door.

dah dumb, dah dumb, dah dumb.....land o'the free....yee hah!

sb, way=how=method of smelling, vs. way=how=type of smell

We, as mankind in our present form, may indeed annilate ourselves, but our spirits will never die. We may keep returning in different forms -- "replacements" as you say. We are eternal beings and we may have to keep repeating this cycle of destroying each other until we carry out the divine mandate. God's Word will prevail.

This is my first msg but for days I've been reading these msges.All those issues which had always been in my mind ve been discussed here particularlly this one that why men act strange and pull away though they claim that they love u.
What Leo girl said(From Men r from Mars..)is just what we have assumed to be a reason behind a man's strange behavior.But i see no logic in this theory.If they love u why do they pull away.Most of the time they dont even know if they love u or not.Probably when they realise that u r not love of their life they want to run away from you.The worst part is they keep u hanging,never telling u the truth and that because they can come back if they want to.

some men need space they dont leave but they kind of separate from their partner ive experienced this with my man and weve never broken up he just has a bit of time to himself

Even if your partner breaks up with you and says he wants to be friends - that is pulling away and having time to himself?

lol

LOL!