Men - What is Dating like for you?

Curious about the issues and differences that men face while dating compared to those that women face. I'm sure there are things you have to consider that women don't and I'm curious to what your thoughts/challenges/rewards/issues/ideas are on this.

I have another post asking about committed relationships...this one is just for the dating process.

Boring. I usually prefer not to unless I actually feel something.

It really is trial by fire.

Run hot, then cold, hot, cold, don't call back, promise to do something with you, cancel at the last minute, time after time. Basically act psychic. Tell you "it isn't going to work!", demand that you call them the next day for whatever reason, sigh....

As we all know I am more chronologically enhanced than most of you. One of my friends who is even more enhanced than I has remarked that it is just the same as when we were in high school. I couldn't argue against that point.

-Unrealistic expectations
-Unfair comparisons
-Shallowness

Pretty chilled. Being on a date for me pretty much means just hanging out as friends though. I don't really do the whole 'proper date' thing until I'm absolutely sure.

It's just not that complicated for me. I've given up on caring about compatibility a long time ago and once I've let expectations go, things flow so much better and well... more fun as well.

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by FrostAndBite

Rough. Key word. He spent so much time talking, asking out and trying to set up dates with girls. Most were flaky, evasive or very flighty. I was kinda surprised at some of his dating stories with how rude and judgmental some women are.

And that's the bible truth!

The thing is, most female friends who hear these stories refuse to believe them - it has to be the man's fault.

So, when women come on here to complain about men either not committing or disappearing, chances are at least 50% of these very men probably went through all the above shit (and more), and are now distrustful not only of women but the situations involving sexual/romantic relationships.

click to expand

+10

And the best of all is that it is fine for them to do all this but not for you. We eventually rage quit and then they would still banter without realizing that it is there shit that is driving us insane.

You want to take time to center again, you'r an asshole and you string them along. They want to do it and string you, thats fine oh and btw fck you. I mean really?

Since thinking they are 'entitled' to more a lot of them have a really shitty approaches to life. It becomes hell while you are trying to find a real woman amongst the crap. Someone who does'nt just claim to be, but is a person who respects and earns the respect of others by keeping bs at bay. A real woman will be respected, but this other bs in between. I dunno... And they rant and rave when shit goes South. Open your eyes girl, if the problem is always where you are, then it ain't other people...

Eventually you'r so fucking desensitized it isn't even funny.

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
-Unrealistic expectations
-Unfair comparisons
-Shallowness

After experiencing some uphill recently, and then reading some of the stuff they post on here... +1000

Posted by OmagaIII

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by FrostAndBite

Rough. Key word. He spent so much time talking, asking out and trying to set up dates with girls. Most were flaky, evasive or very flighty. I was kinda surprised at some of his dating stories with how rude and judgmental some women are.

And that's the bible truth!

The thing is, most female friends who hear these stories refuse to believe them - it has to be the man's fault.

So, when women come on here to complain about men either not committing or disappearing, chances are at least 50% of these very men probably went through all the above shit (and more), and are now distrustful not only of women but the situations involving sexual/romantic relationships.

+10

And the best of all is that it is fine for them to do all this but not for you. We eventually rage quit and then they would still banter without realizing that it is there shit that is driving us insane.

You want to take time to center again, you'r an asshole and you string them along. They want to do it and string you, thats fine oh and btw fck you. I mean really?

Since thinking they are 'entitled' to more a lot of them have a really shitty approaches to life. It becomes hell while you are trying to find a real woman amongst the crap. Someone who does'nt just claim to be, but is a person who respects and earns the respect of others by keeping bs at bay. A real woman will be respected, but this other bs in between. I dunno... And they rant and rave when shit goes South. Open your eyes girl, if the problem is always where you are, then it ain't other people...

Eventually you'r so fucking desensitized it isn't even funny.

click to expand

What rants are we talking about? Complaining? Or just having a problem about something and letting you know? What shit, though?

Hahaha, it's never just having a problem...

And you never let the GUY who is with you know. No, he is supposed to smell it from a fcking mile away. You bash other GUYS who aren't involved with you. Most of the time you hold double standards. Complaining about a guy not communicating, yet your not doing either. Complaining about receiving mixed signals, yet you emit them too. A guy is mostly straight down the barrel, you start doubting then he picks it up and starts doubting too and you wonder why. Complaining a bout your needs, without thinking for one second that he has a need as well. And no, we don't just thrive on sex and water, so don't even throw that one cause that in itself is bs. An asshole will shag every girl on the block 3 times. I real man chooses to be faithful to one woman.

You complain about guys turning into assholes, but you don't assume responsibility for actions that you might have contributed to the change. Now it isn't always the case, that is a given, but still talking of a rough margin of 80% of the time here.

It is like once a guy decides he wants to be with you, you decide well he made the choice so let me get absolutely everything out of this fucker till he can't take it anymore, then he'll ask me to marry him and we will be happy ever after. And then he screws you, if your lucky, and ups and leaves. And we get forum posts about 'Oh but he loves me so much he slept with me why did he leave— Oh cruel world...' Not funny. Take responsibility.

I apologies when I make mistakes, and I beat the shit out of myself if I mess up and don't show the respect that the female species deserve. Then I go back and the shit starts again. No wonder married men are fat, grumpy and silent. They fucking contemplate the shit they get into every day just cause his wife felt like it. Someone said recently that marriage is an institution... Starting to understand what they mean by that. And I'm not even married, and the friends that I have that are, well, only one isn't complaining... much...

Posted by FrostAndBite
I'm not a guy, but I thought I'd share my scorp's experiences.
Rough. Key word. He spent so much time talking, asking out and trying to set up dates with girls. Most were flaky, evasive or very flighty. I was kinda surprised at some of his dating stories with how rude and judgmental some women are.
His Leo bff is single and has been for a year or so. I know it has been really hard for him to date seriously too. Women often flake on dates, one girl left in the middle of dinner and said 'I just can't do this.' Like damn, be polite and at least stick out a 1-2 hour dinner like every other single person shit.
That and both of them said the only ones that wanted to settle down were pretty dumb and boring lol. Seems like a lot of the women they really liked wanted mainly casual relationships. Which us kinda true for me and the Scorp too. I intended for him to be my hot fling, haha.

that's what my husband and his bff's said too. ALOT of women out there are dumb as hell, and boring as hell. Then i thought..huh? well....i'm a homebody and boring as hell...and i'm not that smart about stuff...soooooooooo.....what they say and want are different things. *smh* 😆
and his bff said that some of the girl's are so boring to date but one of them married a really boring one. *smh some more* men are as strange as women...and they say women are strange.

And for heaven's sake, don't let on that you might have "soft" side. "I want a sensitive man" is a huge load of malarky! Studly, manly types are what they really want. Keep your mouth shut, and your pecs flexed!!!

I see someone mentioned "communication," also. Nope, no communication allowed!!!!

It is my opinion that both of these characteristics make a female reflect on the image they are projecting. This observation would include such things as whether that image is the one they don't want to project, or aren't comfortable with. This of course will vary from female to female, which of course in another insight/observation/sensitive response, so I am buying nothing but trouble for myself.

An example of a typical exchange. I have been annoying an Aries with cap moon for quite a while now. I mentioned a day or so ago that she could be quite stubborn. She was fairly astonished that I would think that, and flatly refused to go for a short walk with me. See, you are stubborn. I AM NOT STUBBORN!!!! And hell no I am not going for a short, but quite lovely walk with you!!!!!

"that's what my husband and his bff's said too. ALOT of women out there are dumb as hell, and boring as hell. Then i thought..huh? well....i'm a homebody and boring as hell...and i'm not that smart about stuff...soooooooooo.....what they say and want are different things. *smh*
and his bff said that some of the girl's are so boring to date but one of them married a really boring one. *smh some more* men are as strange as women...and they say women are strange."

Just because you/your hubby/hubby's bff think someone is boring and dumb does not mean someone else won't find them quite interesting and attractive. Being boring and dumb might actually mean open and honest.

This

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/taurus/taurus-men-play-mind-games-5113235/
Need I say more...

Posted by OmagaIII
Hahaha, it's never just having a problem...

And you never let the GUY who is with you know. No, he is supposed to smell it from a fcking mile away. You bash other GUYS who aren't involved with you. Most of the time you hold double standards. Complaining about a guy not communicating, yet your not doing either. Complaining about receiving mixed signals, yet you emit them too. A guy is mostly straight down the barrel, you start doubting then he picks it up and starts doubting too and you wonder why. Complaining a bout your needs, without thinking for one second that he has a need as well. And no, we don't just thrive on sex and water, so don't even throw that one cause that in itself is bs. An asshole will shag every girl on the block 3 times. I real man chooses to be faithful to one woman.

You complain about guys turning into assholes, but you don't assume responsibility for actions that you might have contributed to the change. Now it isn't always the case, that is a given, but still talking of a rough margin of 80% of the time here.

It is like once a guy decides he wants to be with you, you decide well he made the choice so let me get absolutely everything out of this fucker till he can't take it anymore, then he'll ask me to marry him and we will be happy ever after. And then he screws you, if your lucky, and ups and leaves. And we get forum posts about 'Oh but he loves me so much he slept with me why did he leave— Oh cruel world...' Not funny. Take responsibility.

I apologies when I make mistakes, and I beat the shit out of myself if I mess up and don't show the respect that the female species deserve. Then I go back and the shit starts again. No wonder married men are fat, grumpy and silent. They fucking contemplate the shit they get into every day just cause his wife felt like it. Someone said recently that marriage is an institution... Starting to understand what they mean by that. And I'm not even married, and the friends that I have that are, well, only one isn't complaining... much...

Note to self:
No complaining.
No double standards.
Appreciate what your man does.

Posted by dofacc
And for heaven's sake, don't let on that you might have "soft" side. "I want a sensitive man" is a huge load of malarky! Studly, manly types are what they really want. Keep your mouth shut, and your pecs flexed!!!

I see someone mentioned "communication," also. Nope, no communication allowed!!!!

It is my opinion that both of these characteristics make a female reflect on the image they are projecting. This observation would include such things as whether that image is the one they don't want to project, or aren't comfortable with. This of course will vary from female to female, which of course in another insight/observation/sensitive response, so I am buying nothing but trouble for myself.

An example of a typical exchange. I have been annoying an Aries with cap moon for quite a while now. I mentioned a day or so ago that she could be quite stubborn. She was fairly astonished that I would think that, and flatly refused to go for a short walk with me. See, you are stubborn. I AM NOT STUBBORN!!!! And hell no I am not going for a short, but quite lovely walk with you!!!!!

I agree with the sensitive man part. I want a kind, considerate manly type that shares his opinion and ideas. I don't want someone who is sensitive and constantly getting their feelings hurt or crying all the time. Shivers at the thought of that!!!

I see what you're saying though, the contradiction. So, note to self: Be consistent and honest with what you want.

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
-Unrealistic expectations
-Unfair comparisons
-Shallowness

So basically, be realistic and accepting of who they are.

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by FrostAndBite

Rough. Key word. He spent so much time talking, asking out and trying to set up dates with girls. Most were flaky, evasive or very flighty. I was kinda surprised at some of his dating stories with how rude and judgmental some women are.

And that's the bible truth!

The thing is, most female friends who hear these stories refuse to believe them - it has to be the man's fault.

So, when women come on here to complain about men either not committing or disappearing, chances are at least 50% of these very men probably went through all the above shit (and more), and are now distrustful not only of women but the situations involving sexual/romantic relationships.

click to expand

Lesson here is take responsibility for your own actions and aknowledge your own mistakes. Every action has a reaction and his reaction may have been because of your action.

Posted by aquasnoz
Pretty chilled. Being on a date for me pretty much means just hanging out as friends though. I don't really do the whole 'proper date' thing until I'm absolutely sure.

It's just not that complicated for me. I've given up on caring about compatibility a long time ago and once I've let expectations go, things flow so much better and well... more fun as well.

So by this I take it you mean live in the moment and let things roll with the flow.

Posted by OmagaIII

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by FrostAndBite

Rough. Key word. He spent so much time talking, asking out and trying to set up dates with girls. Most were flaky, evasive or very flighty. I was kinda surprised at some of his dating stories with how rude and judgmental some women are.

And that's the bible truth!

The thing is, most female friends who hear these stories refuse to believe them - it has to be the man's fault.

So, when women come on here to complain about men either not committing or disappearing, chances are at least 50% of these very men probably went through all the above shit (and more), and are now distrustful not only of women but the situations involving sexual/romantic relationships.

+10

And the best of all is that it is fine for them to do all this but not for you. We eventually rage quit and then they would still banter without realizing that it is there shit that is driving us insane.

You want to take time to center again, you'r an asshole and you string them along. They want to do it and string you, thats fine oh and btw fck you. I mean really?

Since thinking they are 'entitled' to more a lot of them have a really shitty approaches to life. It becomes hell while you are trying to find a real woman amongst the crap. Someone who does'nt just claim to be, but is a person who respects and earns the respect of others by keeping bs at bay. A real woman will be respected, but this other bs in between. I dunno... And they rant and rave when shit goes South. Open your eyes girl, if the problem is always where you are, then it ain't other people...

Eventually you'r so fucking desensitized it isn't even funny.

click to expand

So this lesson is be a respectable woman. Stand out from the crowd, the damaged masses. Don't feel entitled. Be real and respectful of him too.

I'm not surprised by the responses here.

Both men and women are dealing with a shit ton of immature, self absorbed individuals. That's what the dating pool mostly consists of now, thanks to decades of child worship and sheltering. It's just been getting worse because those who were raised irresponsibly are now raising their own, even more irresponsible children.

When you have a society full of people who refuse to take accountability for their actions, only have friends around because of a "what can I get out of it" mentality, and their general mantra is mostly "it's all about me" leads to a lot of problems in all areas of life. On a daily basis, the amount of inconsideration and sheer stupidity, which stems from living in their own worlds- oblivious to anything because they can't think beyond themselves, is all pretty frightening.

It's no shocker, or any less maddening, that you see this shit seep into dating. In the instances of females being flaky- not surprised. I've talked to girls who do shit like that and they're just... absolutely incredible. I want to push them into oncoming traffic, they're so self absorbed and stupid. "Well, I don't know where I stand/what I want" *twirls hair* "So I flaked on him/led him on." ...*facepalm*

I'm always amazed at how successful some of these dipshit women are in getting men, too. I know of one, who's a 21-22 year old Gem. Seemed nice enough at first. Was in a LTR with her guy. Then she started whining about how she wasn't into it anymore.

So she breaks up with him. Proceeds to immediately dating some guy at work. Jerks him around and gets back with her boyfriend. Pisses that guy off. I'm like why the hell are you getting involved with a young 20 something chick who JUST broke up with her boyfriend of like 3-4 years??

Then she starts screwing around with another guy. At this point, I have no idea if she's with her boyfriend in any official capacity or not. Then she screws around with another.

So here she is, running around, wreaking emotional havoc on all these guys. After the first coworker, I think it should have been known that this chick should be avoided. But no, two more guys got involved. They KNEW her reputation at this point, but still went for it. It'd be one thing if it were for hooking up purposes, but they were pissy that she jerked them around like she did.

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DATE SOMEONE LIKE THIS. We see the complaints from women here, I see examples from both men and women irl. There is obvious signs that a person is NOT ideal for dating, yet they do it anyway, like life is some goddamned Disney movie. Then they're butthurt and upset that they got screwed around and are pissed off at the dating pool.

What I don't get is why the hell guys go after women like this? Just like how guys don't get how some idiot women chase after shitty guys, guys do the SAME thing. It makes me wonder why they go after these moron chicks that ruin it for the rest of us?

As for not knowing initially about someone's tendencies in dating, only to find out a few dates/months in... again, yes, it's so very frustrating and disheartening. :/

Yes it is Rocky. Very disheartening. It disgusts me too. Meanwhile there are perfectly acceptable people and they're too "boring" so they're not interested in them. *smh*

Posted by truecap
Yes it is Rocky. Very disheartening. It disgusts me too. Meanwhile there are perfectly acceptable people and they're too "boring" so they're not interested in them. *smh*

Exactly. I've seen that happen a lot too.

...well what about so and so? They seemed like a really good person.

"NO TOO BORING."

Says the individual who has the personality of a bag of rocks...

I've found that the people who go on about others being "boring" are quite the boring individuals themselves- can't hold any sort of conversation that doesn't revolve around celebrity news, boozing it up as "fun" and who aren't glued to their phones all hours of the day for social interaction.

That's why they need more exciting people! They can't carry their own weight. 🙂

OmagaIII and Rockyroadicecream??s responses are the most grown up and truthful

People (men and women) need to know what they want and be clear. If you want a fling just say so. There are so many superficial people out there I doubt you??ll have trouble finding a like-minded participant like yourself.

Sometimes a man (or woman) will play games, be hot/cold, be manipulative, immature, dishonest, or just be interested in your money/body (sexual narcissism). Taking it slow is a good measuring gage. Sooner rather than later the idiot will show their true nature and you can bounce to a better (hopefully) situation

Don't give up guys, there are good women out there

Posted by FrostAndBite

Posted by truecap
Yes it is Rocky. Very disheartening. It disgusts me too. Meanwhile there are perfectly acceptable people and they're too "boring" so they're not interested in them. *smh*

Uhhh was this some passive dig and what I posted?

click to expand

No, not at all. I apologize if that made you feel that way.

Posted by OmagaIII

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by FrostAndBite

Rough. Key word. He spent so much time talking, asking out and trying to set up dates with girls. Most were flaky, evasive or very flighty. I was kinda surprised at some of his dating stories with how rude and judgmental some women are.

And that's the bible truth!

The thing is, most female friends who hear these stories refuse to believe them - it has to be the man's fault.

So, when women come on here to complain about men either not committing or disappearing, chances are at least 50% of these very men probably went through all the above shit (and more), and are now distrustful not only of women but the situations involving sexual/romantic relationships.

+10

And the best of all is that it is fine for them to do all this but not for you. We eventually rage quit and then they would still banter without realizing that it is there shit that is driving us insane.

You want to take time to center again, you'r an asshole and you string them along. They want to do it and string you, thats fine oh and btw fck you. I mean really?

Since thinking they are 'entitled' to more a lot of them have a really shitty approaches to life. It becomes hell while you are trying to find a real woman amongst the crap. Someone who does'nt just claim to be, but is a person who respects and earns the respect of others by keeping bs at bay. A real woman will be respected, but this other bs in between. I dunno... And they rant and rave when shit goes South. Open your eyes girl, if the problem is always where you are, then it ain't other people...

Eventually you'r so fucking desensitized it isn't even funny.

click to expand

Both these I suspect speak for a lot of guys who are dating. I know it does for me.

The unrealistic expectations is the killer, though. If I catch the faintest whiff that I'm being measured to impossible (double) standard, I'm ouuta there. I wonder how many of those princesses wind up in a house full of cats....

Pfft, I've been with guys who had that stupid, impossible standards (some were Libras, and nobody ever fits their fairy tale standard), and it's like wtf, this is some bullshit.

It just makes for both parties to be miserable- the one with the stupid standards is upset because you aren't this make believe person that they made up in their heads, and you're miserable trying (or not) to be this person they expected you to be. It's just asking for disaster.