Nobody can be stolen.

I don't understand those people who claim that some skank seduced and stole/snatched their significant other from their possession as if their poor lovers had been kidnapped at gun point when they actually just decided to leave on their own. How does a grown person even get "stolen" from somebody? Nobody can intrude on your relationship/marriage and ruin it without your permission. Therefore, I think the term "homewrecker" is ridiculous.


P.S.-I have never gone after someone who was taken and I most likely never will but I don't have a problem with those who do.

Amen.

aside that... I DO have a problem with those who do stick their asses in beds occupied by two people already.

Never went after anyone's man, but had someone try to go after mine. With that said, when that happened, him and I were already done pretty much.

Posted by GreekBarbie
Nobody can intrude on your relationship/marriage and ruin it without your permission. Therefore, I think the term "homewrecker" is ridiculous.

Without someone's, or 'your' permission? Please explain that one, and who you mean by 'your'.

Posted by OceanDeep

Posted by GreekBarbie
Nobody can intrude on your relationship/marriage and ruin it without your permission. Therefore, I think the term "homewrecker" is ridiculous.

Without someone's, or 'your' permission? Please explain that one, and who you mean by 'your'.

click to expand

The permission of the person who decided to leave. They left because they wanted to leave, not because someone put a gun to their head and forced them.

It's easier to say "He stole her from me" than it is to say "I neglected our relationship, it caused bitterness and resentment to grow inside her until she couldn't take it anymore. She tried to tell me she was falling out of love and I didn't hear her. Then, at a low point in our love, another man was there... their stories were all new and exciting to each other, he paid attention and I wasn't even home". The only people who can be blamed are the ones who were in the relationship, not the third wheel.

I thought the term home wrecker was reserved for a woman who relentlessly, specifically, pursued a taken man. I still say the man is to blame if he strays; however, a woman whose intention is to make him cheat is far from innocent. I'm not talking about a woman who meets some guy and he doesn't say anything about being in a relationship, she could be considered a 'victim' here as well. I'm talking about the woman who sees an attractive man at work, knows he is married, hears him talk about his wife, gets jealous of her, and says "I'm gonna steal him away"... that woman has issues and the term home wrecker suits her well.

Posted by aquaj
It is no falsehood or exaggeration to say, she caused this divorce. If she had never had sex with him, he would have stayed with his wife (can't say for how long, but I know for a fact he wouldn't be getting a divorce NOW). Period.

The woman might have played a role in the divorce but I don't think she caused it because that man didn't have to sleep with her. He also had a choice not to. We're talking about a grown man here, not some small helpless child. It all ultimately comes down to the fact that he couldn't keep his dick in his pants.
Even if he didn't sleep with your friend, he still probably would have slept with someone else anyway because cheating was in his nature to begin with.

Posted by GreekBarbie
I don't understand those people who claim that some skank seduced and stole/snatched their significant other from their possession as if their poor lovers had been kidnapped at gun point when they actually just decided to leave on their own. How does a grown person even get "stolen" from somebody? Nobody can intrude on your relationship/marriage and ruin it without your permission. Therefore, I think the term "homewrecker" is ridiculous.


P.S.-I have never gone after someone who was taken and I most likely never will but I don't have a problem with those who do.

Cusrious. What brought this post on?

Posted by FortunateOne

Posted by GreekBarbie
I don't understand those people who claim that some skank seduced and stole/snatched their significant other from their possession as if their poor lovers had been kidnapped at gun point when they actually just decided to leave on their own. How does a grown person even get "stolen" from somebody? Nobody can intrude on your relationship/marriage and ruin it without your permission. Therefore, I think the term "homewrecker" is ridiculous.


P.S.-I have never gone after someone who was taken and I most likely never will but I don't have a problem with those who do.

Cusrious. What brought this post on?

click to expand

From hearing two of my friends complain. I can understand their frustration but that doesn't change the fact that they're both blaming the wrong people.

Posted by GreekBarbie

Posted by aquaj
It is no falsehood or exaggeration to say, she caused this divorce. If she had never had sex with him, he would have stayed with his wife (can't say for how long, but I know for a fact he wouldn't be getting a divorce NOW). Period.

The woman might have played a role in the divorce but I don't think she caused it because that man didn't have to sleep with her. He also had a choice not to. We're talking about a grown man here, not some small helpless child. It all ultimately comes down to the fact that he couldn't keep his dick in his pants.
Even if he didn't sleep with your friend, he still probably would have slept with someone else anyway because cheating was in his nature to begin with.

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It's entrapment!

Haha


Ultimately I agree it was the man's choice. There's no blame to lay, he made a choice. No one had a gun to his head. Having said that, the woman is not an innocent bystander here. She is a homewrecker because she fixated on someone she knew wasn't available. All that means though is that she has issues inside herself. She was not responsible for his relationship. She didn't promise to love and honor and be faithful to this guy's wife... he did. For whatever reason (and it really is irrelevant why) he then decided to break that vow. It was his promise, his word. He broke it. Cheating is a personal integrity issue. Integrity is just something so lacking in our society that these blame game tactics have become common and almost acceptable answers. It is ridiculous.

Posted by GreekBarbie

How does a grown person even get "stolen" from somebody?

That is so obvious that it makes rational minds question how one could believe otherwise. And then there's the truth of it, which is .... they know their SO can't be stolen, however, to make that claim means they don't have to look at themselves as having any accountibility whatsoever in a faulty development of the relationship.

By making such a ridiculous claim .. they believe they absolve themselves from any responsbility .. which of course is a madness they are unaware of.

Posted by GreekBarbie

Nobody can intrude on your relationship/marriage and ruin it without your permission.

click to expand

This part I think is a tad twisted, as it is making the claim that the relationship has been ruined by your permission .. when in reality, the person who thinks the relationship is ruined is the injured party, who wasn't the one who gave permission.

I feel more like the guy who had the affair with the friend is the home wrecker. No matter how bad the friend's intentions were and despite whatever tactic the friend used to get a married man's attention, the husband made the obligation to his wife and chose to make a commitment and take vows. He then chose to give into his urges even though he was physically and mentally capable of not giving into them.

I agree!

I think it's perfectly rational/logical to be upset with the woman/man who intrudes in on your relationship b/c after all, there is nothing cute or praise-worthy about it.

BUT actually placing the blame on someone outside of the relationship for a decision a person inside the relationship made is ridiculous & quite frankly enables the villian (the cheater) to scurt away from responsibility

Posted by virgodreamz
I feel more like the guy who had the affair with the friend is the home wrecker. No matter how bad the friend's intentions were and despite whatever tactic the friend used to get a married man's attention, the husband made the obligation to his wife and chose to make a commitment and take vows. He then chose to give into his urges even though he was physically and mentally capable of not giving into them.

Exactly. It's just mind boggling to me how everytime someone gets caught cheating, the "other man" or the "other woman" are the first to get blamed. It's not their job to make sure your s/o stays faithful to you. Do these people just expect us strangers to babysit their s/o and see to it that they don't cheat? If your grown ass s/o needs to be babysat like that, then maybe they shouldn't even be in a relationship to begin with.

Relationships are strictly for adults. Not for immature babies who can't control themselves 🙂

Thanks everyone for your insights! Sorry for not replying sooner 😢 I kinda forgot about this lol

Life is more complicated then what you are presenting. An outside person can put a lot of pressure on a relationship by tempting one of the members, especially during low points. Your post assumes that relationships are static. They aren't. They are changing, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. It is a trial of character who succeeds in their commitment and who does not. During hard times, it is easy to think things are greener. Add a person on the outside, flirting, throwing themselves at one of the partner ... things happen.

Unfortunately, I have seen women specifically go after men in relationships seeking validation (though they would never admit to it.) Some guys joke wearing a wedding ring is the surest way to get laid. Not cool as far as I am concerned.

I hope this never happens to you and you never find out what it is like to have someone interfere in your relationship or have to really question your underlying assumption. Life has a funny way of making you question and face your "always" and "never" stances.

Posted by GreekBarbie
I don't understand those people who claim that some skank seduced and stole/snatched their significant other from their possession as if their poor lovers had been kidnapped at gun point when they actually just decided to leave on their own. How does a grown person even get "stolen" from somebody? Nobody can intrude on your relationship/marriage and ruin it without your permission. Therefore, I think the term "homewrecker" is ridiculous.


P.S.-I have never gone after someone who was taken and I most likely never will but I don't have a problem with those who do.

i agree. yes! don't women, for example, can tell a seductress/seducer coming on to your man a mile away??!!
honey, get the big chef's knife. it's time to do some cutting up.

if men fall for that, he's a womanizer anyway.

and if it's a man who got his wife/girlfriend taken away from another man....why isn't the man man enough to tell his woman what a skank she was?

hmm alot of men in this forum have had their wives/gfs emotionally and physically cheated on them continously, so i dont know what and how they dealt with that.

Posted by krysrenee7
I agree!

I think it's perfectly rational/logical to be upset with the woman/man who intrudes in on your relationship b/c after all, there is nothing cute or praise-worthy about it.

This. While ultimately its the cheater who chose to hurt a relationship there is a dishonor to the outsider who takes opportunity in a troubled relationship.

I have been in this situation, on both sides...Girls who have presented me with the opportunity to seduce them by "being there for them" through their relationship issues, also as the guy who has had his partner seduced or attempted so (I'll never know the truth).

My advice has always been that if there is still love for the other to do everything they can to work it out, ESPECIALLY talking to their partner about which they are trying to confide in me.

In the other situation where another guy tried to take advantage of my struggling relationship, she later tried to convince me that he was an innocent party, someone who would talk to her and give her advice when she felt like she couldn't talk to me. I pointed out that if she really felt that way she wouldn't be so scared/defensive about me being around this guy or knowing his name...etc. At the end of the day he is not someone I can respect because he knew the situation, knew the love she had for me and exploited the situation anyway.

Posted by krysrenee7
I agree!

I think it's perfectly rational/logical to be upset with the woman/man who intrudes in on your relationship b/c after all, there is nothing cute or praise-worthy about it.

This. While ultimately its the cheater who chose to hurt a relationship there is a dishonor to the outsider who takes opportunity in a troubled relationship.

I have been in this situation, on both sides...Girls who have presented me with the opportunity to seduce them by "being there for them" through their relationship issues, also as the guy who has had his partner seduced or attempted so (I'll never know the truth).

My advice has always been that if there is still love for the other to do everything they can to work it out, ESPECIALLY talking to their partner about which they are trying to confide in me.

In the other situation where another guy tried to take advantage of my struggling relationship, she later tried to convince me that he was an innocent party, someone who would talk to her and give her advice when she felt like she couldn't talk to me. I pointed out that if she really felt that way she wouldn't be so scared/defensive about me being around this guy or knowing his name...etc. At the end of the day he is not someone I can respect because he knew the situation, knew the love she had for me and exploited the situation anyway.