Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years. Everyone thinks we're going to get married. Everything's perfect except for his serious trust issues. He has these mood swings when he gets into that mode, he turns into a crazy person. He has his reasons not to trust me bc I cheated on him 1 year ago. But he also cheated on me. So I really don''t understand. About 4 years ago, we first dated for about 3 months, then we broke up bc he had to move away for school. Things weren't serious then and we both knew that.2 Years later, he came back in town, and he asked me out again. I had a boyfriend who I dated for about a year who I didn't really love, but I didn't want to be the bad person to end the relationship. So I was kind of seeing them both at the same time. I let my now-boyfriend know about the situation and asked him to give me some time. Now he keeps trying to blame me for cheating on him in that period bc he didn't know when exactly I broke up with my ex. He became extremely insecure about everything. He checks my phone/emails/facebook all the time, and questioned me how many people I slept with. He became so unreasonable that he thinks I was cheating on him when I took a trip with my Mom to my home city last year in April. I saw bunch of old friends including one of my ex-boyfriends in high school (I'm 25 now!!)He kept telling me to admit it so that we can move on. I sometimes think that I should just lie that I cheated on him so that he could just let things go. We've been fighting since last Sept and every fight was about this same thing. We live together and got a kitten together. Now he told me he really can't deal with the feeling that he doesn't trust me. I told him if he doesn't trust now, he will never does in the future. I moved out and took the cat with me, he was crying so much holding on the movie tickets from 4 years ago. I got so angry:"Why are you holding on to things that are not important?! You only hold onto the past.I'm standing right here and you don't care about our future/present at all!!"He kept telling me how much he loves me and how he will always loves me. He also said I'll always have his heart and he'll always be mine. It hurts so much to let go of this because of something that I didn't even do. It's a waste and I don't know how to deal with the pain. We're both in so much pain. It's like we want to be together but we can't.
IMO it's nothing you can do to make him trust you unless you attach yourself to his hip and live, shower, use the toilet and breathe in the same space, give him access to your emails, phone, diary 24/7 and that's not much of a life for you. It's not love if he's that controlling and holding past decisions against you, he just seems really immature and insecure and unfortunately you have no control over it, you can seek counseling that's if he agrees to it, live with it or move on and seek a healthier relationship, maybe he has some kind of abuse (sexual abuse) in his past, maybe he has some kind of anxiety disorder, bipolar, I dunno but I do know it's not healthy to live in a bubble just so another human being can feel secure and safe, you have your own life to live and you can't really do that if he's disrupting the development of the relationship with his toxic patterns.
About 4 years ago, we first dated for about 3 months, then we broke up bc he had to move away for school. Things weren't serious then and we both knew that.2 Years later, he came back in town, and he asked me out again. I had a boyfriend who I dated for about a year who I didn't really love, but I didn't want to be the bad person to end the relationship. So I was kind of seeing them both at the same time. I let my now-boyfriend know about the situation and asked him to give me some time. Now he keeps trying to blame me for cheating on him in that period bc he didn't know when exactly I broke up with my ex.
He became extremely insecure about everything. He checks my phone/emails/facebook all the time, and questioned me how many people I slept with. He became so unreasonable that he thinks I was cheating on him when I took a trip with my Mom to my home city last year in April. I saw bunch of old friends including one of my ex-boyfriends in high school (I'm 25 now!!)He kept telling me to admit it so that we can move on. I sometimes think that I should just lie that I cheated on him so that he could just let things go.
We've been fighting since last Sept and every fight was about this same thing. We live together and got a kitten together. Now he told me he really can't deal with the feeling that he doesn't trust me. I told him if he doesn't trust now, he will never does in the future. I moved out and took the cat with me, he was crying so much holding on the movie tickets from 4 years ago. I got so angry:"Why are you holding on to things that are not important?! You only hold onto the past.I'm standing right here and you don't care about our future/present at all!!"He kept telling me how much he loves me and how he will always loves me. He also said I'll always have his heart and he'll always be mine.
It hurts so much to let go of this because of something that I didn't even do. It's a waste and I don't know how to deal with the pain. We're both in so much pain. It's like we want to be together but we can't.
PLEASE HELP. ANY ADVICE WILL BE APPRECIATED.