Pregnancy

Isnt 40 too old to have a baby?....my husband and I have been married for over a year and he wants a baby.

I already have 3 kids..2 are adults and 1 is 10 years old. I dont want anymore although I would love to have a part of him.

Any insights?

I do not think 40 is 'too old' to have a baby. Neither does our bodies as women or we would cease to have our flux at this age. Of course certain problems with baby are on the incline as we age, but good care and taking care of ourselves when baby is in utero help naturally. Not telling you anything you don't already know being a mother yourself.
I would definitely talk about it with your husband, lay all concerns, fears and other out on the table. I understand the reasoning of being finished having children. In 8 years or so you will be 'free' in a manner of speaking. Since obviously you are the bearer of baby everything on your heart should be laid out there. As well as him having equal say, it's natural for him to want issue of his own.
Wide open lines of communication is my advice on the matter. Truly only you and he can come to a conclusion one way or the other. And best of luck to you whichever direction you embark on. 🙂

40 is not old at all.

I personally would not want a baby.I've got 1.5 years left with my youngest,and I've loved every minute of the last nineteen years of mothering.I was twenty three when I became a mom,and am looking forward to the rest of my years being enjoyable as just a "person".free to travel or do whatever my whim may be.
the older you are the more danger is involved,and it's just not for me in any way,shape or form.but everyone has their own choice and feelings on it,and if you think it's the right choice then I also think that's great.

Honestly to me, this seems like more of an issue on whether you want one opposed to does your age permit you to have one. 40 isn't too old, however the longer you do wait once you are that age, the higher the risk that your children have. That's not to say women who were in their 50's and 60's didn't pull out perfectly healthy babies, but you do have to be careful that you remain as healthy as you can, because as you age, it does become harder to have a baby. For you personally, you should really consider whether you want to have another child. Don't even think about your age. Does he want to have children too? I'm sure there are other ways of having a "part of someone" without having children, but if that is what you want, then by all means take the necessary steps towards doing it. To me though, you asking this shows you're a little hesitant about children in general right now, so don't rush it or anything.

No, lots of women have children in their 40's. Problem is, doctors often advise women to have children way before 40 b/c of the higher chances of risks women & their newborns face the older you are. It doesn't mean that it's impossible; it just means that your chances of experiencing a HEALTHY pregnancy DECREASE as your age increases. That's all.

BUT, with the proper medical advice & guidance, they'll be able to better tell you where you stand. They have so many high-tech tools/devices that can determine a woman's fertility; they even have some clinics that are specifically designed for women 39+ wishing to conceive so don't automatically get discouraged.

As for you not wanting any more children, I'd advice you to stick to your gut. YOU are going to be the one who has to carry that child for 9+ months, along with possibly even caring for that child persay (God forbid) something happens to your husband. So if you really don't want kids, don't bring them into this world unless you are mentally, physically AND financially prepared.

Plus, no offense, but you've only been married for a year, so if I were you I wouldn't be making those kinds of decisions (decisions that can affect the next 18+ years of your life) until you & your husband are together for a little while longer. I'm guessing that you & your husband both knew up front (coming in) that you didn't want any more kids b/c of the load you've already got, so I'm just curious to know if you've ever told him what you just told us (about not wanting any more kids)?

I think it's awesome & honorable that you want "a part" of your husband b/c hey, that's what married couples do! BUT, if you BOTH aren't as equally ready/content with bringing another child into this world, then it's not fair/best to bring a child into the world only off of love for your partner alone. Children require parents who are BOTH mentally, physically, spiritually, psychologically AND financially ready AND prepared. And if only 1 of you is enthusiastic, maybe that's a sign that you guys should probably just weigh more options before making such a HUGE decision. That doesn't mean saying "NO," but instead "WAIT"

There's always ADOPTION.

Posted by dward417
Isnt 40 too old to have a baby?....my husband and I have been married for over a year and he wants a baby.

I already have 3 kids..2 are adults and 1 is 10 years old. I dont want anymore although I would love to have a part of him.

Any insights?

My grandmother was 45 when she had my father. It is really just up to you and him if you want to go through pregnancy at this time.

it is for me but i'm not you. i think kids are great, i have one myself, but when i'm 40 my son will be 16 and i'll still be young enough to go out and have a good time. even if i choose to have another one my cut-off is in my 30's. my mid-30's to be exact but preferably sooner.

Yes, 40 is probably too old for you to have a baby.

I would think that if you've never had kids before and you are starting a family then it wouldn't be unreasonable to have one at forty, if it was the last of the litter .... but, since your kids are nearly grown (eight more years), and since the new husband will likely want more than one (so you'd be starting at this age) ... then you are probably too old.


You know, you have to think about your future life, also .. do you honestly want to spend the rest of your youth/mid life raising a kid? You would be in your late 50's by the time you would be free .. by then you would be starting to look for retirement homes.


You just got married ... don't you want to be free from such an obligation? I'm sure even with a ten year-old, you are still limited as to what you can do.


If you get pregnant now, Dward, you will spend the rest of your life .. tied down.

You also have to think about your life with your man if you had a baby. You know, if he decided to be exercise his freedom, and leave you at home tied to a baby ... can you honestly say you have the patience you did at 25 to be able to roll with that and not become a raging nut?

Because surely you must realize at 40 ... the older you get, the less tolerance there is for inconsideration, and insensitivities that come from a SO. Women at this age WALK away from decades long relationships because they can no longer handle male asswipes who think that a woman has a place.

My mums firend had a baby at 43 for her husband, i thought she was crazy. She already had a 24 year old and a 20 year old and they had both just moved out so to me that means its her time to finally be able to do all the things she wants.

But her husband didnt have any children and she didnt want him to miss out on that (prob sort of thing that should be discussed before marriage really!) The things people do for love....

my sister is 38 and just had her daughter a few weeks ago. she really wanted another baby though, mainly because her first born died at the age of 2 when she was 20.

if you don't really want to have a kid then don't do it just because he wants to have one with you. it really depends on what you want out of your life at this point in time and if a new child really fits into that plan.

Posted by dward417
Isnt 40 too old to have a baby?....my husband and I have been married for over a year and he wants a baby.

I already have 3 kids..2 are adults and 1 is 10 years old. I dont want anymore although I would love to have a part of him.

Any insights?

It could be a little dangerous for you.

Posted by dward417
Isnt 40 too old to have a baby?....my husband and I have been married for over a year and he wants a baby.

I already have 3 kids..2 are adults and 1 is 10 years old. I dont want anymore although I would love to have a part of him.

Any insights?

Surrogate

Posted by P-Angel
You know, you have to think about your future life, also .. do you honestly want to spend the rest of your youth/mid life raising a kid? You would be in your late 50's by the time you would be free .. by then you would be starting to look for retirement homes.

It may have once been an 18year commitment. Now a days though there's really no freedom in sight.

I know 35+ year olds firmly attached to the parental teat.

Posted by dward417
Isnt 40 too old to have a baby?....my husband and I have been married for over a year and he wants a baby.

I already have 3 kids..2 are adults and 1 is 10 years old. I dont want anymore although I would love to have a part of him.

Any insights?

40 is not an older age, but it is a more seasoned and wiser age.

That being said, be careful with your health at this point.

Yes, a pregnancy is possible at this point, but keep your overall health in mind as well.

Posted by dward417
Isnt 40 too old to have a baby?....my husband and I have been married for over a year and he wants a baby.

I already have 3 kids..2 are adults and 1 is 10 years old. I dont want anymore although I would love to have a part of him.

Any insights?

Hello yes. I'm not pressured at all for my age.

Damn health wise of course is a risk. But if you feel you two need to have another commitment with a newborn. At both yall ages. I don't see why not but there's adopting too though.