Seeing an Ex need advice

Okay I am seeing my Exboyfriend who Ive known for a long time and dated for four years. We split up about three months ago and he moved out. But for some reason we haven't officially broken up! I really love this man but I am confused about what I should do next. I feel like what is the point for us being broken up if we keep seeing one another. We call ourselves single and were able to see other people. So I recently started hooking up with another guy and I told my ex about the guy. He became angry and started seeing one of his ex girlfriend's. I am not concern with what he does when we are not together because we are suppose to be single. Yet when were together the same feelings are here and every where we go people assume we are a couple. I am starting to think maybe this is called an open relationship something I do not agree with. I tried to explain to my ex that maybe we need to cut our ties and have nothing more to do with one another. It is especially hard since, I feel this strong connection with him. He recently told me we are bestfriends, it might sound sweet but to me I think we are both very confuesed at this point. I have never been with any of my guy friends and I don't know wehere this is heading. We also share many of the same associates and friends. I have am bestfriends with his sister and Im the god mother of his niece. His mother and get along great and we talk about everything. I don't know how to move on especially since we have so many connections. How can an ex be your friend? What should we do to remain friends without have any romantic or sexual contact with one another? When were in public we still holds hands, we french kiss, he kisses my forhead and we hug passionately. We always keep eachother updated about our lives and pratically share the same live since we attend many events together. What can we both do to move on?

1. No you guys aren't in an "open relationship." This is a classic case of 2 people who want to have their cake & eat it too. If you didn't literally agree to have an open relationship than no, sweety he's literally just trying to be with you but yet find a way to sleep/deal with other women. WHY he won't just commit to you only is only something he knows & something you oughta figure out before you give another ounce of your time/energy/heart/body to this guy

2. What should we do to remain friends without have any romantic or sexual contact with one another? It's simple. STOP having any romantic or sexual contact! Be grown & use your sense of self & impulse control.

3. STOP doing all the things that couples do. If that means having sex, stop. If that means holding hands or being very affectionate, stop. If that means mentally NOT expecting him to act as if he's your boyfriend behind closed doors, stop. If that means hanging out all the time like couples do, stop.

4. You both are being selfish. If you guys cared about eachother as much as you claim, you'd BOTH stop, take a deep breath & think about where things b/w 2 oughta go. If you guys aren't even on the same page, someone is bound to get hurt.

5. Take the control back. Take some iniative. Figure out how YOU feel about things & then make a final decision. But all the back & forth stuff is only gonna get you the results that you're currently getting: confusion. If you want different results, do something different

1. You guys aren't in an open relationship. This is a classic case of having your cake & eating it too.

2. It's not an open relationship unless the BOTH of you agree to it being one. To me, it sounds like he's trying to find a conveinant way to keep you around while yet being able to sex/mess with other women. Now why he's not willing to only commit to you is only something he knows & something you oughta figure the answer to before you dedicate another ounce of your time/energy/body/heart to this guy.

3. You're both being selfish. If you love eachother so much like you claim, you'd both stop, take a deep breath & come to a decision that you both agree/stick to/with. All the back & forth only leads to the same ole results: Confusion. And if you want a different outcome/results, you have to actually do something different!

4. What should we do to remain friends without have any romantic or sexual contact with one another? It's simple. STOP having any romantic or sexual contact with him!

5. STOP doing all the things that couples do. If that means having sex, stop. If that means emotionally disconnecting so that you no longer expect him to act like your man behind closed doors, stop. If that means not hanging out as much as couples do, stop. If that means calling it quits on all the kissing/affection, stop.

6. Be grown. Act like you've got self-control & impulse control.

7. Going back & forth while leaving the other person left to wonder usually ends up with 1 person being very hurt in the end. And again, if you both love eachother oh so much, you'd both care ENOUGH to take the time out of your day to stop kissing & actually THINK!

8. You guys are purposely over-complicating things. If you don't wanna be just friends, get back together. If you guys need a break, take a freakin break! (Meaning leave eachother alone). If you guys can't be friends, stop acting like lovers. If you guys just come to a mutual decision & actually stick to it, neither of you would be so confused & the problems would be solved

1. You guys aren't in an open relationship. This is a classic case of having your cake & eating it too.

2. It's not an open relationship unless the BOTH of you agree to it being one. To me, it sounds like he's trying to find a conveinant way to keep you around while yet being able to sex/mess with other women. Now why he's not willing to only commit to you is only something he knows & something you oughta figure the answer to before you dedicate another ounce of your time/energy/body/heart to this guy.

3. You're both being selfish. If you love eachother so much like you claim, you'd both stop, take a deep breath & come to a decision that you both agree/stick to/with. All the back & forth only leads to the same ole results: Confusion. And if you want a different outcome/results, you have to actually do something different!

4. What should we do to remain friends without have any romantic or sexual contact with one another? It's simple. STOP having any romantic or sexual contact with him!

5. STOP doing all the things that couples do. If that means having sex, stop. If that means emotionally disconnecting so that you no longer expect him to act like your man behind closed doors, stop. If that means not hanging out as much as couples do, stop. If that means calling it quits on all the kissing/affection, stop.

6. Be grown. Act like you've got self-control & impulse control.

7. Going back & forth while leaving the other person left to wonder usually ends up with 1 person being very hurt in the end. And again, if you both love eachother oh so much, you'd both care ENOUGH to take the time out of your day to stop kissing & actually THINK!

8. You guys are purposely over-complicating things. If you don't wanna be just friends, get back together. If you guys need a break, take a freakin break! (Meaning leave eachother alone). If you guys can't be friends, stop acting like lovers. If you guys just come to a mutual decision & actually stick to it, neither of you would be so confused & the problems would be solved

1. You guys aren't in an open relationship. This is a classic case of having your cake & eating it too.

2. It's not an open relationship unless the BOTH of you agree to it being one. To me, it sounds like he's trying to find a conveinant way to keep you around while yet being able to sex/mess with other women. Now why he's not willing to only commit to you is only something he knows & something you oughta figure the answer to before you dedicate another ounce of your time/energy/body/heart to this guy.

3. You're both being selfish. If you love eachother so much like you claim, you'd both stop, take a deep breath & come to a decision that you both agree/stick to/with. All the back & forth only leads to the same ole results: Confusion. And if you want a different outcome/results, you have to actually do something different!

4. What should we do to remain friends without have any romantic or sexual contact with one another? It's simple. STOP having any romantic or sexual contact with him!

5. STOP doing all the things that couples do. If that means having sex, stop. If that means emotionally disconnecting so that you no longer expect him to act like your man behind closed doors, stop. If that means not hanging out as much as couples do, stop. If that means calling it quits on all the kissing/affection, stop.

6. Be grown. Act like you've got self-control & impulse control.

7. Going back & forth while leaving the other person left to wonder usually ends up with 1 person being very hurt in the end. And again, if you both love eachother oh so much, you'd both care ENOUGH to take the time out of your day to stop kissing & actually THINK!

8. You guys are purposely over-complicating things. If you don't wanna be just friends, get back together. If you guys need a break, take a freakin break! (Meaning leave eachother alone). If you guys can't be friends, stop acting like lovers. If you guys just come to a mutual decision & actually stick to it, neither of you would be so confused & the problems would be solved

1. You guys aren't in an open relationship. This is a classic case of having your cake & eating it too.

2. It's not an open relationship unless the BOTH of you agree to it being one. To me, it sounds like he's trying to find a conveinant way to keep you around while yet being able to sex/mess with other women. Now why he's not willing to only commit to you is only something he knows & something you oughta figure the answer to before you dedicate another ounce of your time/energy/body/heart to this guy.

3. You're both being selfish. If you love eachother so much like you claim, you'd both stop, take a deep breath & come to a decision that you both agree/stick to/with. All the back & forth only leads to the same ole results: Confusion. And if you want a different outcome/results, you have to actually do something different!

4. What should we do to remain friends without have any romantic or sexual contact with one another? It's simple. STOP having any romantic or sexual contact with him!

5. STOP doing all the things that couples do. If that means having sex, stop. If that means emotionally disconnecting so that you no longer expect him to act like your man behind closed doors, stop. If that means not hanging out as much as couples do, stop. If that means calling it quits on all the kissing/affection, stop.

6. Be grown. Act like you've got self-control & impulse control.

7. Going back & forth while leaving the other person left to wonder usually ends up with 1 person being very hurt in the end. And again, if you both love eachother oh so much, you'd both care ENOUGH to take the time out of your day to stop kissing & actually THINK!

8. You guys are purposely over-complicating things. If you don't wanna be just friends, get back together. If you guys need a break, take a freakin break! (Meaning leave eachother alone). If you guys can't be friends, stop acting like lovers. If you guys just come to a mutual decision & actually stick to it, neither of you would be so confused & the problems would be solved

Posted by AquaMa

What should we do to remain friends without have any romantic or sexual contact with one another? When were in public we still holds hands, we french kiss, he kisses my forhead and we hug passionately. We always keep eachother updated about our lives and pratically share the same live since we attend many events together. What can we both do to move on?

JesusChrist .... how is it possible that humans can go into space, do heart transplants ... and then be this stupid?


I'm not even going to answer your question .. if you are that lacking in common sense, and cannot even grasp simple concepts ... then it's obvious that you are't capable of understanding the answer .. so why should anyone bother?

Why buy the cow if the milk comes free—?

Make a stand, and stick to it and don't settle for anything less. If he isn't prepared to give, then move on.

It may be hard at first, and you might have to cut some things/friends out that you dont want to do without, but it is necessary in order for you to be able to gain back control of our life and what you want for it!

OK, you guys are making her out to be a victim here and that is just absurd. She went off and had the first lay outside of their "relationship" and is saying she could care less what he does when they're apart. She is far from being victimized here.

I can see where you're coming from, AquaMa. Yes, you're going to have to cut it off even though it's hard. I become best friends with my lovers first (always!) and when it came down to breaking up I literally had to cut them out of my life completely for a little while until I got over the strong attachment. You're just gonna have to suck it up and do what's right.

A victim?


lol

Wow! Very judgemental with little advice.

Posted by AquaMa
Wow! Very judgemental with little advice.

I'm hoping that you didn't consider my response to your post to be judgemental. I was speaking the truth, not to judge you but by experience b/c I've been in your shoes before.

Plus, the truth hurts. Don't be so quick to get defense when people are sharing their opinions with you, especially when you have to admit that if you knew all the answers, you wouldn't be asking all the questions. Let everything we're saying sink in.

1. 1st, you 2 have to make the decision on whether or not you guys want to either stick it out & work on things for good OR leave eachother alone for good. You've gotta know where you're going first, THEN draw the map on how to get there.

Once you know the gameplan, you work from there.

If you guys come to the mutual decision that things are over & that it's best for you two to part ways, THEN figure out how to strategize.

Some people are strong enough to literally cut someone out of their life & never turn back.

However, others have to slowly BUT surely ween themselves off of that person.

If you're the type that can't just abruptly let go, that's fine, BUT make sure that YOU are not over-complicating an already complicated situation. Make sure that you're sabbotaging your own chances for moving on & healing. And by sabbotaging, I mean still acting like & doing things like a couple when the 2 of you really aren't.