the vent guy

when i meet someone im interested in i make small talk initially, shorlty after that i find myself being a listener to all of their problems, giving them advice and support, and im thrown into friend zone and lose my chance at a date. do women have any interest in their "vent" guy? or do i need make a different approach?

I am a 'Vent Woman' (aka as 'The Woman with the invisible Tell Me Everything Hat').

It is vital to interrupt BUT sometimes it just can't be done. My 'best' ever was a date with a guy who took me for a meal, talked about his hatred for his Ex with increasing venom (including such choice phrases as, "I'll NEVER be rid of her till there's another Mrs X!") and, despite my attempts to change the subject, talked about her for ALMOST THREE HOURS, becoming increasingly angry as he did so.

Best bit was at the end of the date when he suddenly turned to me and said, "I've ruined tonight haven't I?"
Me: "Well! Er... the meal was nice." 🙂
Him: (After a moment's thought) "It's YOUR fault - if you weren't such a good listener I wouldn't have talked like that."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, people who tend to fall into the listening role do need to remember it's okay to talk about ourselves. I happen to be fascinated by people BUT - it would be nice if they felt the same way about me. I spoke to a guy on the phone last week and in half an hour he didn't ask me ONE THING about myself. At the end he said, "It was nice talking to you!" and I was just not able to say, "Yes, that sums it up!"

It isn't NICE of us, it's not fair to THEM.

Get out there and TALK!!!

i appreciate the feedback, being myself is important to me and being a good listener isn't anything i wish to change about myself, with some slight alterations i can find a balance between listening and talking