What are some signs that a man is controlling?

Lately I've been feeling differently abt the person I'm seeing. As with all relationships evertything was good in the beginning but now that time has begun to pass I'm seeing things that I don't like.I don't like to argue and this was something that he agreed with but all of our disagreements always turn into arguments. He yells at me and says the most hurtful and disrespectful things that any man has ever said to me. He is constantly testing me and playing head games. When I speak up for myself he accuses me of having issues and low self esteem which simply isn't true. He always wants me to do things with his friends but never wants to meet mine. Now anytime I have any sort of issue with him he just brushes me off and tells me that I want to complain. I'm a laid back type of person, I do not like drama but it seems like everytime we're getting along good, he'll try and do something to get under my skin so he can then turn around and tell me how I act like a baby, I need to grow up and of course the all too familiar "I have issues"...I have learned that his mother was/is very verbally abusive to him...I'm just ready to throw in the towel because I don't deserve this..

from what you wrote he seems to have some emotional issues in the maturity department.
So no you don't deserve that kind of abuse. nobody does.

Won't LET you go out. Likes to keep you at home.
He tries to put it in your head NO ONE will love you like HE does.
Isolates you from friends and family.
TELLS you what to wear.
Guilt trips you into doing things you don't want to.

Sometimes it is slow, if you are asking the question if he is, then most likely he has tendencies. Some controlling people have the greatest love for themselves, but such low self-esteem. If you are not comfortable then it could be that, or simple incompability.

I would say by your post you've found just the type of guy you are asking about...he's definitely trying to control you. This sounds very unhealthy and I would suggest a quick exit.

Leave tire tracks. Do not let him push his own insecurities onto YOU. When 'everyone else but him' has a problem there is a definite issue at work. You cannot fix him, he will not change. And you are absolutely 100% correct, you do not deserve that butter. No one does.
And if you think I'm blowing smoke, I'm not. Just got out from under a 13 year marriage that sounds just like that in Reader's Digest condensed form.

Teach classes, start a School of Awesomeness. LOL

I find it ironic that all these things in which you say he does to you, are actually traits that Scorpios are notorious for doing to their partners. When it comes to wanting emotional control ... Scorpios take the prize.

So, all of this leaves a question in my mind about perception ..... is he doing these things, or is it just that you percieve he is because your mind is control-the-partner based? To you .. control is the foundation, so this is what the content of his every action, in your mind.

But, that doesn't mean it's actual.



"Lately I've been feeling differently abt the person I'm seeing. As with all relationships evertything was good in the beginning but now that time has begun to pass I'm seeing things that I don't like."

According to you .... you have changed, you feel differently. YOU



Of course you view him differently now ........ you've changed your feelings. That doesn't mean he is any different from day One, it means your perception is different from day One.

You would say that you don't deserve that treatment .. when in reality, it might be just what you deserve.



"He is constantly testing me and playing head games."

That ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ is pure Scorpio. Scorpios are all about head games and testing people, and every person who has any experience with a Scorpio know this.

This is the very energy a Scorpio projects ... this desire for emotional control via manipulations of tests and games. So perhaps, this is your karma.




How does it feel?

Pretty fucked up, eh?

Welcome to reality.

RUN LIKE HELL! I feel bad for the guy that he was verbally & possibly physically abused as a child BUT it's not your fault OR your problem that he didn't take the necessary steps to get some help, counseling or resources to better himself in that department. The signs you are seeing are REAL! Your intuition is trying to talk to you & it's important that you listen. Emotional/mental abuse is very common & as long as you recognize the signs & know how to make the RIGHT exit, things will be alright.
Signs of emotional abuse:
1. Starting arguements over petty/small things, resulting in name calling & belittling of one person (For example, "This is all your fault,"). The arguments are a way for the abuser to find a reason to realease their anger & a justification for name calling & pointing the finger.
2. Slowly isolating you from your friends. Only being compromising when it comes to his friends, but being completely closed-minded & shallow to being around your friends (Often saying very bad things about your friends/or trying to encourage you why you need new friends or NO friends)
3. If you leave an argument or disagreement feeling voiceless, powerless, without any control, and mentally spent, there's a 99% CHANCE you are in a relationship with someone who is emotionally/mentally abusive

P-A is spot on!

I'd say if you have to ask "what are some signs that a man is controlling", you already know it's the case.