You are what you attract?

We've all been told this before

Of course when self-proclaimed "good" women/men hear this, they're the 1st ones to cringe when they look back & realize that they've always just "so happened" to attract commitment phobes, cheaters, abusive partners, etc.

People underestimate the power of "1st impressions." Even the most bottled-up people give off flares of their personality simply by walking or not even saying a word. I.E. the way they "carry" themselves.

Even though I'm happily married now, I'm like most people in that I've got a past full of bad seeds that I've dated/been with & assuming that the phrase, "YOU are the common denominator in all your failed relationships" is actually true, it's scary & makes me wonder, "Hmm, I wonder what signal I gave off to that guy that day to the point where he felt I was the perfect PREY?!"

Have we all attracted bad seeds/certain types of people simply by chance, bad luck or probability OR is there really something we're saying/doing at the time that made that cheater, abuser or bad seed want to approach you?

It's always easier to pass the blaim onto everyone else but ourselves

What is that abused woman saying/doing when "out and about" that keeps attracting to her abusive males?

Why does the girl whose never been given the title always seem to attract 10 more guys won't ever give the title?

Why does the girl whose been cheated on 100xs always seem to keep attracting more serial cheaters?

Ok reason so since you decide which topics people "oughta/should" discuss on this site, give me some ideas

What would you prefer me talk about?

How about my next post be about "The origin of the piano" or "What kind of music do you like?" Will that make you feel better? =P

love Krys post, wish she could condense them down a bit though but it's a hopeful wish I'm sure she won't condense them down though lol

She must be interested in human relationships. Likes to analyze. It's understandable, I do too. I don't commit to educating people about it, online or elsewhere but it's fun to read about.

Idk why it bothers people that the topics I discuss are in no way parallel to anything I'm personally going through

Almost like they're offended when I post a topic on "cheating" but yet mention that I'm not currently being cheated on or doing the cheating.

Whenever I post a topic about something I'm personally going through, I notice that no one ever complains about how long it is or asks me why I'm posting it. But when it's not personally about me, people are bothered. Weird.

Some people (like me) just like discussing general/common topics. And hey, some of my topics have been discussed already or may not be of interest to certain people. And that's fine. But why click on something if it doesn't interest you? And why poke at the author all b/c you may not like certain topics that they do? Makes no sense.

When I don't like a certain topic, I keep it moving. Not waste my time & go make the author feel as if something is wrong with them for being interested in something I'm not

The things I discuss on this site are things I've discussed with friends/family & are things that I'd just like overall opinions on as a whole.

And you're right, I do like to analyze. I'm interested in human psychology, how people think, how they come to think the way they think, plus certain topics just intrigue me. That's something I won't apologize for.

I believe you DO attract what you are. I concur with starlover with attracting aloof guys because I am aloof myself. I never attracted a cheater though (not that I know of) I never had a guy cheat on me & I was aware of it...if he did, I had no clue. I'm not a cheater at all. If there is a problem in the relationship, why cheat? JUST LEAVE. So yes...I am a strong believer in that.

Posted by starlover
I believe we attract what we need to learn, not necessarily what we want at the time

Wow, very good point/perspective.

I think alot of people hate admitting that b/c they don't like attaching anything negative to their name & own mirror. But it's true.

I believe we all go through certain situations (especially the bad ones) for a reason: To learn & grow from it.

And if you notice, the minute a person looks in the mirror & actually changes certain things about themselves (instead of blaiming everyone else for why they can't have/attract what they want), they start attracting a better quality of people.

If we all attracted prince charmings from the beginning, none of us would grow or ever change from the better.

Example: A person that has trouble forgiving others may keep attracting people who will betray them. Not b/c they deserve the betrayal or b/c it's karma but moreso b/c the only way to learn how to forgive is to actually BE in a situation where forgiveness is required

You reap what you sew. Bottom line.

Posted by krysrenee7
Example: A person that has trouble forgiving others may keep attracting people who will betray them. Not b/c they deserve the betrayal or b/c it's karma but moreso b/c the only way to learn how to forgive is to actually BE in a situation where forgiveness is required

That's a great concept but what about a woman who attracts a man that beats the shit out of her? What does she need to learn?

Posted by RealTalk

Posted by krysrenee7
Example: A person that has trouble forgiving others may keep attracting people who will betray them. Not b/c they deserve the betrayal or b/c it's karma but moreso b/c the only way to learn how to forgive is to actually BE in a situation where forgiveness is required

That's a great concept but what about a woman who attracts a man that beats the shit out of her? What does she need to learn?

click to expand

She needs to learn self-esteem. Self-respect. The art of loving herself & being her own best friend. The concept of having a backbone. She needs to learn what it means to not settle & not put up with bull.

Again, doesn't mean that people deserve the bad things they're put through, BUT even the worsts of situations can make you stronger & give you an opportunity to learn from it

The woman who continually ends up with abusers is still attracting them for a reason. It's probably b/c she hasn't learned the value of self-esteem/respect. When she finally does, the abusers won't consider her "prey" anymore.

Abusers target certain women for a reason & never approach other certain women for a reason. If they can pick up on the fact that you're "good prey" from just looking at you/watching you, that indicates that you're wearing the fact that you have low self-esteem on your shoulders

Posted by krysrenee7

Posted by RealTalk

Posted by krysrenee7
Example: A person that has trouble forgiving others may keep attracting people who will betray them. Not b/c they deserve the betrayal or b/c it's karma but moreso b/c the only way to learn how to forgive is to actually BE in a situation where forgiveness is required

That's a great concept but what about a woman who attracts a man that beats the shit out of her? What does she need to learn?

She needs to learn self-esteem. Self-respect. The art of loving herself & being her own best friend. The concept of having a backbone. She needs to learn what it means to not settle & not put up with bull.

Again, doesn't mean that people deserve the bad things they're put through, BUT even the worsts of situations can make you stronger & give you an opportunity to learn from it

The woman who continually ends up with abusers is still attracting them for a reason. It's probably b/c she hasn't learned the value of self-esteem/respect. When she finally does, the abusers won't consider her "prey" anymore.

Abusers target certain women for a reason & never approach other certain women for a reason. If they can pick up on the fact that you're "good prey" from just looking at you/watching you, that indicates that you're wearing the fact that you have low self-esteem on your shoulders

click to expand

I never really viewed it from that perspective...needing to learn something, but it makes alot of sense. I mean I always knew a woman that did attract a man like that had self-esteem issues, but I never view it as her having to learn she needs to change. WOW...you opened my eyes to some things. I keep attracting aloof guys that have a problem committing, I mean I thought that it was because I was aloof, but now I don't know. I've never been a clinging person or someone that has an issue with relationships (maybe boredom) but I'm oblivious as to what it is the universe may be telling me.

Oh BTW, I also thought that it was maybe past hurts & not wanting to get involved deeply, because again that was something that I was also feeling with walls mounted up. IDK...

Why does the girl whose been cheated on 100xs always seem to keep attracting more serial cheaters?


Iv'e always wondered that, it's even worse when they themselves admit it— If you know then why do it?

I guess it's like anything that's bad for you, you know it's bad but it's just too nice

sluts just can't help but attract other sluts, it's human nature. The only way the chain is broken is when a particular person is rich or famous. But fame is money i guess.
Then that person is essentially fishing with dynamite.
If you get money and looks then you've hit the jackpot.

I have many man slut friends, and all they attract is the same back. But every so often you get a beautiful girl who has an amazing personality but unfortunately goes for the hot bit of meat with the flashy car and expensive watch but eventually gets heart broken and confused because he dumped her.

Pure scientic evolution trumps all. The body wants what the body wants. Despite whether or not he's a "good guy" or not.
We're all victim to our reproductive blueprints. Pro-create and move on.
That is why my friend "that girl" keeps falling the same type over and over and over and over again.

damn i'm fucking good.

i think this is such bullshit. and i think it only helps abusers justify the way they treat their victims.

i used to date jerks. it was a combination of (a) only jerks ever asked me out and (b) i didn't look at things the right way. i grew up in an extremely fucked up environment. so when i dated these jerks, it took me a while to see that it wasn't about whether i was able to handle it, but whether i should be willing to handle it. i was viewing it with a completely fucked up lens.

my self esteem was awesome. i thought i was super strong and capable. i thought i was smart and fun and nice. i didn't think i was very pretty, but i also didn't think looks were very important, or that only pretty girls deserved to be treated well (apparently people expect pretty girls to be egomaniacs. jerks really dig pretty girls who are down to earth). and because the jerks all started off nice, i had a hard time realizing that everyone didn't end up being like that after the first few dates. to me, a healthy relationship was about as realistic as a family that ate dinner together and talked about how their days went (until i was about 17, i thought it was something that only happened on tv, or when other fucked up families like mine had guests over and wanted to make a good impression). it's also worth noting that abuse happens slowly. they start out acting nice. then they start playing mindgames, accusing you of cheating and abusing them, pretending to be all in love and emotionally vulnerable. the straight up abuse doesn't start until they've got you believing you matter to them. even then, it's gradual. it doesn't go straight to physical violence.

after a while, i realized that i was being treated like crap and it didn't matter that i was strong enough to handle it. what mattered was whether i was happy, and i don't just mean content, i mean happy. i can be content by myself. so i started to walk away when i saw the potential for abusiveness.

but i kept meeting jerks. so i started to wonder why. that's when i realized that a lot of great guys were into me, but i just wasn't picking it up. i wasn't flirting at all, not with the jerks either. the nice guys needed more reassurance that i was interested. meanwhile, the jerks were just being jerks and hitting on me whether i seemed interested or not. i learned to avoid jerks a couple years ago, but i'm stuck just being single until i can figure out how to come on a bit stronger with the nice ones.

Granted, we all will attract all different kinds of folks even if we don't send "prey" signals.

Some of the strongest women may attract an abuser once in their lifetime.

BUT, I'm talking about cycles...the women/men who keep on attracting the same types of people over & over again to the point where that's all they mostly attract. How arrogant would we be if we assumed that we had nothing to do with it?!

@Curious: What we attract is 1 thing. WHAT we do with who we attract is another. Even though abuse is never ok, you must 1st understand the nature of abuse & how abusers find their prey. They can easily sniff out low self-esteem. Who's fault is that?! It's not the abuser's (someone she doesn't know yet) fault b/c she has low self-esteem. However, if he puts his hands on her, it's not her fault b/c the abuser was probably abusive before she came along.

It's like the guy whose a commitment phobe. He's annoyed b/c he keeps attracting women that seem to REALLY really want committment.

Or the girl who swears she wants wants committment but yet keeps attracting commitment phobes. It's probably b/c sub-consciously she is NOT ready for committment but only thinks she is

People only think it's fair when others read the GOOD signals we carry & send off to others. But when it comes to the bad things, conveinantly people start saying that who we attract has nothing to do with self.

I'm not saying that who we attract has 100% to do with self, BUT it atleast does have SOMETHING to do with it!

Think about it. Some women have been in multiple abusive relationships. Why? B/c for some reason, abusers prey on them. Why? B/c there must still be an element missing (self-esteem) that abusers can sniff out.

If you'll notice...the minute these women get a backbone & some self-respect, you no longer hear about them attracting abusers. Nope, they go on to end up attracting me who will actually respect them & not see them as "prey" at all

So there def. IS a correlation b/w one's level of self-esteem & who we attract. And the proof is in the fact that every time someone makes a huge inward change within themselves, they magically start attracting a different breed/quality of people. So 1 def. has to do with the other!

Posted by krysrenee7

Or the girl who swears she wants wants committment but yet keeps attracting commitment phobes. It's probably b/c sub-consciously she is NOT ready for committment but only thinks she is

Exactly, that's why I go back to you are who you attract because that was my belief from the get go. I mentioned that about myself and said I believe it's because I have walls built up myself & maybe they get the vibe that I don't want to commit either. Maybe what an individual needs to learn is that they share the same feelings as the other person they keep attracting & then when they're AWARE of that, they then re-evaluate themselves and proceed accordingly. A man that beats the shit out of a woman has low-self esteem too. Mostly more than the woman...he hates himself so he draws a woman that hates herself too.

Posted by RealTalk

Posted by krysrenee7

Or the girl who swears she wants wants committment but yet keeps attracting commitment phobes. It's probably b/c sub-consciously she is NOT ready for committment but only thinks she is

Maybe what an individual needs to learn is that they share the same feelings as the other person they keep attracting & then when they're AWARE of that, they then re-evaluate themselves and proceed accordingly. .

click to expand

Very true.

2 people can feel the same inwardly about themselves but yet be 2 totally different kinds of people & live 2 different life style s.

The man whose abusive or who cheats may be that way b/c of low self-esteem, then again the woman with low self esteem may not channel that lack of esteem through means of being abusive or cheating, but instead by being prey to others. So in both cases, the betrayal is wrong, BUT the hurt that activates that betrayal comes from the same place

Posted by krysrenee7
@Curious: What we attract is 1 thing. WHAT we do with who we attract is another. Even though abuse is never ok, you must 1st understand the nature of abuse & how abusers find their prey. They can easily sniff out low self-esteem. Who's fault is that?! It's not the abuser's (someone she doesn't know yet) fault b/c she has low self-esteem. However, if he puts his hands on her, it's not her fault b/c the abuser was probably abusive before she came along.

It's like the guy whose a commitment phobe. He's annoyed b/c he keeps attracting women that seem to REALLY really want committment.

eh. i just think the human mind is more complicated than that. and like i said, i have high self-esteem. lots of victims of abuse have high self esteem. it's not that they don't think they deserve better. they're thinking of what they can handle, not what they deserve. or maybe like me they aren't very egotistical. i don't think i'm "too good" for anything, i don't think anyone is. i think warren buffett and the queen of england and i can all dig some ditches together if ditches need to be dug, so to speak. so i had to look at it from the perspective of whether anyone at all deserved to be treated badly, rather than thinking that i was somehow special in not deserving it, thinking that other people do. not to mention that abusers don't just start out abusive. they go slow and get people accustomed to slightly lower standards of treatment. to say an abuse victim is somehow asking for it or thinks they deserve it is a lot like saying that the jews of europe deserved the holocaust and thought they deserved it. only they didn't. they kept thinking things would get better, until it was too late, and even then many couldn't face reality. it was abuse on a huge scale using a systematic approach.

the jerks i went out with didn't sniff out low self esteem, though i'm sure they told themselves that to justify how they treated me. plenty of friends said i must secretly like being treated like shit in order to date the jerks in the first place or put up with them (i stopped talking to all of these people and use the term friends only because i used to think they were my friends). i didn't have many other options. the jerks were cocky enough to hit on me, and the normal decent guys i liked were too afraid of rejection to act like they liked me at all. it's worth noting here

@Curious: I never said that abuse victims deserved being abused. Never said that

What I SAID was that women who are continual abuse victims were somehow considered "prey" to an abuser.

The question is what are these women doing/saying or NOT doing/saying that's making an abuser consider them "prey" in the 1st place.

Doesn't mean that the woman is at fault all b/c the abuser is abusive. BUT it also means that the abuser isn't at fault if the woman he wants to abuse had low self esteem way before he even approached her

People always talk to abuse victims & hear their story but rarely do people actually try to get into the minds of abusers.

Abusers will tell you that there are certain things they pick up on women immediately. Just like a player whose out at a club & can spot the girls he thinks are "easy/sluts" from the girls who don't put off that vibe.

It's no one's fault, BUT if they're giving off certain vibes that attract certain people, that may explain why certain people gravitate towards others

So this wasn't about blaiming anyone. This was about examining why certain types of people CONTINUALLY (pattern only) keep attracting certain people. And in order for one to do so, they must 1st examine SELF.

Posted by krysrenee7
@Curious: I never said that abuse victims deserved being abused. Never said that

What I SAID was that women who are continual abuse victims were somehow considered "prey" to an abuser.

The question is what are these women doing/saying or NOT doing/saying that's making an abuser consider them "prey" in the 1st place.

Doesn't mean that the woman is at fault all b/c the abuser is abusive. BUT it also means that the abuser isn't at fault if the woman he wants to abuse had low self esteem way before he even approached her

People always talk to abuse victims & hear their story but rarely do people actually try to get into the minds of abusers.

Abusers will tell you that there are certain things they pick up on women immediately. Just like a player whose out at a club & can spot the girls he thinks are "easy/sluts" from the girls who don't put off that vibe.

It's no one's fault, BUT if they're giving off certain vibes that attract certain people, that may explain why certain people gravitate towards others

So this wasn't about blaiming anyone. This was about examining why certain types of people CONTINUALLY (pattern only) keep attracting certain people. And in order for one to do so, they must 1st examine SELF.

I agree. You really do attract who you are...sorry but you do. I've never had a guy cheat on me, as I stated before & I never attracted a guy who abuses me physically or emotionally. I am NOT a cheater & I am NOT having it. I wish a mofo would put his damn hands on me. I guess guys get the vibe that I'm too aggressive & strong so they can't smell me, but those damn aloof mofos can. I'M ALOOF!!!! Something I am working on...BTW.

Posted by Pb
Yeah.. Being aloof sucks sometimes :/ but.you'd think you'd attract someone more sentimental to balance things out right.. I attract mostly fire and water, earth then air...

Funny cus that's what my chart is most like, and in that order.

Well, I don't really need anyone sentimental either. I have a problem expressing my feelings too. I won't even tell a guy I miss him. Aloofness is good to a certain extent. Don't be too aloof though because I'm going to think you are not interested & then I'm on to the next. But yeah, I can't help it. Even if I'm head over heels about someone...if he comes around too much, he'll aggrivate the shit out of me that's why I'm a little fearful of marriage...want to but then again damn...same person every single day...sheeesssh! IDK...I attract alot of fire & water too, then earth & air as well. Maybe it's because I have air & fire placements within my chart? IDK...

Posted by RealTalk

Posted by Pb
Yeah.. Being aloof sucks sometimes :/ but.you'd think you'd attract someone more sentimental to balance things out right.. I attract mostly fire and water, earth then air...

Funny cus that's what my chart is most like, and in that order.

Well, I don't really need anyone sentimental either. I have a problem expressing my feelings too. I won't even tell a guy I miss him. Aloofness is good to a certain extent. Don't be too aloof though because I'm going to think you are not interested & then I'm on to the next. But yeah, I can't help it. Even if I'm head over heels about someone...if he comes around too much, he'll aggrivate the shit out of me that's why I'm a little fearful of marriage...want to but then again damn...same person every single day...sheeesssh! IDK...I attract alot of fire & water too, then earth & air as well. Maybe it's because I have air & fire placements within my chart? IDK...

click to expand

Wow. Spitting image of me! This is exactly how I was before I got married. And to an extent, I'm still very aloof, it's just that my husband now understands me so he doesn't even take it personal. Luckily I'm good at showin ghow much I care in other ways (vs. verbally) or else I'd probably be divorced by now!

Posted by krysrenee7

Posted by RealTalk

Posted by Pb
Yeah.. Being aloof sucks sometimes :/ but.you'd think you'd attract someone more sentimental to balance things out right.. I attract mostly fire and water, earth then air...

Funny cus that's what my chart is most like, and in that order.

Well, I don't really need anyone sentimental either. I have a problem expressing my feelings too. I won't even tell a guy I miss him. Aloofness is good to a certain extent. Don't be too aloof though because I'm going to think you are not interested & then I'm on to the next. But yeah, I can't help it. Even if I'm head over heels about someone...if he comes around too much, he'll aggrivate the shit out of me that's why I'm a little fearful of marriage...want to but then again damn...same person every single day...sheeesssh! IDK...I attract alot of fire & water too, then earth & air as well. Maybe it's because I have air & fire placements within my chart? IDK...

Wow. Spitting image of me! This is exactly how I was before I got married. And to an extent, I'm still very aloof, it's just that my husband now understands me so he doesn't even take it personal. Luckily I'm good at showin ghow much I care in other ways (vs. verbally) or else I'd probably be divorced by now!

click to expand

Hmmmm...is your husband aloof too?

Posted by RealTalk

Posted by krysrenee7

Posted by RealTalk

Posted by Pb
Yeah.. Being aloof sucks sometimes :/ but.you'd think you'd attract someone more sentimental to balance things out right.. I attract mostly fire and water, earth then air...

Funny cus that's what my chart is most like, and in that order.

Well, I don't really need anyone sentimental either. I have a problem expressing my feelings too. I won't even tell a guy I miss him. Aloofness is good to a certain extent. Don't be too aloof though because I'm going to think you are not interested & then I'm on to the next. But yeah, I can't help it. Even if I'm head over heels about someone...if he comes around too much, he'll aggrivate the shit out of me that's why I'm a little fearful of marriage...want to but then again damn...same person every single day...sheeesssh! IDK...I attract alot of fire & water too, then earth & air as well. Maybe it's because I have air & fire placements within my chart? IDK...

Wow. Spitting image of me! This is exactly how I was before I got married. And to an extent, I'm still very aloof, it's just that my husband now understands me so he doesn't even take it personal. Luckily I'm good at showin ghow much I care in other ways (vs. verbally) or else I'd probably be divorced by now!

Hmmmm...is your husband aloof too?

click to expand

No he's the farthest from aloof that it gets. We're opposites, but we make our differences work b/c we deeply understand eachother.

It helps that we can often finish each other's sentences & are good at guessing how the other feels (my face talks for me) b/c in times when I'm being aloof, my husband won't take it personal b/c he probably already knows how I REALLY feel.

If he didn't have the ability to accurately guess what I'm feeling/thinking, I'm sure my aloofness would be a huge problem, but it's not, Thank God!

^^^Wow this thread has opened my eyes in more ways than one. I REALLY see the error in my ways and understand why I keep attracting the same kind of guy. I didn't learn. I see the light now! I do. I see where I was going wrong & what I was doing wrong. I actually just broke it off with someone last night because of it. It was starting to remind me of the past so I just ended it. It saddens me...but I had to do it 😢. I feel like an asswhole because I didn't realize this before & it took so long for me to finally get it, it's like EUREKA!!!! That's it...This sucks so bad but I have to move on & attract something different now...I hope 😢

@Real Talk: Isn't it crazy how some of the most simplest things seem to be so complex until we finally get it later? I hate that!

People used to tell me all the time that I was the reason I kept attracting so many Aholes. Of course I didn't believe that b/c we're a society that would rather point the finger at everyone else 1st

But it's true. If we keep attracting the same quality of people, it's not that we deserve it, but moreso that we sub-consciously are seeking it, even if it's horrible or hurtful.

1 of the 1st thing abuse survivors mention in recovery is that when they finally got their self esteem/respect back, the quality of men they've attracted since has gone up & has been way different

Same goes with everyone else. It's eye opening b/c again, it teaches us to look within self FIRST, then expand out to pointing the finger at others later

It's kinda like the girl who walks in the club mean mugging vs. the very same girl walking in smiling. It's the SAME exact girl, with the same exact sexy clothing, face, hair style , etc. BUT when she's smiling, she'll attract 1 type of guy & yet attract a completely different breed of men when she walks in mean mugging. Proof that inner changes within us determine what kind of folks we sub-consciously attract

I kept attracting the wrong people in my life because subconsciously I was that way too. I couldn't figure out for the life of me why does this keep happening...After all these years I see, & I lost people that I loved because of it & that sucks big time. The universe kept telling me that until you realize what you're doing within yourself, I will keep sending these people in your life until you get the message. Well from reading this blog & losing someone else I finally fucken get it. I'm glad I know what it is now but I'm sad to have lost someone because of it. I guess the saying is true when you gain something, you lose something. 😢

Posted by RealTalk
I guess the saying is true when you gain something, you lose something. 😢

Well hold on...the saying rings true the other way around too =)

When you lose 1, you gain 2.

When 1 door closes, another opens

You said you "lost someone else" as in not only have you lost multiple people for the same reason, BUT what you said also suggests that you were still able to find someone else even after losing the 1st person.

So what makes you think there won't be others?! There def. will be! The only difference is that from here on out you can make the CHOICE as to whether you're going to let the same inner pattern make/break your next friendship/relationship

And the fact that that's even a choice is awesome!

^^^I know. But it makes me feel bad that I had to lose to win. It could have been so different if I went about it different & it's heart-breaking. To late now. Just have to move forward.

Posted by Pb
Honestly I'm very unconventional when it comes to relationships so attracting someone who is as aloof in love as I am would be a major problem.
.

Ha. I think that's sometimes why people are a little more excited & intriged when they attract their opposite for a change.

Plus, like mentioned above (somewhere in these 4 pages lol) we not only attract what we are, but also what we need to learn too. So if you're attracting aloof people even though you're aloof, there may be something you need to learn or change in order to stop attracting those sorts of people

eh! i've never heard about this. i chalk it up to matters of maturity.

Posted by krysrenee7
We've all been told this before

Of course when self-proclaimed "good" women/men hear this, they're the 1st ones to cringe when they look back & realize that they've always just "so happened" to attract commitment phobes, cheaters, abusive partners, etc.

People underestimate the power of "1st impressions." Even the most bottled-up people give off flares of their personality simply by walking or not even saying a word. I.E. the way they "carry" themselves.

Even though I'm happily married now, I'm like most people in that I've got a past full of bad seeds that I've dated/been with & assuming that the phrase, "YOU are the common denominator in all your failed relationships" is actually true, it's scary & makes me wonder, "Hmm, I wonder what signal I gave off to that guy that day to the point where he felt I was the perfect PREY?!"

Have we all attracted bad seeds/certain types of people simply by chance, bad luck or probability OR is there really something we're saying/doing at the time that made that cheater, abuser or bad seed want to approach you?

It's always easier to pass the blaim onto everyone else but ourselves

What is that abused woman saying/doing when "out and about" that keeps attracting to her abusive males?

Why does the girl whose never been given the title always seem to attract 10 more guys won't ever give the title?

Why does the girl whose been cheated on 100xs always seem to keep attracting more serial cheaters?

What about those random perverts harassing me on the street!! When I'm wearing a cardigan and jeans and have my hair pulled back! lol But I see what you mean. If a guy approaches me when I'm on a night out in a short dress I know he's not interested in my mind. Yeah not giving him my number.


However when I'm looking like a lady and reading a book and catch someone's attention, he's for keeps!😄

Posted by RealTalk
You reap what you sew. Bottom line.

Yay for this.
And soooooo looking forward to meeting the warm generous loyal sex maniac of my dreams🙂