Necessity of hot sex in bedroom...

Could you be with someone that didn't do it for you in the ways you like in the bedroom? If so, how do you deal with them not doing everything you want them to? Is it worth it to break up with someone who isn't hot enough in the sack?

To me sex is the second most important thing in a relationship after love. If two people are not sexually compatible then I see this causing major problems at some point in the relationship.

I find it totally aceptable to break up with someone for this reson, as long as it has been discussed with them, as if its not discussed they may have been completely willing to do what you wanted if only you had talked aout it! Also depends what it is the partner isnt giving them though, and there reasons why.

As much as people hate to admit it, sex is VERY important. It may not be the most important, but it's def. important

Just like communication, trust, honesty & fidelity are important to keep a relationship afloat, so is sex.

And it's b/c sex is about more than just getting on top of someone & getting a nut off. Lots of affection, non-verbal communication, etc. go into sex...and all of those things are very important in a relationship too

So no I couldn't be with someone whom I didn't have good sexual chemistry/compatibility with. And I don't feel shallow for saying that either.

Sex is just 1 factor & piece of the pie that has to be there in order for a relationship with me to work. Without 1 of those pieces, the relationship is in potential jeopardy.

The same would ring true if the sex was good, communication was good, but yet the trust wasn't there. Everything else could be great, BUT if the trust isn't there, the relationship can't work.

That's why finding a good companion/successful relationships are so hard to come by. It's b/c it's rare (which it's SUPPOSED to be) to find someone whom has all those puzzle pieces. And even though it's rare, it IS possible.

And that's why the couples whom have all those pieces generally tend to last alot longer than those whom are missing 1 or all of the important factors

Posted by everevolvingepithet
What krys and exo aid.
Although I disagree on the "And it's b/c sex is about more than just getting on top of someone & getting a nut off. "
Some of the time it is just about busting a nut and getting one's rocks off, sorry 'bout that. 🙂

Well I'm sure that's what quickies about about, or that may be someone's goal if they're screwing a 1 night stand. But when you're having sex with someone you actually give 2 sh*ts about, I'd assume that each person would have more in mind than just getting a nut off!

Posted by Daljip69
Could you be with someone that didn't do it for you in the ways you like in the bedroom? If so, how do you deal with them not doing everything you want them to? Is it worth it to break up with someone who isn't hot enough in the sack?

Hell 2 da no...I'm sorry. If a guy doesn't dine on southern cuisine, that's a deal-breaker. If he's packing lumber and can't use it, that's a deal-breaker. If he has a vienna sausage, that's a deal-breaker. If I don't get wet, that's a deal-breaker. If he doesn't 4-play the shit out of me, that's a dealbreaker. I digress but you get my drift...😉

I have been dating this girl for a while. She isn't bad, just not a lot of thrill. She is a little timid in some areas and she is a spitter which fuckin kills it at times.

Sometimes I wonder if it is the fact that she is a Gem and I am a Canc. I know it isn't all about the signs and shit, but there is just something lacking on the inside when we are in the moment that doesn't ignite that I am missin. We are getting deeping into a relationship and this thorn in my side is becoming more apparent, which is why I ask...I hate to think that it won't last just because of this, but long term in an unfulfilling relationship seems like a bad deal and I may want to be single and miserable instead. Wouldn't want to become a jerk on the count that I am forcing myself to stay for someone elses feelings being hurt because I am not not getting what I want/need.

Posted by Daljip69
Could you be with someone that didn't do it for you in the ways you like in the bedroom? If so, how do you deal with them not doing everything you want them to?

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Been there...would like to again...Scorpion energy is such a pure drug...

I broke it off with a sag back in high school because it just wasn't hot enough. Sex is very important to most people. It's the way two people become closer. If they just aren't doing the things you like you could help them a little. As people live with each other they learn what the other likes.

However if there is just no spark at all then the two have no business dating and at that point it just becomes a friendship.

I'm always up for trying new things. I think it's good to inquire if the other person likes what you're doing or to gauge the noises they make before you continue. Sometimes you may not like something at first, but the more time you spend with that person you may find you like it just because they are the only one's who do that to you.

I don't know, I mean working it into something else may not be too difficult. I think I am just missing something on the energy output and sensing level. Being so fucking emotional as a Cancer doesn't help shit out because sometimes I need those "feelings" to be aroused too. It isn't just seeing tits and ass that gets me rock solid. I need a little more than the average joe. She is cool, and fun to be around, but my sexual desires are damn near fucking insatiable.

Crazy dirty Sams I ams...

Posted by wineaux

Posted by RealTalk
Hell 2 da no...I'm sorry. If a guy doesn't dine on southern cuisine, that's a deal-breaker. If he's packing lumber and can't use it, that's a deal-breaker. If he has a vienna sausage, that's a deal-breaker. If I don't get wet, that's a deal-breaker. If he doesn't 4-play the shit out of me, that's a dealbreaker.

imprettysureijustwetmypants. hilarious. and true.

@daljip69: damn, when i saw this i was like...please don't tell me this is about them gem! and then i read further and it is. i'm curious to what it is that you are missing?? you (crabs) are incredibly in tuned with your partner's wants and needs...you just seem to 'know.' i do know however that sex is very much an emotional, tender experience with you guys and not just a means to an end.

i don't see this as a sun sign problem though as my crab and i have ridiculous chemistry & sex, it sounds like it's more fundamental. my (ex) scorp and i were like that. good became meh became none. i basically gave up on even trying as it was like sleeping with melba toast, stale, flavorless and boring as hell.

before you give up, try some role playing or experimentation? we all want to be able to read each other's minds, but it's close to impossible unless you're kreskin. have you been 'vocal' about what you like? i.e. oh yeah (gem) that's it. don't stop. a little to the left. i love it when you (insert fabulously dirty something here). as a gem i can't stand routine. i'm always on the hunt for something new to bring to the bedroom, and i'm not talking about swings and rubber sheets, but new techniques and spins on old tricks. make it a game for her - we love challenges. oh, and talk to her...we need to be mentally stimulated as well as physically in the bed. that might help too.

click to expand

I would kill for a little shot of the emotional shit that comes from a Scorpio because that is all I would need...Scorpios give a crazy potent emotional vibe...though the only sexual encounter I have had with one was brief...somehow I offended her several times...even said I wanted sex too much, which was a first for me.

"offended" not so much in the bedroom, more like a day to day thing. The bedroom had some crazy spice...which is the "miss" worthy part for sure.

I'd say be with someone more geared to your particular needs. Over time ( it's worrisome now, yes? Yes. ) it will cease to be a pondering and more a burden. Like it or not, sexual needs to be fulfilled by the one we call partner. And yes explore avenues and so on, but if it isn't there now, it won't be in future. Even if she swings from the chandelier in a Jungle Jane outfit with a cork up her arse to land daintily at your feet. Real talk. Really real no blowing smoke up your tailpipe speech.

private use only

^ YEP.