Constructive Criticism

In the last couple/few years I've become more aware that I don't handle constructive criticism very well. Is this a Sag thing? Or is this just a personality/maturity thing?

I've been on this whole self-awareness/knowledge/growth kick the last year or two. Just curious as to what you other Sags think. 😄 Also, anyone else who wants to chime it - do it respectfully please! 🙂

Posted by sagoya
Lol.. it kinda depends on the delivery.. i like brutal honesty but not when it attacks me.. a mixture of, i like this this this but i think it would be better if you......

But if anyone attack me, regardless how good that critic is..my entj mind kicks in.. it's going to be a loooonnnggg debate, son :-)

Lmao @ the long debate.... yup, better bring that a-game

Posted by Areyoumytwinflame
Are you an NF personality type? Because we don't like criticism

Yes I'm an ENFP.

Posted by Areyoumytwinflame

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by Areyoumytwinflame
Are you an NF personality type? Because we don't like criticism

Yes I'm an ENFP.

There you go

click to expand

Huh, I'll have to look into it more. Thx!

Posted by sagoya
Lol.. it kinda depends on the delivery.. i like brutal honesty but not when it attacks me.. a mixture of, i like this this this but i think it would be better if you......

But if anyone attack me, regardless how good that critic is..my entj mind kicks in.. it's going to be a loooonnnggg debate, son :-)

Yeah I suppose I'm the same way...on the delivery thing. I notice that I tend to react to the tone moreso than the actual criticism...lol at the debate!

Very few, if any, people can handle criticism ... after all, every person believes they are the model of normal and right, and all gauging of others stems from the self being right. So, it's hardly possible to believe that someone else is capable of seeing you in error.

As for the delivery ...... since you're likely talking about texting, fb or a forum, then your comment about tone flies out of the window to have no merit.

Posted by P-Angel
Very few, if any, people can handle criticism ... after all, every person believes they are the model of normal and right, and all gauging of others stems from the self being right. So, it's hardly possible to believe that someone else is capable of seeing you in error.

As for the delivery ...... since you're likely talking about texting, fb or a forum, then your comment about tone flies out of the window to have no merit.

Actually no I'm talking about face to face criticism.

I understand everyone's got an opinion, and if I'm F-ing up, making mistakes I totally wanna know it so I can make the changes needed. But when someone is being hyper critical I tend to wall up and become very stubborn and pissy.

If they explain it to me and it's coming from a genuine place and I can see the value in it then yes I understand that sometimes you need to take criticism. But for the most part I see a pattern in myself that I don't take it very well and I'm just curious about it.

Posted by CuddleBug88

...on the delivery thing. I notice that I tend to react to the tone moreso than the actual criticism...

How intolerant ... it's your whole generation, actually.

People communicate differently ..... if you have no intentions of understanding that, then you're not on a path of self awareness at all.

If you have no intentions of understanding the other persons intent, and only interested in hearing what you want to hear .... then you are on a path of ignorance.

But what really stands out in my mind with this is ...... that it's so often for you to get criticized that it has become an issue to discuss. Most people don't get criticized that often.

So, then the real question becomes: Why do you invoke people's criticism of you this much?



Maybe you should listen, maybe there is something for you to know.

Posted by CuddleBug88

I tend to wall up and become very stubborn and pissy.

If they explain it to me and it's coming from a genuine place and I can see the value in it

That's your bad, in that you refuse to listen because your ego can't handle it.

You aren't capable of realizing whether it comes from a genuine place because you don't know their intentions. If you knew their intentions before hand then this wouldn't be a discussion ... so, the point is, you don't know. Yet, here you say "genuine" to excuse yourself from not accepting what someone else has to say to you, if you don't like it.



the utter intolerance of millennials ...



Anyway, so there you go .... another criticism from me in telling you that you stagnate yourself and your growth by refusing to listen to someone who might have something valuable to tell you, merely because your ego can't handle that they might communicate differently than you.

@P-Angel

I didn't say how often this occurs. You made that assumption on your own. It doesn't happen all the time like you said - it rarely happens actually. I was just wanting to talk about something that would help me grow as a person.

I know people communicate differently - the world would be so boring if everyone spoke the same, said the same things, thought the same thoughts, etc. I love talking to others and seeing where they come from. There's a difference between constructive criticism and being hypercritical that's what I was getting at with the whole "listening to them and seeing if their genuine." Most humans can feel when someone's being genuine and when they're not - it's instincts.

Anywho, have a lovely day! Thanks for the discussion! 🙂

Posted by CuddleBug88

I didn't say how often this occurs. You made that assumption on your own.

Of course, you didn't say it ... do you actually believe I cannot read?

lol ... so you come back with that?

For it to be an issue for you, in that you feel you have to analyze it, and discuss it means that it happens often enough for you to be this issue.

It's doubtful that it rarely happens. I'm certain that is just a come back from you to try and save face. A person who wants to grow as an individual doesn't address made up shit.



rflmao



You missed the point about genuine ... or you got it and again just trying to save face.

If you "can feel" when someone is genuine because it's your instinct .. then you wouldn't have to have this discussion. Is that really that difficult of a concept for you to get?

Constructive criticism vs hypercritical is all just you making the decision that you don't like, or do like what you hear and so making the choice the label it .... because again, you're not capable of knowing their intent. they could be the nastiest person in the world, and have good intentions. you don't know that.



you'll never know that .. unless you are able to walk in their shoes .. which you can't



just like .. someone could give be as sweet as apple pie and have malicious intent.



seriously ...... you don't know this already?



You can't judge if someone is genuine by instincts. If people could, then all of this bullshit in dxp, and everywhere wouldn't exist because we all would be in the know immediately.



Stop retarding yourself, and actually have that open mind that you are trying to sell

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by CuddleBug88

I didn't say how often this occurs. You made that assumption on your own.

Of course, you didn't say it ... do you actually believe I cannot read?

lol ... so you come back with that?

For it to be an issue for you, in that you feel you have to analyze it, and discuss it means that it happens often enough for you to be this issue.

It's doubtful that it rarely happens. I'm certain that is just a come back from you to try and save face. A person who wants to grow as an individual doesn't address made up shit.



rflmao



You missed the point about genuine ... or you got it and again just trying to save face.

If you "can feel" when someone is genuine because it's your instinct .. then you wouldn't have to have this discussion. Is that really that difficult of a concept for you to get?

Constructive criticism vs hypercritical is all just you making the decision that you don't like, or do like what you hear and so making the choice the label it .... because again, you're not capable of knowing their intent. they could be the nastiest person in the world, and have good intentions. you don't know that.



you'll never know that .. unless you are able to walk in their shoes .. which you can't



just like .. someone could give be as sweet as apple pie and have malicious intent.



seriously ...... you don't know this already?



You can't judge if someone is genuine by instincts. If people could, then all of this bullshit in dxp, and everywhere wouldn't exist because we all would be in the know immediately.



Stop retarding yourself, and actually have that open mind that you are trying to sell

click to expand

Cool beans.

Posted by CuddleBug88
... criticism ... self-awareness/knowledge/growth ... wants to chime it ...

I've read with my own eyes in different places about Cats (Chinese horoscope), Pisces Moon and Sagittarius that they get killed by critisism. And I have all these three things. ENFP last time tested. two months ago.

also my Mercury, Mars and Venus are out of bounds. so what do they want to teach me? I'm supposed to be over the top anyway. not to forget Uranus aspects on Sun, Mercury and Mc.

third: my head is full of self-criticism. others should go stand in the queue and wait until it's their turn.

Idk if it counts but apparently I have a lot of Sag energy. I love receiving constructive criticism. In fact, I get very upset when people don't tell me what it is about me that unsettles them if anything. And I love it more when people are raw and direct. I'm an INTJ tho. NFs suck ?

Posted by SassyKiwi

I love receiving constructive criticism. In fact, I get very upset when people don't tell me what it is about me that unsettles them if anything. And I love it more when people are raw and direct.

You described me. And I will be just as raw and direct forward.

I don't have Sag energy in my chart, though.



Lay it on me. If you beat around the bush, or fail to say it because your feelings can't handle it ... then I'll turn into a beast. Tell me, goddam it !!!

Posted by CuddleBug88
In the last couple/few years I've become more aware that I don't handle constructive criticism very well. Is this a Sag thing? Or is this just a personality/maturity thing?

I've been on this whole self-awareness/knowledge/growth kick the last year or two. Just curious as to what you other Sags think. 😄 Also, anyone else who wants to chime it - do it respectfully please! 🙂

I love criticism... Not only for what it does for improvement but, mostly what it tells me about the person criticizing... ?

I keep a positive attitude during criticism as they inadvertently spill their guts.

Posted by VenusAquarius
... tells me about the person criticizing... ?

...

that was good.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by SassyKiwi

I love receiving constructive criticism. In fact, I get very upset when people don't tell me what it is about me that unsettles them if anything. And I love it more when people are raw and direct.

You described me. And I will be just as raw and direct forward.

I don't have Sag energy in my chart, though.



Lay it on me. If you beat around the bush, or fail to say it because your feelings can't handle it ... then I'll turn into a beast. Tell me, goddam it !!!

click to expand

Happy Belated Birthday P-Angel!!! What's your MBTI?

I don't know what it means, but, here's the results ....



Mind - Introverted 71%

Energy - Observant 62%

Nature - Thinking 58%

Tactics - Judging 67%

Identity - Assertive 77%



Logistician ISTJ-A

Constructive criticism is always appreciated! It's a disservice to not help me.

Posted by notsosure
In short: help me, yes! Judge me, no.

Saaaame!

Posted by Whatthehell
Sweet looking young woman starts a thread asking for constructive criticism about the fact that she can't handle constructive criticism...

Nope, sweetie, I can't read this one. It's bound to be full of cringe. Good luck!

It was meant to be more of a discussion about constructive criticism vs hypercritical observations - I made the thread after a couple beers and was tipsy. Wrong wording, bad topic, whatevs. I still enjoy reading why people have to say. 🙂 lol.