Isolated

I have work at this company for 4 years and the more people I get close to here the more friends I have lost. Things always changed and I just rolled with it because I am a sag and that's what we do.

The latest friends lost have formed such a bond with each other that I??ve been pushed out. Maybe because of the better personality match they have with each other.

(We have been so close in the past I mean very close and then one day it just changed)

But today I have to say they made plans with each other and hid it from me so that they wouldn't have to feel guilty of not wanting me to go with.

I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they have to manipulate a situation so that they could get away with from facing me directly.

I have kept my distance with them only sharing general stuff. However there is the feeling of isolation or exclusion. I don't want to be included in other people's plans if they don't want me to be.

Also, I work very closely with these ladies. Don't want there to be any weirdness. Working with women is very dangerous for your career!

Lucky you Clair.

But i don't dislike them at all just worried. i don't want to end up looking unprofessional. That's what I mean. That's why I just play like i don't even notice, but I see everything and i have great instinct.

I don't want to leave a reputation here. I would like to use this place as a reference one day. 😉

But if you leave a stain like you can't get along with others it makes you look real bad as a woman.

I would just keep acting aloof, but remain very friendly.
Definately don't get involved in any kind of drama.

Briana:
Wouldnt that mean putting up a false pretense..by 'trying' to act aloof?
I admit we all do it....but i hate that we do it.

"Can you just ask them what the problem is and maybe then try to resolve it? "

Well i tried once and it was not pretty and that's were the wierdness began.

It's not false to remain positive and aloof. It is keeping the peace for the sake of your career. I wouldn't want my boss to think I don't work hard and that I'm just worried about the other women in my group.

I read that if your are a hard worker and you are not very well liked that it does weigh on you with your boss. People like a team player not a hard ass.

Posted by Archer

as for the reference,, such things are mostly routine and if you are doing good work then there is no reason to worry, just chill,, :=)

she's right. listen to her.

Posted by brianafay
I would just keep acting aloof, but remain very friendly.
Definately don't get involved in any kind of drama.

good advice. you need to look at it all from a distance. and in a few months everything has changed.

Posted by WinterBorn
Being recognized as a dependable hard worker holds more weight with future employers than being known as someone who gets along with the girls after work, IMO.

correct.
in business first of all your all in all strength is requested.
the administration knows always there are all kinds of people at workplace with different impact on grouping.
btw the grouping process goes through many changes too. no form is forever.

Posted by Clair De Lune
Yeah I know what you mean, I have been in that situation and it's really hard...Can you just ask them what the problem is and maybe then try to resolve it?

I was several times in such situation. the solution is really simple.
- Be yourself,
- do your job,
- talk first to the weakest in the link,
- don't act as if you need to be the star of the big group,
- respect qualities of those who have the leadership but
- never change yourself cause some people are jelous of you or more conservative than you.

Posted by SageTree
..the more friends I have lost...

The latest friends lost have formed such a bond with each other that I??ve been pushed out...

...so that they wouldn't have to feel guilty of not wanting me to go with.

...feeling of isolation or exclusion...Working with women is very dangerous for your career!

you are in a negative phase of your life. Find the reason. did you lose someone?

Sure women are hard to handle. and Sags seem strange but look Geminis have theirs own reasons to be afraid, Scorps theirs, Aries, Virgos etc. If you really look every day every body is scared about her status, her life, her integration. you are not alone.

Posted by DwellingOnMove

Posted by Clair De Lune
Yeah I know what you mean, I have been in that situation and it's really hard...Can you just ask them what the problem is and maybe then try to resolve it?

I was several times in such situation. the solution is really simple.
- Be yourself,
- do your job,
- talk first to the weakest in the link,
- don't act as if you need to be the star of the big group,
- respect qualities of those who have the leadership but
- never change yourself cause some people are jelous of you or more conservative than you.

click to expand

I hear you that's what I've been doing lately and I think it's working it's self out. I really do appriciate all of the suggestions and help thanks.