Withdrawls.

Hey Ya'll,
By now, you all know about my Sag friend, Jesse. Eversince he switched to being an "insider", he's been sort of miserable and he would get frustrated from all the ringing of the phones and the heat from the ovens. Before he switched to being an insider, he told me, "Eh, now that I'm an insider, I'm going to get kinda weird." I kept that in mind and I thought it was gracious of him to tell me that. During those times, I just couldn't help wanting to share things with him, but it was hard seeing him all irritable, tired and zombie-like. I would sometimes have the thought crept in my mind that maybe I'm probably getting on his nerves. I didn't want to think like that anymore, so I gave him alittle space, but I still kept in touch with a "Good Morning" and "Good Night" text messages within the appropriate times of the day. Tell me, was it wise for me to step back the way I did? Also, how is it that the most "jovial" sign of the zodiac could be so proned to dark moods? He gets like that from time to time. The other day, when I went to talk to him while he was in the back of the store, I asked him how he was feeling,then he said of the insider position, "I just don't want to be here ever." Then our co-worker walked up and said, "What's up man!" Then Jesse briefly smiled and said, "Good, how are you?" If I hadn't known better, I would've been baffled. Maybe he was trying to cover up his dark mood.

Archer,
Sometimes I just really wish I wasn't so stupid when it comes to things like that.I'm afraid that I'm just going to screw up. I cannot help that dysfucntion gave me a "rocky past". I turned out okay, but everytime I get close to someone, it's like that's when all of my defects seems to rear it's head. Gawd, I really need to shape up. Enough about me, What about you? I know how you Saggies like to be productive and free so you haven't had time to PM me. So what's up? I've been thinking about ya.

Shut up? Why? That was getting pretty interesting. My natural self when Jesse first met me was "quiet and reserved". He used to do all sorts of crazy things to get my attention. He use to jump over tables and bang his head on the plexi-glass of the Coke cooler.(Laughs) Of my emotional side, he's very receptive to it and it doesn't scare him at all. I'm the one who holds back. On Christmas, when he suprised me, I held back on giving him a hug and so probably this year I won't get another one from him. At work, I act weird because I don't want anyone else to know how much Jesse means to me. If they knew that, they'll begin to look at him funny then he'll resent me for that, regardless of how I care about him. The last thing I want for him to do is to resent me.