OceanDeep
@OceanDeep
14 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 12 · Posts: 2004 · Topics: 22
Aqua Mooners: Forgive easily? Sun/Asc/Merc: Scorp
My planets in Sagittarius; Venus, Saturn are representative that I have worked past some
of the negative Scorpio traits. I very rarely hold grudges. I think this is also due to
the generosity of my Leo ascendant. Having Mars in the 3rd house can make me appear angry
in my communications, but it blows over fast. I have an inherently good nature. Maybe
my Aquarius Moon and Libra Mars and Jupiter help out in that department, too.
Paul
of the negative Scorpio traits. I very rarely hold grudges. I think this is also due to
the generosity of my Leo ascendant. Having Mars in the 3rd house can make me appear angry
in my communications, but it blows over fast. I have an inherently good nature. Maybe
my Aquarius Moon and Libra Mars and Jupiter help out in that department, too.
Paul
Thank you Paul! I really need help understanding some of this stuff. Of course, hindsight's 20/20. Almost like you need trial and error so after it all then you see things even more, but sometimes it comes too late. I think it may be in our case. I hope not though, he is someone important to me.
His Mars is Libra as well (venus too). (So maybe since you share that aspect as well, the Mars, you could help decipher where that plays in it too??) When you have convos that are too emotional for your likings or someone becomes too emotional, do you get to a point of had enough? You stand tall and strong, but after a bit enough is enough?? Like keep cool while the storm swirls around you, until it's "enough already"?? His last text I guess was very hurtful towards me. Personal attack it felt like. And last I heard from him, and so he said too that he was done with it all and he wouldn't be responding to anything more.
Kind of feel like a stand off.... he hasn't acknowledged my apology, nor my willingess for us to stay in one another's lives....and explained that I'm leaving him alone and should he want to reach out I'm here. So I want to respect him, and the fact I won't keep bothering him either...respect his space. But right now, crickets are chirping...been about four days since I sent my last attempt text.
Thank you for your help!
His Mars is Libra as well (venus too). (So maybe since you share that aspect as well, the Mars, you could help decipher where that plays in it too??) When you have convos that are too emotional for your likings or someone becomes too emotional, do you get to a point of had enough? You stand tall and strong, but after a bit enough is enough?? Like keep cool while the storm swirls around you, until it's "enough already"?? His last text I guess was very hurtful towards me. Personal attack it felt like. And last I heard from him, and so he said too that he was done with it all and he wouldn't be responding to anything more.
Kind of feel like a stand off.... he hasn't acknowledged my apology, nor my willingess for us to stay in one another's lives....and explained that I'm leaving him alone and should he want to reach out I'm here. So I want to respect him, and the fact I won't keep bothering him either...respect his space. But right now, crickets are chirping...been about four days since I sent my last attempt text.
Thank you for your help!
Are you saying that you feel you had conversations that touched on some raw nerve
for him and that that is what is causing him to not contact you?
Since he has Mars and Venus in Libra, then he has a strong desire to do what is right and fair.
You may have asked or said something that made him uneasy and defensive.
That is very easy to do to me, because I have a strong sense of pride and
defend it assiduously, but that is more related to my Leo Rising than my Sun in Scorpio.
If you talk to him, appeal to his sense of what is fair. In that context, he should at least
tell you why he is acting the way he is. As they say, "Experience is the professor who gives
the final exam first". Let me know.
Paul
for him and that that is what is causing him to not contact you?
Since he has Mars and Venus in Libra, then he has a strong desire to do what is right and fair.
You may have asked or said something that made him uneasy and defensive.
That is very easy to do to me, because I have a strong sense of pride and
defend it assiduously, but that is more related to my Leo Rising than my Sun in Scorpio.
If you talk to him, appeal to his sense of what is fair. In that context, he should at least
tell you why he is acting the way he is. As they say, "Experience is the professor who gives
the final exam first". Let me know.
Paul
Posted by Equator
Are you saying that you feel you had conversations that touched on some raw nerve
for him and that that is what is causing him to not contact you?
Since he has Mars and Venus in Libra, then he has a strong desire to do what is right and fair.
You may have asked or said something that made him uneasy and defensive.
That is very easy to do to me, because I have a strong sense of pride and
defend it assiduously, but that is more related to my Leo Rising than my Sun in Scorpio.
If you talk to him, appeal to his sense of what is fair. In that context, he should at least
tell you why he is acting the way he is. As they say, "Experience is the professor who gives
the final exam first". Let me know.
Paul
Yes, that is what I fear. That I said something that touched on some raw nerve. I think it started out to protect himself,from being hurt. Fight or flight. but I continued this conversation then thru a text, thinking we were conversing about it...ya know? From there forms grey areas. He then said like a final goodbye, and I was surprised because I thought we were tossing things around, ideas, solutions, etc.
When I read that goodbye I tried explaining myself and that I felt like maybe I had said more than I should have. This is when I had said that I never know what reaction I will get from him, and that I wish he would look more closely at who I am, and I was only expressing thoughts not decisions, and I had understood enough about him when we started talking that he has a hard time with tough convos but he says goodbye instead of figuring things out. Three text within 2 hours. That's when he blew, and said he was done with it all.
con't ....I feel like it was an emotional overload for him, and from the past when I do get too sensitive, and have admitted this to him before, that this was it. It had added up for him. I always said to him I appreciated his patience with me. It's not that I was pushing it with him to see what that limit was, or taking advantage of his good graces. I realize that within myself, but for him it may feel the opposite. And understandably. I realized this after I had time too to think about things more closely, remove myself from the sitution, and then next day expressed that to him as well, that I didn't blame him for having reached his limit. But his final text from the night before he said he was done responding, and it was like done done. Over. Stay out of my life kind of feeling.
I feel like at times if I do go more into myself as a person is when he shuts down. So when that happens, it really at times did feel our existence in each others lives was only superficial, surface only. If he asks, then fine. But if I offer more things about myself on my own, then it's not good.
Not that he doesn't have a right to feel the way he does, or what he feels like he shouldn't pull himself away. Because of course he does, ya know— I want to understand him more, and want to know these things so I can be a person in his life that is supportive of him, etc. And sometimes arguments or these types of things help make ppl understand one another more when they do happen. But what I sense is one of two things. He kept much of this to himself and wasn't honest in the past when he started feeling overloaded by me....which I admitted, and owned up to him about, and am working on that for myself....and then this was it the final straw, and why I feel it came out of left field. Or, I hit the raw nerve...like telling him about who he is or how I perceive him and he became defensive, and shot back something he knew would hurt me or make me feel questioned by him. Putting me in the same boat.
Regardless, I've heard nothing since that text. His last one. I'm a deep thinker (surprise surprise coming from a Cancer huh— LOL) So I do reflect, and really do see other's peoples sides. When I'm wrong, I fess up. I admit to it, and have no problems genuinely apologizing. And I did that over the next few days, a few texts to explain that to him. And I didn't expect a response, but I felt though too if he realized I was sincere, he would say "hey, I get it. Need some time
I feel like at times if I do go more into myself as a person is when he shuts down. So when that happens, it really at times did feel our existence in each others lives was only superficial, surface only. If he asks, then fine. But if I offer more things about myself on my own, then it's not good.
Not that he doesn't have a right to feel the way he does, or what he feels like he shouldn't pull himself away. Because of course he does, ya know— I want to understand him more, and want to know these things so I can be a person in his life that is supportive of him, etc. And sometimes arguments or these types of things help make ppl understand one another more when they do happen. But what I sense is one of two things. He kept much of this to himself and wasn't honest in the past when he started feeling overloaded by me....which I admitted, and owned up to him about, and am working on that for myself....and then this was it the final straw, and why I feel it came out of left field. Or, I hit the raw nerve...like telling him about who he is or how I perceive him and he became defensive, and shot back something he knew would hurt me or make me feel questioned by him. Putting me in the same boat.
Regardless, I've heard nothing since that text. His last one. I'm a deep thinker (surprise surprise coming from a Cancer huh— LOL) So I do reflect, and really do see other's peoples sides. When I'm wrong, I fess up. I admit to it, and have no problems genuinely apologizing. And I did that over the next few days, a few texts to explain that to him. And I didn't expect a response, but I felt though too if he realized I was sincere, he would say "hey, I get it. Need some time
If someone issues a sincere apology ... like a real honest-to-God apology indicating they know exactly what they did that was wrong, and are genuinely sorry for it ... then I could forgive anything.
I have forgiven people without one, but a real apology is the true path to my ability to forgive.
So, forgive yes, but forget? Never.
I have forgiven people without one, but a real apology is the true path to my ability to forgive.
So, forgive yes, but forget? Never.
Posted by OceanDeep
What does someone have to do to piss you off to no return?
And would you portray yourself as pissed, but defense out of being hurt all to protect yourself.
And permantly cut ppl out with no looking back. ---->What can one do to get you to come around after youve been given a heartfelt apology?
Thanks! BTW, my Mars is in Aqua so you'd think Id get the detachment, or it would mesh. Apparently not— Bluemoon's help too?!
First question: someone would have to betray my trust in a big way ... like a way that would harm my security, my health, my safety, my relationships, or my home/family/pets/ someone I loved. In a romantic relationship, cheating falls under this category. I put up with loads and loads of shit from my ex, but the moment I found out he was cheating? Boom ... Over ... Never looked back.
Second question: oh, yes, definitely.
Third: I have cut people out after they did #1. I answered before about "the heartfelt apology" and that usually does the trick for me. One element of the ideal apology is for the other person to REALLY indicate they know EXACTLY what they did to betray me, and why it was such a violation, and how it harmed me, and that they will never ... everrrrrr ... even for one nanosecond ...... consider doing it again.
Everyone is different of course, and I don't know what the situation was, or what other factors are in play with your guy, but that's some general feedback from this Scorpio with Aqua moon. Hope it helps.
hi od 🙂 is this the scorp u fell for? did u speak in anger? or was it derived in truth?
so to answer ur question only if the person had not meant something to me prior to passing judgement or speaking out of line would I not forgive...due to not caring enough in the first place to even consider what was said...
as for actually listening to what was said & perhaps taking it to heart...where feelings r involved with someone yes, I can forgive but it would require an explanation as well as an apology.
also regarding truth...it means a lot to me no matter where it comes from
so to answer ur question only if the person had not meant something to me prior to passing judgement or speaking out of line would I not forgive...due to not caring enough in the first place to even consider what was said...
as for actually listening to what was said & perhaps taking it to heart...where feelings r involved with someone yes, I can forgive but it would require an explanation as well as an apology.
also regarding truth...it means a lot to me no matter where it comes from
Thank you AutumnalChick, you've given me things to think about.
To respond to your breakdowns of my questions, there was no cheating and as betrayal of trust I don't believe it would be considered that ... only possibly, because of feeling overwhelmed or let down by me in a sense it could be felt like betrayal. But that is how I would feel, not sure about him. But that is speculation because again, I only know what he told me and when he did, boom it was done. That's what makes me wonder if he was more hurt than mad.
The apology is two parts. But to start from the end, the reason he blew was over something I already had apologized two days prior and on my own. This is without even having a hint it was bothering him, but something I recognized I was doing that wasnt fair to him. He apologized to me at the same time because he said too he would be pissed and angry if he were me, or confused and understood where I was coming from. I still felt bad because I felt I had become too emotional/dramatic/etc., and apologized acknowledging this. He never said anything that it made him feel overwhelmed or bad. I know he felt bad that I had become upset, but I didn't realize it upset him-him, like 'f*ck bitch", or frustrated with me, etc.
Fast forward two days later, I'm completely oblivious to this still, but during this what I feel was a 'too much of a heavy convo for him' and me apologizing again and trying to explain some things off topic, is when he said it makes him-him feel bad. I found it strange because we had a convo about it two days before, why he didn't say it then. Why he said he understood where I was coming from, AND I had apologized two days prior...So I was left feeling like he was somehow using this as his way to control or get things the way he wanted between us. It was seriously like 'this is news to me'...I didn't say that to him though.
When he said his goodbye, like "so long farewell", I sent a few more texts explaining things more, feeling like I had said too much and was at a loss, ....that's when he blew using the same reasoning that only a few hours before was the first he had said it even bothered him. And then said some things I felt were a personal attack about the things I had been opening up about during this 'convo'. I felt sideblinded. And quite honestly, like I couldn't trust him...I trusted him enough telling him these things, and then he 'used it against' me to personally attack me as a person.
To respond to your breakdowns of my questions, there was no cheating and as betrayal of trust I don't believe it would be considered that ... only possibly, because of feeling overwhelmed or let down by me in a sense it could be felt like betrayal. But that is how I would feel, not sure about him. But that is speculation because again, I only know what he told me and when he did, boom it was done. That's what makes me wonder if he was more hurt than mad.
The apology is two parts. But to start from the end, the reason he blew was over something I already had apologized two days prior and on my own. This is without even having a hint it was bothering him, but something I recognized I was doing that wasnt fair to him. He apologized to me at the same time because he said too he would be pissed and angry if he were me, or confused and understood where I was coming from. I still felt bad because I felt I had become too emotional/dramatic/etc., and apologized acknowledging this. He never said anything that it made him feel overwhelmed or bad. I know he felt bad that I had become upset, but I didn't realize it upset him-him, like 'f*ck bitch", or frustrated with me, etc.
Fast forward two days later, I'm completely oblivious to this still, but during this what I feel was a 'too much of a heavy convo for him' and me apologizing again and trying to explain some things off topic, is when he said it makes him-him feel bad. I found it strange because we had a convo about it two days before, why he didn't say it then. Why he said he understood where I was coming from, AND I had apologized two days prior...So I was left feeling like he was somehow using this as his way to control or get things the way he wanted between us. It was seriously like 'this is news to me'...I didn't say that to him though.
When he said his goodbye, like "so long farewell", I sent a few more texts explaining things more, feeling like I had said too much and was at a loss, ....that's when he blew using the same reasoning that only a few hours before was the first he had said it even bothered him. And then said some things I felt were a personal attack about the things I had been opening up about during this 'convo'. I felt sideblinded. And quite honestly, like I couldn't trust him...I trusted him enough telling him these things, and then he 'used it against' me to personally attack me as a person.
Posted by OceanDeep
I sent a few more texts explaining things more, feeling like I had said too much and was at a loss, ....that's when he blew using the same reasoning that only a few hours before was the first he had said it even bothered him. And then said some things I felt were a personal attack about the things I had been opening up about during this 'convo'. I felt sideblinded. And quite honestly, like I couldn't trust him...I trusted him enough telling him these things, and then he 'used it against' me to personally attack me as a person.
Hm. Sounds like you have a right to be angry, too. Don't hold back from expressing your anger or hurt toward him with the feeling it will drive him further away. If he's anything like me he will respect those feelings. Besides, it's unhealthy in both communication and physically to suppress strong feelings.
Time for a real-life conversation, fuck texting.
If he won't grant you that then good riddance, he's not mature enough for a grownup relationship.
Hi eden2012 🙂 He was someone who we had a romantic interest in each other before, yes. The Scorp I posted about months ago. No, I did not speak in anger. I spoke out of hurt, when he had said goodbye... but I didn't say anything that was deragatory, slams, etc. What I said is that when he said goodbye it made me feel like I had said too much, and that I never know how he's going to respond and that I felt sideblinded. That I had already acknowledged I knew he had a hard time with tough convos, and that I wish he would have looked at things he knew about me more to realize I was thinking out loud, which I'd explained another time I do, and once I have it all out I feel better.
I have wondered too if I'm not someone really important to him. But I struggle with that because time and time again he has said he wants us to remain friends. I think I pushed his limit on things, which I understand and acknowledged to him after it was all said and done... this is where the sitting back and seeing things clearer came in even more. So I don't know if his silence is to 'teach me a lesson' because he was feeling overwhelmed by my 'babble' ... OR, if he cut himself out of my life completely.
He's dating someone and in the new stages, and not sure that it will go anywhere. I still want to respect that for both of their sakes, and we already had previously talked about that. So that base had been covered BUT the conversations were becoming more and more, and not less... so I told him I felt my feelings could be coming back, and I felt we were talking too much, and should I just cut ties with him completely to be fair to everyone involved. This is where I thought we were having a convo, just tossing things around. I said I was ready to start meeting people too....men. Its then that he said goodbye, is when then I felt I said too much, said I felt sideblinded that I trusted him to tell him these things without getting a bad reaction from him. This is when he blew, told me he had been busy and again in so many words bombarding his phone ... he assuming that my three texts were because i hadn't heard from him since his 'goodbye', told me to move on..basically from him was the tone, to find happiness, and he would not be responding to me anymore. And hasn't.
I have wondered too if I'm not someone really important to him. But I struggle with that because time and time again he has said he wants us to remain friends. I think I pushed his limit on things, which I understand and acknowledged to him after it was all said and done... this is where the sitting back and seeing things clearer came in even more. So I don't know if his silence is to 'teach me a lesson' because he was feeling overwhelmed by my 'babble' ... OR, if he cut himself out of my life completely.
He's dating someone and in the new stages, and not sure that it will go anywhere. I still want to respect that for both of their sakes, and we already had previously talked about that. So that base had been covered BUT the conversations were becoming more and more, and not less... so I told him I felt my feelings could be coming back, and I felt we were talking too much, and should I just cut ties with him completely to be fair to everyone involved. This is where I thought we were having a convo, just tossing things around. I said I was ready to start meeting people too....men. Its then that he said goodbye, is when then I felt I said too much, said I felt sideblinded that I trusted him to tell him these things without getting a bad reaction from him. This is when he blew, told me he had been busy and again in so many words bombarding his phone ... he assuming that my three texts were because i hadn't heard from him since his 'goodbye', told me to move on..basically from him was the tone, to find happiness, and he would not be responding to me anymore. And hasn't.
Posted by AutumnalChickPosted by OceanDeep
I sent a few more texts explaining things more, feeling like I had said too much and was at a loss, ....that's when he blew using the same reasoning that only a few hours before was the first he had said it even bothered him. And then said some things I felt were a personal attack about the things I had been opening up about during this 'convo'. I felt sideblinded. And quite honestly, like I couldn't trust him...I trusted him enough telling him these things, and then he 'used it against' me to personally attack me as a person.
Hm. Sounds like you have a right to be angry, too. Don't hold back from expressing your anger or hurt toward him with the feeling it will drive him further away. If he's anything like me he will respect those feelings. Besides, it's unhealthy in both communication and physically to suppress strong feelings.
Time for a real-life conversation, fuck texting.
If he won't grant you that then good riddance, he's not mature enough for a grownup relationship.click to expand
Well, I had asked for a truce the next day reminding him AND stating that we both had wanted to remain friends but both agree to cut back on our talking...from when the convo first started, before he blew.... and I respected if he needed time, but with the holidays coming I would hate for us to not be talking because he is my friend. And to please let me know if he knew without a doubt we would never work past this, then I would accept it, put it/him in my past, and leave him alone for good like he asked. I know it's heartfelt, he I'm sure coulda cared less or thought less. Deleted text possibly, but yet his curious wtf does she want would kick in, I dunno. No response.
The next day, I told him I was going to put him and this in my past, since I hadn't heard from him ...not knowing if it was because he thought we could work past it or that he said he wasn't going to respond........ but not close the door on him. If he wanted to ever reach out, I would gladly accept, that I realized already when we met back this summer what a good person and good man, and I valued him and what also what he brought to my life. Again heartfelt.Again, in response to my last text, nothing from him.
*crickets chirping*
And I know I'm serious, he probably thinks it's a ploy to
Cont.... to get him to come around. Or waiting for me to break down and text. But I can't, won't. Respect his space AND I said I was putting him in my past. And if I don't hear from him at Christmas, I must keep with my putting him in my past and not contact him either.
So does this constitute saying fuck him and good riddance— It's about as clear as a person can get without breaking down his door. He made me sound crazy with his last text, I don't need to prove it 😉 haha
So does this constitute saying fuck him and good riddance— It's about as clear as a person can get without breaking down his door. He made me sound crazy with his last text, I don't need to prove it 😉 haha
Another question, based on what I've read and observations of Scorps in my life.
Aqua moons tend to not be jealous nor condone/like jealousy, signs of it, etc. but if tendency in Scorps is/does/do. How does that work Scorps with Aqua moons? Do you feel any bit of jealousy, but don't show it? Feel indifference? What goes on inside vs. outside appearance?
Aqua moons tend to not be jealous nor condone/like jealousy, signs of it, etc. but if tendency in Scorps is/does/do. How does that work Scorps with Aqua moons? Do you feel any bit of jealousy, but don't show it? Feel indifference? What goes on inside vs. outside appearance?
Well, I can let it smoulder for days as I do two things: 1.)try to come to a better understanding
of the thing that made me jealous and 2.) try to calm down. I have to say that the feeling very
rarely does go away or even abate, and it usually ends in an argument or even breakup. So, the
Aquarius Moon helps me to distance myself from my feelings by being able to observe them, but the
fixity (constancy) and intensity of the Scorpio Sun usually wins out.
Like Autumn and Eden, I would be willing to consider an explanation and apology. Not so much an
apology as an explanation. (If she said she understood the psychological and sociological dynamics
of what took place and was willing to learn from it, that is what I am looking for.
If my mate flirts with someone, I will be angry. If she does it in public, assaulting not
only my heart and sense of "specialness" but my sense of pride, I will become quite enraged.
Luckily, though, my strong tendency is to flee and not to fight.
Paul
of the thing that made me jealous and 2.) try to calm down. I have to say that the feeling very
rarely does go away or even abate, and it usually ends in an argument or even breakup. So, the
Aquarius Moon helps me to distance myself from my feelings by being able to observe them, but the
fixity (constancy) and intensity of the Scorpio Sun usually wins out.
Like Autumn and Eden, I would be willing to consider an explanation and apology. Not so much an
apology as an explanation. (If she said she understood the psychological and sociological dynamics
of what took place and was willing to learn from it, that is what I am looking for.
If my mate flirts with someone, I will be angry. If she does it in public, assaulting not
only my heart and sense of "specialness" but my sense of pride, I will become quite enraged.
Luckily, though, my strong tendency is to flee and not to fight.
Paul
Thank you, Paul! You have me wondering something now, by your last sentence...you would rather flee than fight.
Understanding everyone is different, but again the focus towards this thread, brings me to something I have been tossing around and why I asked this new question.
I'm trying to not get into so many details...horrible tendency to do that...
Scenario: You liked someone whom you had previous romantic feelings for and have built over time a friendship with and keep in close contact with. But you are in the new beginnings of a relationship with someone else thus preventing you to pursue your friend, but you insist on keeping your friendship. They eventually tell you that although they care about you, and feelings are there, that they have to keep moving on with life because you were dating, etc. and that they feel they need to cut ties with you so that they CAN move on without you lurking in their thoughts, etc. because they want to begin dating, seeing people, etc.
Question: Would you become jealous (at all) or to a point of anger/or hurt and rather than fight, flee all to save yourself? Like "I'm with someone else, but I don't want to see you with someone else" Or be mad that they told you they want to date people? What would be your reaction, and would that be enough for you to blow up and say goodbye to keep you from being hurt ....or, your reaction is out of hurt?
I'm beginning to wonder if that's what happened in my situation.
Understanding everyone is different, but again the focus towards this thread, brings me to something I have been tossing around and why I asked this new question.
I'm trying to not get into so many details...horrible tendency to do that...
Scenario: You liked someone whom you had previous romantic feelings for and have built over time a friendship with and keep in close contact with. But you are in the new beginnings of a relationship with someone else thus preventing you to pursue your friend, but you insist on keeping your friendship. They eventually tell you that although they care about you, and feelings are there, that they have to keep moving on with life because you were dating, etc. and that they feel they need to cut ties with you so that they CAN move on without you lurking in their thoughts, etc. because they want to begin dating, seeing people, etc.
Question: Would you become jealous (at all) or to a point of anger/or hurt and rather than fight, flee all to save yourself? Like "I'm with someone else, but I don't want to see you with someone else" Or be mad that they told you they want to date people? What would be your reaction, and would that be enough for you to blow up and say goodbye to keep you from being hurt ....or, your reaction is out of hurt?
I'm beginning to wonder if that's what happened in my situation.
Ocean, I am not a control freak, but I have a really hard time with "sharing" my mate,
even if it is with a male "friend" of hers. I could not conceive of going out for a
pizza with a female "buddy", instead of my mate, so I would not do it to her, either.
On the other hand, some people just get confused easily, and if they can not figure you
out or figure out the relationship, they just call it quits.
Sounds like you ran straight on into Scorpio jealousy.
Paul
even if it is with a male "friend" of hers. I could not conceive of going out for a
pizza with a female "buddy", instead of my mate, so I would not do it to her, either.
On the other hand, some people just get confused easily, and if they can not figure you
out or figure out the relationship, they just call it quits.
Sounds like you ran straight on into Scorpio jealousy.
Paul
Thank you again, Paul. That's what I was dreading. I don't get it though, he's dating someone. He straight out told me he couldnt say yes or no in renewing a romantic relationship with me in the future because of just having met her and wanting to get to know her. I totally get and understand that, respect that. I know myself too well to know I would go back and forth in wanting to be in his life still or not...making it harder, or more 'drama' so I figured it was best if we cut ties...at least for now. On my end, I wanted to get past feelings that were really coming back for him so that I could feel ready... no good for anyone if I'm still pining over him.
I didn't think he would be jealous, why would I?? He seemed like he was showing interest in me beyond friends, but it also is/was no secret he was seeing this gal so I didn't think I had to keep it a secret that I want to begin dating, etc. Its been months both since we dated a bit AND since I accepted any dates.
I think it's over. He's done, gone, no use, it nor me are not worth it...especially since he has this gal in his life now. All focus on her, which it should be. Still hurts though. I've heard nothing and it's been well over a week. I already promised us both I would put him in my past and if he ever wanted to reach out I would be here. It's Christmas, I can honestly say if I don't hear from him a part of my holiday will seem empty. No, it will feel empty.
I didn't think he would be jealous, why would I?? He seemed like he was showing interest in me beyond friends, but it also is/was no secret he was seeing this gal so I didn't think I had to keep it a secret that I want to begin dating, etc. Its been months both since we dated a bit AND since I accepted any dates.
I think it's over. He's done, gone, no use, it nor me are not worth it...especially since he has this gal in his life now. All focus on her, which it should be. Still hurts though. I've heard nothing and it's been well over a week. I already promised us both I would put him in my past and if he ever wanted to reach out I would be here. It's Christmas, I can honestly say if I don't hear from him a part of my holiday will seem empty. No, it will feel empty.
Posted by Equator
My planets in Sagittarius; Venus, Saturn are representative that I have worked past some
of the negative Scorpio traits. I very rarely hold grudges. I think this is also due to
the generosity of my Leo ascendant. Having Mars in the 3rd house can make me appear angry
in my communications, but it blows over fast. I have an inherently good nature. Maybe
my Aquarius Moon and Libra Mars and Jupiter help out in that department, too.
Paul
This thread could be helpful for me as well. I'll stick around to get some insight.
My scorpio sun/ aqua moon guy also has a leo ascendant and he rarely holds grudges. He's a very easy going guy, but that aqua moon in him makes him detach from emotions easily if he doesn't want to deal with something. Lucky. Wish I could do that, but I have a dang scorpio moon that makes emotions so intense I have to deal with them then and there.
Posted by Equator
Well, I can let it smoulder for days as I do two things: 1.)try to come to a better understanding
of the thing that made me jealous and 2.) try to calm down. I have to say that the feeling very
rarely does go away or even abate, and it usually ends in an argument or even breakup. So, the
Aquarius Moon helps me to distance myself from my feelings by being able to observe them, but the
fixity (constancy) and intensity of the Scorpio Sun usually wins out.
Like Autumn and Eden, I would be willing to consider an explanation and apology. Not so much an
apology as an explanation. (If she said she understood the psychological and sociological dynamics
of what took place and was willing to learn from it, that is what I am looking for.
If my mate flirts with someone, I will be angry. If she does it in public, assaulting not
only my heart and sense of "specialness" but my sense of pride, I will become quite enraged.
Luckily, though, my strong tendency is to flee and not to fight.
Paul
Wow, such a good piece of info here, and describes my scorpio very well when he is upset/jealous.
I have to leave him alone until he is ready to talk about it...or detach from the situation. Then when we talk about it he likes how I am able to break it down and try to understand his side. I enjoy analyzing the situation and figuring out why things happened the way they did. Then I confirm it with him. It helps us learn more about each other and fix problems we are having. I find that when you try to understand why the other person did what they did and explain your side as well it helps to better your communication and brings you closer.
Posted by happykitsunePosted by Equator
Well, I can let it smoulder for days as I do two things: 1.)try to come to a better understanding
of the thing that made me jealous and 2.) try to calm down. I have to say that the feeling very
rarely does go away or even abate, and it usually ends in an argument or even breakup. So, the
Aquarius Moon helps me to distance myself from my feelings by being able to observe them, but the
fixity (constancy) and intensity of the Scorpio Sun usually wins out.
Like Autumn and Eden, I would be willing to consider an explanation and apology. Not so much an
apology as an explanation. (If she said she understood the psychological and sociological dynamics
of what took place and was willing to learn from it, that is what I am looking for.
If my mate flirts with someone, I will be angry. If she does it in public, assaulting not
only my heart and sense of "specialness" but my sense of pride, I will become quite enraged.
Luckily, though, my strong tendency is to flee and not to fight.
Paul
Wow, such a good piece of info here, and describes my scorpio very well when he is upset/jealous.
I have to leave him alone until he is ready to talk about it...or detach from the situation. Then when we talk about it he likes how I am able to break it down and try to understand his side. I enjoy analyzing the situation and figuring out why things happened the way they did. Then I confirm it with him. It helps us learn more about each other and fix problems we are having. I find that when you try to understand why the other person did what they did and explain your side as well it helps to better your communication and brings you closer.click to expand
Exactly. And why I seriously am going, what?? I've always told him and he has said, there is nothing I can't talk to him about. He's always encouraged me to remain open and honest. So with this, and for it to go to where it is now in the snap of a finger? There's more behind this than what meets the eye. I just don't know what exactly, or enough to bet the bank on. Have my hunches, but seriously this one blows me away. But, I can't make him talk. Just silently remain patient and in the meantime keep moving on.
Posted by OceanDeepPosted by happykitsune
Wow, such a good piece of info here, and describes my scorpio very well when he is upset/jealous.
I have to leave him alone until he is ready to talk about it...or detach from the situation. Then when we talk about it he likes how I am able to break it down and try to understand his side. I enjoy analyzing the situation and figuring out why things happened the way they did. Then I confirm it with him. It helps us learn more about each other and fix problems we are having. I find that when you try to understand why the other person did what they did and explain your side as well it helps to better your communication and brings you closer.
Exactly. And why I seriously am going, what?? I've always told him and he has said, there is nothing I can't talk to him about. He's always encouraged me to remain open and honest. So with this, and for it to go to where it is now in the snap of a finger? There's more behind this than what meets the eye. I just don't know what exactly, or enough to bet the bank on. Have my hunches, but seriously this one blows me away. But, I can't make him talk. Just silently remain patient and in the meantime keep moving on.click to expand
Is there something going on with his career. I find that the times when my scorpio is the quietest is when something is going wrong at his job. Or maybe family matters?
Also, he may be experiencing health problems.
You should give your birth information and his in to an astrologer
and have him or her draw up a chart of the exact time and date and place
where you were when he broke up with you. It will probably give you
some insight.
Paul
You should give your birth information and his in to an astrologer
and have him or her draw up a chart of the exact time and date and place
where you were when he broke up with you. It will probably give you
some insight.
Paul
Good points happy and Paul. The one thing that I can say I did a "hmmmm, whaa, naw, weird" was that this summer when things ended...that week, when he told me, he was just done with his semester. And this time? Same thing, last night of classes to start his holiday break. I don't know about work, seems okay as did home. But this is one thing I can say. I know a lot about him, etc. from our previous talks when we first met and wanted to get to know each other, went on our date, etc. BUT, since then or I guess since we started talking this fall again, he is pretty much across the board on everything...everything is good, work is good, life is good, nothing shakes him up ... or, is it that he has things going on and doesn't share it. ... I go from Mr. Tell you All, to Mr. Wanna talk to you but nothing about me, just you Ocean.
I didn't realize you could study the stars in that type of way Paul. I did have a professional reading done, with both composite and synastry profiles and charts done. I think that in itself is why this is so hard. Our charts were off the top good, great...like meant to be together, which coincides with what we both said in the beginning, like we just knew we'd met the one.
I didn't realize you could study the stars in that type of way Paul. I did have a professional reading done, with both composite and synastry profiles and charts done. I think that in itself is why this is so hard. Our charts were off the top good, great...like meant to be together, which coincides with what we both said in the beginning, like we just knew we'd met the one.
Deep, did you have an actual synastry reading done by a competent astrologer?
It is important to do this, versus ordering a profile online.
If you did, and he or she told you there were no relationship challenges, then
that person was no a good astrologer.
Paul
It is important to do this, versus ordering a profile online.
If you did, and he or she told you there were no relationship challenges, then
that person was no a good astrologer.
Paul
No, it was a synastry/compatability chart...broke us down by individuals, and then put our charts together as a couple. Don't know about the competent part, as I don't know him LOL And no, there are areas that there will be struggles but overall a very strong relationship probablility and success. Some areas were crazy compatible, other areas lacked and where I could see too that might need work or filler so it wouldn't lead to problems.
Really weird reading it, but cool. Hit so many things right on the mark. I've read it a few times. Some of the things were like taking words and thoughts right out of my mouth ...and also things we thought/said to one another. When I first read it, some of the things didn't make sense, but as time progressed I did see things in those areas of us and understood then what was meant. Those were the areas of conflict or where trouble may arise or may be more prominent. But it doesn't matter really at this point. Does no good when there is only one willing participant wanting it. And that ain't him.
Really weird reading it, but cool. Hit so many things right on the mark. I've read it a few times. Some of the things were like taking words and thoughts right out of my mouth ...and also things we thought/said to one another. When I first read it, some of the things didn't make sense, but as time progressed I did see things in those areas of us and understood then what was meant. Those were the areas of conflict or where trouble may arise or may be more prominent. But it doesn't matter really at this point. Does no good when there is only one willing participant wanting it. And that ain't him.
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