aquamila
@aquamila
10 Years
Comments: 1 · Posts: 360 · Topics: 15
boyfriend being shady. help me understand
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I agree with both @maidemarilyn as well as @gob_shite...
Don't get me wrong. Some scorps are cool with intermingling. But I understand that because I am not one to intermingle friends/loved ones... but only because I have the fear that it will go terribly and they won't get along. (but when i do i find that it goes great.)
So yeah, maybe he's not ready.. and maybe he does get jealous and isn't keen on what your interactions would be like with his friends or maybe he's worried that you all won't get on well..
maybe ask him why he's not willing to try. maybe you guys can set up a dinner party or something so you're both more in control of the environment..
maybe ask him if there is a deeper reasoning for him not wanting to bring everyone together.
- of course, we cannot tell you if he is hiding something from you because we don't know him, nor have we lived thru your relationship... only you can find that out...
If you want to gain understanding all you can do is communicate with him authentically.
Don't get me wrong. Some scorps are cool with intermingling. But I understand that because I am not one to intermingle friends/loved ones... but only because I have the fear that it will go terribly and they won't get along. (but when i do i find that it goes great.)
So yeah, maybe he's not ready.. and maybe he does get jealous and isn't keen on what your interactions would be like with his friends or maybe he's worried that you all won't get on well..
maybe ask him why he's not willing to try. maybe you guys can set up a dinner party or something so you're both more in control of the environment..
maybe ask him if there is a deeper reasoning for him not wanting to bring everyone together.
- of course, we cannot tell you if he is hiding something from you because we don't know him, nor have we lived thru your relationship... only you can find that out...
If you want to gain understanding all you can do is communicate with him authentically.
thank you @goutte @Gob_Shite @Maidemarilyn for your answers. I should have mentioned that we've been together for three years and he has introduced me to his friends previously, before we moved to this city a year ago.
I have asked him for his real reasons on several occasions, and he said it's because he wants me all to himself and also because he is afraid of losing his new friends by bringing his girlfriend. He is also a really private kind of person, allowing no sign of our relationship on social media, and feeling way comfier at home than going out (especially when he's in a more antisocial mood).
All of that sounds quite plausible, but there is just something weird about downright avoiding any meet-up with his people. I once wanted to surprise him by picking him up after his lectures and waited in front of his uni, and he got really upset and asked me to never do that again unless I warned him...
It did happen before that he got really jealous after bringing me to a meet up with a few of his male friends in his old city, having found I laughed too much at the jokes of his friend... *sigh*
Assuming it is his jealousy, what possibly could I do to make him feel more comfortable having me intermingle with his friends, or even just introduce me on some occasion, so I at least I had an idea of what kind of people he's hanging out with? @goutte do you feel like this only at the beginning of a relationship? Is it abnormal for scorps like you to have a shared friend circle with your s/o? Because I really just want to share that part of life with him. I love seeing the fun, silly side of him when he's with his friends, it's such a treat seeing him let loose a little.
But not being able to understand why he doesn't take me out, I just start thinking he just doesn't want me there, is ashamed or feels like I would spoil the night ?
I have asked him for his real reasons on several occasions, and he said it's because he wants me all to himself and also because he is afraid of losing his new friends by bringing his girlfriend. He is also a really private kind of person, allowing no sign of our relationship on social media, and feeling way comfier at home than going out (especially when he's in a more antisocial mood).
All of that sounds quite plausible, but there is just something weird about downright avoiding any meet-up with his people. I once wanted to surprise him by picking him up after his lectures and waited in front of his uni, and he got really upset and asked me to never do that again unless I warned him...
It did happen before that he got really jealous after bringing me to a meet up with a few of his male friends in his old city, having found I laughed too much at the jokes of his friend... *sigh*
Assuming it is his jealousy, what possibly could I do to make him feel more comfortable having me intermingle with his friends, or even just introduce me on some occasion, so I at least I had an idea of what kind of people he's hanging out with? @goutte do you feel like this only at the beginning of a relationship? Is it abnormal for scorps like you to have a shared friend circle with your s/o? Because I really just want to share that part of life with him. I love seeing the fun, silly side of him when he's with his friends, it's such a treat seeing him let loose a little.
But not being able to understand why he doesn't take me out, I just start thinking he just doesn't want me there, is ashamed or feels like I would spoil the night ?
Three years is a long time for him to be hiding you. Does he hide you from his family as well?
Something is off......he sounds too controlling and is being unfair to you
Tackle him
Rugby style
🙂
Tackle him
Rugby style
🙂
Sounds like he is trying to control the relationship instead of working on his insecurities.
Regardless, don't think this will ever change until he stops being controlled by his fear and stops trying to use control to deal with his negative emotions.
Regardless, don't think this will ever change until he stops being controlled by his fear and stops trying to use control to deal with his negative emotions.
if you're here asking and wondering and can't figure out. you both are not compatible.
I actually just confronted him about all of this, asking him to call the problems by their names, instead of projecting his insecurities onto me.
He ended up agreeing, at least as much as a scorpio is capable of such thing, looking very defeated and regretful.
I don't think he is hiding anything but his own jealousy and control issues.
And of course, from what I wrote here we sound like an awful match, but it is worth saying that we have been in an overall wonderful relationship. I love him more than I could ever explain and I believe he loves me dearly as well. So this is definitely not a "should we break up?" post.
If he has issues that need to be worked through, i would feel it as my duty to help him through, as much as I can. But I was really struggling to understand his motives, the internal issues that he is trying to hide from me, and lastly, what I can do to help him.
He doesn't exactly hide me from anyone, and I am in fact extremely close to his family, and have been almost since the very beginning. But what he is doing, is giving me the signals that he really doesn't want me to be part of the company when he's out.
And maybe its very aquarius of me to say, but to me it just doesn't fit together.. If he loves me as he says, he would want me to be by his side at least some of the times he's out having fun.
He ended up agreeing, at least as much as a scorpio is capable of such thing, looking very defeated and regretful.
I don't think he is hiding anything but his own jealousy and control issues.
And of course, from what I wrote here we sound like an awful match, but it is worth saying that we have been in an overall wonderful relationship. I love him more than I could ever explain and I believe he loves me dearly as well. So this is definitely not a "should we break up?" post.
If he has issues that need to be worked through, i would feel it as my duty to help him through, as much as I can. But I was really struggling to understand his motives, the internal issues that he is trying to hide from me, and lastly, what I can do to help him.
He doesn't exactly hide me from anyone, and I am in fact extremely close to his family, and have been almost since the very beginning. But what he is doing, is giving me the signals that he really doesn't want me to be part of the company when he's out.
And maybe its very aquarius of me to say, but to me it just doesn't fit together.. If he loves me as he says, he would want me to be by his side at least some of the times he's out having fun.
Posted by aquamila
I actually just confronted him about all of this, asking him to call the problems by their names, instead of projecting his insecurities onto me.
He ended up agreeing, at least as much as a scorpio is capable of such thing, looking very defeated and regretful.
I don't think he is hiding anything but his own jealousy and control issues.
And of course, from what I wrote here we sound like an awful match, but it is worth saying that we have been in an overall wonderful relationship. I love him more than I could ever explain and I believe he loves me dearly as well. So this is definitely not a "should we break up?" post.
If he has issues that need to be worked through, i would feel it as my duty to help him through, as much as I can. But I was really struggling to understand his motives, the internal issues that he is trying to hide from me, and lastly, what I can do to help him.
He doesn't exactly hide me from anyone, and I am in fact extremely close to his family, and have been almost since the very beginning. But what he is doing, is giving me the signals that he really doesn't want me to be part of the company when he's out.
And maybe its very aquarius of me to say, but to me it just doesn't fit together.. If he loves me as he says, he would want me to be by his side at least some of the times he's out having fun.
need more info.
why does he get upset when you drop in on him unannounced?
are you suspicious of him?
and he may not trust you yet.
plus, there's the other factor, that he likes things prepared, he doesn't like surprises.
maybe you are too intrusive, always asking too many questions of him and are demanding.
that can also be annoying.
He's about to propose ??
Posted by -Flo-Posted by Whorpio
He's about to propose ??
No girl I doubt that lolclick to expand
Hey I'm just tryna make this girl happy so she quits complainin bout it. If that means lyin and tellin her what she wants to hear, so be it!!!
He's out every night tapping new pussy with his boys, aka wingmen.
Posted by -Flo-Surprise him with a visit. Be waiting in his dorm room/apartment late friday night and see what flavor of the week he's bringing home with him.
I find this odd.
My Scorpio ex was pretty extreme; jealous, controlling, secretly crazy, craved lots of attention and loving but he brought me around his friends within a couple of months. He even wanted me to meet his mom, who drove all the from Nola to Texas for a family gathering.
I never felt weird suspicion from him when we were dating, our relationship was forthright and honest. I would say our communication was also good but the controlling? Yeah I had to put a stop to that. Lord knows you can't control an aqua.
So I find with your Scorpio he's hiding something, he maybe living a second life at his uni with a second girlfriend, that his friends are aware about but they don't know that you're also his girlfriend. You need to check that quick.
Posted by -Flo-Posted by WhorpioPosted by -Flo-Posted by Whorpio
He's about to propose ??
No girl I doubt that lol
Hey I'm just tryna make this girl happy so she quits complainin bout it. If that means lyin and tellin her what she wants to hear, so be it!!!
She isn't complaining, she's asking for advice but weren't you asking advice about an aqua as well?
Don't throw this girl under the bus, she obviously loves him and they've been together for three years. Have some sympathy for once that doesn't just concern you.click to expand
Damn, okay.
Dating long distance in college is kinda a lost cause. I mean college is for hookups and orgies and experimentation.
Posted by -Flo-Posted by LadyNeptuneExactly this.Posted by -Flo-Surprise him with a visit. Be waiting in his dorm room/apartment late friday night and see what flavor of the week he's bringing home with him.
I find this odd.
My Scorpio ex was pretty extreme; jealous, controlling, secretly crazy, craved lots of attention and loving but he brought me around his friends within a couple of months. He even wanted me to meet his mom, who drove all the from Nola to Texas for a family gathering.
I never felt weird suspicion from him when we were dating, our relationship was forthright and honest. I would say our communication was also good but the controlling? Yeah I had to put a stop to that. Lord knows you can't control an aqua.
So I find with your Scorpio he's hiding something, he maybe living a second life at his uni with a second girlfriend, that his friends are aware about but they don't know that you're also his girlfriend. You need to check that quick.
I would pop up unexpectedly to Scorpios place a lot BUT he gave me a key.. so what does that say? Trust.click to expand
I would too
Posted by Gob_ShitePosted by Whorpio
Hey I'm just tryna make this girl happy so she quits complainin bout it. If that means lyin and tellin her what she wants to hear, so be it
That's cruel...click to expand
Hmmmm. Sorry I didn't read all the posts but just wanted to comment. I'm not a Scorpio either, just Scorpio Venus.
You guys are both in a new city right? And judging by your name, you're an Aqua?
Maybe he is a little insecure because you are a friendly Aqua. You know the types that flutter around like a butterfly being super friendly and nice. I can also see your attractive, so maybe he is insecure about you. He just wants to hang out with his new friends, without worrying about watching you and getting annoyed.
Are all these friends new? When you were in his home state, I'm sure he had those friends for years, so he had trust in them, which explains why you were able to meet them. But these new friends, if that's what they are, haven't proven that they can be trusted yet. Maybe he sees the way they are with women and doesn't want them around you. If they are the flirty type and joke around with others girlfriends. College is a big open sex game, with plenty of players. He may not want you around if he's unsure of how these men will act around you.
You guys are both in a new city right? And judging by your name, you're an Aqua?
Maybe he is a little insecure because you are a friendly Aqua. You know the types that flutter around like a butterfly being super friendly and nice. I can also see your attractive, so maybe he is insecure about you. He just wants to hang out with his new friends, without worrying about watching you and getting annoyed.
Are all these friends new? When you were in his home state, I'm sure he had those friends for years, so he had trust in them, which explains why you were able to meet them. But these new friends, if that's what they are, haven't proven that they can be trusted yet. Maybe he sees the way they are with women and doesn't want them around you. If they are the flirty type and joke around with others girlfriends. College is a big open sex game, with plenty of players. He may not want you around if he's unsure of how these men will act around you.
relationship george and independent george dont go well together somestimes...World's collide.
*sometimes
Posted by Gob_ShiteHe would feel safe around HER friends, it's his he could be worried about. lol If she's the typical Aqua that doesn't show jealousy, who cares how he acts around her friends, if they are women. I guess you can judge how he acts if she has guy friends but I don't think she would dealing with a Scorpio. At least not any she would hang out with, without him.Posted by saggurl88
Hmmmm. Sorry I didn't read all the posts but just wanted to comment. I'm not a Scorpio either, just Scorpio Venus.
You guys are both in a new city right? And judging by your name, you're an Aqua?
Maybe he is a little insecure because you are a friendly Aqua. You know the types that flutter around like a butterfly being super friendly and nice. I can also see your attractive, so maybe he is insecure about you. He just wants to hang out with his new friends, without worrying about watching you and getting annoyed.
Are all these friends new? When you were in his home state, I'm sure he had those friends for years, so he had trust in them, which explains why you were able to meet them. But these new friends, if that's what they are, haven't proven that they can be trusted yet. Maybe he sees the way they are with women and doesn't want them around you. If they are the flirty type and joke around with others girlfriends. College is a big open sex game, with plenty of players. He may not want you around if he's unsure of how these men will act around you.
That's why we need to know what he's like with her uni friends...
click to expand
Posted by Ellygantlol.Posted by tizianiWe'd never have any posts then. 😆 or at least missing a good 60-80% depending on the season lol.Posted by lisabethur8LOL the new rule of forums
if you're here asking and wondering and can't figure out. you both are not compatible.click to expand
OP what are his placements?
seems like maybe he does have some control and jealousy issues.
figure out why its so important for you to be apart of his friend group. like why does the fact that he isn't bringing you around his friends trigger these feelings for you... once you find out you may be able to let go of the need to hang out with him and his friends together. when that happens your reality changes and because there is no longer a need he may be willing to let you in then. Look at your part in this.
(and about surprising him.. mm well.. i dont necessarily like surprises either.. someone i was seeing showed up at my house without notice and i was not a fan of that. doesn't mean he's hiding anything tho.)
figure out why its so important for you to be apart of his friend group. like why does the fact that he isn't bringing you around his friends trigger these feelings for you... once you find out you may be able to let go of the need to hang out with him and his friends together. when that happens your reality changes and because there is no longer a need he may be willing to let you in then. Look at your part in this.
(and about surprising him.. mm well.. i dont necessarily like surprises either.. someone i was seeing showed up at my house without notice and i was not a fan of that. doesn't mean he's hiding anything tho.)
Posted by tiziani
He may just like to keep his life in separates boxes.
This.
Posted by EllygantPosted by tizianiYeah that's an air sign thing though.
He may just like to keep his life in separates boxes.
No water sign compartamentalizes like that, or at least is happy doing so. Not for a long term commitment. We are water. We want to flow freely. Even the airy-est scorps I know are like that.
He's definitely holding something back for some reason and it's likely not a good one.click to expand
Naw. I have to strongly disagree with all of this Elly, which doesn't happen often.
Actually skip my last comment. I don't see the point given the responses.
Something is up.. scorpios don't hide their girlfriends from their friends , at least not the ones I know ..plus it's been a whole year he's had to bring u around his friends .. hmm
Posted by saggurl88Thank you saggirl88 that actually sounds very legitimate. You see the problem is that this whole hiding me from his friends thing is so unlike him. I know he trusts me. We live together. Literally we've been having a wonderful relationship, and he's proved his love and devotion to me so many times. So it just doesn't make sense to me why he would block such an important step.
Hmmmm. Sorry I didn't read all the posts but just wanted to comment. I'm not a Scorpio either, just Scorpio Venus.
You guys are both in a new city right? And judging by your name, you're an Aqua?
Maybe he is a little insecure because you are a friendly Aqua. You know the types that flutter around like a butterfly being super friendly and nice. I can also see your attractive, so maybe he is insecure about you. He just wants to hang out with his new friends, without worrying about watching you and getting annoyed.
Are all these friends new? When you were in his home state, I'm sure he had those friends for years, so he had trust in them, which explains why you were able to meet them. But these new friends, if that's what they are, haven't proven that they can be trusted yet. Maybe he sees the way they are with women and doesn't want them around you. If they are the flirty type and joke around with others girlfriends. College is a big open sex game, with plenty of players. He may not want you around if he's unsure of how these men will act around you.
I really doubt it is directly linked to me. I think it's his past experiences, jealousy, fear of losing control and insecurities all together. And still it seems like there is a missing puzzle that I can't quite grasp.
I would like to believe that he is doing it for the sake of the relationship, protecting it in some way.
So I'll try to respond to all of your questions at once, hope I didn't miss anyone's. And thank you for all of your suggestions, I really appreciate it.
So I'll start with some background info. We've been in a ldr before we moved here together (city in Europe, not the US), where we've been sharing an apartment for one year now.
We've been through a lot together, including his doubts in the beginning when he had this little fling (he didn't cheat) which he also kept as a secret from me for weeks. I almost left him then, if he hadn't begged me for forgiveness and promised there would be no secrets between us anymore. He also confessed he made up his mind, and wants me by his side and to spend his life with me. We've talked about marrying before, although we really are still too young, but it's another proof that he is serious about me.
His placements are Pisces moon, scorpio mercury and venus, Virgo mars.
I wouldn't say I'm your typical aqua, not awfully social, earth and water dominant. But nevertheless I see a shared friend circle as something important for a relationship, and have made my own efforts to introduce him my friends. He was really rather shy and reserved around them, which is a pity because I would really like them to get along.
I don't have any male friends, and if there ever have been any acquaintances, they ended up not being worth my bf's jealousy.
So my conflict really stems from the fact that it doesn't add up. He definitely has no intention of cheating, he is definitely serious about me and the future of our relationship, and yet he doesn't want me around his friends.
So I'll start with some background info. We've been in a ldr before we moved here together (city in Europe, not the US), where we've been sharing an apartment for one year now.
We've been through a lot together, including his doubts in the beginning when he had this little fling (he didn't cheat) which he also kept as a secret from me for weeks. I almost left him then, if he hadn't begged me for forgiveness and promised there would be no secrets between us anymore. He also confessed he made up his mind, and wants me by his side and to spend his life with me. We've talked about marrying before, although we really are still too young, but it's another proof that he is serious about me.
His placements are Pisces moon, scorpio mercury and venus, Virgo mars.
I wouldn't say I'm your typical aqua, not awfully social, earth and water dominant. But nevertheless I see a shared friend circle as something important for a relationship, and have made my own efforts to introduce him my friends. He was really rather shy and reserved around them, which is a pity because I would really like them to get along.
I don't have any male friends, and if there ever have been any acquaintances, they ended up not being worth my bf's jealousy.
So my conflict really stems from the fact that it doesn't add up. He definitely has no intention of cheating, he is definitely serious about me and the future of our relationship, and yet he doesn't want me around his friends.
Posted by LordComplexity
I don't understand yo problem...
You datin slim shady, who could have a problem with dat?
Lots of women
Lol
Posted by aquamilaSorry to sound cynical, but saying he wants to marry you isn't proof of anything. Him wanting you to meet his friends, family, etc would be proof he is serious
So I'll try to respond to all of your questions at once, hope I didn't miss anyone's. And thank you for all of your suggestions, I really appreciate it.
So I'll start with some background info. We've been in a ldr before we moved here together (city in Europe, not the US), where we've been sharing an apartment for one year now.
We've been through a lot together, including his doubts in the beginning when he had this little fling (he didn't cheat) which he also kept as a secret from me for weeks. I almost left him then, if he hadn't begged me for forgiveness and promised there would be no secrets between us anymore. He also confessed he made up his mind, and wants me by his side and to spend his life with me. We've talked about marrying before, although we really are still too young, but it's another proof that he is serious about me.
His placements are Pisces moon, scorpio mercury and venus, Virgo mars.
I wouldn't say I'm your typical aqua, not awfully social, earth and water dominant. But nevertheless I see a shared friend circle as something important for a relationship, and have made my own efforts to introduce him my friends. He was really rather shy and reserved around them, which is a pity because I would really like them to get along.
I don't have any male friends, and if there ever have been any acquaintances, they ended up not being worth my bf's jealousy.
So my conflict really stems from the fact that it doesn't add up. He definitely has no intention of cheating, he is definitely serious about me and the future of our relationship, and yet he doesn't want me around his friends.
Posted by MyStarsShineYeah I get what you mean. But as I said before, he introduced me to his family very early on in the relationship. I am extremely close to them and his parents have practically accepted me as the daughter they never had. They would kill him if he hurt me.Posted by aquamilaSorry to sound cynical, but saying he wants to marry you isn't proof of anything. Him wanting you to meet his friends, family, etc would be proof he is serious
So I'll try to respond to all of your questions at once, hope I didn't miss anyone's. And thank you for all of your suggestions, I really appreciate it.
So I'll start with some background info. We've been in a ldr before we moved here together (city in Europe, not the US), where we've been sharing an apartment for one year now.
We've been through a lot together, including his doubts in the beginning when he had this little fling (he didn't cheat) which he also kept as a secret from me for weeks. I almost left him then, if he hadn't begged me for forgiveness and promised there would be no secrets between us anymore. He also confessed he made up his mind, and wants me by his side and to spend his life with me. We've talked about marrying before, although we really are still too young, but it's another proof that he is serious about me.
His placements are Pisces moon, scorpio mercury and venus, Virgo mars.
I wouldn't say I'm your typical aqua, not awfully social, earth and water dominant. But nevertheless I see a shared friend circle as something important for a relationship, and have made my own efforts to introduce him my friends. He was really rather shy and reserved around them, which is a pity because I would really like them to get along.
I don't have any male friends, and if there ever have been any acquaintances, they ended up not being worth my bf's jealousy.
So my conflict really stems from the fact that it doesn't add up. He definitely has no intention of cheating, he is definitely serious about me and the future of our relationship, and yet he doesn't want me around his friends.
click to expand
The issue is really only about his friends.
Posted by Gob_ShiteSurprised you remember 🙂 yes, I found out his exact birth time only recently from his mom.Posted by aquamila
His placements are Pisces moon, scorpio mercury and venus, Virgo mars.
Are you sure about that? A year ago, this Scorpio had an Aries moon and Sag Mercury.
Unless his TOB wasn't certain before...
click to expand
Posted by Blue_FroggieI see you guys did your research 😄Posted by aquamilaPosted by Gob_ShiteSurprised you remember 🙂 yes, I found out his exact birth time only recently from his mom.Posted by aquamila
His placements are Pisces moon, scorpio mercury and venus, Virgo mars.
Are you sure about that? A year ago, this Scorpio had an Aries moon and Sag Mercury.
Unless his TOB wasn't certain before...
I remember you and checked your history
His Saturn on your IC is playing a major role, very restrictive energy when manifested negatively.
click to expand
Could you expand on that? Restrictive energy towards me?
As for the Pisces moon, it makes sense to me. Especially since we moved to the new city, he's become way more introverted. I still get the feeling though, that he hasn't shown me parts of his piscean emotional world.
Posted by GonS
As a scorpio man, I'm shady as hell. I never like to initiate my gf to my friends. I like one-to-one relationships.
That's sort of the vibe I get from him as well. But why justify that with lazy excuses instead of just calling it by its name? Don't you think he's being a little unfair towards me? I made it clear to him that I don't intend to pressure him and that I do not wish to be an intruder in his friendships. I really only want to understand, so I can get over it and start accepting it or find a compromise.
He might be embarrassed by his friends. Or there's a girl in the group that he doesn't want you to meet for one reason or another.
Honestly there could be a lot of reasons. If you ask him to be completely honest with you and he doesn't give you a legitimate excuse, it's probably a girl. That's the number one thing guys hide from girlfriends.
Honestly there could be a lot of reasons. If you ask him to be completely honest with you and he doesn't give you a legitimate excuse, it's probably a girl. That's the number one thing guys hide from girlfriends.
What does be say when you ask him what is his problem with introducing you to his mates?
@blue_froggie so I checked and it's literally my Saturn on his IC and his on mine. So what does that mean?
Posted by GonSThis sounds a lot like him tbh. Thank you.Posted by aquamilaPosted by GonS
As a scorpio man, I'm shady as hell. I never like to initiate my gf to my friends. I like one-to-one relationships.
That's sort of the vibe I get from him as well. But why justify that with lazy excuses instead of just calling it by its name? Don't you think he's being a little unfair towards me? I made it clear to him that I don't intend to pressure him and that I do not wish to be an intruder in his friendships. I really only want to understand, so I can get over it and start accepting it or find a compromise.
Lazy excuses maybe translate as "if I call it by its name, you will start a fight, you're not gonna understand. So, let's avoid all this and find an easy way to cope with it".
Actually I like to keep things separate, because if GF doesn't like friends or friends don't like GF, I will have to hear all the critics I want to avoid and this is gonna destroy my serenity.
But it's not effective, and he has to be more flexible. I lost a GF once cause of this. She perceived it as being indifferent towards her.click to expand
I don't see it as being indifferent though I just literally hate shadiness/ when something isn't settled between us. I need clarity from him so I can work with it, otherwhise I just keep guessing and my assumptions tend to be more harsh on myself than him. E.g. maybe he's ashamed of me or he's afraid I'll ruin the chilled night-out with his friends...
Have you learned to cope with it in a healthy way yourself?
Posted by Blue_FroggieI'll have to do that later because I don't know how to attach images from my phonePosted by aquamilaCharts?
@blue_froggie so I checked and it's literally my Saturn on his IC and his on mine. So what does that mean?click to expand
Posted by Gob_Shite
I'm sorry but, if you're in a long-term relationship, you shouldn't be ashamed of introducing your SO to your circle of friends.
Even if he isn't being unfaithful, all the excuses given so far are ludicrous and indicative of a control freak...
But OP, I kind of understand you. It's not easy to see things for what they really are when you're young and have the same moon sign as your SO...
Yes i agree. I just generally would rather put my all into the relationship trying to work things out before I give up and end things. And I have my moon (and Venus) in Capricorn, my mars is in Pisces.
Posted by Blue_FroggieYes, the new birth time changes things. Don't feel obliged though lol, you've already been very helpful 🙂 go enjoy yourself ?Posted by Gob_ShitePosted by Blue_FroggiePosted by aquamilaCharts?
@blue_froggie so I checked and it's literally my Saturn on his IC and his on mine. So what does that mean?
Page 2 of her post history...
Wrong Tob for the guy, Gob_Shite... And it's weekend, I should start to go out instead of doing this silly thing 😢
click to expand
Posted by GonSPosted by aquamilaActually I consider what I do healthy. Sometimes overdemanding GF causes me rage, that I try not so show.Posted by GonSThis sounds a lot like him tbh. Thank you.Posted by aquamilaPosted by GonS
As a scorpio man, I'm shady as hell. I never like to initiate my gf to my friends. I like one-to-one relationships.
That's sort of the vibe I get from him as well. But why justify that with lazy excuses instead of just calling it by its name? Don't you think he's being a little unfair towards me? I made it clear to him that I don't intend to pressure him and that I do not wish to be an intruder in his friendships. I really only want to understand, so I can get over it and start accepting it or find a compromise.
Lazy excuses maybe translate as "if I call it by its name, you will start a fight, you're not gonna understand. So, let's avoid all this and find an easy way to cope with it".
Actually I like to keep things separate, because if GF doesn't like friends or friends don't like GF, I will have to hear all the critics I want to avoid and this is gonna destroy my serenity.
But it's not effective, and he has to be more flexible. I lost a GF once cause of this. She perceived it as being indifferent towards her.
I don't see it as being indifferent though I just literally hate shadiness/ when something isn't settled between us. I need clarity from him so I can work with it, otherwhise I just keep guessing and my assumptions tend to be more harsh on myself than him. E.g. maybe he's ashamed of me or he's afraid I'll ruin the chilled night-out with his friends...
Have you learned to cope with it in a healthy way yourself?
If he was ashamed of you he would use you only for sex.
Scorpio men are shady men. And shady means mysterious. Don't women appreciate that?click to expand
Actually, I am not the overdemanding type of girlfriend at all, and hate that he makes me feel like I am being one. I think it's very much a scorpio thing to hide their own insecurities behind the "faults" of others, when it's really something they should be working on.
And no, after three years of relationship, shadiness/mysteriousness is not cool anymore.
Posted by aquamilaWorst kind of Scorpio there isPosted by GonSPosted by aquamilaActually I consider what I do healthy. Sometimes overdemanding GF causes me rage, that I try not so show.Posted by GonSThis sounds a lot like him tbh. Thank you.Posted by aquamilaPosted by GonS
As a scorpio man, I'm shady as hell. I never like to initiate my gf to my friends. I like one-to-one relationships.
That's sort of the vibe I get from him as well. But why justify that with lazy excuses instead of just calling it by its name? Don't you think he's being a little unfair towards me? I made it clear to him that I don't intend to pressure him and that I do not wish to be an intruder in his friendships. I really only want to understand, so I can get over it and start accepting it or find a compromise.
Lazy excuses maybe translate as "if I call it by its name, you will start a fight, you're not gonna understand. So, let's avoid all this and find an easy way to cope with it".
Actually I like to keep things separate, because if GF doesn't like friends or friends don't like GF, I will have to hear all the critics I want to avoid and this is gonna destroy my serenity.
But it's not effective, and he has to be more flexible. I lost a GF once cause of this. She perceived it as being indifferent towards her.
I don't see it as being indifferent though I just literally hate shadiness/ when something isn't settled between us. I need clarity from him so I can work with it, otherwhise I just keep guessing and my assumptions tend to be more harsh on myself than him. E.g. maybe he's ashamed of me or he's afraid I'll ruin the chilled night-out with his friends...
Have you learned to cope with it in a healthy way yourself?
If he was ashamed of you he would use you only for sex.
Scorpio men are shady men. And shady means mysterious. Don't women appreciate that?
Actually, I am not the overdemanding type of girlfriend at all, and hate that he makes me feel like I am being one. I think it's very much a scorpio thing to hide their own insecurities behind the "faults" of others, when it's really something they should be working on.
And no, after three years of relationship, shadiness/mysteriousness is not cool anymore.
click to expand
so here's our synastry @Blue_Froggie and whoever else asked for it
and before anyone starts hating on it 😢 , I am very aware that we are no match made in astrological heaven, but we've crossed so many obstacles and are still together, and happily so, so that must mean something...
Does anyone know how to read this? @Gob_shite ?
Is your bf's chart up?
I only saw the synastry one
I only saw the synastry one
@MyStarsShine this is my bf's chart.
@Gob_shite thank you for the reading, that sounds quite dismal. When I tried to make sense of it, it was more positive aspects that caught my eye. But then again, you probably know more about it than I.
Posted by aquamilaMost of his planets are in the left side of the chart....giving introvert tendencies. He also has Chiron in the 11th which means his wound is related to groups of people .... friends being a part of that
@MyStarsShine this is my bf's chart.
@Gob_shite thank you for the reading, that sounds quite dismal. When I tried to make sense of it, it was more positive aspects that caught my eye. But then again, you probably know more about it than I.
Pluto in the 12th and a water moon....overly sensitive. He can be a bit of an escapist
Not an easy chart
he's a watery moon? pisces moon?
here are some guys (three guys here ) from the astrotheme i picked out...
what's your man look like...very baby faced?
josh peck
scorpio/pisces
he looks babyish.
he has a singularity aquarius mars, the rest of him is water dominant.
baptiste giaconi. (he doesn't really have a baby face cause he's capricorn dominant, and cancer.
scorpio mars.
and jonny lee miller when he was youngish. he has sharper features but a sweet face.
he has alot of Libra (stellium) he married 2x a gemini sun .
it's that libra stellium of his.
i think that if he's serious about you, water dominant or not, which your bf has alot of...
and he has virgo mars singularity? jeezzz...
he's anal too, doesn't like to be surprised.
dont try to do surprises on him, Virgo does NOT like that shit in my experience.
like dont pop up and surprise him at work. or at school.
it has nothing to do with you, it's just his own mind wanting order.
that aries saturn too..
they hate chaos. dont even think to bring your chaos in their vicinity.
it's good you are capricorn dominant, or else you wouldnt understand.
my father in law is double virgo, scorpio dominant, stellium... and he hates chaos.
he's with a gemini but she's taurus and cancer dominant. gemini sun is her only placement in air.
here are some guys (three guys here ) from the astrotheme i picked out...
what's your man look like...very baby faced?
josh peck
scorpio/pisces
he looks babyish.
he has a singularity aquarius mars, the rest of him is water dominant.
baptiste giaconi. (he doesn't really have a baby face cause he's capricorn dominant, and cancer.
scorpio mars.
and jonny lee miller when he was youngish. he has sharper features but a sweet face.
he has alot of Libra (stellium) he married 2x a gemini sun .
it's that libra stellium of his.
i think that if he's serious about you, water dominant or not, which your bf has alot of...
and he has virgo mars singularity? jeezzz...
he's anal too, doesn't like to be surprised.
dont try to do surprises on him, Virgo does NOT like that shit in my experience.
like dont pop up and surprise him at work. or at school.
it has nothing to do with you, it's just his own mind wanting order.
that aries saturn too..
they hate chaos. dont even think to bring your chaos in their vicinity.
it's good you are capricorn dominant, or else you wouldnt understand.
my father in law is double virgo, scorpio dominant, stellium... and he hates chaos.
he's with a gemini but she's taurus and cancer dominant. gemini sun is her only placement in air.
Posted by aquamilaHe's a Scorpio sun Pisces moon ? I'm still saying hmmmmm something is up .. might be wrong , hope I am lol
So I'll try to respond to all of your questions at once, hope I didn't miss anyone's. And thank you for all of your suggestions, I really appreciate it.
So I'll start with some background info. We've been in a ldr before we moved here together (city in Europe, not the US), where we've been sharing an apartment for one year now.
We've been through a lot together, including his doubts in the beginning when he had this little fling (he didn't cheat) which he also kept as a secret from me for weeks. I almost left him then, if he hadn't begged me for forgiveness and promised there would be no secrets between us anymore. He also confessed he made up his mind, and wants me by his side and to spend his life with me. We've talked about marrying before, although we really are still too young, but it's another proof that he is serious about me.
His placements are Pisces moon, scorpio mercury and venus, Virgo mars.
I wouldn't say I'm your typical aqua, not awfully social, earth and water dominant. But nevertheless I see a shared friend circle as something important for a relationship, and have made my own efforts to introduce him my friends. He was really rather shy and reserved around them, which is a pity because I would really like them to get along.
I don't have any male friends, and if there ever have been any acquaintances, they ended up not being worth my bf's jealousy.
So my conflict really stems from the fact that it doesn't add up. He definitely has no intention of cheating, he is definitely serious about me and the future of our relationship, and yet he doesn't want me around his friends.
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We are both studying, at different universities though and very different subjects - so naturally, we've built up separate friend circles since we moved here.
A year has passed, and he hasn't introduced me to his mates or colleagues even only once this entire year. And there have been plenty of opportunities, since he is also really involved in organizing events and stuff at his uni.
I really wouldn't like to feel like an intruder, especially when he's going out with the guys. But there definitely have been occasions where it would have been perfectly appropriate to bring one's girlfriend.
I also understand that he needs his alone time (so do I) and can't be with me 24/7, but once every blue moon I would like to share the evening with him and his or our friends...
The real problem is, that I really don't understand why, if you truly love a girl (which he swears), would you want to avoid your friends meeting her and vice versa. When I confronted him about it he said that he's not one to enjoy showing off his girl, that he wants me for himself, and then excuses like, I'll be busy there or you'll feel out of place etc etc
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