From honeymoon to honey trap?

Good evening scorpios and scorpio friends,

I'm a cancer in a relationship with a scorpio. My first scorpio ever. I don't even know any other scorpios, seriously. It must be a rare sign. 😉 (Well, my dad is cancer with his moon in scorpio).

Things with my scorpio have been wonderful, absolutely amazing and glorious! At least until recently.
Things have been so great that my scorpio has asked me to sublease my room for the summer and move in for 2 months. I didn't find someone for my room, but I merrily went on my way to stay with said scorpio. After a week I got slapped with the sentence "I think we have something truly great and special, but maybe we're moving too fast. I think we should take a few steps back.

Being the cancer I am, all I heard was "I don't want to be with you" and of course I bawled my eyes out. So I packed all my stuff, which was met with the question if I could just leave like that and never look back. After much back and forth and talking it all out, it turns out that the issue seemed to be me intruding into the safe/every-day space of my scorpio, which I could actually relate to because it stresses me out too when someone "intrudes" into my "cave". I'm usually more comfortable staying at other people's places than having them over at my place.
But even after talking it out I felt bummed and actually wanted to go back home.

The next day my scorpio took me out, which I didn't expect and tried to make the day special and have me enjoy it, even apologized for being a jerk. That night I was asked if I couldn't stay for the week and I (reluctantly) agreed. Things went back to normal, except that every day, even after long days at work, scorpio took me out, from expensive dinners to movies. A day before I left I was told —I think I might have freaked out and overreacted??. Still, I left and since I??ve been home (2 days now) we've texted every day. But no face to face contact, not even a call and the L word also hasn't been said since the incident. (I got an "I miss you" yesterday.) Scorpio had a pretty busy and stressful weekend, coming home late and pretty much passing out. Yet, this has never happened before. We have always talked first and then passed out, even after long days. Somehow I feel like I'm being drawn back in, yet pushed away. Which has cancer-me pretty much on edge.

lol
The slob is actually my scorpio. Not big into cleaning up, or cooking. Also snores every now and then, among some other habits that I somehow just got used to.
But I was really sick, after my scorpio passed it on to me and I wondered if that might have been "too much". Either way. Thanks for the insight.

I'm so polar opposite of Scorpio. And first fear is moving in with someone just because. I have my own and I'll be damn to move in with dating outside of the moving in. I've lived with my ex bff it wasn't fun and got stuck. Till I packed my shit and moved..smdh. if shit go down it is hard to just move. Lucky you were able to go back. So don't move in. Just get to know each other. And if you're compatible enough then talk about.

How long did you know him? And yeah I had someone say it's about jumping into a relationship and living together to find out if you're compatible. Shit if I say I can cook I shouldn't just move in because actions are louder than words, that's the impulsive shit I'm skeptical.. do you know it's torture for you and I to deal with stresa, drama, and baggage. It's no fun..

Be safe and cautious.. I'm fixed but you're a water sign might be different still take the time.. .

How long have you been together?

Thanks for the replies.
We've been together for 6 months now and it's never been like this (wishy washy) before. It's so far always been pretty straight forward, no matter what. Isn't it a bit late for cold feet? And if the feelings aren't there or aren't the same, why not just say so? When I asked if that's the case, I was told that this isn't the case. My scorpio values honesty, so why not just be honest about that? Instead the being spoiled with dates or date-nights every day began and I was told "You're my favorite person." (Whatever that means.)

You're right it's confusing. I want to give the benefit of a doubt, but I also don't know what I'm at right now.

http://scorpioland.org/understanding-scorpio-need-for-solitude-within-relationship/<BR>
I've came across this and it pretty much describes my current experience.

We talked it over on monday and when I asked what scorpio wanted (me to back off, or more space), I was told "I just want things to be 'normal'".
The past days we've texted all day every day, but I haven't dared to suggest to skype or call. (Damn fear of rejection). After I dared to say "I miss you" I got an "I miss you" in return, but to me back to normal looks different (right now there is barely any show of affection like pet names or the like). I know that there are other stressful things in S's life going on too, but we always had that special connection and I'm afraid of losing that.

Thanks Reincarnation.

The funny thing is that this is exactly how I am. I like to just be in the same room with someone, minding my own business.
The explanation I got was this: "There was a part of me that was happy to get back to what I was used to when you left. Coming home to an empty place, the thought of not having expectations on me (not saying you placed them, more my thoughts). I also know that when you are/were here, it was great. I love being with you laughing and just hanging, cuddling etc. And I had no issues except for those few days that were awkward. I was not feeling like myself. And that had nothing to do with you. More me thinking over things and being nervous about moving too fast. If those few days had not happened I things would be perfect. As they were before, nothing would have changed. I am worried and have been thinking, kinda like I said before, that these few days have left me wondering why I felt that way. I've invited you to basically live with me for a month and a half. I felt a little overwhelmed. And I take the blame for that. And the convo that followed. And I felt horrible at how that went.I guess once it wasn't just "fun and games" I got nervous. There's deep feelings and expectations involved. Which I didn't really think about. I was just going with the flow. And all was good. There weren't any issues."

Even though we are still communicating, I feel that it's becoming less and less affectionate and I'm just too afraid of the implications to even ask.

Thanks for the feedback Arielle83

I got an extensive apology last night, including an explanation as to what was going on in scorpio's mind when "getting nervous" and now it's all back to "lovey-dovey" and lot's of attention that I need to adjust to again. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy. But I also feel like I was hit by a tornado.

Now it's back to being cold and ignoring.

Posted by reddress
Now it's back to being cold and ignoring.

Give this relationship at least a couple of months before taking any decision. After that you'll know where you stand

Thanks for all the advice.

I think you just don't show someone that you're sorry for "having acted like a jerk" (sic scorpio) by acting resentful and ignoring. During the fit of "we're moving too fast" I've broken down and at some point said that maybe scorpio has never been that into the relationship, since it's always me coming out to scorpios place, but never the other way around.
After talking everything out scorp has offered to come to my place this weekend. On thursday then I was told that scorpio was broke and wouldn't manage to come out after all and that we had to postpone to the weekend after. I'm a grad too, so I know the feeling and offered to come out instead but was told that I wasn't allowed to come out until scorpio has been to my place because "Since you mentioned that I've never come out to you. That's a prob and I don't want to be in a position to have to hear that again. So I'd rather wait til next week."

I really didn't see the big issue and tried to calmly reason, but it just got worse and then scorpio asked if I want to take a trip to the city together instead. So I got confused and upset since that would probably be more expensive than to come out and at that moment it seemed like an excuse to still keep me away somehow. Scorpio didn't get why I was upset and said that offering to meet in the middle and do a weekend in the city was an attempt to compromise, even if a bad one. Ever since it's been all cold and stingy.

After all the hurtful stuff I had to listen to and after all the crying and pain, I'm not the one to act like a disgruntled and resentful diva. But when I say one thing that rubs scorpio the wrong way, I get a reaction like I drowned a basket of puppies. By now I feel like I am being hurt on purpose. Maybe I'm paranoid and I really try to be understanding, take a step back and look beyond my own pain-bubble and acknowledge that this might have been a hurtful thing to say. Which is hart, because this pain is very real. It's difficult to make sense of it all. This person has gone from being loving, caring and respectful to acting the complete opposite, without any warning and without any real reason (as admitted by scorpio).

@ Reincarnation the physical attraction is quite strong. During the cold and distant moments, sex-talk and being sassy coaxed scorpio out. (Scorpio loves my sass and me being playfully bossy)

@ Impulsv thanks

Scorpio has been going back and forth between wanting to be with me and not wanting to be with me. Seemingly spiraling into this darkness.

The last thing I got was:I'm sorry for all the back and forth. I am sincerely sorry. I will take some time to think. Maybe clear my mind.


Not sure if I responded right. I said that I understand. That this need for solitude is something new to me, but that I understand it's importance to S. to recuperate and clear their head and that I can work with it. I said that I'd only want to ask not to get lost in thoughts about this crisis, but also remember what a wonderful thing we have outside of the crisis and what a great team we are and the potential to come out of this even stronger. And I closed with take care and be safe

Jeez no. We like to banter in a very flirty manner, very humorous too. It's a lot about humor and laughing together. That's probably also why this is so out of the blue. Things have never been negative or tense between us.

Clearly.

I cannot help but relate. I just went through a similar situation. Except I'm a Scorpio woman and I was dealing with a Cancer male. We had been together a year and the whole time we were planning on me moving in with him (since he lives three hours away). Yet a week before I was going to move, he decided that we should break up. It came from out of nowhere and I've been left devastated ever since. I wish I knew why... And I wish I could give you better answers. My question is though, are you two still together?

Posted by Arielle83
Maybe that's just what he's like to live with.

Yes. Consider that he might be showing you what he's like to live with so that you can decide if that's what you really want to do. I know this is an older thread, but if you happen to come back here, please consider not tracking when he's warm and cold. That's only going to drive you nuts. It doesn't sound personal and I bet he has heard the "hot/cold" thing from previous partners who tried to change him. At the end of the day, all romantic partners want to be loved for who they are and not their potential to be something or someone else. I've been told by so many partners that I'm a jerk or an asshole that now, I just tell the guys I meet....hey, I'm a bit of a jerk. Either they can take it or they can't. At least he's trying to gentle lead you into who you have in your life so that you can take time to decide if he's your forever guy or not.

Posted by Rabbit

If a man truly wants to be with you, he will MAKE (figurative and physical) space for you. He's being non-commital. I wouldn't bet on that changing any time soon.

Best answer and the truth.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^