LovelyGemini
@LovelyGemini
14 YearsGemini
Comments: 0 · Posts: 14 · Topics: 2
He said just friends I would like more, help!
I disagree with LIB on this one.
For the fact that he doens't want a relationship, while having a great time with her isn't a red flag ... just because a man wants to have a life without a commitment doens't mean something is wrong with him.
Gemini .... he told you from jump that he isn't interested in anything serious, and by you still wanting to hang out with him and bond with him, is a signal to him telling him that those terms are acceptable to you. I realize that you want more, however, that's not the impression you gave him .. so, you have to live by your honor, for if you can't, then how can you expect another to do it for you?
It's very upsetting when women do this, and drives me nuts ... they enter into a companionship with a guy, leading the guy to believe that they are cool with casual ... and then once he fucks her, she is then trying to find ways to bind him.
Just because he has fun with you, and is enjoying his time together with you, doesn't mean he wants to have a commited relationship with you. If you have deeper feelings for him, then you either suck it up, or leave.
For the fact that he doens't want a relationship, while having a great time with her isn't a red flag ... just because a man wants to have a life without a commitment doens't mean something is wrong with him.
Gemini .... he told you from jump that he isn't interested in anything serious, and by you still wanting to hang out with him and bond with him, is a signal to him telling him that those terms are acceptable to you. I realize that you want more, however, that's not the impression you gave him .. so, you have to live by your honor, for if you can't, then how can you expect another to do it for you?
It's very upsetting when women do this, and drives me nuts ... they enter into a companionship with a guy, leading the guy to believe that they are cool with casual ... and then once he fucks her, she is then trying to find ways to bind him.
Just because he has fun with you, and is enjoying his time together with you, doesn't mean he wants to have a commited relationship with you. If you have deeper feelings for him, then you either suck it up, or leave.
1. He made it clear from the beginning on the dating site that he wasn't looking for anything serious. Why you're so surprised that he hasn't changed his mind yet is beyond me. He meant what he said when he claimed he wasn't looking for anything serious. He wasn't kidding.
2. A man that is not ready for committment won't be any more ready just b/c he had a few amazing nights with a girl he likes. His issues are way bigger than you, so don't take his fear of committment so personal b/c it has nothing to do with you.
3. He gave you hints into his past for many reasons. What you should've taken from that conversation was that his issues are way deeper than you & won't come unraveled just b/c he had a few great nights with you. He was very honest in that issues from his past have alot to do with his current decision not to get serious with anyone. And honestly, I don't blaim him. Women tend to "shrug off" baggage in the very beginning b/c they're just in the moment, but trust me, you wouldn't want to get serious with someone who hasn't yet dealt with their huge baggage; it'll eventually come out & cause turmoil in the relationship, persay you 2 were to ever even get that far.
4. Remember that you don't know this guy very well. Don't put all your eggs in 1 basket. You can't deny what a great time/chemistry you had with him, BUT remember that no one ever fully gets to know someone overnight. And the only way you can make an informed/logical decision on whether or not he's worth it long-term is if you FIRST get to know that person. The word "relationship" shouldn't even be in your vocabulary until you've truly gotten to know him. Good sex & cuddling is NOT getting to know someone.
5. If you like this guy, that's fine. You can't help what you're attracted to. BUT know that if you continue dating him that you're taking a huge risk. If you can date him w/o expecting the very thing he told you AND the whole world he wasn't ready to give (committment), go for it. But you know you...if you know deep down that you won't be able to handle it, get out now!
2. A man that is not ready for committment won't be any more ready just b/c he had a few amazing nights with a girl he likes. His issues are way bigger than you, so don't take his fear of committment so personal b/c it has nothing to do with you.
3. He gave you hints into his past for many reasons. What you should've taken from that conversation was that his issues are way deeper than you & won't come unraveled just b/c he had a few great nights with you. He was very honest in that issues from his past have alot to do with his current decision not to get serious with anyone. And honestly, I don't blaim him. Women tend to "shrug off" baggage in the very beginning b/c they're just in the moment, but trust me, you wouldn't want to get serious with someone who hasn't yet dealt with their huge baggage; it'll eventually come out & cause turmoil in the relationship, persay you 2 were to ever even get that far.
4. Remember that you don't know this guy very well. Don't put all your eggs in 1 basket. You can't deny what a great time/chemistry you had with him, BUT remember that no one ever fully gets to know someone overnight. And the only way you can make an informed/logical decision on whether or not he's worth it long-term is if you FIRST get to know that person. The word "relationship" shouldn't even be in your vocabulary until you've truly gotten to know him. Good sex & cuddling is NOT getting to know someone.
5. If you like this guy, that's fine. You can't help what you're attracted to. BUT know that if you continue dating him that you're taking a huge risk. If you can date him w/o expecting the very thing he told you AND the whole world he wasn't ready to give (committment), go for it. But you know you...if you know deep down that you won't be able to handle it, get out now!
Damn, he didn't even have to wine and dine you to screw you... cheap trick.
Posted by oldskoolflavor
you've been an okay-lover so far
after you've fucked the shit out of him,
2 or 3 times ..
he'll beg for the commitment
don't you believe it, OP
Posted by SunGem20
All the players are present and accounted for....another bogus thread by P-Angel (ecept for u OSF
Boy we must have really gotten to you😉
I can usually follow you, SG, but you've lost me on your comments here...
Posted by SunGem20Posted by pathfinderPosted by SunGem20
All the players are present and accounted for....another bogus thread by P-Angel (ecept for u OSF
Boy we must have really gotten to you😉
I can usually follow you, SG, but you've lost me on your comments here...
Just another berating thread about Gem girls; cus we beat her shit down the other day. So now she is trying to create threads with her bogus made up members to create the same...the difference between those threads and these; REAL!!! Usually these threads that she creates include two or more fake accounts inorder to rally support....click to expand
oh. damn.
Posted by SunGem20
Your probably one of her (I call them) stepford members.
Is this comment directed at me, SG?
Thanks for the proper replies people, some more information about the guy, he has had previous relationships, his longest one was 6 years and his most recent one just 2 years. He said he has been single coming upto 2 years now and last night on the phone he was playfully using the L word (love) he was jokingly saying that I loved him, I was like "Ummm nope!"
Can I just ask what everyone means when they say butter? I'm guessing treetrunk is sex, yes?
I can assure you I am not p angel whoever that is, if there is a MOD on here they could check my IP address and see that I am in Great Britain, I'm guessing from the replies most of you are American, I don't get some of the slang words, the same as you wouldn't understand all the British slang if I used it.
Many thanks for the replies so far though I will check in again and hopefully have some decent responses.
Can I just ask what everyone means when they say butter? I'm guessing treetrunk is sex, yes?
I can assure you I am not p angel whoever that is, if there is a MOD on here they could check my IP address and see that I am in Great Britain, I'm guessing from the replies most of you are American, I don't get some of the slang words, the same as you wouldn't understand all the British slang if I used it.
Many thanks for the replies so far though I will check in again and hopefully have some decent responses.
Explain more about him testing the waters, do you think he could potentially want to be more than just friends? He did only say friends when we were emailing and talking on phone, since we met and spoke a bit more on the phone he is asking me more and more questions that shouldn't matter to someone if they only wanted to be a friend. For example he asked me what me and my ex used to argue about and how we split, did any cheating go on etc, it did but it was my ex that cheated not me hence the reason we broke up.
@ THEkingoflibra. Thanks mate I thought butter was some crazy slang word haha
Sooooooo, does that mean potential for a relationship then?
English women have different standards ... I remember once, just a couple years ago ... an English woman was saying that females have a "place" in which is dictated by men. If a woman steps out of her "place" and takes charge of her personal/intimate life .... then she is marked by men as not being worth any kind of respect.
I was floored .... in total shock.
We were talking about multi-dating and she said that a woman of decency wouldn't dare ... for then she would never be approved of by man.
When women come in here now and say they are from England and in their testimony they make the insintuation that their life is decided upon according to the man's approval or desire .... I just want to throttle the women .... wtf kind of backwards shit is that?
And there are numerous threads in here made like that ...... where the woman does whatever the man wants her to do, while she feels desperate for him to want her.
I was floored .... in total shock.
We were talking about multi-dating and she said that a woman of decency wouldn't dare ... for then she would never be approved of by man.
When women come in here now and say they are from England and in their testimony they make the insintuation that their life is decided upon according to the man's approval or desire .... I just want to throttle the women .... wtf kind of backwards shit is that?
And there are numerous threads in here made like that ...... where the woman does whatever the man wants her to do, while she feels desperate for him to want her.
I remember Roxi posting an article in here about a footie team (soccer to us) was in a hotel lounge or maybe it was a private club .... and women were brought in to service these men, sexually ... and then some shit went down, I forget exactly, but, something about it becoming public ... and the women were brought to the magistrate to get in trouble for the men because the men were married or had girlfriends.
The whole industry and community was outraged because these women would commit such a horrible thing to married men ... and the men were honored.
The whole industry and community was outraged because these women would commit such a horrible thing to married men ... and the men were honored.
I don't totally get it, I can/could only interpret what I was being told. I know that when I questioned it, both that first lady, and then with Roxi .... they both alluded to me not understanding. Well yeah, I'm not understanding .. hence: me questioning it.
Posted by LovelyGemini
Sooooooo, does that mean potential for a relationship then?
I think you are missing the point. It doesn't matter WHY he's not ready for committment, nor does it matter what questions he's asking you or what sweet words he's saying in your ears while you 2 are together. The BIG PICTURE is that he still has NOT changed his mind about wanting a relationship. The outcome is still the same.
Sounds like you're not willing to accept this fact. Instead of accepting that, you're trying to over-complicate his simple words so that you can sub-consciously justify why you're still around or waiting on him to suddenly change his mind.
You're making his words more complicated than necessary. He said, "I do NOT want a committment." Sure, sometimes the right woman can come along & get the cliche committment-phobic man to want a relationship, BUT this rarely happens. And when it actually does, the "good woman" still has little to do with that sudden change of heart. Through it all, HE has to be ready & HE has to make that decision to be ready.
My guess is that he won't be ready whether he has a good woman like you in his face OR a woman he's not even into in his face. When a person says they're not ready, that decision is usually final. It doesn't change just b/c a different girl whose sexy & a fun time, comes along. That decision is made/changed psychologically & stems from a fix in whatever baggage/issues were causing him to not want a relationship in the 1st place
I think about it often, nearly everytime we get a thread like this one.
For a American woman's perspective, we're like wtf is the matter with you, that you would fuck the man because he wants it, and then be confused that he isn't wanting you as his woman?
We see these kinds of threads all the time. Like this one .. she fucks the man so easily, and then wants desperately for him to approve of her enough to want more with her. Now, it's ok that she fucked him, without losing her "place" because she is trying to have a relationship. She would only be labelled as a woman marked if she fucks a guy to whom she isn't trying to gain his acceptance of her.
It's baffling to me .... and I'm thinking that this is why the woman never gets it when people try to tell her what's going on .. she will continue to ask about how to get him and why doesnt' he want her, what should she do now? She's giving him everything he wants, why doesn't he want her.
For a American woman's perspective, we're like wtf is the matter with you, that you would fuck the man because he wants it, and then be confused that he isn't wanting you as his woman?
We see these kinds of threads all the time. Like this one .. she fucks the man so easily, and then wants desperately for him to approve of her enough to want more with her. Now, it's ok that she fucked him, without losing her "place" because she is trying to have a relationship. She would only be labelled as a woman marked if she fucks a guy to whom she isn't trying to gain his acceptance of her.
It's baffling to me .... and I'm thinking that this is why the woman never gets it when people try to tell her what's going on .. she will continue to ask about how to get him and why doesnt' he want her, what should she do now? She's giving him everything he wants, why doesn't he want her.
Of course he would interrogate her ... she is female, he is male.
And her Place is to answer to him, so that he may decide to approve of her.
And her Place is to answer to him, so that he may decide to approve of her.
Update, Scorpio dude DID want a relationship but by that time I'd gone off him, I did try for 2 weeks to fancy him but I couldn't he changed dramatically, he wanted me to leave the dating site I found him on and took it upon himself to create fake profiles to see if I would meet any other guys, I was in his house on his laptop and just had a feeling that if I looked I would find something so I went into his pictures and seen all these pictures of guys that he had used to create the 3 fake profiles. The date created coincided with the date these fake profiles contacted me so that was the last straw, that was too weird for me.
This was June time, I told him that I didn't want to meet up with him anymore and what followed was him bombarding me with text messages and emails then he found me on another forum that I use for fitness and general talk, he was harassing me on there. I had a huge email explaining that I fucked with his feelings and that he was vengeful and all this bollox, turned to threatening me. I told him "come anywhere near me and I'd slice his eyelids off and set fire to his house whilst he was asleep"
Don't think I will bother with scorps in the future, don't think we are suited at all.
This was June time, I told him that I didn't want to meet up with him anymore and what followed was him bombarding me with text messages and emails then he found me on another forum that I use for fitness and general talk, he was harassing me on there. I had a huge email explaining that I fucked with his feelings and that he was vengeful and all this bollox, turned to threatening me. I told him "come anywhere near me and I'd slice his eyelids off and set fire to his house whilst he was asleep"
Don't think I will bother with scorps in the future, don't think we are suited at all.
wow, what an update! Sliced eyeballs! LOL
Ive always wondered to what lengths a scorpio would go to in order to check out someone. I know my former S found my online blog and read it, facebook too.
Ive always wondered to what lengths a scorpio would go to in order to check out someone. I know my former S found my online blog and read it, facebook too.
Posted by BigGirlPanties
wow, what an update! Sliced eyeballs! LOL
Ive always wondered to what lengths a scorpio would go to in order to check out someone. I know my former S found my online blog and read it, facebook too.
Crazy.ass.lengths.
Like MsScorpP said, not necessarily to harm anyone, but strictly out of curiosity and information gathering.
For instance, I was seeing an Aries man who was clearly still hung up on his ex-wife, and I was really hung up on him, and things we're just really stalled. I was curious as to what this ex had that I didn't? Through a series of online investigation which can only be described as crazy-ass, I found the ex's email addy, and through that, her Facebook page. Once I started checking out the ex's Facebook I realized she was absolutely the most self-centered, vain, spoiled, shallow person i could ever imagine. I honestly thought she was joking at first because WHO could be THAT into herself and what kind of bitch would brag so much about all her money, vacations, shopping trips paid for by ex hubby's alimony, never working one day in her life, yet bragging bragging bragging about all of her luxuries? ... oh and with like 70 albums all filled with pictures of herself in various wanna-be modeling poses? But nope, that was her personality. I really lost a ton of respect for Mr Aries after finding out that this was the woman he still was not over? I realized, through my crazy-ass stalking, that he and I were clearly not suited for each other, if he could ever have been in love with someone like her, then he and I would never, ever make it. I got over him so damn fast and moved on, no problem.
So yeah. Crazy-ass lengths, but the information that can be gleaned can be really valuable 🙂
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I'm on a dating site and received an email from this guy 3 weeks ago. I looked at his profile, liked his pictures and his profile, it was witty articulate and he spelt everything correctly (instead of all the LOL and text talk that I hate) anyway we emailed back and forth for a week, in his emails he said he wasn't looking for a girlfriend mainly just looking for friends, after a week we exchanged numbers and talked for 4 and half hours no exaggeration on the Monday night, Tuesday-Friday nights we spent about 3 hours each night talking again then Saturday night we were both out and a bit drunk so we agreed to meet, this was about 3am! He came back to my house and we did talk for about an hour but then fell asleep, I had a night shirt on and knickers he had his boxers on, we did have a kiss and I could feel his dick in my back but nothing really sexual happened. Woke up a few hours later and his hangover had kicked in (I felt fine!) I told him to eat so drove him to one of the fast food places, he felt 100% better after eating so we went back up to bed. Without going into too much detail we had sex, he is an amazing lover, so eager to please and his oral sex is thee best I've ever had.
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