Moving on without closure...

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by kakamelio on Thursday, March 17, 2011 and has 20 replies.

What Gemini Is Like After a Breakup

Gemini after breakup often looks like they are moving on quickly because they distract themselves with talking, joking, going out, or acting mentally checked out. Many people notice a Gemini may avoid heavy closure talks if the relationship feels repetitive, draining, or too emotional to explain again. In real situations, the confusing part is that they can miss you privately while still acting light, busy, or already over it.

Profile picture of kakamelio
@kakamelio
15 Years

Is it true that geminis move on really fast and do not dwell back on their past relationships, even without a proper closure or explanation of why/what/how'd that happen..
Would hope to hear some stories from the geminis of how they move on from a relationship, with or without a proper closure?

Profile picture of Kleo
@Kleo
16 YearsGemini

Without closure its more complex.

It honestly depends on how emotionally involved i am.

If my heart is in it...
i'll miss you...a lot. i'll lust after you. my heart will ache for you.
at least for a months time before my internal logistics snap back to reality.
it won't hurt as much, but i will still think about you.
it takes more time for special cases...some have even been years.
and every now & then the feelings will creep back & wash over me
& i'll get all emotional over it.
if i have ever loved you, i still love you.
it just shifts gears.

I have cancer moon, mercury, mars. venus in taurus. surprise, surprise!

ba ha ha.

Profile picture of Whimsy
@Whimsy
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Kleo said it all. But before any nonGems get nervous, I would just like to point out that loving someone doesn't mean you still want to be dating them.

Profile picture of ladygem
@ladygem
15 Years

Posted by kakamelio
Is it true that geminis move on really fast and do not dwell back on their past relationships, even without a proper closure or explanation of why/what/how'd that happen..
Would hope to hear some stories from the geminis of how they move on from a relationship, with or without a proper closure?

Depends on how well we connected. Personally I don't have a problem with walking away when it ends abruptly if there was nothing there. It has to be something there to keep me interested! When I really liked the person I wrestle with it internally, but you will never know. After I have analyzed the good and bad of the relationship to death lol. Then I will accept it for what it is and move on...But, here is the thing with me..It's during this time I'm still pawning over you especially if I felt there was a connection. I will long for you hoping you reach out to me (show that you still care)! though you may not know it..But if you don't make contact (communication is vital to me at this time) to rectify the relationship (if you ended it)..then I'm gone no looking back..no matter how many times you try to make it good later on...

Sun-Gemini
Mer-Gemini
Venus-Gemini
Mars-Gemini
Taurus-Moon
Libra-Rising

Profile picture of roamingfree
@roamingfree
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

depends when and how the decision has been made. I had times when it took some time to move on, and there were times where decisions have been swift with no looking back.
Each situation is complex in itself. I think it depends what will satisfy our need to make our decisions. Closure is for those who are left, not for those who are leaving.

Profile picture of candi3bb
@candi3bb
15 Years500+ PostsAquarius

yeah they are not heartless. they're humans...the thing is psychology outweighs astrology any day...i mean i broke with my ex because of his inability to let go his pasts. And now i will be another collection of his past...my best friends are gemini's they talk and talk about their bfs and gfs and how sick and tired they are of them. how the relationship is so bad.

SO BAD THAT THEY CANNOT LEAVE...haha so bad that they themselves don't have the courage to do so. EVEN when she leaves she'll act like nothing is wrong but deep down she is hurt and disappointed. The only reason why gemini's come across like that to others...heartless or what not..is simply because they refuse to mope like the rest of the population. i could be wrong. but personal opinion. gemini's are actually great people

Profile picture of Archimedes
@Archimedes
16 Years

"I will long for you hoping you reach out to me (show that you still care)! though you may not know it..But if you don't make contact (communication is vital to me at this time) to rectify the relationship (if you ended it)..then I'm gone no looking back..no matter how many times you try to make it good later on..."

This rings true for me. Depends on the connection we had. Do I NEED closure, no, but sometimes it would be nice.

Profile picture of GeminiDahl
@GeminiDahl
15 YearsGemini

I agree with Kleo too. If its over I will walk away even if I still have strong feelings. I will love you but I will leave you alone. The love and lust I still feel will be kept deep inside and personal and most will never see it.

Profile picture of GeminiMind
@GeminiMind
17 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Posted by Kleo
Without closure its more complex.

It honestly depends on how emotionally involved i am.

If my heart is in it...
i'll miss you...a lot. i'll lust after you. my heart will ache for you.
at least for a months time before my internal logistics snap back to reality.
it won't hurt as much, but i will still think about you.
it takes more time for special cases...some have even been years.
and every now & then the feelings will creep back & wash over me
& i'll get all emotional over it.
if i have ever loved you, i still love you.
it just shifts gears.

I have cancer moon, mercury, mars. venus in taurus. surprise, surprise!

ba ha ha.

Yup!

Profile picture of GemsRaGalsBestPal
@GemsRaGalsBestPal
16 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

Well it depends on your definition of a relationship.

For instance:

That guy I went on three dates with and I became all about it, but he was not and he went away... What was his name again? This works for me vice versa too.

Now, if I had enough time with you to truly bond and build a connection other than just in my head. I will always think of you from time to time.

Closure is tricky for me, I'm not quite sure I even "get it". My feelings for a person can be so intense that sitting down and having a conversation about why, who, when, what, and how it won't work etc, etc, etc isn't going to help me close doors. The only way for me to close a door is to give it time and space. I also have to have the closure within myself, the partner can't give it to me.

So in sum, regardless of if the person disappears one day or tells me to my face it depends on a few factors for me... my feelings and length of time together.

Profile picture of GeminiDahl
@GeminiDahl
15 YearsGemini

You are spot on GemsRaGalsBestPal. I recently ended a relationship and was able to walk away without having any real closure. But circumstances provided me one last time seeing my ex and it gave me closure within myself. I feel so much better now, like I am coming out of the dark for the first time in months and am myself again. That sappy 'what could have been' longing quickly turned into 'damn, I dodged that bullet'.

Profile picture of guccigemini55
@guccigemini55
14 Years500+ Posts

I like to have closure and I want it over and done with quickly, once its over no looking back, there`s no worse feeling than being stuck in limbo about something or someone, i feel it clips my wings and stops both of you growing in the direction you need, i will give closure too if its something i don`t want because i feel its unfair to be straight for these reasons, i think messing with someones emotions is cruel, its emotional abuse so i would rather be straight and would want someone to be straight with me also.

As in moving on quickly, I dont see the point in putting myself and others through loads of pain if I already know the outcome is not going to be a good one, i would rather face it head on and get it over and done with and go in search of happiness else where rather than wasting my time.. saying that though if they are good a good person but its just ended for whatever reason without it being a mess I can be friends with them if they can be grown up about it, if they cant I dont want to know.

Profile picture of ShopClass
@ShopClass
15 Years

Posted by Kleo
Without closure its more complex.

It honestly depends on how emotionally involved i am.

If my heart is in it...
i'll miss you...a lot. i'll lust after you. my heart will ache for you.
at least for a months time before my internal logistics snap back to reality.
it won't hurt as much, but i will still think about you.
it takes more time for special cases...some have even been years.
and every now & then the feelings will creep back & wash over me
& i'll get all emotional over it.
if i have ever loved you, i still love you.
it just shifts gears.

Perfect answer.
I'd also add that the level of emotional involvement may not be related to the amount of time spent in the relationship. I've been in relationships that lasted year that made less of an impact than a connection made over a month.

Profile picture of ShopClass
@ShopClass
15 Years

Posted by DeeGee
I tend to suffer quietly.....cus no matter what anyone says I'm going to handle it my way, regardless....

I suffer quietly also. Not even my closest friends will know about the pain I'm going through.
I'll throw myself into activity; sign up and train for an athletic event, volunteer more than usual. Anything to stay away from my house (which I don't spend a lot of time at anyway), which at that time seems to serve as a pressure cooker for those feelings.

Profile picture of Geminems
@Geminems
13 Years

"If I have ever loved you, I still love you"

^^^ Definitely. Which can't be said for most.
With time and distance, most people can get over someone.
The ones I really loved, there will always be some sort of place in my heart for them.

Profile picture of fionaapplefan
@fionaapplefan
13 Years

i have a similar, but slightly different view. i'm a gemini yeah, but i also have venus square uranus and one of the things i read about that aspect is: the only thing i do faster than falling in love is falling out of love. and i've got to tell you, it sucks. it makes you want to give up on yourself because it can happen at any time. one week. one month. one year. head over heels hopelessly in love. then wake up one day and it's like a switch has gone off.

and all i wanted to do was get it back. and no matter how hard i tried, i just felt like i was faking it. and then one day i'd wake up and be back in love with her and i'd think phew, it was just a blip. but then a couple days later, or even the next day, it would be gone again. and then i'd be back to faking it.

and you just can't do that - love someone truly madly deeply one day and have no feelings for them the other 29 days of the month. you just have to call it a day. there's no rhyme or reason to it. you love them. there is no one else. you're just not in love with them anymore. and it's nothing they've done. it's you. you're the bad guy. and there's not a thing you can do about it.

and when it happens time and time again, always repeating, you reach a stage where you just don't want to put yourself or anyone else through that.

it's not just love. it's pretty much everything for me. always has been. throughout my whole life. i only want what i can't have and when i have it, i don't want it anymore.