Here I go... ( Posted in Virgo boards too) (Page 2)

LMAO That's what love is all about, you silly, SILLY. You accept someone, flaws and all. You'll see. 😉

I don't HATE anyone. 😛

So, don't get married.

So...uh...find a woman who makes her own money. DUH! Bran, not all of us are looking for a Daddy.

And whatever. You'll be stupid right along with the rest of us...just wait. 😛

SOME women are like that, but so are some men. People who don't recognize their own self-worth or don't have their own identity look for it in others.

lol Yeah...a million people haven't written songs, poems, novels, created paintings on this topic. It's just me and my sign.

"and the answer is no yum but you wouldn't really be in love with someone without that attraction in the first place."

Well, perhaps not "in love", but you can certainly love people without being attracted to them.

"I've never loved anyone I wasn't attracted to."

I'm talking about love, not infatuation.

Point is, marriage is a relationship that depends on both sexual attraction and mental connection, remove one, and the marriage falls apart. Why is it wrong to admit that?

*note: this does not necessarily holds true for people with diminished libidos(such as old people).

Mental stimulation is a HUGE part of the attraction for me, Yum. You're taking for granted that attraction is all physical in the first place. It's much more than that.

"Such idiocracy is normally spoken from the lips of a Pisces"

LOL Yeah. Do you want me to post the links to all the virgos who have posted here about love to a nauseating degree? And you don't know what I have or have not put up with. Stop ASSuming. 😛

"Mental stimulation is a HUGE part of the attraction for me, Yum. You're taking for granted that attraction is all physical in the first place. It's much more than that."

No, I don't. I do think, however, that there are some things that are unignorable. I don't think I'd be able to be attracted to a woman who has a faced covered with third-degree burns, for example. Anyway, I thought the question presupposes that the spouse is not sexually attractive from the point of the accident(that's how Bran presents it, anyhow).

you can not love someone in a romantic sense without physical attraction.

it can't happen.

if you loved someone for a long time and they were tragically disfigured in an accident, you would still continue to love them but obviously, the whole relationship would change. but i maintain that ultimately, if you truly, deeply love someone then you would not forsake them in these circumstances.

if i was the disfigured party, i would tell my partner to go with whores rather than lose him - presuming i loved him in the first place. it is important to have a healthy sex life and if i wasn't able to offer that, i would expect him to go elsewhere but i would prefer it if the 'elsewhere' was more of a business transaction than a love affair.

deivil: it's easy to be noble when you're not in that situation 😉

"if you loved someone for a long time and they were tragically disfigured in an accident, you would still continue to love them but obviously, the whole relationship would change. but i maintain that ultimately, if you truly, deeply love someone then you would not forsake them in these circumstances. "

Just because you love someone doesn't mean that you have to marry/stay married to them. You don't marry your best friend, do you? You can be by someone's side without being married to them.

"if i was the disfigured party, i would tell my partner to go with whores rather than lose him - presuming i loved him in the first place. it is important to have a healthy sex life and if i wasn't able to offer that, i would expect him to go elsewhere but i would prefer it if the 'elsewhere' was more of a business transaction than a love affair."

That really seems better to you than ending the marriage? I don't think it would work all that well, anyway. People want to fall in love, generally, and not just have sex, and I don't think you can be in love with someone you don't find attractive in the least(you yourself and SS said as much).

Funny how chemistry and connection can allow you to love someone you aren't physically attracted to at all. I have been there, but once that love is gone or has died down, you notice all the things you dislike about this person physically. Uggghhh not a pretty site.

it would be less hurtful for a partner to satisfy their sexual needs for purely physical reasons rather than being left by them to start a new life with someone else. i did say that obviously the relationship/marriage would change but if it is a loving relationship, the feelings of love would remain.

i'm trying to find details about this book that was out last year written by this guy who admits to openly cheating on his wife as she died of breast cancer. in fact, he did more than cheat, he had a long term affair and when his wife died, married the other woman. his dying wife was aware of what he was doing and absolutely gave him her blessing. his love for her was undeniable as was hers for him. the whole concept was shocking but nevertheless, he was only addressing the subject from the perspective of the partner of the victim.

i also think that there is much to be said for marrying your best friend too. two of my brothers did and they are both blissfully happy. different sex best friendships are rarely without sexual attraction after all.

sorry for hiding so much - they are duplicate postings due to my chronic connection 😢

My gosh, B...I am gobsmacked!! Seriously, with the outlook you have at this point in time, please don't complain about your problem not being able to meet a good woman until you grow past this phase...Coz it just makes you a total hypocrite.

You are crying out for something real, something genuine - yet you are not willing to be this yourself?? Come ON. It's no wonder why you only attract the materialistic bitches...Honestly, have you ever TRULY loved someone in your life (with every fibre of your being)? And I don't just mean romantically, I mean in any way at all...Have you ever met someone who is just a truly wonderful person?

You say a woman has to meet high ethical and moral standards to be with you, yet you'd leave her in an instant if she ended up in an accident which made her a bit less physically attractive? Seriously...Stop and think what you are setting yourself up for.

I'll tell you something...When you meet someone (whether it be romantic or not), that is just an amazing person...Someone who inspires you, stands by you, helps you, someone you can talk about anything with and have a great time with (etc, etc) - Their physical imperfections aren't as noticable. Their inner beauty overtakes their appearance, and you realise how much more valuable a BEAUTIFUL SOUL is than a beautiful exterior. They can understand you and make you feel a way that no one who is physically beautiful but hideously shallow and materialistic could ever make you feel.

From someone that comes across as being as intelligent as you B, I am astonished at some of the things you have said here. I really thought you were smarter than that...

This is not a phase.

Lady M, appreciate your input but some phases last a very long time...And this problem WILL keep repeating itself until he learns the lesson! Therefore, he is in a phase until he learns it. Perhaps cycle would have been a better word for me to use? I do speak in somewhat metaphysical terms though.

At the end of the day if he keeps the blinkers on, the only person he is holding back is himself. Everyone is capable of learning their lessons, it just depends on how pig-headed they're going to be about the issue. Maybe he won't learn it until he's endured alot more punishment yet, but that would just make him a slow learner.

I don't really think it's fair to imply that this is something he cannot get past though (by saying it's not a phase), since he has alot more life to live yet.

!!!!!!UPDATE!!!!!!

So we met up for a date yesterday. I was very surprised! He looks sooo much better in person than in his pictures! He photographs horribly, but he is just so cute in person, lol. To top it off, he even brought me roses on our first date, took me to Carrabas Italian Grill, introduced me to another couple whom he was friends with and we all got along great. Stayed up all night talking and watching movies. Had a great time.

I'm glad I didn't blow him off just on his pics.

Thanks SH 🙂

That's great news scorpio chick! I hope it works out for you 🙂

Go, SC! Go, SC!

That's one less sob story. Booya