Hooking Up With The Local Meterologist's Daughter

i gotta tell ya...its a fuckin trip hooking up with the daughter of someone you see on the local news everyday...its like, everytime you turn on the news and see this ass, if you have any kind of sense you are thinking,

"dude, what kind of father are you to have raised such a slut?"

and EVERY TIME you see this schmuck babbling off some doppler radar weather forecast with a big cheesy grin on his faces like everything is just roses and daises, you can't help but laugh your ass of at this poor schlepper for a father who most likely has NO CLUE that his daughter is out on the town galavanting in local bars...


so the other day i am working and i see this average looking blond chick with a humongous pair or breasts mosey on down to the end of the bar in a section where i was working... she was by herself and she didn't look like she was waiting for anyone, although i saw that she knew one of the bartenders...

my "Bar Wench On-The-Prowl RADAR" started going berzerk when i saw her down two beers by herself with no common diversions in sight..you know those common diversions that weak, insecure women have IF and when they go out by themselves to a bar or out to eat? like usually they have a book or something and are pretending to read or they have their ipod or some other pda device in which they are "frantically" typing their asses off (typing to themselves most likely saying shit like, "why am i sitting here alone by myself?")

you can usually tell these types when they are reading AND eating at the same time!

at that point its like, ok! drop the fuckin act already! we know you are lonely and no one wants to be your friend but if you are gonna go out and be like THAT just stay home for christ's sake!

but those are the WEAK ones..

the STRONG ones go out and eat and drink in bars by themselves and you can usually tell who they are because when they eat alone, they have NO DIVERSIONS! no books, no pda's, they are watching people and their environment and making EYE CONTACT.,.

usually these are the people who don't end up alone for very long when they are out alone..


with that little (or big) digression out of the way, i was about to get off work so i decided to just leave that blond, big-tittied bar wench where she was (since she is pretty average looking in the face) and just go home...

so i leave and since i took the subway to work that day i go underground to wait for the train and i am waiting....

i am waiting for about five minutes and this broad shows up out of NOWHERE and sits down on the bench next to me where i am waiting for the train... she begins to make conversation by asking me my name and saying, "i just saw you in ABC Bar!"

i was like duh! you DID follow me here didn't you?

i didn't really say that since i am a little too polite for my own good at times, but for the sake of what was looking to be a quick and easy lay, i was willing to play along for the time being...

i tell her my name is Fundamental and i saw her too sitting at the bar having a drink, blah blah blah..

the train starts to arrive at this point and i find her getting on the same train with me..

at this point i knew this was probably going to be the easiest piece of ass i had ever come across..and i am pretty used to ass raining out of the sky on me at times, but sometimes the shit is just SO easy and i am NOT sorry, but i can't get over myself!


anyways, we sit down next to each other on the train and begin to chit-chat...she tells me her dad is Meteorologist X from the local NBC affiliate and obviously she got off in some kind of weird way knowing that her dad was a local celebrity..

but i was not impressed with anything other than her breasts...

(and i am a face man, not a breast guy)...


but we end up bar hopping downtown and then meet up with one of her friends (another average looking blond chick) and decide that we should go to the cancer's house...

we hail a cab and get this west african dude.....


since there are three of us, the cancer and i sit in the back and her friend sits in the front....


meanwhile the cancer and i are in the back and since both of us had been drinking a little, we were a little frisky and before i knew it, i had those big bouncing bundles of joy for breasts bobbing in and out of her shirt until finally they were out for good!

i did feel a little uncomfortable catching the cabbie's eyes visually drooling over the steamy and magnificent show going on in his backseat, but i felt hey, in addition to getting a % 20 tip (i usually never tip below this) he would get a little freak show as well!


needless to say, aside from the fact that i caught the cabbie leering at the hot action taking place through his rearview mirror the whole ride to the cancer's house, he still had time to play the fulani free agent and try to hit on the cancer's friend sitting in the front next to him who was totally embarras

i mean, here is her friend with her blindingly big breasts in my mouth in the back seat sitting directly behind her and the cab driver is acting like he wants a piece of the action too..poor her..it must have been really overwhelming for her...


i mean, she just met me and i look like i am on the fast track to getting in between her cancer friend's friend's legs...


so we arrive at the cancer's place and decide to partake in a little herb ceremony...


we were inside for no more than 5 minutes when we hear a knock on the door...it was 3:30am at this point, mind you and the cancer and her friend were like, "who the fuck could be knocking at the door?"


so they make ME answer it (of course) and i do only to find the perverted cab driver standing there!

i was literally thinking, "what the fuck dude! i ain't sharing, especially with some fucking cabbie i just met AND tipped 20% to!)

but thoughts aside, this guy wanted to use the fucking BATHROOM! can you fucking believe it?

how LAME and TRANSPARENT can a guy be to think that its gonna be THAT easy for his cab driving ass to get laid in THAT lame manner?

being the nice people we are, we let him use the bathroom and quickly kicked him out letting him know essentially that he wasn't gonna get any of that ass on that particular night from EITHER ONE of those particular girls, even though he couldnt stop smiling with the largest, whitest, cheesiest grin i have seen in a loooong time...


i guess they are not so discreet in west africa when it comes to sex...well they are generally not since i have been there and have some interesting stories to tell about my sexual experiences there..but that is for another day...



anyways, not only was the cabbie not getting any ass that night, apparently i wasn't either because at that point the cancer must have been thinking, "am i THAT loose that a fucking cabbie who just dropped me off has the nerve to think that he is gonna get some TOO?!" (although he was obviously aiming for the friend who was a third wheel and he was trying to make it a complete wheel set...)

but i like tricycles myself, especially when i am the male-center wheel in the forefront...


so i basically ended up going sexless that night because of some DUMB ASS HORNY CAB DRIVER who just HAD to fuck it up for me!!!

he needed to use the bathroom?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

i should have totally stiffed that motherfucker just for leering at my ass the whole goddamn r

no disagreement with anything you have said, man..

you live and you learn...what can i say?

EXCEPT-

FUCK ALL COCK BLOCKERS!

whether they are cabbies, or any work in any other profession that's crappy...


if you are a cock blocker and you need a release, go home and jerk off BEFORE you fuck up another man's game...

i mean, is it really worth it for 2 men to go home sexless at the end of the night?

i think not...

i could never understand that mentality...some people are so fucking selfish that if they can't have something, they don't want YOU to have it either!

i'm sure a hot art model/bartender like you had plenty of other bimbos to call

"like usually they have a book or something and are pretending to read or they have their ipod or some other pda device in which they are "frantically" typing their asses off (typing to themselves most likely saying butter like, "why am i sitting here alone by myself?")"

no,

they're probably thinking "pretend to be really busy before this PERV comes over here and disturbs my peaceful meal/drink"

Wow, am I the only one who's tired of your outlandish fictious stories/claims?

I mean anyone who can believe anything that you type/say are not very bright themselves. No one wants to fuck the "help" ie bartender unless they are some overweight, desperate ugly female. Any woman that would sleep with you bc she frequents the bar you work at deserves you.

With that said I was born in early november to a v wealthy family and have a firm of my own. I've traveled the world and I've never looked at the help. I'm level headed, education is primary and friendship is equal.

I apologize that you so called intimate life is so empty.... it'll never fill that insecure deep whole that you so blantantly project through your post.

Whole= hole

Treetrunk? Stop saying that stupid word! Especially butter!
Like nails on a chalkboard...

(Some other error; apologies to the readers I'm on a cell)
Coincidentially having some cocktails, snubbing the loser bartenders

Nice fantasy though (fundamental)

Stupid board it's khocktails (not chickentails)

Oh I get it, the board re.words to be appropriate

@ greatbull:

there are TOO MANY cb's around to worry about fighting them all off!

by the time you are done doing that (if you ever are) you will look around and find yourself WOMANLESS! she will have been long gone by the time you get your head out of your ass fighting a futile war because you haven't been spending any time on HER!

instead, you have been wasting all of your energy trying to fight off and endless swarm of cb's and focusing on a bunch of sausages really, when you should be confident enough in yourself to let the WOMAN do all the fighting...

they have the vagina's so its easy for them to deal with that shit (if they want to..better hope they like you enough) because they deal with it all the time..

where it would take a normal dude hours to fight off a swarm of cb's, a woman who knows her shit and is aware of her wiles can fend them off in a spilt second with a COLD look...

and i tend not to have cb's around because i only hang out with HOT chicks..and i mean that..

why hang out with guys? i mean, all you dudes are gonna end up doing is sitting around talking about which girls you wanna bang and etc, etc, and ending up REALLY sexually frustrated at the end..

i cut all the bs out and just hang out with the girls so the option of sex is always on the table...

guys take up too much of my energy..i have guy friends, but we don't do guy things like hang out together in one big sausage fest..


@ someonespecial:

i sure do have a lot of "hot bimbos" i can call but the thing is, i never do!

i hate calling girls because then it seems like i want them or something from them at the very least..

i don't chase..

i let everything come to me and it always does..

and you MAY be right about girls "pretending" to be busy" so pervs dont draw near...

but i would counter you by saying that if a girl truly knows herself and the power of her femininity where men are concerned, she doesn't have to pretend..she just has to flash a disapproving look in your direction and that is enough to stop most men who are not vile predators in their tracks...

but only the HOT girls for the most part are skilled in this department, so maybe those girls whom you speak of who are "pretending" are not so hot...if that's the case, i am not interested...


@ llorei:

so let me guess...it is your second day on the board and out of your total 4 posts, your first three are dedicated to little old me in CONSECUTIVE ORDER..

let me guess, you were e-scared that fundamental would burn you out of your real dxp e-suit and force you to delete that account and find a new user name due to sheer embarrasment?!!??!


tell me if i am getting warm..

either way, i am flattered that your first three posts on DXP were dedicated to me!

welcome!


(if i am anyone to welcome people here..probably not since i have already had one user account blocked and i am currently working on the next one...oh well...)

your not welcome maybe?


fuck it..

i will leave the welcoming committe shit to a more upstanding dxp citizen than myself...

but i guess you don't really need it since more than likely you are quite familiar with the place already!

@ aurorabrighteyez:

tread lightly my dear before i devise a pet name for you!

you are starting to lick my face a BIT too much!

i went to school with a weatherman's daughter. he's still doing the weather and she went on to do topless modelling i believe LOL!! he is always so sensible looking on tv that i think she felt compelled to redress the balance.

in the words of blingie, zing! ^^^ you do have some good ones though

"Dedicate"?
Are you retarded? Probably so "bartender". And pls spare us w any type of bs such as having a degree. I can already see that lie coming!
Are you writing a book or sth? Is that were you think all your lies will pay off?
Ha dedicate! I come on here and you're practically taking up the scorpio msg board w your lies. Do you think we care?

This is dedicated to you: m-e-t-e-O-r-o-l-o-g-i-s-t
Oh and fictitious! Not the other one!

Haha "less irritating than women"!
Someone obviously gets dissed left and right!
Do yourself a favor and stick w the men or find yourself an overweight, low self esteemed gal who would put up w your negativity. You just told me everything about yourself in that statement.

Haha... why don't you two e-mail ea other! I am a scorpio and this is a scorpio board! I don't want him filling up this board w his lies! And his "how to get bt a scorpios legs", he's like a frat boy w/o the suburban upbringing... not that their anymore intelligent then this loser. It's pretty pathetic when you can't even lie over the internet. And it's so obvious he thinks that he is convincing. Yet YOU great bull think this is worth entertaining? You need to get out more often. Dare I say de.tach yourself from the khockfest you are so endeared w and grow up yourself.

Haha... why don't you two e-mail ea other! I am a scorpio and this is a scorpio board! I don't want him filling up this board w his lies! And his "how to get bt a scorpios legs", he's like a frat boy w/o the suburban upbringing... not that their anymore intelligent then this loser. It's pretty pathetic when you can't even lie over the internet. And it's so obvious he thinks that he is convincing. Yet YOU great bull think this is worth entertaining? You need to get out more often. Dare I say de.tach yourself from the khockfest you are so endeared w and grow up yourself.

Awww someones feelings are hurt?

Your remark too universal and elementary. No wonder why you don't hit it off w the ladies. Real women like a man that can actually have a conversation. Your like a straw house. Now go w your buddies play your video games, circle jerk and talk about how college education is over rated and how women belong in the kitchen.

Don't feel like using tact?
You couldn't use tact if you ended up in jail. Do you think I'm going to buy that? Though NO ONE mentioned anything about tact!

You've never been w a woman that can hold a decent conversation (it takes two to tango) *smile to myself*

Pay attention to you? Your the stereotypical dumb az.... completely transparent and obviously predictable. You couldn't lead someone on longer than a sentence. You make one statement and your figured out! Lol

Interest in you?

When someone makes a retarded statement, just bc THEY have issues w themselves I take the opportunity to drag them through the mud.
I don't appreciate ignorant statements, stupid ppl irritate me. They are pathetic and low. The worse part is they don't hold themselves accountable. Why? Bc they don't THINK.

Obviously it got you thinking and hopefully it will change you for the better.

"dude, what kind of father are you to have raised such a slut?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OMG, thats funny 😄

Fundal you are crazy ... but your stories are entertaining none the less LOL!

FUCK ALL COCK BLOCKERS!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOL!!!!!!

whether they are cabbies, or any work in any other profession that's crappy...

Hey, be nice dude 🙂

I know why you haven't changed. You don't find yourself accountable bc your thinking ability is not there.

As for riled up... no I have thinking abilities. I don't get riled up. I have communication skills. Ppl who get riled up are pathetic. 2 yo's get riled up.

Anyhow that was wrong of me to say that it should change you for the better. You have the right to be whomever you are. Bc at the end of the day it's all on you. So if you like who you are then I have to respect that. So I apologize for that statement. I can say some v condescending things and mean it but not sth like that. That was too personal.

That was another retarded statement. But if it makes you feel better to be someone your not over the internet, that's on you. Your not doing yourself any justice; actually you'd suffer the most.... just feeding your inability to truly have a decent life. Lie to yourself over the internet, I feel bad for you.

How can you make a statement like that "not accountable" tangibly as in an obvious way? It eventually will be obviously tangible in many ways. But you'd probably be too stupid to see all it's affects in your life.

LOL!!! This is quality shit. I don't know who this llorei is but she's funny. I already like her.

GB, sorry but she's winning 6-0 🙂

Nice try

If you think this is an arguement then you're a wuss. This is not me arguing. I
I'm being totally fair and respectful. Your sort of arguements aren't logical. I'm sure every arguement you've been in is emotion based. it's the only route you can go bc your analytical skills are totally random. Like I said nice try.

Lol
All that emotion!
Stop crying and resorting to emotion

It's pathetic!

Well-spoken?

Thank you for the compliment!

You ape!

I'm not lazy I actually do things w my life!

You obviously do yourself in and don't need any help in messing up your own life. With that said I would definitely be the same way in person. If you were stupid enough to touch me in person, I'd look you right in the eye w a smile on my face and tell you "hope you enjoy dicc up your az and in your mouth", especially over sth that's not even an arguement. Trust me there's not an ounce of fear in this woman. Just bc your too STUPID verbalize or formulate a sentence, you want to get physical, fine by me... pathetic, but that's on you lol

@ roxanne:

lol


@ virgotme:

i doubt the aquarius love of my life who even though i have not seen for the past 4 months has become my "ex" considering the fact that she just sent me a text message saying the following:

"Hey Sweety, first of all: I love you! Second thing you need to know: there's not a single day passing by where I'm not thinking about you...love you, have a good n8"


i see you have been reading my e-book that is still awaiting completion entitled "Aquarius For Dummies" over on the aqua board...

been enjoying my work, have you?

join the club..if you google "Aquarius For Dummies" you may (or may not) be pleasantly surprised!

either way, that doesn't mean that "Aquarius For Dummies" isn't all the rage!


and as i emphatically state in my aforementioned e-book, an aquarius woman full of love AND games as she is, is NOT for the weak and faint of heart....

and virgotme,

for the virgo that you claim to be you are oh so sloppy!

your humor and jokes are as stale as a 3/4 inch disc that is floppy

and like a GOOD habit, since you've picked me up, you can't seem to drop me!

did you ever think a high school drop out bully like you could ever e-stop me?


@ greatbull:

you are on your own on the whole "hanging out with dudes talking about video games" bs, and i must say that everything else you say that you do with guys, you can ALSO do with girls and have the additional benefit of a beautiful muse in which to express yourself whether physically or in your imagination (if you are hanging out with HOT chicks that is..)....


and you are right..there is nothing wrong with having male friends, but i just don't take it the the level of most guys..i much more prefer the company of women...


@ llorei:

*ahem*

let me recalculate...

*crunches numbers*


it is STILL your 2nd day as "llorei" on dxp and you have posted 14 messages since i last logged on ALL of which were DEDICATED to ME!

so that makes a grand total of 18 messages, 17 of which were DEDICATED to ME!

your vain persistence, total tactlessness and propensity towards vile and venomous spewings of emotional hatred for your fellow dxp e-colleagues is reprehensible...

are you sure you are not a virgo?

but then again, you definitely are not a credible scorpio being that you created this account for the sole, specific purpose of FLAMING ME!

i hurt you...fess up already...

reveal your e-self for you who truly e-are...

you are truly NOT one to speak of e-ntegrity or INTEGRITY for that matter when you can't even manage to muster the ovaries in your barren, most likely VIRGO reproductive shitstem..

lol @ the one who chastises another for being e-fake when that one's whole entire e-xistance is based upon a FICTION....

and i am not a bartender you e-diot, i am a BOUNCER...


reading is FUNDAMENTAL..

and if i had misspelled (which i DID NOT) M-E-T-E-O-R-O-L-O-G-I-S-T in the body of the thread as i did in the title due to a TYPO, then you would have a more viable claim of me being unable to spell the word, which i am obviously NOT...

and just like i bounce douche bags out of bars i e-bounce pms prone pattycakes like you out of you regular dxp skivvies into a TOTALLY NEW E-SUIT tailored and designed with the intention of attracting my attention in order to receive some twisted sort of self-validation...


llorie, why are you going around acting so whorey?

you are cheating on me with greatbull when you made it clear you are here for MY stories..

now you're so intimate with him, he knows you are on your menses and all other personal details that are gory..

please log off and go and read a book because now you are starting to bore me,

if you can get through a chapter with your feeble brain, come back and tell me about it, then you will REALLY have scored BIG!


@ cappysweetie:

i can live with being crazy..

what i CAN'T live with is being normal and boring..

and driving a cab IS a crappy profession..

i don't think any cab driver you talk to on a real, personal level will admit that he LIKES driving a cab for a living...

Can you read you dimwit? They're not to you.
Nice assumption btw... I just found this site yesterday.

Noticed the usage of your word, but you over did it. It was obvious. Next time don't try so hard. And use them in a natural fashion.

lol @ the one who chastises another for being e-fake when that one's whole entire e-xistance is based upon a FICTION....

and i am not a bartender you e-diot, i am a BOUNCER...


reading is FUNDAMENTAL..

and if i had misspelled (which i DID NOT) M-E-T-E-O-R-O-L-O-G-I-S-T in the body of the thread as i did in the title due to a TYPO, then you would have a more viable claim of me being unable to spell the word, which i am obviously NOT...

and just like i bounce douche bags out of bars i e-bounce pms prone pattycakes like you out of you regular dxp skivvies into a TOTALLY NEW E-SUIT tailored and designed with the intention of attracting my attention in order to receive some twisted sort of self-validation...


llorie, why are you going around acting so whorey?

you are cheating on me with greatbull when you made it clear you are here for MY stories..

now you're so intimate with him, he knows you are on your menses and all other personal details that are gory..

please log off and go and read a book because now you are starting to bore me,

if you can get through a chapter with your feeble brain, come back and tell me about it, then you will REALLY have scored BIG!


@ cappysweetie:

i can live with being crazy..

what i CAN'T live with is being normal and boring..

and driving a cab IS a crappy profession..

i don't think any cab driver you talk to on a real, personal level will admit that he LIKES driving a cab for a living...

Haha a bouncer? Like that's any better?

Get a real job, loser.

what's the matter, WHOREY?

you spent all your time giving up your goods to greatbull and giving dxp free vouyeuristic vaginal viewings of your vagina on MY watch and now its time for me to have my turn and you have run out of steam?


what a gyp!

a real job?

like whatever YOU do, right?

what DO you do again?


i mean, of course since we are all being so honest and have so much e-ntegrity you don't mind saying what you do, do you?

and i am not a bouncer because they pay me well, Whorey..i do it for the PERKS if you couldnt realize that by now..

how is that book coming along?

hey man, do your thing...

don't mind me...

Bc of the perks, w/e you're just too lazy and stupid to get a real job. That makes no sense- for the perks. Lol, dumbaz that doesn't make sense.

I place physicians and surgeons primarily. I do any executive level placements. I also invest.

whoa..i just skimmed through the thread and though i know dxp's server can be slow and whacky at times, it really did a job on me just now!

posting incomplete messages and double posts and all sorts of shit...


Whorey, what i was saying before i was so unceremoniously interrupted by dxp's shitty server,

you are truly NOT one to speak of e-ntegrity or INTEGRITY for that matter when you can't even manage to muster the ovaries in your barren, most likely VIRGO reproductive butterstem TO POST UNDER YOUR REAL DXP ALIAS...


*takes deep breath*

i feel much better now...

and Whorey, i am clapping for you with two fingers for you totally BORING career moves..

Are you REALLY going to try and convince me you ARE NOT a virgo working with you working in the health-care profession and all?

placing physicians aka filing and sorting (menial, robotic labor that is virgo's specialty) and you aren't a virgo?

gimme an e-break, will ya?

i bet you do those "executive level placements" as an executive ASSISTANT now don't you?

come on now..i KNOW you gotta be a virgo!

tell everyone what your REAL dxp alias is...

Ha pathetic.

You make no sense. Focus you brainless bouncer. Stay on topic and stop pulling random assumptions out of your az.

Are you sure you and your butt buddy aren't the same person?

Nope I actually place the candidates myself. I have my clients, a database, I post jobs on monster, do the interviewing... I deal w all the aspects.

Can you read or not? I said that I invest!

I have a life a-thank you. I just happen to have the internet on my cell.

Boring career moves?

Bc you actually have to do sth and work for it? Boring to you is obviously using your brain and facing reality.

W/e cell phones and technology makes for better business. Better for efficiency and is the most effective route. It's imperative to be connected.

Some ppl depending on their field can get away w not being connected. I personally love being connected, bc I love technology. I have not ran into any down sides. Actually the opposite, pluses across the board for technology!