how can i get this scorpio that has a boyfriend?

there was this girl that i met when i was like 14 or 15. she was the first girl i had a crush on. i was young so i was just discovering that girls liked me and i was intimidated by her.i was still a virgin when i met her. she liked me and wasn't too timid about it. she would say how she wanted to dump her boyfriend for me. i was pretty clueless so i promptly got a different girlfriend and started having sex. i pushed her away because i didnt understand my feelings. here i had this amazing little girl that liked me for some reason i couldnt understand and who was making me feel things i have never felt before. then eventually she was gone for a long time then in February i saw her on the street in the city where i go to college. i had heard that she went there but i was sure i would never see her. i got her number cause she was looking so damn fine. i didnt think much of it.
by chance i just texted her on valentines day to ask her how her's was. it was just a spur of the moment thing. then i asked her if she had a boyfriend and she was like nope. then she kept texting me and i was responding but i expected her to drop off and lose interest as is expected in text conversations. i guess it was that little thing she had for me a long time ago coming out a little bit. pretty soon after that there was a flood of feelings that had been locked up deep inside me forever i guess. mostly about her.
being the idiot i am i said something stupid and she got pissed. so then she would just either ignore me or try to show how tough she is with her icyness. so basically i just put myself out there completely to her and it was pretty embarrassing for me. i explained to her that she was the girl i always wanted both literally and figuratively. she just kept shooting me down and making me feel worse and worse. so i finally just told her something that i had been trying to hold back until i could be face to face with her and then i told her i give up. so now after like 5 months now that i have given up she is finally starting to warm up to the idea i think. of course she wont give me any indication as to the level of her response but it is positive. problem is that sometime during all this work that i did to get her to trust me again she got back with some guy she had a history with. 3 years she said.

so now i think i am finally starting to understand that all that arguing and me trying to reason with her made my surrender all that more important to her i believe. its like when i try to just quit she finally starts to act like she dosent want me too leave. i wasnt playing a game with her. it was genuine. i have done this type of thing before many times but it was just a game. my venus is in aries so when i like a girl i just go right for her. usually they dont even believe what i am saying. so then at that point i withdraw up into my airy gemini self and they become enamored. when i did that with her it was real. i really want her to like me.
for a long time she just wouldnt believe that i could want her. she couldnt understand that i want her out of any girl no matter how hard the circumstances are. so now that she is tempted, is there anything i can do to get myself into her head and switch her focus off of her boyfriend?

it seems like she just wants me to treat her like just another girl. seems like she wants me to act like a player cause i do act like that. deep down i'm not at all though. i would have thought she wanted me to be real with her.

^^I second that.


I guess you have to build trust the old fashioned way with time.

i'm not even trying to save anyone. what are you talking about jerkov? i just want to increase temptation.

i have my reasons. i dont have to justify myself to you.

LOL

You want to tempt the Temptress. 😉

How much money do you have? How on point are your sex skills? How soon can you "kind of sorta" belong to someone? Oh and then there's that balls thing, you'll need more than the two she has in the jar...

I'm almost certain that keeping you from giving up has an ulterior motive. More than just sucking up the attention. I just don't know how she's planning to manipulate you with your undivided attention just yet. Could be to make you pay for not giving her a chance then, and then being an "idiot" recently.

Hopefully, someone will chime in soon.

Evan, i am coming for your girlfriend next.

she told me that a chipmunk gave her multiple orgasms with his huge rod the other day

so u must be HUGE to her

You weren't a challenge to her it seems. From what you said, you kind of put it all out on the table in the begining. Maybe it's just me, but sometimes you need to have a bit of a challenge because if not, everything else is too easy and thus too easily taken for granted. I don't think she is trying to manipulate you, honestly-- but you never know with people this day and age. You said she has three years of history with the other guy, so you can't really throw that out the window to begin with. Being a scorpio female, I can kind of see where she is coming from in a way. She does seem to have something for you though, or she wouldn't keep you around, unless you are reading her signals wrong. Are you speculating that she likes you or did she say so?

"i said something stupid and she got pissed."

What did you say? She's obviously stinging you for it, so it must have been pretty bad...at least from her perspective. She won't come around until she decides you've been sufficiently punished.

what's with all the man-love on this thread?

crabtank: ignore her. sure fire way to a scorpio's heart if she has an ounce of attraction to you. make like she's invisible and all the other girls are the opposite.

imo, i think it's a waste of time. why do you want to steal her from anyone anyway? if you do something like that, it will come and bite you in the ass at some point.

i imagine you are an amusing source of entertainment for her if nothing else 🙂

yeah no thats what i did. i ignored her and now she acts different. amusing source of entertainment? we will see about that. i mean thats fine u know. plenty of girls like me. so i am just going to bring that to her attention. the mistake i made was pretending like she was the last girl on the planet. however this plan serves a dual purpose. i am in the process of trying to change my relationship pattern from one night stands and short flings to long term things. so i told myself i want going to screw around because that was one of my destructive patterns. i just flirted with any girl that i thought was attracted. now i have gotten it narrowed down to 2 maybe 3 girls that i would consider girlfriend material. being as she is the type of girl that i want i am just going to ask her advice on some of these other girls. so either way she gets jealous or i get some good advice from someone who knows better than me about this type of thing. win win situation.

yeah sea siren. i made a joke about her past. then she got pissed and was like i dont care about what you or anyone says about me. i never think about the past or anyone from my past blah blah this is a waste of time. so i apologized and told her she was taking it the wrong way and she just said she didnt care. i took that to mean she really didnt care so i forgot about it. then we got into some argument like a couple of weeks later and she was basically insulting me and then she brought that up and i was like, really? your still pissed about that? so then i apologized the next day but i was like, "i'm sorry i shouldnt have said that but if you think i am a dick head then there is no reason for me to even be here talking to you." so right when im about to get up and walk away she starts asking questions and stuff. like she thought i was a cold and calculating bastard. like she thought my whole motive was to cause her harm. i was taken off guard and told her it wasnt like that and she was like "well i guess i misread you"
i know she is confused by me. but yeah i dont know. i think she might like me. i mean how could she not when i am telling her all the things she has always wanted to hear? currently i am ignoring her though.

yeah i had to lay everything out at the beginning because i knew if i didnt then she wouldnt trust me at all considering how mean i was in the past. so i am having to work backwards here. good thing i am at a point where i can withdraw now.

you make it sound like a game. perhaps that is the right attitude to have but it may come off as insincere.

He sounds very ---...I can see her doubts.
You still have much growing to do, but good start.

"she just said she didnt care."

Oh, young Jedi. *pet*pet* Whenever a woman says this and she's pissed...she means the opposite. Although you say you're not a player, she has most likely heard from others about your reputation and doesn't trust you as far as she could throw you. Scorps are suspicious beings. They MUST trust their partner and they will test you until you prove yourself. They also go to extremes. There's no middle-of-the-road. So if she has brought what you said up in another argument, well whatever you said most likely hurt her feelings a great deal. If she's heard that you've been getting around...she's even more pissed off that you would bring up her past, if yours is quite colorful also. They will do that to YOU, but you're not allowed to. Well, some of them will..not all of them. Okay, MOST of 'em.

I do think keeping your distance as Agent suggested is your best course of action. She'll come around, but it could be a looooong time. There's nothing like a stalemate with a Scorpio. It can last for ages. They have a knack for coming back when you no longer care, but really, anything else you could do would make you look weak to her.

And thus concludeth our first lesson. Now go stand on your head. 🙂

im a lot of things to a lot of people

i'm hot tho.

crabtank, a little secret about us scorp girls when we are with someone we love we stick like glue... An earthquake can't divide us, and definitey not another man.

So true Queenscorp!! Are the Scorpio men like that too?

yea but shes number one in the top three. its not like i am doing that for no reason. the reason i am like that is because when i finally commit to someone i want to make sure that its the right one because i dont want to end up hurting her like i did to so many others in the past. i want to do it the right way this time. if that makes me a jack ass then sign me up. plus from what i have heard scorpio women like guys who act like players because it lets them know that the guy is desirable. i find this insane but whatever. the ends justify the means. why is it so hard to believe that i have different ways of dealing with different girls but i want to be completely good to this particular one?

"i am in the process of trying to change my relationship pattern from one night stands and short flings to long term things. so i told myself i want going to screw around because that was one of my destructive patterns. i just flirted with any girl that i thought was attracted"

-That right there would tell me that you're not boyfriend material. I personally would never go near a guy like that. You say you're 'trying to change' your relationship pattern... try again when you actually have changed.

"shes number one in the top three"

-If someone were interested in me, I would want to be the only one on their list.

"why is it so hard to believe that i have different ways of dealing with different girls but i want to be completely good to this particular one?"

What did the others do to deserve being treated like shit? It doesn't really sound to me like you're anywhere near ready to be in a relationship, and that you have issues with disrespecting women in general. A Scorpio will never tolerate that. Yes, some of them are drawn to "bad boy" types, but what I've noticed with my Scorpio girlfriends is that one of their favorite aspects of that relationship is putting alpha males in their place and tormenting them. They feel these types need to be taken down a peg or two, and they're just the women to do it.

I have to add to what j_d_ wrote above, b/c I think it's a big deal..

To me, it won't matter how well we've gotten along, or how much fun we've had, or just how great the chemistry is... if I find that the guy's interested in someone else, MY interest immediately vanishes. I mean I'm outta there buddy, and I couldn't care less if the guy was interested in me the most... It completely overrides anything that was great between us.

it's not that i disrespect women. its just that i feel differently about different ones. i dont treat women badly. its just that certain women blow me away. no i'm not boyfriend material. i'm not the type of guy that is naturally good boyfriend material. it takes much more effort for me.

i'm not like you people. i am not a scorpio. i am a gemini. i dont grow in a linear pattern. i grow outward like a star. if i care about someone then thats not going to change no matter what direction i eventually go off in. i'm not dating anyone. i cant just sit there and say ok i want this girl and go after her only because i'm not going to know what i want untill i see what else is out there. so now i know that i want this girl. yeah i do. it's a 50-50 chance though.

what you are telling me is to invest everything in a shot in the dark. give her enough power to ruin my life and leave me with nothing. thats what i should do? go against everything and risk it all. i would do that for her and only her. i am afraid though.

Crabtank,

The Scorpio-Gemini dynamic is a strange one. I find Geminis to be cute, funny, and gregarious. I also find them to be indecisive, always changing, shallow and surprisingly positive and carefree about everything. My brother-in-law and cousin are Gems. I like both of them, but to be honest, there's parts of my cousin that I generally dismiss because she's a Gem.

Kind of reminds me of that Joe Stickler fella who showed up here one time and pulled a Gemini. Of course I ripped him for being stupid and annoying. Turns out, he's a fairly intelligent and thoughtful fellow. He just had one of those Gemini moments that I find distasteful.

If you go up against this Scorpia, she will own your ass. You are no match for her as evident in your fear and willingness to be owned "just for her." And you will not fulfill her. And don't think she'll give it up easily for you because that's not gonna happen either.

Sorry.

fuck it then. thats her loss.

i have struggled with this for my entire life. i want to have a girlfriend but its too hard and then i just go out and get laid.

Chicks create drama. If you can't handle it (a la Gemini), it'll be tough.

"i am afraid though."

That's the wrong attitude to get into a relationship with a scorpio.

You wont make it past...well...you just wont make it.

scorpio rising. you will dismiss a gemini for the same reason they will dismiss a scorpio for being too sensitive. you could learn a lot from gemini people.

alright then. i am not afraid. fuck it. whatever happens happens. you scorpions can pray and pray for my downfall but every time i hit the ground i bounce up like roundball

"Tap into ur venus in aries, and tell her how u truly feel, as bluntly and honestly as you can. Lay it all out there and tell her the ball is in her court, then leave her alone."

I definitely would not do what MsP is recommending. Hope springs eternal in Neptune.

i quote it when appropriate yes.

what Ms Pisces is saying is consistent with what i think. what do you think i should do scorpio rising? seems like you say i should give up. you are convinced i wouldnt be able to satisfy her. you are wrong.

"you are wrong."

That's the spirit!

As mentioned in another thread, I think you may have a promising career in porn. But if you want to pursue the Scorpia, you should PM Joe Stickler and compare notes.

porn?

You should also read Sagalicious' posts and possibly PM him for his perspective. Maybe he'll give you tips on dealing with obsession or vice-versa, which I find to be rather cute for a Gem and Sag.

dont even bother. he is fixed in his opinion. i am an obsessed weirdo.

well i think its cute that scorpios are bogged down in an emotional swamp and cant have fun sometimes. i just want to show them that life can be serious and light hearted at the same time.

it's fine. i know how scorpios can be. i am above the insanity.

so the question is when do i go forward with this? i've created a lot of suspense here.

you know the reason why i like this girl? shes as pretty on the inside as she is on the outside. thats hard to find. you scorpio people should understand this better than anyone else. its not that i disrespect anyone. i just know that the world is an ugly place and there are a lot of people with ugly souls out there. they choose that though. if you love someone for who they are then wouldn't you say they are worth committing yourself too? dont scorpios always want to devote themselves to the people who they love? i feel misunderstood.

How old are you?

what does that matter?

i'm actually over 9000