hellosaggy
@hellosaggy
8 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius
Comments: 32 · Posts: 1601 · Topics: 87
I need a scorp ladies advice, on a sting.
not a scorp lady, but the important thing is - is it literally true? Would you rather have none than just 15% ? If so, stick to your guns. If it was just an attempt to manipulate though, that will usually receive the same in turn; a Scorp will just double down. Honesty/vulnerability/directness is usually the best course of action with a Scorp. So instead, maybe you should've tried: "I'm sorry I've been distant. I'm having a hard time because I want more out of our relationship than you're able to give right now." Subtle but important difference in language in that the threat of abandonment (which your absence of late already implied) is gone. Its not that we can't read between the lines of what you're feeling; she's just already put on the defensive by what your actions are showing and now your words cement them.
this is not a sting btw....its just her respecting your clearly expressed desires....
not be harsh but I see a lot of this kind of bluffer's remorse turned to blame-shifting on this board....
not be harsh but I see a lot of this kind of bluffer's remorse turned to blame-shifting on this board....
I'm pretty sure that hurt her feelings, it seemed kind of jarring and blunt. But it sounds like you said what you meant, and she picked a lane.
Oh it's not bluffer's remorse at all. I'm done with the back and forth from the last few months.
Yes, it is true. I don't want her as a buddy/friend. I'm dating now and I'd drop them all for her, but not for this crap that we've been doing the last few months. Seeing and talking to her still pulls at me. It's either you are in or out. Trust me its not one-sided. She won't drop the bf so its good-bye. She's even joked with me about past things we've done sexually and on our travels.
She feels like we shouldn't stop talking because we have great chemistry and similar interest, so we should be friends at least. that's not a damn compromise.
Yes, it is true. I don't want her as a buddy/friend. I'm dating now and I'd drop them all for her, but not for this crap that we've been doing the last few months. Seeing and talking to her still pulls at me. It's either you are in or out. Trust me its not one-sided. She won't drop the bf so its good-bye. She's even joked with me about past things we've done sexually and on our travels.
She feels like we shouldn't stop talking because we have great chemistry and similar interest, so we should be friends at least. that's not a damn compromise.
Posted by hellosaggyIf that's true, there's not much more to be said then. If its really goodbye though, why are you asking if its "enough to get her to really think on it" and "is this her 'sting' goodbye"? That just doesn't sound like a real goodbye, but an attempt at manipulation.
Yes, it is true. I don't want her as a buddy/friend.....She won't drop the bf so its good-bye.
I guess its wait and see then. You'll find out whether or not your abandonment threat is enough to get her to leave her man. Its probably not if she was only giving 15% to you.
so you abandoned her once, and are threatening that again to get her back....I don't think it will work. She knows what that feels like and knows she can handle it....plus now she's losing a lot less of you than before...
...but let me not be too pessimistic...maybe you get a greater percentage of her out of this....
...but let me not be too pessimistic...maybe you get a greater percentage of her out of this....
no its my way of telling her I'm not doing the fence thing anymore. I've done my work the last 3 months rekindling but I can't keep doing the back and forth.
So yeah maybe it hurt and she responded, and its how she truly feels or its making her think if she wants us to completely sever.
I did not abandon her by choice. she was the most important person in my life for me. leaving her hurt me more than anything.
So yeah maybe it hurt and she responded, and its how she truly feels or its making her think if she wants us to completely sever.
I did not abandon her by choice. she was the most important person in my life for me. leaving her hurt me more than anything.
Posted by EllygantThis 10/10 is literally everything you needed. Great answer, my thoughts exactly!Posted by hellosaggyLook bro. I have the same sun and moon as this chick. Ive been following your threads for a few months now and I’m not saying your wrong.
Oh it's not bluffer's remorse at all. I'm done with the back and forth from the last few months.
Yes, it is true. I don't want her as a buddy/friend. I'm dating now and I'd drop them all for her, but not for this crap that we've been doing the last few months. Seeing and talking to her still pulls at me. It's either you are in or out. Trust me its not one-sided. She won't drop the bf so its good-bye. She's even joked with me about past things we've done sexually and on our travels.
She feels like we shouldn't stop talking because we have great chemistry and similar interest, so we should be friends at least. that's not a damn compromise.
You left. No word.
She moved on.
You came back, which surprised her. She had to face all the feelings she gave up on.
She faced them, and still chose the guy she moved on with.
Then she starts trying to rebuild the connection. Likely to see if she can slip right back into something with you if things go south with this guy.
You have feelings and a little bit of guilt for having left her, so you entertain the back and forth.
You finally deal with the reality she hasn’t chosen you and put a boundary up and say what you want, definitively.
She still chooses the other guy and agrees to back off.
If she was worth investing your emotional energy into, she would have, at any point, chosen you. But she hasn’t. So, in some way, she still is unable to get past the fact you left. And that’s your cue to leave this in the past. Why would you want to dump more emotional thought into someone who can’t grow with you? You’re wasting energy saggy.
Come on dude. Move on. Stop wasting happiness by chasing failed chemistry. It prevents you from being open to something real.click to expand
Posted by hellosaggyShe's probably too afraid of that hurt, and too aware of her ability to get past it, to be afraid of it in a lesser form though.
no its my way of telling her I'm not doing the fence thing anymore. I've done my work the last 3 months rekindling but I can't keep doing the back and forth.
So yeah maybe it hurt and she responded, and its how she truly feels or its making her think if she wants us to completely sever.
I did not abandon her by choice. she was the most important person in my life for me. leaving her hurt me more than anything.
I'm telling you - don't get in these kind of standoffs with Scorps. We are too stubborn and proud. We'll take the death, and make it through to the other side. Just lay it out honestly/openly, without any appearance of threat, just saying what you can and cannot do for your own emotional well-being, and accept her decision. If its not enough for you, then move on for real and don't concern your self with her response. If she won't leave her man for you, that has to say something. And really, any concession she does give, that is less than that, will be really easy for her to work right back into the same position you're in now.
Let's see, you abandoned her, expected her to jump back with you, but she moved on. Decided she would ride it out with a guy that didn't abandon her, and then basically say all or nothing, (essentially threatening to abandon her again, but in a friend way now) and you didn't see the outcome of her not sticking around?
K.
K.
Posted by nikkistar
Let's see, you abandoned her, expected her to jump back with you, but she moved on. Decided she would ride it out with a guy that didn't abandon her, and then basically say all or nothing, (essentially threatening to abandon her again, but in a friend way now)
Posted by tizianishe is so impressive...lolPosted by nikkistarLmao
Let's see, you abandoned her, expected her to jump back with you, but she moved on. Decided she would ride it out with a guy that didn't abandon her, and then basically say all or nothing, (essentially threatening to abandon her again, but in a friend way now) and you didn't see the outcome of her not sticking around?
K.
click to expand
Posted by tizianilol...she needs her own show, with access to polygraphs....set should be like a police interrogation room....audience watching through the one way mirror....Posted by MetatronIt makes a lot of sense, like life just got put into an Excel spreadsheet.Posted by tizianishe is so impressive...lolPosted by nikkistarLmao
Let's see, you abandoned her, expected her to jump back with you, but she moved on. Decided she would ride it out with a guy that didn't abandon her, and then basically say all or nothing, (essentially threatening to abandon her again, but in a friend way now) and you didn't see the outcome of her not sticking around?
K.
click to expand
Posted by MetatronThanks lol
this is not a sting btw....its just her respecting your clearly expressed desires....
not be harsh but I see a lot of this kind of bluffer's remorse turned to blame-shifting on this board....
Posted by hellosaggy
my ex-scorp, who has had a year long boyfriend just texted me asking how I've been as we haven't talked for a few weeks.
I simply responded.
"Look...I'm sorry I've been distant, its just. I'd rather have none of you than just 15% of you"
to which she responded:
"Well goodbye. thank you for everything. Good luck with your life."
I think I probably hurt her with that line. she replied back quickly with her response. I doubt she really feels that way after knowing each other 5 years and building the bond we had. She's been trying to be friends(while denying our connection) for the last few months I've been back, but I'm really done with the fake friendship.
you think that's enough to get her to really think on it, or is this her "sting" goodbye. I personally haven't done anything wrong by her.
Ha. SCORPIO. Depends
You left her but yet say
you want more than 15.
We are all or nothing so
you leaving made her go
to another man who may
be more stable in actions
and character.
You do not get to say what
you want from us after you
left in the first place.
She may be holding on for
a chance of rekindling for
the future with you, indeed.
If we had good times with
a person we felt something
for, we do not want to throw
them nor memories away.
Thank you and goodbye is
Scorpio simply respecting
your wishes, because once
we see something will not
work out, we do move on.
Both of you must mature.
If you wanted her honestly
you would not have left her.
No one has to wait nor take
you back when you show up.
you want more than 15.
We are all or nothing so
you leaving made her go
to another man who may
be more stable in actions
and character.
You do not get to say what
you want from us after you
left in the first place.
She may be holding on for
a chance of rekindling for
the future with you, indeed.
If we had good times with
a person we felt something
for, we do not want to throw
them nor memories away.
Thank you and goodbye is
Scorpio simply respecting
your wishes, because once
we see something will not
work out, we do move on.
Both of you must mature.
If you wanted her honestly
you would not have left her.
No one has to wait nor take
you back when you show up.
Too self absorbed
to see from where
Scorpio is coming.
Everything is about
what you want only.
Unfairness does not
bother you until you
feel it on your side.
She is not the typical.
Any other Scorp girl
would ignore you and
keep the door closed.
She loves you but no
trust is there anymore
relationship wise, ne.
You are lucky to have
such a forgiving friend.
Is rare for any Scorpio.
to see from where
Scorpio is coming.
Everything is about
what you want only.
Unfairness does not
bother you until you
feel it on your side.
She is not the typical.
Any other Scorp girl
would ignore you and
keep the door closed.
She loves you but no
trust is there anymore
relationship wise, ne.
You are lucky to have
such a forgiving friend.
Is rare for any Scorpio.
Posted by Ellygantagreed, scorp here
Dude that’s not a sting. That you giving her a boundary. And her following it. She literally thanked you lol.
Considering the highly immature back and forth you two have been having for months consider this a small victory for you both. She’s going to try to let go so you can move on. So let her. And if she tried to rope you in again while she still has a boyfriend then just copy paste that text.
Don’t try to game or analyze. Just move on and be happy Dude.
Posted by Ellygantohhhh you left? thats a major negative. She clearly still has feelings for you and isn't totally happy with dude number 2 but you CANNNOT, I repeat CANNOOOTTT come back after leaving and demand your place in her life again. lol wtf. You must be nuts and also Scorpios, we are stubborn. You fucked up, you left. That will always be a stain in the relationship. Might as well move on tbhPosted by hellosaggyLook bro. I have the same sun and moon as this chick. Ive been following your threads for a few months now and I’m not saying your wrong.
Oh it's not bluffer's remorse at all. I'm done with the back and forth from the last few months.
Yes, it is true. I don't want her as a buddy/friend. I'm dating now and I'd drop them all for her, but not for this crap that we've been doing the last few months. Seeing and talking to her still pulls at me. It's either you are in or out. Trust me its not one-sided. She won't drop the bf so its good-bye. She's even joked with me about past things we've done sexually and on our travels.
She feels like we shouldn't stop talking because we have great chemistry and similar interest, so we should be friends at least. that's not a damn compromise.
You left. No word.
She moved on.
You came back, which surprised her. She had to face all the feelings she gave up on.
She faced them, and still chose the guy she moved on with.
Then she starts trying to rebuild the connection. Likely to see if she can slip right back into something with you if things go south with this guy.
You have feelings and a little bit of guilt for having left her, so you entertain the back and forth.
You finally deal with the reality she hasn’t chosen you and put a boundary up and say what you want, definitively.
She still chooses the other guy and agrees to back off.
If she was worth investing your emotional energy into, she would have, at any point, chosen you. But she hasn’t. So, in some way, she still is unable to get past the fact you left. And that’s your cue to leave this in the past. Why would you want to dump more emotional thought into someone who can’t grow with you? You’re wasting energy saggy.
Come on dude. Move on. Stop wasting happiness by chasing failed chemistry. It prevents you from being open to something real.click to expand
Posted by Sodapopalso truuuu. I guess if you really want her just be upfront, honest and clear. And why the f did you leave—— theres no explanation really.
Seriously seriously seriously, a little bit of honestly, directness and sincerety will go a LONG way with a Scorpio woman. Don’t play games with us, we will panic and freak out and we will run and hide, especially if we’ve given you many chances before.
If you like her, just tell her. You don’t have to emotion vomit all over her, just send her again and apologize and explain yourself, hopefully over a phone call and not text so she can hear the tone of your voice and trust it more.
Something going on for 5 years and no reward will burn anyone out, so I get where you’re coming from, but do you realize what happened? She’s also burnt out by it but yet she reached out and tried.
And got rejected.
vomit. vomit. vomit. I love emotional vomit. Just don't whine and be a wimp. theres a difference
still clueless as ever lol. drop your ego and self first nonsense, and see her in her entirety. just because you can't always steamroll people and get what you want doesn't mean it's any of her fault. you set the stage for all of this shit, dude. just be glad she isn't me. you would've been dead to me as soon as you left without word. your communication sucks, your way of handling things suck, yet you think she is supposed to play this your way lmao. learn fast or learn the hard way. she wants to be friends, nothing more. you're not stable nor trustworthy yet, so there will be nothing more than that.
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I simply responded.
"Look...I'm sorry I've been distant, its just. I'd rather have none of you than just 15% of you"
to which she responded:
"Well goodbye. thank you for everything. Good luck with your life."
I think I probably hurt her with that line. she replied back quickly with her response. I doubt she really feels that way after knowing each other 5 years and building the bond we had. She's been trying to be friends(while denying our connection) for the last few months I've been back, but I'm really done with the fake friendship.
you think that's enough to get her to really think on it, or is this her "sting" goodbye. I personally haven't done anything wrong by her.