I was accused of being High Maintenance

A Man that texts me occasionally and is a friend of my brother's called me high maintenance the other day. I met him because he has a cabin at the same lake my brother does and came over last summer to drink around the fire with a bunch of us.
Fellow Scorp's what does 'High Maintenance' mean and what vibe could I be putting out there that someone would consider me high maintenance?

Lol, OK! "I just want it the way I want it".... might apply, maybe, just a little but shhhh don't tell anyone K? 😏 So Low Maintenance does not care how it is?

You have a new Avi IS, I like it!

Posted by IrresistableScorp

Posted by FixedWater
Lol, OK! "I just want it the way I want it".... might apply, maybe, just a little but shhhh don't tell anyone K? 😏 So Low Maintenance does not care how it is?

You have a new Avi IS, I like it!

Meg Ryan--Scorpio. We are high maintenance but we think we're low maintenance. Hey it takes ALL kinds to make the world go round, right?

Or if you prefer--lovable pains in the arses. (that's my story and I'm sticking with it)

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Scorpio accused me of being high maintenance because I'm a cancer. The way I see it, I'm low maintenance in the beauty department; I don't dye my hair, I rarely actually style it, it's all wash and go, let the curls do their wild thing. I don't put on a ton of makeup, just a little on the eyes, a hint on the lips. I'm not high maintenance on clothes, but I like expensive high quality classic pieces. I AM high maintenance when it comes to emotions and the relationship. But in a good way. lol

Scorpio gives off a really confident vibe. They have an air of royalty around them, and some people are turned off by it. I don't mind it at all; it makes me feel comforted that someone for the most part knows why he/she is doing and that they are confident is sexy. My advice? Don't pay attention to it. If you're having problems with a specific person, address them personally and ask if they're okay or if you've stepped on their toes. Sometimes you might not notice that you have. But honestly you don't need to apologise for something that comes naturally for you, some people are just intimidated by others who know what they want. Just some insight~ feistypisces777

IS, I like loveable pain in the arse. That is very fitting. 😄
Moon, you are a natural beauty and do not need makeup or to style your curly hair. The dude literally has no idea that it takes me max 10 minutes to do my hair and maybe 10 for makeup. My wardrobe is basic jeans and a t-shirt for everyday and at the lake I was probably wearing my trusty but true lumber jacket with the fuzzy warm sheepskin lining. Not a high maintenance look at all.
I agree with you that for me, high maintenance would be more to do with the relationship aspect. I think if their heart is in the right place I would be very easy-going.
feisty, I have never considered this and this is kind of what I was wondering. Is it a 'vibe' about me since I have hardly spent any time with the man it couldn't be because I demanded a trip to Jamaica or some such thing. Lol I notice that when I am in my work boots and jeans with my music blaring on my headphones people come up to me all the time. They even have to tap me on the shoulder to get my attention and they do. When I am dressed for shopping or just out and about in my other clothes no one ever talks to me or approaches me. I would make a good cop. Lol

I cant even help you with some wise words of advice. The only thing I can come up with is some nerd glasses maybe...

Yup, Scorpios are high maintenance. Lots of double standards.

However they are also fair and honest about it..and the pay off is really good, or so I've heard.

Not high maintenance just for the sake of it..high maintenance for a reason.

Oh didn't read your last question.

The vibe out there? Waiting for someone else to prove themselves before you take a chance.

Doesn't help that Scorpios are stand offish at first..it makes people believe no one is good enough for them.

Posted by Whatu

Posted by Whatu
It means he knows he is not up to the plate with you so hes trying to pin the issue on you

Actually, It could be a compliment, saying you deserve to be looked after. But he's not being direct about it.

A Ferrari is high maintenance, while your average car is low maintenance.

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Ooo, good points, Whatu!

Fixed, I think relationships should be high maintenance, in a way. It takes an effort to be patient, understanding and considerate of others and that is what's needed to keep a relationship stable. Maybe water signs are more work because we require more on an emotional level, but the only ones that seem to be complaining about that are the non water signs.

Damnata, I have to consider my potential double standards ... Ahhh, thought of one already in 2 secs. I really never thought I had any but now that you mention it, I do.
I would agree that I am High Maintenance in regards to who gets close to me, and that I have gotten more selective over the years.
I wondered about the vibe and to me this point you make, makes sense, considering that while I am busy working I am not concerned with anything that is going on around me. I'm in my little Zone.

Whatu, the first comment sounds about right. He (from what I hear) is an alchoholic so possibly this comes into play more than anything. I was offended by it, I have been called a few things in my life but never High Maintenance and I think possibly my definition of it might be skewed. He didn't say it in a complimentary way, and I was under the impression all my life that HM is a negative aspect.

LOL.

Mine told me I was high maintenance too.

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by Whatu

Posted by Whatu
It means he knows he is not up to the plate with you so hes trying to pin the issue on you

Actually, It could be a compliment, saying you deserve to be looked after. But he's not being direct about it.

A Ferrari is high maintenance, while your average car is low maintenance.

Ooo, good points, Whatu!

Fixed, I think relationships should be high maintenance, in a way. It takes an effort to be patient, understanding and considerate of others and that is what's needed to keep a relationship stable. Maybe water signs are more work because we require more on an emotional level, but the only ones that seem to be complaining about that are the non water signs.

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We are so funny having coffee and chatting in two places. Lol 😄

I agree that the relationships that seem to be the most rewarding are the ones that require more work. I was considering this very point not 5 minutes ago ....
Non-water signs must have such an easy going love life. I cannot even imagine it.

An, we may have to form a club! Lol 😄

Well really Rabbit. That surprises me in a pleasant way. I have to wonder sometimes why anyone puts up with me.... this gives me a little hope. Lol

Posted by Rabbit
Women worth keeping around are always "high maintenance" IMO

HE SAID THAT TOO! 😱

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by Whatu

Posted by Whatu
It means he knows he is not up to the plate with you so hes trying to pin the issue on you

Actually, It could be a compliment, saying you deserve to be looked after. But he's not being direct about it.

A Ferrari is high maintenance, while your average car is low maintenance.

Ooo, good points, Whatu!

Fixed, I think relationships should be high maintenance, in a way. It takes an effort to be patient, understanding and considerate of others and that is what's needed to keep a relationship stable. Maybe water signs are more work because we require more on an emotional level, but the only ones that seem to be complaining about that are the non water signs.

We are so funny having coffee and chatting in two places. Lol 😄

I agree that the relationships that seem to be the most rewarding are the ones that require more work. I was considering this very point not 5 minutes ago ....
Non-water signs must have such an easy going love life. I cannot even imagine it.

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.... False.

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by Rabbit
Women worth keeping around are always "high maintenance" IMO

HE SAID THAT TOO! 😱

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Haha....Omg! I would make that face too!

So, being a Non-Water sign isn't any easier?

Maybe for other non-water signs it is. But I'm learning that I have a tendency to over complicate things within the emotional realm - whether consciously or subconsciously.

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by Whatu

Posted by Whatu
It means he knows he is not up to the plate with you so hes trying to pin the issue on you

Actually, It could be a compliment, saying you deserve to be looked after. But he's not being direct about it.

A Ferrari is high maintenance, while your average car is low maintenance.

Ooo, good points, Whatu!

Fixed, I think relationships should be high maintenance, in a way. It takes an effort to be patient, understanding and considerate of others and that is what's needed to keep a relationship stable. Maybe water signs are more work because we require more on an emotional level, but the only ones that seem to be complaining about that are the non water signs.

We are so funny having coffee and chatting in two places. Lol 😄

I agree that the relationships that seem to be the most rewarding are the ones that require more work. I was considering this very point not 5 minutes ago ....
Non-water signs must have such an easy going love life. I cannot even imagine it.

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Hell, if I was visiting you or you were visiting me we could be chatting in 3 places! Woot for chat geeks!

I am a bit of a challenge... I don't mean to be it just happens, somehow, not sure how.....not sure if I like that about me either. I know its protection and I sure know that if someone is willing to go through all that then they will not be flaky when the downs happen. That's important. I just don't do it on purpose (referring to the emotional HM part of me)

I agree An, like I just mentioned, maybe complicating things that don't necessarily need to be complicated.

Trial by Fire seems fitting...

Posted by starlover

Posted by Rabbit
Women worth keeping around are always "high maintenance" IMO

Too True

Women that challenge men are known to be high maintenance..another word for it is

*assertive*

Some men aint up for that

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Is this a scorpio man mantra? I swear I've heard the exact same thing....along with some elaboration, but you get the idea.

We probably did do that when I was in Ca visiting you. Lmao

I totally agree with you and that we need to be able to overlook and forgive those "Little Annoying Habits" and that we tend to take our frustrations out on the ones we love.

Posted by FixedWater
We probably did do that when I was in Ca visiting you. Lmao

I totally agree with you and that we need to be able to overlook and forgive those "Little Annoying Habits" and that we tend to take our frustrations out on the ones we love.

We did! 😄

I haven't met a person who hasn't done that at some point...it's just part of human nature, because it's "safe" to lash out at those we know and we're never sure what someone else might do. Fucked up logic, but that's how people work at their core.

Posted by Rabbit
I'll never say...

Ha! That answer right there just proves it. ~smug grin~

Ok, manly men, with all of this "women worth keeping are high maintenance" stuff, how do you define high maintenance in women worth keeping?

Posted by tiziani
What made you take is as an accusation? Ironically, mainly high maintenance people would do that... pretty funny. I'm just saying.

~ ? ~ ummmmmmm.... processing....

It's such a beautiful day today! The weather has been simply gorgeous.....










Tiz, that is so ironic. Haha.

Posted by Rabbit

Posted by MoonArtist
Ok, manly men, with all of this "women worth keeping are high maintenance" stuff, how do you define high maintenance in women worth keeping?

A nice rack.

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Nice racks aren't high maintenance....just fork over the $ $ $ for the good bras. 😛

Now dig deeper for a better answer.

Posted by MoonArtist
Ok, manly men, with all of this "women worth keeping are high maintenance" stuff, how do you define high maintenance in women worth keeping?

Best guess? Someone who calls you on your shit, yet is capable of recognizing their own.

Someone who is loving, protective, intelligent, confident, and tough, yet is able to direct these qualities in a certain direction - because they know themselves well enough to do so.

Someone that doesn't throw these qualities out haphazardly, hoping somebody will bite or in order to be accepted - because they have (for the most part) already learned to accept themselves.

At least that's ^^^^ how I took it when the Scorp explained.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by MoonArtist
Ok, manly men, with all of this "women worth keeping are high maintenance" stuff, how do you define high maintenance in women worth keeping?

Just having a backbone, self-confidence... sometimes even bordering into arrogance. I like that in Scorpio women. Frankly, it never felt like high maintenance at the time. It's only looking back in retrospect that I see it.

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How is that high maintenance, though? From my perspective it's just a part of being, part of one's personality coupled with lessons learned in life. It doesn't take much effort to naturally exist.

What's rumbled? Do I wanna know? Lol

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by MoonArtist
Ok, manly men, with all of this "women worth keeping are high maintenance" stuff, how do you define high maintenance in women worth keeping?

Best guess? Someone who calls you on your shit, yet is capable of recognizing their own.

Someone who is loving, protective, intelligent, confident, and tough, yet is able to direct these qualities in a certain direction - because they know themselves well enough to do so.

Someone that doesn't throw these qualities out haphazardly, hoping somebody will bite or in order to be accepted - because they have (for the most part) already learned to accept themselves.

At least that's ^^^^ how I took it when the Scorp explained.

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Waiting for my whole life for someone to call my bluff..

ahaha, my inner scorpness is showing.

Damnata... you really nailed it there. Lol

Posted by pastasauce

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by Rabbit

Posted by MoonArtist
Ok, manly men, with all of this "women worth keeping are high maintenance" stuff, how do you define high maintenance in women worth keeping?

A nice rack.

Nice racks aren't high maintenance....just fork over the $ $ $ for the good bras. 😛

Now dig deeper for a better answer.

ikr? im starting to resent all the smaller booby girls :/

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Yeah, my sister (A cup) can prance around bra free, the lucky turd. If I did that there would be accidents on the street and chaos would ensue....women might shoot me, too. But the price of a good bra is up there with buying a pair of nice jeans, and sometimes more than! I'm thinking of reeducating the public into accepting nudity as a way of life just so it's cheaper on the clothes budget. lol

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by MoonArtist
Ok, manly men, with all of this "women worth keeping are high maintenance" stuff, how do you define high maintenance in women worth keeping?

Best guess? Someone who calls you on your shit, yet is capable of recognizing their own.

Someone who is loving, protective, intelligent, confident, and tough, yet is able to direct these qualities in a certain direction - because they know themselves well enough to do so.

Someone that doesn't throw these qualities out haphazardly, hoping somebody will bite or in order to be accepted - because they have (for the most part) already learned to accept themselves.

At least that's ^^^^ how I took it when the Scorp explained.

This makes sense, but it's still just part of BEING naturally for some, so how is that high maintenance?

Posted by Rabbit
The first thing that comes to mind is "self contained".

My wife doesn't need me. She wants to be with me (and vice versa).

So I have to make sure I act accordingly. I can't just assume she'll stay.

Most men would call that high maintenance. I call that being your own strong and confident person.

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THIS sort of explains WHY it's high maintenance. So, basically it's the knowledge that you have to keep your A game going so you don't get walked out on?

Posted by Rabbit
FYI ladies...

A "nice rack" doesn't necessarily mean large.

IJS

Blah blah "nice rack" blah blah LARGE 😉

Posted by tiziani

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by tiziani

Posted by MoonArtist
Ok, manly men, with all of this "women worth keeping are high maintenance" stuff, how do you define high maintenance in women worth keeping?

Just having a backbone, self-confidence... sometimes even bordering into arrogance. I like that in Scorpio women. Frankly, it never felt like high maintenance at the time. It's only looking back in retrospect that I see it.

How is that high maintenance, though? From my perspective it's just a part of being, part of one's personality coupled with lessons learned in life. It doesn't take much effort to naturally exist.

Oh all right MA, just a walk in the park for you eh?

Interesting you see it as how much effort a woman puts into maintaining herself. I think both Rabbit and I are talking about how much effort the man has to match in maintaining the relationship.

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That's how I've viewed "high maintenance" women: gals who have to get their nails, feet, hair, clothes, everything done all the time and then nag their guy to make more and spend more on them....that nothing is ever good enough for them no matter how much they get. Basically the "real housewives" and "desperate housewives" types. ~shudders gag shudders~

Posted by tiziani

Posted by FixedWater
What's rumbled? Do I wanna know? Lol

I just mean he has your number.

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Ohhhhh.... somehow he got it without me giving it to him, so to speak. Lol
That part is ok though because I would never date someone that had issues with drinking. I have experienced this already and it's not very pleasant. I just wondered and have wondered how and what it is that I do/say that gives away anything about me before I am ready to reveal it anyway? How does a guy know she is high maintenance when he does not really even know her. Or how does a guy know shes low maintenance, or any other thing that guys look for and seem to find so easily..

Posted by Rabbit
She's a Virgo with a Gem moon...

She never stops talking. Even with her Leeb Merc.

My Gawd sometimes it takes all of my patience to sit there and take it.

ROFL....Sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but I'm picturing your inner face making those pained and constipated expressions while maintaining a neutral but interested outward look.

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by tiziani

Posted by FixedWater
What's rumbled? Do I wanna know? Lol

I just mean he has your number.

Ohhhhh.... somehow he got it without me giving it to him, so to speak. Lol
That part is ok though because I would never date someone that had issues with drinking. I have experienced this already and it's not very pleasant. I just wondered and have wondered how and what it is that I do/say that gives away anything about me before I am ready to reveal it anyway? How does a guy know she is high maintenance when he does not really even know her. Or how does a guy know shes low maintenance, or any other thing that guys look for and seem to find so easily..

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THIS I would like to know, too! Guys rarely approach me in RL....they will oggle and maybe flirt a little but nothing serious. Scorpio explained that they are players and they know I expect a guy to bring his A game from the beginning, that I play for keeps and I want all (heart mind and soul)...but HOW do they know?

Yes ..... How do they know? C'mon Guys... help a fellow Dxp'er out here and answer this question above all other questions. There's a secret rule book somewhere, isn't there?

I can rule out 1

Rabbit you and your wife are very fortunate... just sayin' 😄

Posted by Rabbit

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by Rabbit
She's a Virgo with a Gem moon...

She never stops talking. Even with her Leeb Merc.

My Gawd sometimes it takes all of my patience to sit there and take it.

ROFL....Sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but I'm picturing your inner face making those pained and constipated expressions while maintaining a neutral but interested outward look.

Exactly.

But it's worth it.

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It should be! And she'll enjoy the fact that you give her your time.

Well, I have gotten a little peek at Rabbit here on this Forum and although we are just online and yes you could be any freaking freak, I don't think that this is you on this forum for one second. I think you are you, and she is also a fortunate woman.
Are you squirming now? Lol 😄

Posted by tiziani

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by tiziani

Posted by FixedWater
What's rumbled? Do I wanna know? Lol

I just mean he has your number.

Ohhhhh.... somehow he got it without me giving it to him, so to speak. Lol
That part is ok though because I would never date someone that had issues with drinking. I have experienced this already and it's not very pleasant. I just wondered and have wondered how and what it is that I do/say that gives away anything about me before I am ready to reveal it anyway? How does a guy know she is high maintenance when he does not really even know her. Or how does a guy know shes low maintenance, or any other thing that guys look for and seem to find so easily..

THIS I would like to know, too! Guys rarely approach me in RL....they will oggle and maybe flirt a little but nothing serious. Scorpio explained that they are players and they know I expect a guy to bring his A game from the beginning, that I play for keeps and I want all (heart mind and soul)...but HOW do they know?

Maybe you don't break eye contact. In Italy that was always the case.

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Of course I don't break eye contact. I've never thought about it when I was younger until someone pointed it out, but what does that have to do with it?

It is and never should be about "Being Broken" ... we all are. The true test of a Man's Character in my opinion is one that will Look at his Broken Bits and fix them. For himself yes, but also for the one woman he cannot live without.

Posted by Rabbit
No.

I have an impenetrable force field of snarkasm.

Lol... I don't believe you Haha

Posted by Rabbit
Women worth keeping around are always "high maintenance" IMO

Yep.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by FixedWater
It is and never should be about "Being Broken" ... we all are. The true test of a Man's Character in my opinion is one that will Look at his Broken Bits and fix them. For himself yes, but also for the one woman he cannot live without.

"The world breaks everyone and afterwards some are strong in broken places"

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Yes... this.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by tiziani

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by tiziani

Posted by FixedWater
What's rumbled? Do I wanna know? Lol

I just mean he has your number.

Ohhhhh.... somehow he got it without me giving it to him, so to speak. Lol
That part is ok though because I would never date someone that had issues with drinking. I have experienced this already and it's not very pleasant. I just wondered and have wondered how and what it is that I do/say that gives away anything about me before I am ready to reveal it anyway? How does a guy know she is high maintenance when he does not really even know her. Or how does a guy know shes low maintenance, or any other thing that guys look for and seem to find so easily..

THIS I would like to know, too! Guys rarely approach me in RL....they will oggle and maybe flirt a little but nothing serious. Scorpio explained that they are players and they know I expect a guy to bring his A game from the beginning, that I play for keeps and I want all (heart mind and soul)...but HOW do they know?

Maybe you don't break eye contact. In Italy that was always the case.

Of course I don't break eye contact. I've never thought about it when I was younger until someone pointed it out, but what does that have to do with it?

I think you may not realise how uncommon that is... in the Western World most people will break eye contact within 2 seconds.

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~shrugs~ I've never thought about it from my own standpoint of looking out...it's just what I do because people interest me and I'm curious about them. Yes, I've noticed most break eye contact and it's always annoyed me. SMILE, people, it won't hurt you to do that!

I like the red car, and unfortunate but ITunes does not seem to have that song 😢

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by tiziani

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by tiziani

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by tiziani

Posted by FixedWater
What's rumbled? Do I wanna know? Lol

I just mean he has your number.

Ohhhhh.... somehow he got it without me giving it to him, so to speak. Lol
That part is ok though because I would never date someone that had issues with drinking. I have experienced this already and it's not very pleasant. I just wondered and have wondered how and what it is that I do/say that gives away anything about me before I am ready to reveal it anyway? How does a guy know she is high maintenance when he does not really even know her. Or how does a guy know shes low maintenance, or any other thing that guys look for and seem to find so easily..

THIS I would like to know, too! Guys rarely approach me in RL....they will oggle and maybe flirt a little but nothing serious. Scorpio explained that they are players and they know I expect a guy to bring his A game from the beginning, that I play for keeps and I want all (heart mind and soul)...but HOW do they know?

Maybe you don't break eye contact. In Italy that was always the case.

Of course I don't break eye contact. I've never thought about it when I was younger until someone pointed it out, but what does that have to do with it?

I think you may not realise how uncommon that is... in the Western World most people will break eye contact within 2 seconds.

~shrugs~ I've never thought about it from my own standpoint of looking out...it's just what I do because people interest me and I'm curious about them. Yes, I've noticed most break eye contact and it's always annoyed me. SMILE, people, it won't hurt you to do that!

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I totally agree with you