In need of Advice

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Getoverhereee
@Getoverhereee
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 20 · Topics: 1
My Cancer girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now but this libra guy who took her virginity keeps pursuing her and it starting to really irritate me. She claims thats her bestfriend but a bestfriend would at least respect her knowing she doesnt want to be with him anymore. This asshole just moved to the same street as me. The scorpio inside me wants to kick his ass but my girlfriend keeps telling me not to because thats her "bestfriend". Hes been after her for months and she keeps defending him whenever I get annoyed by this. Should I confront him about this or just leave it alone?
Profile picture of lololala
lololala
@lololala
11 Years

Comments: 4 · Posts: 234 · Topics: 20
She must choose you or him...libra is going after her for se* not friendship im sure of that...and she knows it but cancer woman love to feel that people are fighting over her,and we r scorpio r not playing we smell the bullshit mile away..ask her to leave him or get yourself a sexy woman as a friend and make her lose her mind..she must feel she is not alone just the way she makes you feel...
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Getoverhereee
@Getoverhereee
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 20 · Topics: 1
Posted by lololala
She must choose you or him...libra is going after her for se* not friendship im sure of that...and she knows it but cancer woman love to feel that people are fighting over her,and we r scorpio r not playing we smell the bullshit mile away..ask her to leave him or get yourself a sexy woman as a friend and make her lose her mind..she must feel she is not alone just the way she makes you feel...


Ive been trying to explain this to her but she really believes he actually likes her
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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by Getoverhereee
My Cancer girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now but this libra guy who took her virginity keeps pursuing her and it starting to really irritate me. She claims thats her bestfriend but a bestfriend would at least respect her knowing she doesnt want to be with him anymore. This asshole just moved to the same street as me. The scorpio inside me wants to kick his ass but my girlfriend keeps telling me not to because thats her "bestfriend". Hes been after her for months and she keeps defending him whenever I get annoyed by this. Should I confront him about this or just leave it alone?



You issue isn't really him. It's her inability to respect your feelings on the matter. I don't think the friendship needs to end completely, however she needs to make the boundaries very clear to him. Respect that you two are in are relationship. Stop pursuing me. Period.

Anything shy of that is simply feeding an ego.
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Getoverhereee
@Getoverhereee
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 20 · Topics: 1
Posted by Rabbit
If you've already expressed your feelings towards her, and continues to dismiss your concerns, then you need to end the relationship.

It's debatable as to whether its appropriate to have ex's as "friends", but that's irrelevant....it's your responsibility to assume control over your own feelings/happiness.

If the relationship is NOT making you feel happy and secure, then it's not right FOR YOU. And YOU is all that truly matters.


Im really thinking about this
Profile picture of Getoverhereee
Getoverhereee
@Getoverhereee
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 20 · Topics: 1
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by Getoverhereee
My Cancer girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now but this libra guy who took her virginity keeps pursuing her and it starting to really irritate me. She claims thats her bestfriend but a bestfriend would at least respect her knowing she doesnt want to be with him anymore. This asshole just moved to the same street as me. The scorpio inside me wants to kick his ass but my girlfriend keeps telling me not to because thats her "bestfriend". Hes been after her for months and she keeps defending him whenever I get annoyed by this. Should I confront him about this or just leave it alone?



You issue isn't really him. It's her inability to respect your feelings on the matter. I don't think the friendship needs to end completely, however she needs to make the boundaries very clear to him. Respect that you two are in are relationship. Stop pursuing me. Period.

Anything shy of that is simply feeding an ego.
click to expand



It definitely is feeding her ego and i know it, this aint the first time i had to explain to her that a guy is trying to be her friend, hes just trying to sleep with her
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Getoverhereee
@Getoverhereee
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 20 · Topics: 1
Posted by nov13thscorp
The "hood" in me wants to tell u to lay his ass the F out but the adult in me wants to tell u to talk to him face to face since u know him already and tell him whats bothering u.....dont fight him just yet, just in case this cancer chick isn't worth fighting for......


I really do wanna knock him tf out but im not a minor anymore, I dont want to catch a charge for assault. I'll just talk to him but i already know hes not going to pay attention unless i intimidate him
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nov13thscorp
@nov13thscorp
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 499 · Topics: 5
Posted by Getoverhereee
Posted by nov13thscorp
The "hood" in me wants to tell u to lay his ass the F out but the adult in me wants to tell u to talk to him face to face since u know him already and tell him whats bothering u.....dont fight him just yet, just in case this cancer chick isn't worth fighting for......
click to expand



I really do wanna knock him tf out but im not a minor anymore, I dont want to catch a charge for assault. I'll just talk to him but i already know hes not going to pay attention unless i intimidate him
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Getoverhereee
@Getoverhereee
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 20 · Topics: 1
Posted by shellshocker
Why did you break up a year ago?

Cancer girl went to this guy and lost her virginity to him... not you. Bet that still pisses you off, no?


My insane pisces ex was doing everything in her power to break us up and she succeeded I guess because she turned me and her against each other. that pisces played on my jealousy and provoked me to say some bad things about her which she told my cancer girl. Im not really pissed about the virginity thing, im only pissed she tried to lie to me about it
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LetltB
@LetltB
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 9186 · Topics: 179
Posted by Getoverhereee
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by Getoverhereee
I used to be friends with him actually



*raise eyebrow* Hmph.

So, how much of this is about you and this guy? Did you "take" her from him?


I was friends with him before i even knew her, he just changed as a person a lot and we became distant. He actually was her rebound because me and her broke up a year ago.
click to expand




I'm all about BOTH partners having friends, and if my SO told me I couldn't have my male friends, I'd kick his ass to the curb. HOWEVER...this situation, put it on the table, tell her this is unacceptable if she chooses YOUR friend over you...guess what?..she's a TWAT. Dump her ass save your energy and move on. She's either not over the rebound, or she's dangling him in your face and still resents the break up. Pick one.
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LetltB
@LetltB
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 9186 · Topics: 179
Posted by Getoverhereee
Posted by shellshocker
Why did you break up a year ago?

Cancer girl went to this guy and lost her virginity to him... not you. Bet that still pisses you off, no?


My insane pisces ex was doing everything in her power to break us up and she succeeded I guess because she turned me and her against each other. that pisces played on my jealousy and provoked me to say some bad things about her which she told my cancer girl. Im not really pissed about the virginity thing, im only pissed she tried to lie to me about it
click to expand





She's gonna drag your heart throught the trenches...get rid of her. The asshole friend deserves her.
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shellshocker
@shellshocker
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 21 · Posts: 4200 · Topics: 67
Ok. Your Pisces ex didn't provoke you to do anything except show a part of yourself you don't like. You bad mouthed your Cancer gf to your ex. Not good, but anyway...

The Cancer evened the playing field by bringing in her own triangle. She doesn't trust you and the Libra guy is her insurance policy to have someone in her corner, just in case.

If you firmly tell her you can't have a guy who's waiting in the wings hanging around and she doesn't respect that, cut her off.
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shellshocker
@shellshocker
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 21 · Posts: 4200 · Topics: 67
Posted by FrostAndBite
Ffs.


'The attention you get from Libra makes me uncomfortable. I feel like it compromises our relationship and I don't want that. Can we talk some more about it?'




definitely a softer touch that a Cancer would respond better too. But his username is Getoverhere.. i wonder if that's his style ?

i know some Scorps love the whole End Of Story thing 😄
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LetltB
@LetltB
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 9186 · Topics: 179
Posted by FrostAndBite
Ffs.

Tell her your feels. Not 'hey the Libra sucks cause he is trying to get some of that. You should stop talking to him so much.'

^Because that sound possessive and a little shallow. And it sounds like a directive, people dont like to be bossed around in relationships, it makes them feel undermined. Try something like this instead.

'The attention you get from Libra makes me uncomfortable. I feel like it compromises our relationship and I don't want that. Can we talk some more about it?'

^That is inclusive. It's also doesn't put her on the defensive, and gives her the ability to express any of her own concerns.



Well gee, let me get this straight.

The OP has a girlfriend. They break up. She fucks his friend on a rebound.
The OP gets back with the girlfriend (why is beyond me..but)
The girlfriend continues to hand around with OPS friend who she fucked on a rebound.
You suggest he go easy and gentle on her with some sweetness on top.
You think the girlfriend who purposely fucked his friend as a rebound is going to soften as a result.

Maybe he should just lay down on the front door so she doesn't get her feet dirty as she comes and goes eh?
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LunarMaiden
@LunarMaiden
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 136 · Posts: 9227 · Topics: 154
Actually this whole clusterfuck started with him shit talking her to his ex. Disloyal!!
If any of you Scorps learn anything about Crabs, this would be it:
DO NOT talk about us behind our backs to anyone. Don't even gossip. We DETEST this.

Crabs appreciate loyalty just as much as Scorpio's do, maybe more.
He broke HER trust. Now he wants to tell her who she can be friends with.

She has sexually bonded with HER FIRST LOVER.
She is probably having a difficult time making a clean break from him.
If he had a problem with this he shouldn't have screwed up to begin with.

He's just gonna have to either ride the wave or move on.
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LunarMaiden
@LunarMaiden
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 136 · Posts: 9227 · Topics: 154
Posted by CluelessCancer
You know about him. I say you're one step ahead of the herd, look Crabs, atleast me, always have one or two guys in the background just in case sheet goes downhill. we'll call them friends, but we have assessed their potential, if we act irritated when they get GFS or get Engaged, it's because we shelved them for ourselves.

Bahhahaha okay maybe that's just me. Wags eyebrows



I don't think she intended to make him a back up guy. But he is now.
He was her first, she was a virgin.
She has sexually and possibly emotionally bonded with the Libra.
She is not going to completely get rid of him. She can but it will take a while.
I think in time she will put distance if she continues to bond with the OP.
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LunarMaiden
@LunarMaiden
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 136 · Posts: 9227 · Topics: 154
Posted by FrostAndBite
Posted by shellshocker
Posted by FrostAndBite
Ffs.


'The attention you get from Libra makes me uncomfortable. I feel like it compromises our relationship and I don't want that. Can we talk some more about it?'




definitely a softer touch that a Cancer would respond better too. But his username is Getoverhere.. i wonder if that's his style ?

i know some Scorps love the whole End Of Story thing 😄



Lol! Yeah crabs can be quick to scuttle sideways with the wrong approach, which is unfortunetly one of scorps main approaches.

I am becoming more and more convinced the reason water trines fail(maybe even all trines) is because they don't consistently use compassionate too the point communication. As another user said to me recently, trines are so much alike that it makes the differences all the more noticeable.
click to expand




Yes I have the biggest communication issues with fellow water signs.
It can be a real mess sometimes.
And knowing how lousy Scorpios are with communicating, she probably has no idea how he truly feels.
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shellshocker
@shellshocker
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 21 · Posts: 4200 · Topics: 67
Posted by IrresistableScorp
I cut an old friend off cold because he said something inappropriate and my guy didn't like it. AND me and this Crabman friend live in different states and will probably never even see each other. He started telling me about the problems he was having with his SO and it felt like a proposal of some sort so...CUT OUT COLD.

It is very possible to do.



is this the same Crab that you spoke about on here who would makes references to your past sex life on facebook? You thought it was cute before, total ego boost for you, even though he is married.

Now, once your guy sees it and says something about it... you cut the Crab out. Now that your dirty is out in the open, time to play innocent.

you're so transparent
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LunarMaiden
@LunarMaiden
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 136 · Posts: 9227 · Topics: 154
Posted by Rabbit
Posted by LunarMaiden
The Crab already let go of the past when she took him back after he betrayed her with his ex. BOOM!



You've missed the point entirely.

click to expand




You refuse to see the point.
This started with an act of betrayal.
She bonded with another guy.
His act started this chain reaction.
He needs to be the one to communicate with her.
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LunarMaiden
@LunarMaiden
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 136 · Posts: 9227 · Topics: 154
Posted by Rabbit
You can either continue to focus on the circumstances that brought you to the problem you have at the present moment...

Or


You can forget about those circumstances and focus on the present.

By continuing to be associated with this other guy, she is not letting go.


The effort to shift the focus to the Scorpio and his past to portray the Cancer in a better light is not working.



That's rich, a Scorpio telling a Crab to get over the past. HA!!

You are trying to sweep his shit under the rug while lambasting the Crab.
The past tells you why we have the issue of the present.
There are clearly some trust issues between them.
I don't have to put the Crab in a better light, she has no darkness shadowing her.

All we have here is a Scorpio guy upset that the girl he betrayed is now friends with the guy she got with during their break up.
Yes the Libra is inappropriate, and yes the Crab should now put some distance between them.

But it's a bit more complicated than that now.
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shellshocker
@shellshocker
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 21 · Posts: 4200 · Topics: 67
Posted by IrresistableScorp
😕 We had something 25 years ago for like 3 months--it was really good sex??_

Honestly it was a conflict friending him but hey people get over shit after 25 years right? LOL



A married man contacts you on fb with a reference to sex... and you friend him.

What was he contacting you for? The good friendship you developed over a 3 month period?

lmao...



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LunarMaiden
@LunarMaiden
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 136 · Posts: 9227 · Topics: 154
Posted by Rabbit
Posted by LunarMaiden
Posted by Rabbit
Posted by LunarMaiden
The Crab already let go of the past when she took him back after he betrayed her with his ex. BOOM!



You've missed the point entirely.



You refuse to see the point.
This started with an act of betrayal.
She bonded with another guy.
His act started this chain reaction.
He needs to be the one to communicate with her.



Why does it have to be anyone's fault?

Focus on the present. Not the past.
click to expand




I'm sure if they can communicated they could work things out and live in the present and focus on the future.
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Getoverhereee
@Getoverhereee
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 20 · Topics: 1
Posted by LunarMaiden
Actually this whole clusterfuck started with him shit talking her to his ex. Disloyal!!
If any of you Scorps learn anything about Crabs, this would be it:
DO NOT talk about us behind our backs to anyone. Don't even gossip. We DETEST this.

Crabs appreciate loyalty just as much as Scorpio's do, maybe more.
He broke HER trust. Now he wants to tell her who she can be friends with.

She has sexually bonded with HER FIRST LOVER.
She is probably having a difficult time making a clean break from him.
If he had a problem with this he shouldn't have screwed up to begin with.

He's just gonna have to either ride the wave or move on.


Id rather let her to break it off, because I trust her, if she'd rather be with someone else she can go ahead, i just cant stand someone else who is constantly trying to get in her pants
Profile picture of shellshocker
shellshocker
@shellshocker
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 21 · Posts: 4200 · Topics: 67
Posted by FrostAndBite
Posted by Rabbit
The effort to shift the focus to the Scorpio and his past to portray the Cancer in a better light is not working.



No one is in any better light. They're about equal mistakes, in my personal opinion.

Both of their mistakes are relevant to the conversation, because they are perfect examples of the matched maturity and the weak spots in them as individuals and the relationship.
click to expand




truth!
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