help help help

Hi all!

I'm a cancer female was dating a cancer male for 7 months. Never really argued,had a exclusive relationship and about a couple weeks ago we had an argument that blew up, then resolved it. I never hassle him,no keeping tabs, never jealous. Today I see a post from his baby's mother on his fb saying" you always say the right things 🙂" with a ecard attached. Then I see she commented on his picture so handsome. So I sent him a text. I said hi, can we talk? What is the post on fb from your ex? I stated I wasn't mad and just wondered what was up. Well he deleted me, won't talk to me. He's 40 years old. I don't understand. Is this how cancer men dump or hide? I'm just wondering and kinda blaming myself. I'm confused...

My thing is this why should you care. You two aren't talking anymore. Plus he has a child by this lady, so he has to somewhat communicate with her. Also keep in mind that most people sometimes get back with that same person they had a child with. So why even bother with a sticky situation like this. Him deleting you was the biggest action that clearly shows he don't care about you. You probably shouldn't have did the whole messaging thing. It did no good for you & you will only end up hurting yourself.

So find you someone who has no baggage or crazy exes. Someone who will make you a priority. Never let anyone devalue you. He's only pushing you towards someone who truly deserves you 🙂

I want exs with children to be friends it is for the sake of the child. I never had a issue with that. I'm just confused because this was out of nowhere and he couldn't even give me the respect to talk to me. We didn't have a bad relationship before this. It was out of the blue

This just happened today, so I'm going through the emotions. I know I can do better than someone that can't even man up and say hey this isn't working.

You are all correct! This is the first time today I didn't feel like it was my fault. I'm glad I posted on here. I deserve better than that.🙂

It was humiliating. I've always done things respectfully. Even with my divorce I was upfront. The bad thing is he was the most well mannered guy and he pulled this. I just expected more out of him when it came down to ending it. I thought he would be decent at least.

Yes definitely, it isn't your fault. He handled the whole situation immaturly. You shouldn't worry about something that isn't your fault. Remember actions tell you a lot about people. Hope you have a bless weekend 🙂

Thank you! You do the same! 🙂

I dated 2 people who had kids, it wasn't the fact they had kids, & it's how that person handled the situation that i was kool with. I would date someone with kids as long as they got their crap together with the babys father. It can be tough tho :/

No premature dating or alcohol! Lol. My ex husband has a child with someone else and they did not get along. I made them sit down and come to an agreement to be civil for their daughter's sake. I just don't even want drama from anything right now. I'm gonna stay single for a bit. 🙂

I needed a reality check. If he behaves like that about a question...I don't need him or his childlike behavior. Thank you all for your help! Hugs! I will check in later. 🙂

Ugh. Now I try to sleep and I can't. I keep thinking about what happened. I was ok and now I'm not.

I would like for him to comprehend you don't treat people that way, but I think he is dense...

Posted by cancerconfused
Ugh. Now I try to sleep and I can't. I keep thinking about what happened. I was ok and now I'm not.

there will be moments like this...just stick to your decision...it is the best decision you could have made.

his child won't go anywhere and neither will his ex. and if this is how they understand to deal with "having a child together", there is nothig you can do about it. it will go on, and on and on...it is not about the child, it is about the ex... i have a child with my ex husband, my child and he do share a healthy relationship, but i do not share anything with him except for one phone call when he comes to pick her up and another when he brings her back home.period.

you don't need such a mess in your life.

I know. I shouldn't be sweating this at all. Ugh those moments when I do suck!

Why today after how it went down yesterday am I crying and wanting this asshole back? Jeez I've been dumped before and did just fine. I don't understand it.

I say good riddance. What a jerk!

I know! I'm trying to be strong! Yes he is a jerk and a coward for sure. These moments will soon pass I hope. I think what really hurts is the disrespect. 😢

I actually blocked him. It's one way to cope. Hopefully he won't try to contact me because that always happens as soon as you start to get over them.

Delete his tele number. When he calls or texts ask, "Who is this?"
Can you get away for a weekend out of town? This usually helps me relax and think.

I did that too!! I'm working on getting out of town too. It will be a couple weeks before I can.

Are you near any parks? You should go camping.

I'm in the city. 😢 I don't mind driving a little ways.

Cancer men keep in contact with people who were important in their life at some point.They cant give up easily on people.
In this case was about his ex wife,the mother of his child,so very important part of his life.
Maybe he thought you cant handle his past?They like people to live in harmony(maybe he wanted to present you to his ex wife as his new gf at some point?).
My brother is a Cancer and he cant give up easy on people,he presented all his new girlfriends to his first gf(because he still has same circle of friends with his first gf and they meet eachother few times per year at weddings,parties,etc).They joke together,like old buddies and thats all.
My brother actual gf is also a Cancer( they are together since August).She trew herself in relationship with my brother exactly 1 week after previous relationship of his.She is rebound,for sure.
She already see herself as his wife,coming to his place every week-end ,cleaning,cooking and buying him plenty of small gifts.Even if is a long distance relationship and she is not his top priority.I told my brother is not fair on her,but he said the situation is ok for her,she keeps coming at his place,even if my brother told her he will never get married,i think she still hopes 'for ever together'.
Cancer people are lovely people but they are overruled by emotions,i think?

I am sorry to hear of your troubles.

Why is he acting like this?

Posted by Metaphysicalreciprocity
I have an ex-husband and he has a girlfriend. I would never disrespect her by doing something like that. If it's not pertaining to responsibilities we still share despite being divorced, then we don't discuss it. If he wants to vent about work-related issues or family problems, I respectfully decline to discuss those topics. It's all about respecting boundaries. As a woman, I respect her position and their relationship.

OP, be leery of dating men with children. I have a few male friends that are no longer "officially" with their children's mothers, but they see them as women they're connected to for life...and with that, comes "p**** for life". Their words, not mine. Just be careful. Not all of them think that way, obviously.

realist ish

Actually he wanted to get back with her. All good I could have accepted that. Moving on myself happily!! Life is to short!