I've got the R&B Blues.

my 9 year old daugher is really into this music and currently has ashanti's 'body on me' as her ringtone. she is a complete innocent and because of the bleeping of the 'tryin to get in them drawers and bang it out till the mornin' lyric, she doesn't quite understand the song and i'm not about to act like the thought police as my parents did and ban everything that i don't happen to approve of but nevertheless - what kind of pressure is there on our kids these days? girls in particular.

the video to this song makes me heave. nelly features in it and every time the camera closes on him, he is licking his lips in a manner that is supposed to be sexy but makes me want to punch his lights out. the man is pig ugly for god's sake! take away his celebrity and who would look twice in his direction?

in the video, ashanti and her girlfriends are undulating on sun loungers in skimpy bikinis and the guys are playing roulette in a manly-type fashion (supposedly) and the whole focus is on how he wants to fuck her. the women are portrayed as brain dead and up for it with any man with a pulse (and a lambourghini preferably) and the men just take their pick like they're at some kind of cattle market. no witty repartee, no intellecutal debate.......nada!

ashanti lets the side down if you ask me cos she sings 'i aint the one in a relationship, and i'm not tryin' to be the other chick'. so WHY is she sticking her tits in nelly's face?? why is she 'rubbin' that body' on him— why is she not telling him to take a running jump? ok, perhaps wrong turn of phrase - could be taken as an invitation - so why isn't she telling him to go fuck himself at the very least—

my girl is aries sun/scorpio rising. she's beautiful and she's going to have a very potent sexuality. she's already sprouting boobies which she is very excited about but i don't want her thinking that her body is currency and that she is completely defined by it as these kind of songs suggest.

another song she likes - 'can't keep my hands off the cookie jar' by gym class heroes - also makes me cross. naturally, she just thinks the guys have a thing for double choc chip but of course, i know different and again, the women are featured like cattle. again, the guys are ugly bugs too but this is irrelevant cos all women are only 'fuck-pieces' anyway.

and one more thing. not only are these songs sexist but they appear to be height-ist too. what IS all that 'shawty' nonsense? i've seen chris brown refer to a tall girl as shawty and so perhaps it doesn't refer to her height? perhaps it just refers to a woman's place - below her man? whatever - i don't hear anyone singing 'tawlie' LOL.

grrrrrr. makes my blood boil.

it's not all bad i guess. ne-yo's current album 'year of the gentleman' is about long term relationships and he at least shows some respect for women, but nevertheless, the prevailing attitude is that women are sex objects who should be grateful to get fucked at all, let alone by a bling-laden, pig ugly, baggy-panted, mindless asshole with too much money and probably no dick to speak of.

if one boy so much as looks at my princess with a glimmer of this bad attitude towards women, in my baby's words, he will be toast with butter on.

end of rant.

"i don't want her thinking that her body is currency"

pot to kettle

good rant

SR: nah. my body isn't currency, my whole being is a financial instrument like futures, options and interest rate swaps. what i am saying is that long term investment in the intelligence department is required to avoid the highs and lows of volatile markets together with the pitfalls of bad financial advice.

I thought Shawty meant a black woman ... but, not sure about that.

"i know different and again, the women are featured like cattle. again, the guys are ugly bugs too but this is irrelevant cos all women are only 'fuck-pieces' anyway."

Hmmmm...maybe you could sneak some Ani DiFranco, Tori or even some L7 into her iPod just to offer a balanced view?

Unfortunately .. you are just mum, an outsider.

Her girls is where she fits.

So, if you tell her anything that's contrary to where she belongs, then she will be in spite of you.

I would suggest leading her, rather than explaining.

All you can do Roxi is hope that you instilled all the right things in her while you were raising her. Unfortunately you can't protect her from all of this. I know when I was younger I loved certain songs because I liked the beat of it, but I rarely really fully understood the meaning of them. It's good that you are staying aware of what is going on with her. So many parents these days don't have a clue to what their children are interested in.

As long as there's MTV, VH1, BET and other video's channels it will be hard to stop her from watching them unless you get those shows blocked.

"my 10 year old daughter is a Scorp so she is in tune with my views entirely on the subject of women and society. We discuss these things alot. It's funny how at a very early age Scorp girls just seem to know that being a strong, independent person is the way to go."



That may be a Scorpio child-thing, though ... my son, and us, used to spend every Sunday morning, drinking coffee and talking about anything in life or the world, at large .. for hours on end .. at a very young age, and he was able to grasp, analyze and apply everything we talked about in his own way.

Aries are a tad different .. they aren't really listeners/discussers.

Perhaps, if she looks up to her brother, and him being a Virgo will naturally listen/observe .. then maybe he has more power to direct her.

The music I listened to at that age was based on what was in my parents record collection. Beatles, Ricky Nelson, Chet Atkins, John Cash, Godspell the musical, etc. Good clean wholesome stuff. But we didnt have iPods and MTV and FM radio stations back then either. For the last few years, I am exposing my daughter to regular doses of decent music. Sure, I'll toss in a little Fergy, or maybe some Zeppelin here and there, but just a taste. Aint gonna be playin' no Jay-Z or Snoop Dawg for her, thats a bet.


Strangely enough, her most recent requests are for Bjork....

I'm surprised Ashanti and Nelly are still together.

I saw the uncensored video. The words aren't appropriate for a young girl.

Remember when Alanis Morrisete said 'fuck' on her number one hit?

Man, that was something else, at the time, huh?

the prevailing attitude is that women are sex objects who should be grateful to get fucked at all, let alone by a bling-laden, pig ugly, baggy-panted, mindless asshole with too much money and probably no dick to speak of.

Hahahaha, Roxi we think very much alike on this subject. I turn my nose up at all that's represented in much of the popular music right now lol.

It's funny how you have to have the mind of a whore and the body of a porn-star to be considered a woman rgiht now. I'm so anti- "that", but many women that are my age I am around believe its so cool.

Nope, its not cup of tea.

And yeah, I agree alot of those women are like cattle amd its disheartening to watch. I stopped looking at those stations with those videos in like 2005 or whatever lol.

After high school, there was no reason to keep up with the latest stuff because all the homecomings and proms were over.

My Virgo buddy would watch the videos and mock them during our lunch period -- he became overbearing at times but he sure was funny lol!!!!

What you can try is get her away from the pop hop modernity > try www.amazon.com since she's intrested in the bump and grind give her an education it will open her mind > pick up james brown's greatest hitz, uhhhh something from Sam House and try Howling Wolf I'm not famili with sam and howlin' but gonna pick it up get some edu turn up the vol hahaha

^^^^ Generally speaking, 9yo girls arent going to listen to the blues masters!

But on a side note, today my 8yo daughter played the air guitar for the very first time!!! I dont even remember what it was she was humming at the time, it just blew me away watching her! Told her to try playing it behind her back, and she obliged. Awesome... 😭

^^ bittersweet tears flowing

my daughter does like a really broad range of music and fumingli, you're right that you can't tell an aries girl anything at all but she is aware that it's not nice for a woman to be viewed in this way and i would defy any boy to try and show that attitude to my girl!! LOL. in fact, i relish the prospect.

she's very into music and has a prodigious singing voice. she recently left an audience completely gobsmacked at a karaoke night when she sang a duffy song called 'mercy' which is a retro, sixties kind of sound. i don't think she will ever be susceptible to behaving in an ashanti-type fashion. all her icons write their own songs and are artists of substance but she likes the groove of r&b and hip hop.

what i was really trying to say in the thread was that it is an awful kind of pressure for young women today.